Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Hi John. I was wondering where you've been lately. I just assumed you were busy working in a phone bank for the Trump campaign.

Wow you're a loser dude! You from the Hershey Short?

This should be a thing again

Weak b8

I disagree

Fuck you man.
I bet that's all bullshit and you're just a basement dwelling faglord.
Get cucked

filthy fucking casual

...

Fuuuuuuucking new fags yuck

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

OP you are really a dumbass. First off, you assume everyone is so bad. Let me point out your flaws. First, you said you were pretty much perfect. If that were so, you wouldn't brag about it, you would be humble and not attempt to gain attention from "no-life’s who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures." Second, you said we do nothing else than look at things on Sup Forums and the internet. There again you are wrong retard. I in fact only go on Sup Forums when i have absolutely nothing else to do. I (and I assume at least several others on here) have friends. By assuming that we are all people with no lives you once again prove your idiot ways to us- you cannot grasp a concept that people with lives can also use the internet. Third, if you are trying to prove to Sup Forums that you are perfect, at least type properly. "but you all take to a whole new level." You forgot a fucking 2 letter word. Fourth, A's are not that hard to get in high school dumbass. It's not a sign of intelligence, but an ability to listen. Good job for using something that everyone can do. Go to /sci/ and get your mind raped by some actual intelligence. There you go; I just wanted to you about how wrong you really are. With all honesty, I really don't give a shit what you say only wrote this because it’s fun as hell to rant to dumbasses. Next time, go tell someone who actually cares.

PS. I saw that pic on Google images and it most definitely isn't you faggot.

...

FUCM YOU

Says the one taking his time to write all this shit. Hah! Jokes on you faggot.

Did this dumbass just take the oldest copypasta in the book

turn 360 degrees and walk away

newfags pls leave

olden Sup Forums is here thats cool

Wow OP,

Number 1 you look like you're trying to impersonate "The Situation" faggot off Jersey Shore just with a way shittier haircut. I'm sure you get fucked in the ass on a regular basis.

Number 2 as far as you're supposed "banging hot girlfriend" goes, she looks like a blow up doll with a fucking pulse, way too much makeup, fake ass tan, and you have better fucking eyebrows than she does. She's got a face like a fucking iguana. You guys kinda look alike, related perhaps?

Number 3, yes, I heard straight A's are pretty easy to get in special school. You look like the kind of kid I used to beat the shit out of for lunch money.

And lastly as far as what I do for fucking sports, I'm over here in fucking Iraq wondering why I put myself in danger everyday for a country with a bunch of assfucks like you. I bet you've never done a hard day's work in your life, you have no idea how to be a real fucking man. I wonder how it feels to go through life completely devoid of meaning. Stop going online and disparaging other people just because you're existence is so dull and meaningless, you're embarassing yourself. A shit like you wouldn't last ten minutes out here. And btw how much did cost to take a picture with your sister?

every real old fag left. This place is a shell of what is used to be

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u r a faget m8

brings me back in 2010

LMFAO, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK DUDE. YOU LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING BITCH OUT OF JERSEY SHORE. WHAT, YOU WEREN'T FUCKING GUIDO ENOUGH TO MAKE THE CUT? YOUR FAKE TAN JUST WASN'T FUCKING UP TO SNUFF? NOBODY FUCKING CARES KID. CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM?! MY FUCKING ASS LOL YOU ARE SKINNY AS SHIT AND NICE FUCKING FAKE CHAIN AND EMPTY BOTTLE OF FUCKING KID VODKA. IF YOU WERE AS HARD AND "GANGSTA" AS YOU CLAIM TO BE YOU, FIRST OF ALL, WOULDN'T BE HERE TALKING SHIT AT FUCKING 8 AM IN THE MORNING AND SECONDLY YOU'D PROBABLY BE TOO HUMBLE TO GIVE A SHIT. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT EITHER WAY. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU FUCKING TWIG FUCKS WHO WEIGH LESS THAN THE ANOREXIC WHORES THEY ASSOCIATE WITH ACTING ALL FUCKING HARD AND SHIT WHEN A SIMPLE BREEZE WOULD MAKE THEM CRUMBLE.

GO GET SOME MORE FUCKING CHILDREN'S VODKA AND FAKE BRONZER AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT ANOTHER FAKE CHAIN HOW ABOUT SOME DOG TAGS? THAT'S FUCKING GHETTO RIGHT THERE YOU GUIDO FUCKING BITCH.

AND FUCK YEAH I'M MAD PEOPLE I GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME IF I'M MAD BRO B/C I FUCKING AM AND I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF FAGGOTS LIKE THIS

FUCK YOU

u r a faget too

Yesterday I thought "my god, no one does copypasta of John anymore"... So glad to see this again. Thanks OP.

y r being faget too, faget?

lol that's The Situation from Jersey Shore

shit was cash

Wow, you really wrote out that entire reply to OP's post. Looks like you just fell for the most famous copypasta on the internet faggot. Congratulations. You get a brown star.

an hero newfig

>brown star
yay

newfag

You fucking motherfucker. Do you know what you have just said? DO YOU?!?

I do. I know what you have just said, and I don't like it. I don't like it one fucking bit, asshole. You think you can fucking say that and get away with it? Yeah, I bet you do. Well, guess what, jackass. I have your IP address. Yeah, that's right. I'm tracing your location as I type this. When I find where you live, you fat faggot, I'm going to come to your house, rip your mailbox out of the ground, and shove it up your big fat ass. But that's not all I'll do, oh no. That's just the start. That's just the tip of the fucking iceberg of things that I will shove up your ass. Expect things like my foot, your head, a dragon dildo, high explosives, crossbow bolts, and more to have penetrated your anus by the time I'm done with you.

All you had to do was keep your stupid ass post to yourself, and not post it, but noooooooo, you just couldn't let it go. You had to hit the "submit" button and, well, buddy, your moronic actions will catch up with you.

Oh look, I just found your address. See ya, punk.

You do realise that his reply was also a copypasta, you fucking dip?

lurk moar

people who looks like this... omfg..

Hey guys,

My name is Jenna, and I'm asking every single one of you to help me. My boyfriend is this skinny, greasy-haired guido who spends every second of his day looking at his stupid ass hair. He is everything bad with today's youth. Honestly, do all men brag about having fucked their "bitches" last night? I mean, I guess it's because of peer pressure and trying to be accepted, but he takes it to a whole new level. This is even worse than drinking beer all day and listening to Heavy Metal.

Don't ignore me. Please, help me. I'm pretty much desperate. I was a regular at the literature club, and vice-president of the science club. I also had a thing for classical music? I used to get straight A's, that is, before I met him (He just made me blow him; Shit was SO gross). He's a faggot, and I want to kill him. Please help me!

Pic Related: It's me.

There you are my little twin sun-dried oranges!

Grew up bouncing couch to couch or living in KOA campgrounds.
Now: 3 kids, an MBA, 6 digit income and oversee 160+ people that save the lives of sorry-asses like you every day!

Straight A student eh? Bitch please - hit me up when your nuts have dropped (if that fake tanned leather tight skin doesn't hold them up) and you've figured out what real life is about.
And who says "...so cash" ??? What are you? 12?

>fat
Indeed I am

>retarded
That's an insult to mentally retarded people; I'm almost braindead.

>no-lifes
That's right - I'm also bodily dead.

>spend every second of their day
I'm bodily dead because of starvation from sitting in front of a computer all day, that means I am not fat but in fact anorexic.

>you are everything bad in the world
Yes I am every mass-genocide, ethnic cleanse and torture that has ever occurred, yet I manage to peacefully sit at my desk withering away from my incredibly short lifespan while simultaneously being malevolent.

>Honestly, have you ever got any pussy?
I have never owned a cat.

>I guess it's dun making fun of people because of your own insecurities
I wouldn't know that

>This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Facebook
I agree that it is; looking at images on an image board without necessarily masturbating to it is worse than unconditionally masturbating to a website whose sole intent is to obstruct and remove anonymity so that everyone knows every angstrom of what you do.

copypasta

the new

Hey dudes,

My name is Jack, and I like every single one of you. All of you are cool, witty, funny guys who spend your free time of their day looking at funny pictures and macros. You are the sense of humor that lacks in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any hate mail? I mean, I’m sure it’s fun making fun of people because you are so witty, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even more awesome than stand up comedy.

Don’t be a stranger. Just laugh with me too. I’m pretty cool. I was editor of my school newspaper and started my own detective agency. What funny activities do you do, other than “having fun to awesome drawn Japanese anime”? I also live with my mother and have a modest friend who is a girl. (She just taught me calculus; Stuff was SO complicated) You are all awesome who should gather at a big party. Thank you for listening to me.

Pic Related: It’s me and my female friend.

great...roast attempts by autimus prime with his weebo pillow and pringles

Lol'd

Hey faggots. Its the real JOHN - well for real my name is Joey, it seems like youre even too retarded to see the difference.

It seems like you keep reposting my image the whole time, you're even editing my text and photo. Do you think I care? Youre just miserable - it's just like I said. By doing this you try to hide your own problems. Fuckin HUGE problems

Well, my life keeps getting better and better. I just dropped my bitch: shes just a whore who slept with my best friend (well, I still wouldnt kick her out of bed for eating crackers). Also I keep BIG PIMPIN, just got a new fuckin spendy car (a porsche) and changed my style - calling it BLUE STEEL. And you? I guess the best thing you did in the last month was masturbatin to some drawn animal sex or sick shit like that; well Ill meet two girls tonight and plan to get off with both of them.

So, do the world a favor and kill yourself before youll rape a person for real. You make me sick.

Pic related: its me and my car

What I've been up to ?
Winning the Olympics in rowing, german heavy 4 men boat

ha

You think your funny? Real funny faggots. you think this is a joke?

yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. I'm tired of getting dogged on by you faggots all the time whenever i respond to anything or any thread. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is.? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT. Pic related: I'm on the african american on the right. Don't fuck w/ me.

nice filename newfag

Hey mourners,

His name was John, and he was loved by every single one of you. He thought dearly of you Anonymous, spending every second to try and steer you away from what he thought were bad life choices. He thought what he was doing was everything right in the world. Honestly, he was so deeply rooted in his beliefs. I mean, now that he's gone, so are his insecurities, and at least his soul is at a whole new level. To his family, his loss is the worst thing that could happen. Please, mourners of Sup Forums, don't be a stranger. Speak up about your favorite memories with John. He is now in perfection, looking down on all. He was captain of the football team, and starter on his basketball team. He knew he was faster and tougher than a lot of people, and wasn't afraid to say it. He got straight A's, and had a beautiful girl at his side (he was going to propose next week, shit would have been so cash). You are all welcome to mourn at his casket. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: This is John in Australia; where the passanger seat is on the left, and the cars are down under.

In memory, John. You will be missed.

Do not read what's below in this particular divider; do not read this post at all, as it is a waste of your valuable neurotypical time.

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>great...roast attempts by autimus prime with his weebo pillow and pringles

Who's Autimus Prime? All I ate today was Marmite (you may not have Marmite in your country; it is the extract from yeast cells with dead membranes and is mixed with salt and other commodities) and peanut butter on toast
For lunch I cooked myself lentils, linguini and peppers in a bijou saucepan and macerated all of that, which is why I'm currently fat. My pillow is red, with sienna and grey patches on it. Sometimes when my back is aching: I pick it up and put it behind me whilst on my computer chair to soothe the stress, which is in direct opposition to the recommendations of some chiropractors. I sit at an auburn-coloured desk and type messages to people through a wireless internet connection via a red laptop whilst a red lamp posts a strange crimson glow, and I wonder if I should be drilling forms for the /ic/ /beg/ thread tomorrow, or whether I should go to sleep as I'm too indolent and fat to do that. I still keep very Cubist artworks on the top of my wardrobe next to me that I made when I was about thirteen. There is an oil painting by S.Miller (an erroneous pen-name) behind the laptop, which I fret I cannot shift to a place that I can look at it.

People have described me as overly verbose, autistic, whiny, unclear and stupid, and I agree. But I also think that if the world was constructed solely out of neurotypicals: we would all be dead now.

Everyone would want to forfil the same naturalised desires, there'd be no one to spit upon, and existence would be more stark, disinteresting and thus would generate a need for more competition.

Here is why competition isn't necessarily healthy: it is essentially the most condensed and safe method to corrode human flourishing, due to the expenditure of brain or muscle tissue.

It's literally a waste of your time. There's no insight into any subject whatsoever. Good job, autist.

...

You want to shoot me in the face?

You think you are all fucking funny, don't you? Don't answer that, dickwads, I was being rhetorical. You are all super hot dudes with even hotter womens.

I've seen the "John" thread, and it's fucking hilarious. John is dead. What's wrong? He was a guido douchebag trying to fight the internets. It's not so funny now, is it? How about this for a 'LOL': I'm coming to kick each and every one of your asses. Yeah, go change your underwear, pussies. I know people who are hacking experts; they will get every single IP logged on this pathetic site. You are in for hot buttsecks, degenerates. I'll fuck your ass when you least expect it. I know you are all awesome; but don't expect me to show mercy.

Image shows me on the left; just a head start in case you need a blowjob.

I'm very sorry; I forgot to ask how you were doing

Do you often have these kind of thoughts? Do they ever progress further from a hypothetical level or is there an Archimedean lever you can use to avert these destructive thoughts?

ca$h m0ney

I'm trying to kill this thread with Autist cringe. If you do discover any way of averting genocidal tendency: please tell me, as I'd like to improve my compassion rather than sever any of the bonds I already had

Hey Crackers, I am asian, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, white boys who spend every second of their day disrespecting woman. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten good grades? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your superior PENISes, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than saying black people have bigger dicks.

Don't be a white retard. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the chess team, and starter on my debate team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to asian people"? (White bitches are obviously superior.) I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot white girlfriend (She just blew my tiny penis; Shit was SO yen). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch.