Things you can say about your truck but not your girlfriend

Things you can say about your truck but not your girlfriend

I'm happy this is black.

Don't mind the dent, i drove it hard

Just ignore the tears inside

It's actually my dad's but he lets me use it

I didnt know it had a stick shift!

The money I use on this isn't wasted

I don't mind the gaping holes.

Its a real guzzler

I only used it for a little bit I swear

it could go all day without stopping

the air conditioner is broken

I have one

It exists

Only one owner

This is my truck

I like to see nuts hanging from mine.

It burns rubber all night

I'm happy you're with me

I don't have either

I have a truck.

Don't you dare get a scratch on it.

i don't have one

She's very useful and helps me a lot.

I can fit 20 wetbacks in the back

Just put it in the back.

Sorry about the smell

You can fit three in the back!

my truck NEVER wants to create a fight out of nothing.

It was awful when the old girl blew a tranny

im the only one who ever drive it

This one is useless, luckily I have a spare.

Ill let you ride it

She sure does leak a lot

we can take turns riding her.

+1

She runs.

That's not the first belt she's busted

I fuck it from time to time

It's useful

3 more payments and she's mine.

I love my truck

Yeah, you can fit two in the front and three in a back, no problem

She sure gets a lot of shit in her grill

There it blows

My truck doesnt scream when i start pumping gas into it

Kek
I wish my girl ran too user

She's ugly and pretty big and heavy, but she sure can take a beating.

I fill er up once a week

Hang on she's not balanced

You can borrow it

Its loud and annoying

Kek

...

i don't think you understands how this works...

Let me check underneath, i think i smell a dead cat

the mid pipe on my truck separated, so now its straight piped, its pretty loud and annoying

I bet that ain't the only thing loud and annoying amirite?

...

made me laugh

it gives good head

There's no replacement for displacement...

Its gotten me laid a few times

I fuck this

I can fit five people in there.

You, sir, win the internets tonight!

i hit two raccoons last night with her.

Things you can say to your dog but not your girlfriend

I can haul anything, I just tell it to

Lick this peanut butter off my balls

I can always figure out why it's not working properly

Sometimes my dog climbs up on here and gets in the back. She can take a lot of stress man. I'm really proud of her.
>my girl friend cucks my dog.

Come

Who shit on the carpet?!

She's hard to get going in the morning, but worth it.

I fuck this

you're so obedient and loyal, don't ever leave me

It looked better in the pictures :-/

It weighs less than 1000 kg

Wanna go for a long walk down a short road?

Can't fix that

Damn fam...

If she breaks down, just fiddle about with the hood

that's a nice bitch.

well arent you a bitch

"Well, she's got low mileage". I'll take her!

You're so nice to me!

Don't sniff his ass!

I love you

U fuk so gud

I dont rape my truck

Quit dragging your ass on the rug!

we can take turns fucking her

You always come back because you love me

i'll never regret the day i bought you

Get off the mailman

My truck was stolen by a nigger. Oh wait.

You fucking whore bitch!
Just for that I'm selling your children off to strangers.

She don't need that right now, she good

Get off the bed you smelly peice of shit!