Took a shit last night

>Took a shit last night
>Felt normal beforehand, shit yesterday so nothing was out of the ordinary
>Asshole immediately felt like it was being torn apart once the shit began
>Felt like I was trying to shit out a rock
>After 10 minutes of pushing and profuse sweating the shit finally slid it's way out of my ass
>Peeked between my legs to get a look at the brown monster I had just given birth to
>Most of it had snaked down the toilet pipe but the head was looking at me
>Felt an overwhelming urge to investigate further
>I had to feel it for myself. I had to feel the weight of my shit, feel the solidity, I had to investigate the shit from every angle
>Knelt down in front of the toilet
>Hesitated for a moment because it's fucking gross
>Reached in and picked up my shit
>Pulled it back out from the pipes carefully with both hands as if I was pulling a rope
>It was the biggest shit I have ever seen
>Over a foot long
>Thick as fuck
>The end that came out of my ass first was fucking rock hard and the rest was soft
>Started breaking the shit apart with my hands, it was a good consistency
>Realised I'm holding a shit in my hands for the first time ever
>Get another overwhelming urge of curiosity
>Bring the shit to my mouth slowly with my tongue sticking out
>Taste the shit
>Fucking disgusting
>Realise what the fuck I'm doing
>Drop the shit back into the toilet
>Take a shower
>Brush teeth and rinse with listerine repeatedly for 10 minutes
>Overwhelming regret seeps into every part of my brain
>Realise during my shower that my asshole was bleeding all over the place from the girth of the shit

Have you ever done anything you've regretted Sup Forums? Have you ever taken a shit you were so proud of that you just couldn't bring yourself to give it away to the toilet gods?

Pic not my shit but very close in size. Mine was actually longer. My asshole still hurts the next day.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/DHMOwc1H8pQ
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

what did it taste like

...

That was a black cock coming out from your toilet and going to trough your ass

Shit. In the heat of the moment I thought it wouldn't be that bad but it was fucking gross. Tasted just like it smelled.

I also couldn't get the smell out of my hands. I've washed with every type of soap I can find and there's still a trace of it in my palms.

The shame is so strong.

This Is a good thread

I wish, cocks are fleshy and soft. This shit was literally as hard as a fucking rock and it was maximum thickness from the start, I had no way to ease my asshole into the girth. It was like trying to ram the end of a baseball bat up your ass with no lube.

Are you being sarcastic? I mean I guess this is better than the 300 "post nudes youre not meant to have ecks dee" threads

This thread actually gave me a boner. What does that mean?

...

OP already said it wasn't his shit in the picture.
What are you trying to prove?

read the fucking post
>Pic not my shit but very close in size.

i apologize i should have read ops post more carefully. but the first image of the search is still quite funny

youtu.be/DHMOwc1H8pQ

OP here this is basically the size of my shit

Damn, i didn't even look at the first pic in the results until you mentioned it.
That shit is pure gold.

>Realised I'm holding a shit in my hands for the first time ever
>Get another overwhelming urge of curiosity
>Bring the shit to my mouth slowly with my tongue sticking out
>Taste the shit
You fucked up, kid

The first pic kek

what the fuck

...

it hurt so bad man

My wife had a huge belly for nine months i thought she was pregnant.. turns out her anus was just clogged.. she took the biggest shit i ever saw. pic related

>Picks up shit and tastes shit. Instantly regrets it.

Have fun with your new compulsive disorders.

Compulsive hand washing.
Compulsive teeth brushing.

What about compulsive shit tasting?

how many courics do you think it weighs?

Lay that bad boy on your front lawn to show the world who's in charge

Come on faggots I wanna hear your toilet stories too

hearty kek

What a fucking shitty thread.

Ah. OP starts paying whores to take shits so he can have a meal.

Or

OP starts handing out blumpkins like government checks to niggers.

I think I am impressed.

Hey look reincarnation is real! It's Trayvon Martin!

Thanks for sharing that story, OP. I had a similar experience a few years back. I was traveling through AZ when I felt I had to take a dump. I pulled into truck stop and headed to the bathroom. When I plopped my ass down on the toilet, I thought that everything was going to be routine, just a regular bowel movement, no big deal....I was wrong. It felt like I was shitting out a tree branch. That was the driest and most firm turd I have ever seen. I was sweating profusely, I swore, I even prayed at one point, because once it was a couple of inches out, there was no going back. About an hour later, I finally hit the half-way mark on that huge sucker and the rest just slid right on out. I was relieved, but shocked when I stood up, turned around to assess the damage, then saw what looked like a black guy's arm making a black power salute with his fist. That turd was sticking proudly out of the water. The worst part is, this was a single bathroom, so as soon as I finished, I realized that there was no fucking way that thing could be flushed. I opened the door, saw the faces of a few people who were upset over waiting so long. I left as quickly as possible, and to this day, I still wonder what kind of look the next guy in line had on his face once he saw that turd. My ass hurt for a couple of days afterwards...