What's one life lesson that you learned the hard way

What's one life lesson that you learned the hard way

Niggers gonna nig

Not to smoke spice/k2

I can never leave Sup Forums

it's hard to succeed

dont put ur dick in crazy even if there's a ffm 3way thats possible cuz thats a double dose of crazy

If you have a crush on a girl, tell her as soon as possible so you dont waste your life with "what ifs"

Black people are so easy to manipulate judging by the ampunt of them who support hillary

>Be me, 2 years ago, 26y/o
>Have had intestinal issues for entire life
>Either constipated or explosive shits
>Be constipated for abnormally long time
>11 days
>Feeling sick
>Stomach distended
>Laxatives do nothing
>Decide to man up
>Sit on throne
>Spread the cheeks
>Press as hard as humanly possible
>Feel pain in my spine and hips
>Start hearing little pops and fizzes in my head and in my gut
>Feel something tear
>Ass gets extremely warm
>Hear a solid thud followed by the worst sounds to ever leave an anus
>Literally watch my abdomen shrink in size
>Let out a long, loose fart
>Something burns
>Stand up to admire the work and wipe
>Leg feels warm now
>Look down, blood fucking everywhere
>I literally tore my ass open
>Wad up a shitload of TP in my ass
>TP for my damaged bunghole
>Flush, it wont go down
>Had to scoop it by hand into the garbage

If youre going to suck a log of shit out of andy sixxs ass hole, make sure he's sedated.

I managed to suck the log out but holy fuck Andy puts up a fight

Don't go into a relationship thinking you could change a person.

that /b never changes from shit hole

What did you learn?

Be the best you can be.

I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the Black Veil Brides Army and I didn't get to be of such a rank from sitting on my ass and not trying my best at everything.

Hope is not an illusion, it's real.

When my mother didn't get me the iPhone 5 for my birthday, I became suicidal and cutted myself and uploaded pics of my bloodied arm onto social media like Facebook and Instagram but then one day, I heard the voice of Andy Sixx and realized that if I was dead, I wouldn't be alive to suck a log of shit out of his asshole.

Hope that one day I'll have andy's warm log slidding down my throat, drives me to live on.

Let hope inspire you.

Cont

>Scoop out the hard ass plug
>Throw it in garbage
>Looked like brown concrete patch with coffee grounds in it
>Check ass tampon
>Fucking bled straight through
>Ass hurts like hell, burning
>In a desperate move, grab towel and hammer out some aloe lotion all over it
>Jam lotion towel into ass cavity
>Clench the cheeks
>Happen to look in mirror
>Eyes are bloodshot and there are spidered out red blood vessels all over my face
>Also noticed bruising in the kidney area
>Splash water on face
>Give it some time
>Check ass towel
>Looks like the cover of a Metallica album
>Blood, shit, lotion
>Decide to jump in the shower and stomp what's left down the drain
>Stand there, watching blood circle around on the floor

FFW 2 hrs

>Wife gets home
>Goes to use bathroom
>Screams
>Yells at me for not cleaning the bathroom and that I have to go to the ER
>Apparently I bled out way more than I thought

Lesson learned
If you are constipated as fuck, press it out, and tear open your asshole, clean up the mess or your wife will bitch at you

Don't be an alcoholic.

If you dress like an asshole people will tread you like an asshole.

White Woman are cock craving prostitutes NEVER marry one.

Everybody have a price.

Never isolate yourself its painfull.

SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.

Read motherfucker READ.

Avoid credit cards.

Avoid alcohol like AIDS.

Work work work and learn learn leanr.

Being stupid is a matter of death.

Mary Jane will fuck your brain.

Homosexuality is actually a mental illness but don't have an opinion on it.

Save money.

Avoid luxury.

Kek

Dont spend more than $1,500 on a credit card you steal

All of my friends are autistic faggots who live double lives
>wake me up
>wake me up inside
>my sisters don't care about our family and constantly put us in debt and legal issues and have the gall to say the love us

you got it wrong user. put your dick in crazy but don't put a ring on crazy

The same thing happened with my lover when I was sucking a log of shit out of his asshole

and as an extra, don't go into one thinking that person won't change either

Some people just dont wnt to be saved, user. I feels

your parents love you but sometimes they will kick your ass out the fucking house
>src
>me

>dont drink
>dont smoke weed

I bet youre a lot of fun at parties


Also, dont trust women. Not even once

never watch my little pony

Don't get married

Don't cash a check for someone and then withdraw the money you deposited and give it to that guy

Why not?

That life doesn't owe me anything. No sense in feeling that I deserve more, and that if I want more I need to make it happen for myself.

how much did you lose user?

what about the old times when you got people interested by your social skills instead of reling in drugs and alcohol?

>don't break laws
>try to stay alive
>forcing yourself to do shit you don't like never works out

I'm ashamed but I laughed at this

Dont suck a guy's testicles out through his penis. They will not go back in without surgery

People say "I love you, forever" and even the ones who really want to mean it can be wrong

Dont fuck a girl so hard that your dick pokes the wrong part of her brain and causes her to forget how to do math.

That's a regret i hold with me dearly

people have been using drugs and alcohol for a fucking long time, buddy

This

I've learned a few.

-Plan your electronics setup before spending money. Whether your phone, tablet, or PC, whatever. Research and buy what'll work for you. Otherwise shit gets expensive and you still aren't fucking happy. Don't be a nigger.

-Don't stick your dick in crazy, especially when crazy isn't a 10/10. It's not worth it.

-Dating bitches is expensive and generally not worth it.

-Living like Frank N. Furter comes at a price, but it's usually worth it. Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.

I said I love you forever to a girl once. That was 19 years ago, I still love her.

Dont use a log of shit as a dildo to fuck your girlfriend's pussy with when youre on heart medication and cant fuck her. It will not work like one. Trust me

Your children will grow to betray the things you think are important.

Always check to make sure youre home alone before you masturbate.

...

Testing to see if banned still

Dont store super glue next to your sex lube in your dresser drawer

Reminds me of the Jack White lyrics

"And when they tell you that they just can't live without you
They ain't lyin', they'll take pieces of you
And they'll stand above you and walk away
That's right and take a part of you with them"

should have never visit Sup Forums

you cant make someone love you

and that you should try drugs and take risks because were all gonna die eventually anyway might aswell experience good things

Don't. Fucking. Settle. Down. With. A. Woman.
Theyll drain you dry of money and a soul.

it's best to have interesting skills and also drink/smoke. just don't abuse them or become addicted

Experiences are worth more than an object

Beauty is deceiving.

The prettiest, sweetest girls can be monsters on the inside

You can only go all in on a relationship once. No matter how it ends, there's always a piece you don't get out with

its really cliche but dont trust anyone. When youre in your teens young and naive youre probably going to break that rule but youll find out eventually you really cant trust anyone

You're good

Andy's warm log of shit is actually only lukewarm

>God sells all things at the price of labor

>Meth leaves you empty and alone.
>Success is a tough gig and comes at a cost.
>Most of the time, you get what you deserve.
>Avoid romance of any sort with the mentally unstable
>How hard you try doesn't mean shit, only the result.

If life was a video game being ugly is the buggy alpha version and being pretty and smart is the collectors edition with all 5 DLCs

This

$200, almost broke now

she broke up with you.
That ha's nothing to do with prettie, ugly girls do this too. You life lesson sucks monkey balls.

Hanging yourself with a scarf isnt something to choke about

Please stop this is getting worse than the banana

Never put a rat into an aquarium with five scorpions.

At least the fuzzy embrace of death is better than rope

Anways wash down andy sixx's warm log of shit with a load of sperm

Don't fall in love on Reality television...

Dont have stupid shit stored on your phone :/

NOOOO is that KKK? When did this happen? i missed it!

No matter how hard you try, sometimes you'll never achieve what you want

Taking a dick up the ass from you angry drunken father is REALLY painful

Fuck you.

Don't be to nice to strangers. Someone is always out to get you

Always take andy sixx's warm log with a grain of salt

Has anyone managed to get nudes on #girls?

>Dont keep shitty people in your life for all the years you could be making progress shit people hold you back

>Sometimes it really isn't your fault, some people you meet really do just suck

>The evilest people get ahead in life because "good" now means being a complete pansy

>Trauma bonding is a very real thing that you can use to your advantage if you know what your doing

Loneliness is not the worst thing that can happen to you. And I guarantee you'll date or fuck someone who is worse than loneliness if you don't recognize the possibility.

Agree
I have regretted speaking to 98% of strangers i've met in the past six months.

All I've come arcoss are lesbians and people who want to steal from me. No sex for me

That if you enforce in your children that they are smart early they will be unprepared once anything gets hard and give up.

Trips confirm, shit relationships will make you wish you never met a girl

Bump for interest

If you get pulled over for a DUI don't do the field sobriety tests. Apparently, you can legally refuse.

i winced so fucking hard
you ever get a diagnosis for that shit?

Had a huge shit yesterday, diameter 2-3 inches. Took me 2 hours to shit and unclog the bowl. Next time I will drink at least two bottles of water instead only coke

The sooner you stop caring what strangers think about you the better off you'll be.

Just because you both want each other doesnt mean you can be together. AKA cant always get what you want.

If you do iv drugs you might spend 3.5 months in the hospital,have two open heart surgeries, and 2 heart valves replaced and one repaired

You can never win with people.

you can only fix something so many times

Never trust a faggot like op

amazing, top kek

i was gonna agree 100% but i love weed

>Success is a tough gig and comes at a cost.

Something I'm learning more everyday

You just said the same thing but worded differently.