Please help me to find something in my house that I could use as a dildo

Please help me to find something in my house that I could use as a dildo.

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Livestream yourself walking through your house.
I don't know what you own, man.

Dude, do you have a wrench?

ping pong paddle

Hairbrush handle.

Handle to the toilet brush

Soda can, wine bottle, pickle jar, eggs, cucumbers, a vhs cassette

Keyboard

Door knob or handle

Knife handle?

Power cable

Little sister

Craigslist.com

300 Blu-ray dvd case

I have that dildo in black. And I love when it fucks my ass.

Roll of duct tape

A glass jar

Foxtel remote

Safety scissors

Nerf darts

Shoe

>get lots of toilet paper
>crush it all into penis shape
>wet it and crush more, make sure its about 9inches
>wrap it with a bit of bandages or whatever so pieces dont fall off
>wrap all with duct tape
>put condom on and tie condom on other side so it wont fall off

I was about to post the same. Used it on a girl friend once in a bind. She brought over a flute the following week.

Tom Brady's Mouth Guard

Soldering iron

Use a cucumber if you have one, a banana also
works. just remember to use a rubber. If you have
a hair brush that would work.

An AR-15. You should have one to defend your home, your family and your country.

>VHS cassette

Kek

this

ive done similar shit
its pretty reliable

How about take it in a different direction and go bumper to bumper with a warm hot pocket.

Spatula

Aubergine

>Turn on the stove
>Wait for it to get red hot
>Tighten a belt around your ankle
>Cut hard and fast with a cleaver
>Press the stump onto stove
>Hold for up to 20 seconds

Once its healed you should be able to ride your own stump like a dildo if you sit a certain way and do your stretches. Good luck OP.

Electric toothbrush

This is a good one, most people have them. I say
he just makes a dildo with socks, and a condom
Ive done that before, you just need a base and always put a sock over what you wrapped. THEN
use a couple rubbers.

Sounds...hot

Shake weight

plumber
cucumber
Hairbrush (handle obv)
and definatly the best thing i´ve tried is fishing lures, jigs. to be precise its Der Snabel.

Try a dildo!

Actually this gave me a pretty good idea

It's Halloween OP. Just go to a store that sells halloween shit and buy a severed rubber leg or hand. Shouldn't be too hard to fashion it into a dildo.

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French horn

Stick the handle of a dirty mop into a fun noodle

a carrot will do the job, just wash it with water and soap, and use lube.

Lubed up dog leg. Woof!

The reservoir of water gun

my self i use a butterfly knife and sometimes a chair leg

Wet vac cleaning accessory

So I have to use the handle of the hairbrush? I didn't know that :S

A sharpie or something like that?

Try a steak knife

Maglite Torch

DIE FAGGOT

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Go to the shops, find the biggest looking courgette or cucumber you think you could manage, and also a smaller one. Buy some lube. Give a big cheesy grin to the checkout assistant as you buy this stuff.

Then go home and enjoy. Bonus: biodegradable.

Personally I get really turned on by being force fucked with something too big for me.

exactly. you have to.

LOL

>eggs

an empty soap bottle, not the end with the cork/opening. fill with water before using

...

Does anyone know any home made alternatives to an enema?

Good old Korean Color

steak knife

Use soap and hot water

roll up an aluminium foil sausage and shape it like a dick

couldn't you just go buy a dildo?

...

cheers

Just use a halloween disguise and go buy a dildo

Been done and we all know how that turned out. It's obviously the best suggestion here.

>no betamax

Tried and true

These also

and these

...

toilet plunger handle, appropriately shaped candle

Cucumber, screwdraber, the handle on a plunger, various things to put up your ass.

...

My new fav though

Lazerdisk

Dont EVER use ANYTHING glass!!

Did you know that a cucumber is a gourd?

Frozen turd in a condom
Only good answer

>300 Blu-ray dvd case

this is not a thing

take pencil or some kind of stick for a core. wrap a mouse pad around it tightly you can do it evenly or slightly offset it to get it to taper duct tape the whole thing wrap it in saran wrap you can pack tissue or cotton at the tip to get a more rounded head before you wrap it

Good idea, should also ask them if they happen to have a penis like that.

I will be incorporating one of these soon

buy a dildo for 8 bucks on amazon you dumb fuck

She knows .. and I bet your gf does too

Anythings a dildo if you're brave enough. Get creative.

did some of you faggots watched the Patriots game yesterday?

Silicone caulk thinned with a little of either acetone/mineral spirits/naphtha/or paint thinner will make a dip coating for candles, wrenches, tube socks, spatula handle, dog grooming Shedding tool, small toy you want to make bigger, electric toothbrush.

If you can hide something that smells like vinegar in an open barrel, you can make your own toys using this recipie. You have to wait several hours or a fat between coats, but the result is a Very smooth, washable, sanitary surface. You can always add more to its length or thickness later. Protip: use disposable plastic bowls to mix the two ingredients, use a clean but disposable glass jar with lid to keep any leftovers, adding a light splash of the solvent on top to stop it from curing, and screw down the lid well.

One can also use just the caulk gun to extrude beads of caulk onto a disposable wax paper substrate, and braid the cures beads together to make a thick cable. You can then dip the braided cable and form a smooth surface after successive dips.

Your dick, just bend it around bro.