Post your secret sex stories?

Post your secret sex stories?

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...

Every so often, I meet up with a 50 year old man and we blow eachother.

Back in my early 20s I used to strip as a way of work. One day I was hired for a hen party and didn't know who's until I arrived at the venue. I think now is important to remember that I wore a mask as part of the act. When I got there I saw my mom an her friends at this hen party. About an hour in she was licking cream from my penis and caressing my abs. I never said a word or removed my maskin and haven't mentioned it to her to this very day.

7.5/10 would stick my dick in

Offered my sister a bet.

>2 Coin flips
>if even 1 was tails I'd give her $1000
>if neither were, I'd get anal

God bless the double headed coin and the fact she was in debt.

That's hot

deliver or i will tell her

What habbened next user?

Realized the contract I writ contained bad wording, my ass hurt for a week afterwards....

>parents divorced
>live with mom
>stepdad had a huge collection of porn
>first i watched incest
>turned me on
>mom hugs me when i leave to go to school
>first time i tried to grab her ass
>boner hard as fuck
>she pushed me away and start crying after starring at me for a while
>it was fucking horror
...
5 years later
>still lives with mom because she got depression + stepfag left her
>we are only talking in the kitchen, just casual smalltalk
>ignoring each other but still caring
>my mom was...is the only person i could love
>still fapping to old incest porn from stepdad
>after cumming i feel terrible because of this stupid shit
>the guilt destroys me
mfw

user...the fuck user.

ANOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

kekke

am a virgin and hate my little penis

Well...lets change that you worthless noob

How old were you when you grabbed her ass?

>addicted to panties/lingirie
>addicted to prostitutes
>have spent over 10K on whores
>can only get off when a woman orders me to
>love being spanked/humiliated
>actively seeking a 'mommy' on dating sites with no luck

You remind me of that nigga who stabbed his eyes and lived in the woods.

250-300 per hour

10k is not that bad

how? and why am I worthless?

Femanon here

>19
>Chubby nerd, still live at home
>No relationship prospects because of shit body

like 16

>caressing my abs

This is when I knew it was bullshit

Why can't I have beautiful hair like yours? :(. Not a trap or anything like that, just wish my hair was like that

27

I rarely spend over $25, usually just go for the white crack whores wandering around Detroit

Time stamp w body and I'll decide if you have a shit body

Have try exercising and eating healthy. ...?

Yum if my 16 yo daughter grabbed my cock...

What a prude bitch. Dont sweat it. Her loss.

My first sexual experience was hotdogging my stepsister's pussy, she was 11 and I was 6.

You get what you pay for, bro. I like to not piss fire and pus the next morning.

now that's hot

What do you mean?

How old is she now? Does she hate you? Would she be down for a fuck?

No story. I just love the pic. Always makes me giggle

She's 37 and an ex con for beating up her kids. I would wrap a chain around her waist and road-haul her until there's nothing left before I'd sleep with her.

Because you are 1 of 7 Billion human...
if 1 men get ~2000$ per month , 24.000 a year x 60 years of work = 1.440.000$ x 7 bill human = 10.080.000.000$

world debts = ~60.000.000.000.000$
10.080.000.000/ 60.000.000.000.000 = 0,000168$/ 7 billion human

The worth of every individual human on earth
0,000000000000024$

I'm a year and a half younger than my sister and when I was 11 I had a huge crush on her friend and knew well enough to play up being "a kid" to sneak peeks at her when she slept over without anyone thinking it was sexual. One saturday night her and my sister were in my sisters room talking about some shit and I knew they were in nothing but large tshirts for bed so I tried to come up with some stupid kid reason to go in her room. Made up some shit about playing a board game i invented (complete nonsense I whipped up in 10 minutes). I still didn't fully have a full grip on the whole boner thing though so wasnt prepared to hide it and being almost 13 they got it immediately and giggled like bitches. I was pretty embarassed but things turned in my favor when I played up the "kid" part again and pretended like i didn't "get it." This led to my sisters friend daring me to show them. I immediately turned into a fucking negotiation master and did one of those i'll show you if you show me. So there I am with my crush and sister, all of us stark naked. With some finagling and careful to make them both feel like they were in control instead of the other way around, I managed to fuck both of them.

I...I dont like the cuts. they scare me

No more sugar, more veggies, white meat, and some exercise. Don't eat between meals, find something that makes you forget about eating, eat less for dinner.

No seriously, it's all about habits.

Hey guys...wanna know how to trigger germans?

>post this bitch

Jesus, we truly are worthless

>chubby nerd

Stop right there, that's all I need to hear. Would bang you/10

Sorry that the timestamp isn't that readable

Whiteknight here, stop degrading yourself and install tinder

>chubby

i would bang you thin...just to lose my virginity

gross

>dat resolution

your cam sucks more than you

You're too hard on yourself, I'd sleep with you.

Yeah, sorry about my shitty body.

10/10 would bang

i can't forgive you, my eyes are bleeding. but i guess you can't help yourself from being a gluttonous whale lel

Honestly, not bad. Would bang, especially if you were the same kind of nerd I am. State?

Wtf are you talking about femanon? You got a cute chubby body. I'd date and bang you. Guys in your area must be autistic

you know if you wanted you could easily change your appearence. it's all about habits.

pic of nips please

I play a lot of vidya. Mainly TF2 and the more recent bethesda games (Skyrim, Oblivion, Fallout franchise, etc.) Also a big history nerd, huge into a lot of TV shows.

Fucked a lesbian after spending hours out of my mind on MDMA with her and her girlfriend - she was a little thick, but had the best tits and she could suck your ick so hard it made your ears pop. Her girl never knew a damn thing, and it never happened again. Still friends with both, and it still makes me feel like total cunt even today. Shit was super cash though. Always take extra MDMA to a club, is the moral of this story.

To be quite honest I'd rather not have my tits plastered around the internet, ty.

The fact that you could maintain a hard on with your mom makes me uncomfortable

...

you're quite kind for not making us have to see that

Respectable femanon. What kind of nerd are you and what state? I'm in Cali, big into MTG, comics and tabletop wargaming

I've got fat tits and a pussy like a punched lasagna from shoving shampoo bottles in it. You're welcome.

I'm scottish. Vidya and TV show nerd, mostly.

Not huge on Tf2 or TV. Played the fuck out of Elder Scrolls(Skyrim, Oblivion, little Morrison's), played quite a bit of Fallout. Play any LoL?

Just fuck the guy who keeps asking you where you live. He's lonely

jesus stop using the term 'vidya'.....it makes you sound like you're 11 years old.....stop playing video games altogether....waste of time!!!!!

Used to play it a bit, not anymore.

Well, to be honest i would bang you but you are such an attention whore wtf.

"omg im so ugly, pls /b dont hurt my feelings *spontaneously period* muuhhhhh"

Nobody fucking cares about your feelings, we just want to gangrape your body and left you after 3 days straight dying on the ground.

Your death body should hanged on a lantern. i would take your skull in my hand and woud read from the bible as a ventriloquist with the voice of a draugr...knak

well that's actually making me hungry
you lil succubus

Yeah add me as someone who would RAPE you.

You're fine fam.

Somebody should save this shit...it could be important math!!!

Omg, I want to see you with a shampoo bottle in your pussy.

Let's see that wrecked pussy!

No offense but the Scots in your area are dumb to pass you off. I'm big on vidya too aside from my other hobbies. Cute body and an awesome Scottish accent, what other pluses do you have?

>in b4 lonely virgin

Show nipples!!!

show anyway

>be 36
>never actually done sex
>everyone just assumes i have if the conversation ever goes that way
>never tell them the truth
>feels bad but at least they don't know

Me and my wife use craigslist to stage home invasions. the men we hire will be given a general time frame but other than that they come whenever they want and surprise us. It happens quick where they tie us up or make us do humiliating things. If we get bisexual or gay guys to participate they'll rape me and my wife at the same time.

Kek

are u retarded lmfao there is no "world debt", just big countries with big debts and big countries with big surplus.

u cant have a world in debt if there's only one world, where the hell would our world be in debt to u fucking moron do u even basic economics

Pluses? Eh, I mean.. I'm good at cooking, I guess? I'm into traditional values, and I'm not a stuck up bitch about things. Kinky too, dunno if that's a plus, though.

Well I'm big into object insertion and fisting so it'd be fun to help gape your pussy out.

For some reason I really want to hear you talk dirty in a Scottish accent as I fuck you.

Incest is good porn but don't take it to the real world. That being said, I wouldn't mind doing my cousins.

I don't think she can talk dirty any other way than that.

Wrecking it wasn't really my goal, I just kind of started going up in sizes of things I shoved up there after I stretched it out more, really not happy with it.. So, thank you, but no thank you.

You're not wrong.

hiding a dick in there, are we?

All pluses. Why can't girls over here be like you. I'm a nerd who can't even get a gril to look at him. Forever alone is my future as of now.

this fat chick has some bad daddy issues lol

Where abouts in Scotland?

Gave random hookup the clap. She thought she gave it to me, paid for my medication, bought me a bunch of weed, felt incredibly guilty and let me do very degrading things to her. She stopped slutting around as a result and I still call her about twice a month for a session.

Something about this just tells me that you're an angry manlet.

Sounds like a keeper.

Edinburgh

I hope some day a girl takes your virginity for all the effort you put into impressing women with your comebacks man

You sir, were a smart kid.

Too damn true.