High School Coaches

Are high school football coaches really as angry as the stereotype? Do they yell non-stop? If you played high school football what's the best thing one of your coaches ever yelled?

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Some of the older ones are. Often times, they just grow bitter and resentful at having to coach what must seem like the same kids, year after year, never maturing from their high school selves. Imagine coaching the same flippant, arrogant, stupid twats for half your life. That will make anyone insane.

I had a good coach in high school and he was perpetually angry, moderating between seething and vengeful. He threw up before every game, and when he wasn't yelling he was standing with his arms folded, jaw clenched. I have no idea how or why he did this job, but he was good at it. Every good football coach I had was a variation of this - the really good ones seem to get excited about the good things without internalizing the bad, unlike most HS coaches.

Do coaches ever hit the kids? Do they ever offer bounties for hurting kids on other teams?

>High school coach constantly called kids faggots
>Every halftime speech would have the word faggot at least 10 times
>Every practice he'd yell things like "MOVE IT FAGS, COME ON YOU FAGGOTS, and STOP FAGGING AROUND"
>A mom overhead this at pratice, reported him, and he ended up resigning it instead of fighting it because he didn't want a big public fight over it
>He wasn't married and I always wondered if he was actually gay
>He works at Costco and coaches jr high football in another district now

If he's still throwing around the word faggot, I guarantee one of his halftime speeches will go viral after some kid records it. His halftime speeches were bizarre and terrfiying, but if we hadn't been in front of him while they were given they'd have been hilarious.

>That time he brought in a steering wheel as a prop and yelled about how we needed to drive the team to state
>That time he declared he wanted to see the other team's quarterback carted off the field and in the obituary section of the paper the next day and how if any of us went to the funeral we'd be off the team
>That time he brought in a newspaper clipping about the God Hates Fags protestors and told us we better stop playing like faggots
>That time he brought in a cellphone and pretended he was getting a call from the other coach at halftime and the other coach was calling us faggots

>Sour coach Saurs
>I'm rolling in biscuit dough
>take a salt tablet
>do the helmet test

gold

We used to get paid in milkshakes for concussing players on the other teams.

What was the worst anyone on your team ever injured someone?

lol he sounds awesome

>its a coach gives us a speech about how football is canceled this year since some kid got a broom stick shoved up his ass episode

I have coached high school football and wrestling now for about 12 years and while I never really screamed at kids, it has certainly become less common for two reasons. A lot of the old school coaches are either dead or too old to put in time and effort (coaching HS takes a shit load of time, I figured out I make about .02 per hour). Secondly, kids today psychologically are not tough enough to get screamed at or disciplined like many of us who are 30 and older.

HS football is honestly the worst sport to play at that age.
Either that or swimming, swimmers are usually cancer

>HS swimming

check your privilege white boi

This one coach kept calling me "dog meat". He knew my older brother from the football team so he kept shouting "you're doge meat(my last name)!" He was an ex CFL player or some shit

My high school coaches seemed to relive their high school years through the players. They always get really nervous before games and really showed heart and emotion for the game. The stereotypes are mostly true with getting really angry and making speeches that don't make any sense. I remember the best speech was after we won an upset game against a better team and our coach was trying to compare our game to picking up a hot chick and banging her then having a threesome with her mom and sister. 90 percent of things coaches say make 0 sense. Probably from all the repeated concussions. hi

I had a super angry one that would always yell.

He got fired for going off the rails and smacking a kid at practice one year - and this was before much of the sjw/pc shit that is in schools now.

Of all the fall sports.

Soccer - your a communist

Swimming - you are gay

Volleyball - confirmed homosexual

Tennis - gay and communist

Cross Country - your too uncoordinated to play a real sport.

Football - slightly retarded from the repeated concussions

Take your pick

I'll build on this:
Fencing: foreign exchange student
Kendo: Asian or wannabe Asian
Wrestling: either manlet or hulk
Basketball: black
Hockey: stoner

Baseball: Walking Adonis

Lacrosse: pussy stoner

Track: either uncoordinated or an athlete with nothing to do in the spring

Golf : rich and white

Anime club : pussy wrangler, literal chick magnet.

my friend broke his ankle in a jv gamer, coach yelled at him to walk it off. the broken bone slipped and severed his achilles tendon. gg coach

>high school kendo

I gotta think this is in Hawaii or some shit
In a real american HS it would be a small unsanctioned club at best

It really depends on the coach 2bh.

Had a coach tell my buddy to take his ass to Loring Park (a local gay hangout) because of a hat he was wearing. I thought that was funny.

Went to a school that has won multiple state championships.

Dude was definitely a prick but he was fair.

yes

I can still hear his rants, kicking the trash can, and sending us home 30 minutes into practice.

I can also hear him yell Stack I

My father is a high school coach.
>the only time he gave a half-time speech as an OC at this one school he just yelled about bringing down an aircraft carrier (?)

>sending us home 30 minutes into practice

That sounds like a reward

>Baseball:Walking Adonis
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Literally Sup Forums: the man.

I don't want to get all preachy and genderfluid here, but that guy sounds awful if he just uses the same insult over and over again endlessly.

I've had a few

Football
>players dad, always picks him and shouts at us to play like his son

American football
>one coach like a father figure, tough love and want to impress him
>other coach a fucking Manlet nutter who padded up one practice because people weren't tackling properly and proceeded to drop his shoulder into every player on the team and then snapped a clip board

>American football

Did you play American football in the UK?

He was Sandusky trying to find the lone gay kid so he could get in with him.

We were beating this Ghetto nigger team 28-7 at half and he just kind of went beserk that we gave up that TD on a blown coverage right before half and tore their white board off the wall and smashed it and threw all the markers at us.

The booster club had to pay back the Ghetto school back for the white board because it was some huge 7 ft long custom one with their name on it.

Yup

If any one wants to see over the top ridiculously angry black coaches watch the movie Year of the Bull (kek). It's a doc about a local prospect at a poor as fuck school that is trying to get scouted by the NFL. The coaching staff scream in the kids faces, hit them and even fucking fight them it is fucking hilarious. If any one knows the comedian Tom Segura or listens to "Your moms house" podcast they reference it all the time with classic quotes from it like "YO MAMA IN THE FUCKING STANDS", have a watch
youtu.be/6s23JTmfJOY

If a coach isn't yelling at you, it means he thinks you don't care anymore. Yelling is passion.

HS Football is the last bastion of being tough. The military is a bunch of pussies, the NFL is a bunch of pussies, NASCAR is a bunch of pussies, manufacturing work is a bunch of pussies, and office work is a bunch of pussies.

HS Football = no women. No wonder society is falling apart. We gave women rights. Did women play HS Football?

this is your average HS football team in the south

His little skits and stuff sound hilarious though.

Nice what position(s)?

"you guys look like a bunch of fag elephants mating" to two pussies lined up in a tackling drill.

coach was fired for showing up to practice drunk.

>Muh poor faggots

Fuck off, faggot.

Coach used to make us push the sled and do up downs until someone passed out every day after school to start off practice.

You can tell he never played team sports. I'm sure your soccer teams have coaches saying shit like that too.

American football is all about toughening your pansy ass up. Calling you names is only the beginning of it.

>slightly retarded from all the concussions turned me into a communist
Makes sense desu senpai

>Do they yell non-stop?
kinda but its not always mad yelling, they yell positive stuff too
>If you played high school football what's the best thing one of your coaches ever yelled?

quick story
>defensive starter, don't play special teams
>we force 4th down with the other team backed up kinda deep
>start to jog off the field
>call comes it punt red, defense stays out to go for the block
>their punter bobbles the ball for a second and i lay him out forcing a fumble, ball rolling towards endzone
>i dive on it but it slips out of my hands
>my teammate gets it for a TD
>jog to the sideline
>coach yells "dammit user, why'd you have to let teammateanon score, now we'll never hear the end of it"


>mystery niggas

The fuck are you talking about? Swimming is a way better sport than football especially at the HS level

I'm all for yelling at kids playing football, but I don't think you should fight them. I can't believe the coach did that with the camera there.

not when we got a 2 a day the next day for that, 4AM practice before school and then regular practice til 8PM

I played defensive line in high school. Started as a freshmen which is a big deal in Texas. Had 4 different position coaches, I'll walk you through each one

>freshmen year: Old Redneckish guy. Pretty fat, didn't yell a lot and moved schools because he got caught fucking our 60 year old secretary.

>sophomore year. Massive massive massive former body builder. 6'2 340 with insanely large arms. Could bench 700+ easily. Arms were so big he couldn't apply sunscreen to the top of his head or wipe his ass. Didn't really need to yell to be intimidating. Got fired for getting in a fist fight with our head coach mid-season.

>junior year. By far the craziest, ex special forces. Ate a live frog first day of two-a-days to "liven us up". Constantly told us stories about murdering people. Got in trouble from the school for throwing practice grenades into class rooms and slamming the door. But really a great coach and motivator. Moved schools after a year

>senior year. White guy that talked like Ice-T and said "mutha fucka" every other word. Was a really good coach but was the most thug ass dude I've been around. Got moved to the press box after first game because parents could hear him scream obscenities.

I went to a small Texas high school and have a plethora of psycho coach stories of anyone wants to hear

Is Texas really that crazy about High School football? It seems pretty cool. Would people in general care about it more than NFL or CFL?

Gay enough to make you my persknal cocksleeve you little bitch

Yeah it really is, but it depends on the city/high school. My small hometown was known for being really good so everyone in town would show up on Fridays nights. I always had people around town talking to me about the team and stuff year round. School was never a factor in my life because I played football. It was literally life. Friday Night Lights (the movie) is an honest interpretation of what Texas High School Football is like.

Yeah I watched FNL that's why I was asking. Your school ever win State in its history?

Played soccer instead, but from small school in WV so had insane HS coaches.
>Never played soccer ever. Always yelled stupid shit. Ex. Other team gets ball and nigga starts yelling "ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK!" Like we're goddamn Japs or something. He was fat af and always pissy. His neck jiggled when he yelled and he would constantly start stuttering due to anger. As he got angrier spittle would start to slowly form and build up in the corner of his mouth.
>Really must of hated God cause he always used Goddamn, Shit, and Bullshit constantly.
>Used Fucking Bullshit at least once a week. By the time his son, my friends, and me were seniors used fuck daily because of our shenanigans.
>Always used backhanded compliments like "user has come a long way being the worst on the team. But has really developed to a decent player."
>Weirdiest shit he ever said was he told us to "G-g-g-go f-f-fuc-k-k a duc-k-k!" When we were fucking around one practice.
>Always told us to "Run!" Constantly while doing sprints. Like no shit Sherlock.
>One time called us "Such loose pussies my dog wouldn't fuck y'all."
>We always thought he would have a stroke during games on the field because of constant screaming and his weight.
All though he was a terrible coach and dickhead he taught me how to not be a fucking pussy.

hey! I think that's my screenshot. point break is my v favorite movie

>I went to a small Texas high school and have a plethora of psycho coach stories of anyone wants to hear

I want to hear all of them.

Towns shut down in Texas every friday. During state championships, entire cities or counties will shut down.

>I'll never experience american football in highschool

thought about going to those captive practices of an amateur team 30-40mins away from my town to see if I was good enough to join(no idea where I'd play, I'm fast and strong but only 5'10) but I already lift and do boxing

You could definitely sign up for a local amateur team and play WR

my band director yelled non stop and threw chairs so im sure football coaches were worse.

Had a huge black O-Line coach in Pop Warner league who played at Nebraska in the 90's, and all the other coaches were crazy rednecks or black dudes since I lived in the South.

The good ones do a military style "break you down and build you up" thing where they yell at you and are hard on but never go too far, and then when you improve you go from hating them to seeking their approval. You become mentally tough enough to handle being yelled at in your face without losing focus.

>my band director yelled non stop and threw chairs so im sure football coaches were worse.

How could anyone take band so seriously?

My coach used to yell and scream constantly, at me too, He called me ugly all the time and encouraged the other kids to pick on me and some of the other guys. He used to put holes in the wall and what not. I remember since he couldn't hit us he'd just take part in the drills and scrimmages at practice and manhandle us that way. Our team was terrible though, one win in 2 years, and he left.

>went to all black school that magic johnson went to
>all black coaches
>dropped pass during game due to booty blast from 6"4' 260 Nignog
>coach SNATCHES ME by facemask straining my neck and cusses me out in front of family and friends
>lose 31-6
>this went on for 3 years on varsity as I played on varsity as sophomore
>so glad I don't play anymore

Yeah. He was an ass, but it was better that way.

My position coach, however, was a really stern but quiet type. If he yelled you fucked up, you really fucked up.

>mfw I played with an NFL player in one on one drills

In 7th grade our coach was a first year coach who was 65 years old and a former baptist preacher. Was honestly mentally unstable. He would walk into the locker room every morning and make a speech about what's wrong with our society and cry. Imagine spending every morning in middle school, first period, watching a 65 year old man cry because the world wasn't going gods way. He would then engage us in a team building activity like bear crawling around the track or fights. Fun times

Yes. And it was glorious

I did xc in high school and it would have been a 10/10 good time but the fucking girls team ruined everything, spreading rumors and shit. The coach was a cool guy and was just good at workouts and training everyone. We had a small team that always outpreformed our expectations considerably.

My coach was a really good guy. He used to give us all kisses in his office after a game or sometimes he'd join us in the showers

At practice one day coach gave us a pep talk that included the phrase "YOU GONNA FUCK EM IN THE ASS!"

One kid snickered and made a comment about how that was gay which the coach overheard. We had to run so hard that I thought I might actually die.

They're all pedophiles.

hello fellow Lamarfag

Called the cheer leading coaches sister a cunt. Got fired for it. He was a based coach tho she was a cunt

>high school marching band director is a serious stickler
>have a full staff of PhD's in music education on payroll
>in the end it's worth it because we put on the best halftime show in the state and win all competitions
>put in perfect scores in state competition every year
>be part of the best marching band in state and get into all real sporting events for free

But seriously, coach. Three-a-days are not necessary. Our football team makes the playoffs every year and they never do three-a-days. Nine hour days (with meal breaks) during my summer break? They winded us up like toy soldiers.

I carried a 40 pound sousaphone all day, every day. Put in the same amount of work as a second string lineman but never had the chance to fuck a cheerleader.

pepe.jpg

;-;

I was in cross country and track, we like this isolated little group that more or less did what we did off on our own. The girls were cool, dated one for a little while (she ended up stalking my sister after I graduated and even tracked me down in the Army) and our coach was a big ass black dude who would yell at us and eat chick fil a as we ran.

This is in Texas btw

We got cans of shasta for laying kids out, or for stingers, good old inner city football.

This happened to me too, then the coach also broke the crutch he was using for his leg, and then lost his shit even more. None of us could keep a straight face

ahahhahaahhahahaha ugly

had an israeli gym teacher who was an old guy who used to say funny as shit stuff in broken english. For example:

>Ha ha ha ha....you make my balls laugh.

I didn't play high school sports, but a couple of the coaches were also teachers. One of them, Coach Striegel, taught gym class.

Coach Striegel was the sort of stereotypical gym teacher you'd see on TV or in a comic strip. He was an ex-athlete, out of shape, loud, and not particularly bright; all factors that made him an easy target for jokes. Whatever passion he'd had for physical fitness or teacher gym class had disappeared years ago, leaving him stuck in a low-status job he clearly despised. In the interest of keeping class going Coach Striegel would put up with a few jokes and comments, but would lose it if pushed too far. I vividly remember the day Coach Striegel lost it on our class. It was a Monday back at school after a scorching weekend, and my classmate Ernest arrived with the worst sunburn I had ever seen in my life. He was bright red, and even making slight movements looked painful. He grimaced as he changed into his gym shirt and shorts, his skin badly blistered from those weekend hours in the baking sun.

Ernest struggled through warmups, looking like he might actually die when it came time to do situps. Just as warmups were wrapping up one student hollered at Coach Striegel "Why do you make us do all these situps? You couldn't do one situp!"

Even Coach Striegel had too much dignity and far too little physical ability to attempt a situp in front of the class, so he responded with his favorite comeback. "When I was your age, I played three sports!" Unimpressed, the student fired back "You don't play any sports now though!" which sent Coach into a rage. "YOU'RE GOING TO DO SITUPS UNTIL I TELL YOU TO STOP." We immediately dropped to our backs and began doing situps. I glanced over at Ernest who looked like he might actually cry from the pain. Ernest writhed in agony, battling to do his pushups, but succumbed to the pain and writhed in agony on the floor. Coach Striegel noticed Ernest wasn't participating, and his fury grew.

The nfl could use him

>be me
>throwing up after milk sprints
>got in trouble earlier in practice, which probably means more milk and more sprints, bull in the ring if I'm lucky

>user GET THE FUCK OVER HERE
>"h-hold on coach"
>THERE'S TWO THINGS YOU HOLD ON TO YOU, YOUR WOMAN AND YOUR DICK AND YOU AINT DOING NEITHER, MOVE YOUR SKINNY ASS

also my coach coined the term pigfuck way before Hoffman

"DID I SAY YOU COULD STOP? DID I SAY YOU COULD STOP?" Coach Striegel was blood red with pure rage, his veins throbbing in his neck and face, his blood pressure clearly above its already dangerously high baseline. His crimson face made Ernest's sunburn look like a nice tan in comparison. Before Ernest could get out a word about his sunburn, Coach was yelling at him again. Ernest was forced to do solo situps in front of everyone as Coach yelled "UP.. DOWN UP.. DOWN" at him as we watched on in horror. The blisters on Ernest's back began to pop as he sat up and down, his shirt stained with pus and sweat, the floor greasy from all the zit juice. Coach Striegel, never a particularly observant man noticed nothing, just continuing to make Ernest do situp after situp in front of the class. Soon the back of his shirt began darkening, turning the color of Coach Striegel's face. As he sat up and down, a bloody pus pool formed at his back. Blood and pus were slowly oozing across the floor, and students were horrified. It wasn't until a girl vomited in disgust that Coach realized what was happening. He turned ghost white, muttered something about going to the nurse's office, and had to sit down. In the end Coach Striegel "took early retirement" at the end of the year and no lawsuit ever came of it.

Are milk sprints where you drink milk and then sprint?

Yes. Usually we had to drink two bottles of milk after practice, if we fucked around in practice or lost a game it was before our sprints

Way

>school plays gaelic football
>coach is a weird pe teacher
>he's stacked, balding with a quiet whispy voice
>he doesn't shout at you but pulls you aside, puts his arm around you and whispers in your ear about what you're doing wrong
>can't coach for shit
>team routinely gets destroyed despite being stacked with future under 21 players for the county
I fucking wish we had crazy angry coach like that

How did they become county players if they were coached badly? Sounds like he was a great coach to me.

We played for our own clubs in our parishes, and for the school in school competitions. The guys who made it to county level made it because of club coaches, not that faggot.

He's actually a running joke among club coaches, because they basically have to undo any damage he's done to their players when he's done with them.

do they even think before they open their mouth or is it just constant yelling at that high school 24/7?

The greatest pre game speech, let me set the tone....
>JV team that didn't give a shit
>Most of us had practiced with varsity over the summer and completed well
>We knew coach was a douche and hated having to coach JV so we took it on ourselves
>We literally won every game that season... For us. And coach knew it
>Coach started taking offense telling us all week how we were gonna lose or "you guys all think your shit don't stink" type of talk
>Pre game before district champions

"Those guys out there are bigger, stronger, faster and more athletic than you. None of you can match their ability.... But you guys are better coached, let's go win!"

>We demolished them, half of coaches calls we changed in the huddle.
>'team captain' snuck into the coach's toilet after the game and shat on the floor right in front of the toilet.
>Never ran so many wind sprints in my life

>went to a private hs just outside of denver and played ball
>80% of football team is white
>had great inner-city coach come in to toughen up the program
>"you couldn't catch a fuckin cold in wintertime"
>"you be handin out grabasses this practice like theys peanut butter and jelly sandwiches"
>"ya'll clownin around like a buncha goddamn bozos...and bozo didnt even like keeeds!"
>ended up making the playoffs for the first time in years thanks to him
>ends up getting fired that same year for pulling a knife on an assistant coach during an in-office argument

i miss it.

>>That time he brought in a steering wheel as a prop and yelled about how we needed to drive the team to state

>did women play high school football?

some have

Could just be regional. I grew up playing in Alaska, where football is really more of an afterthought, at least where I was, and more of a family and brotherhood atmosphere.

Moved to Texas my junior year (not for football) but still went out to play, figuring that I probably wasn't going to start but it would still be fun. Wasn't fun. This wasn't one of the extreme high powered, high prestige Texan teams, but the coaches ran it like they were gods straight out of the 50s, and the whole thing was just a hot mess. Worked us like dogs, then seemed to encourage pitting offense vs defense, and white players vs black players. Was zero fun, tired of being screamed out, tired of all the division, hardly played, team wasn't even that good, so I didn't go out for it senior year. Real disappointment.

Not him but band directors that can earn superior awards in concert competitions, and send more students to All State earn more money. Most teachers that fail at that get fired after a few years.

That guy sounds awesome

Record raw bench is barely over 700lbs and it isn't easy. You're full of shit and a chronic exaggerater.