Hello denizens of this page. I am a time travelling historian in training...

Hello denizens of this page. I am a time travelling historian in training. I originate in the 26'th Century; 2787 more precisely.

It is my role as a historian to question citizens of the past so that I may ascertain intelligence, psychology and belief at the time of humanity's greatest changes/ challenges.

Yesterday I travelled to England in the mid 20'th century to question survivors of Nazi German bombings. In the image is a newspaper I picked up.

Please go ahead and ask me anything. I will do my best to answer.

Is this working? I'm not sure of the rules pertaining to internet communication of this era.

My information appears to have been innacurate on the popularity of this digital place. I will relocate to another time zone.

The 2700s are the 28th century. This post is gay as fuck, OP.

I apologize if my attempted vernacular does not conform to your expectations. I am trying, but obviously it is not as effective as I had thought.

Using big words doesnt mean youre from the future

You must be pretty trustworthy to be allowed a machine that could potentially wreck space-time. How'd you get it?

I am relying on your skepticism to preserve the events as they should unfold.

/thread

how much longer do I have till I finally kill myself

Temporal folding is a fairly common tool of science in my time.

I cannot speak on an individual basis, historical records are not completely granulated to a citizenry level.

It was obviously fake to begin with, but this statement really puts the nail in the coffin.

is trump or clinton president ?

is this oc or copypasta anyway timestamp on this shit
my question is could you tell me if star citizen is gonn be worth buying ?
also how good are vr games in the future?

1) How much has language deviated during those 700 years - about as much as middle high german from present day (past day for you) german? Can you give us an example of what would be a normal sentence in your time?

2) Will Donald Trump win the 2016 election?

3) What is the average penis length in your time?

Why do my spaghetti-0s keep making lightning?

By 'trump' and 'clinton' I assume you're referring to the United States of America. In this time Barack Obama is the President. Records indicate Hillary Clinton succeeds him.

OP, what is the average IQ in the future

There are not many characters on this device which can present a good representation of my own language, I apologize.

Do we have any hope left?

What is "IQ"? Sorry but I'm unaware of the context of these characters.

An intelligence quotient (IQ) is a total score derived from one of several standardized tests designed to assess human intelligence.
nigga, you dumb as fuck.. use wiki

I have come here as this is an important historical tipping point. After the war, political opacity became immoral. Government without secrets.

We no longer gauge our species on the comparison of knowledge between an individual and another individual. Self enrichment is unbiased.

>travels 800 years into the past
>knows how to speak English coherently

if I went back to 1245 and tried to carry on a conversation, I'd be hung for being a witch

I mean, this is obvious bullshit, but you gotta do a better job of selling it

fake and gay

I am filtering the content of this page and my responses through a translation system on my pod. The more my words match your words, the more skeptical you will be and the less alteration I will make to the timeline.

Why do all you time travelling niggers come to Sup Forums? Go bother someone useful.

...

The content in this digital place is short-lived and unfiltered.

what happened to Microsoft?

>>my role as a historian to question citizens of the past
>>ask me anything
Really?

so you're sayin' that google translate is that good in the future?

i was just thinking this

After 2022, Microsoft Corporation dedicated itself to the philanthropic smuggling of Orphans from the New Soviet Union to the European Union. They closed soon after, when their CEOs were accused of treason for unsanctioned entry into Russian controlled territories.

is gender a social construct ?

Sexual gender is a bi-parallel evolutionary union to produce offspring.

>After 2022
>European Union
well, now that's a bullshit. fuck off

hey timenigger, what happened to google?

On the contrary, my records indicate the unification of European nations became concrete after the New Soviet Union engaged a pre-emptive nuclear strike on Ancient Berlin. It began what became a global effort to unite as a species, an effort still underway in my time.

My records show that an Alphabet Incorporated absorbed a technology company named Google in 2019 in an effort to consolidate its material holdings to the United States during a period of heavy Russian aggression. This included destroying farms of servers, disconnecting Google's services from the rest of the world.

>26th century
>2787

What ever happened to my Great Uncle, Ferdinand Aslaug Palm? He was a pilot for the German army in the Second World War, and was shot down by the Russians.
Did he ever survive?

You're a shit historian. That date is not in the century you said. GTFO histo-nigger

I appreciate that your skepticism is apparent. It means that my attempts to not affect the timeline is effective.

I cannot comment on an individual basis. Like I have stated already, my records are not that granular.

Do we get to Mars?
Do we ever find some space niggers?
Peace time-faggot

What is the average lifespan in that century?

The construction of Martian colonial vessels was halted in 2021 after Russia invaded some Eastern European nations. The launch of the vehicles would have been indistinguishable from a missile launch. Construction continued in 2053, however the craft at this point were unstable and exploded on launch.

The failure launched an explosion of scientific endeavour.

Mankind eventually reached Mars in 2068.

The colonial failure is a well documented detail of the Red War.

Human lifespan is now only a concept understood by those that study the past. We have long since engineered out the inaccuracies in our biological base.

Was it Berenstain bears or Berenstein bears?

My records convey a reference to Berenstains Beards. Am I right in translating that they are literary item said to have been coveted by children?

Considering that this is the kind of shit people were writing back then, I'd say you're right:

Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum;
Si þin nama gehalgod
to becume þin rice
gewurþe ðin willa
on eorðan swa swa on heofonum.
urne gedæghwamlican hlaf syle us todæg
and forgyf us ure
swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum
and ne gelæd þu us on costnunge
ac alys us of yfele soþlice

Historical references to these words is exceedingly common, though I cannot discern the source of their literary base.

Upon further research, I am seeing here that some of my time's scholars believe these to be the words of an ancient poem.

My time is running low here. I can answer one more before I have to leave. My next stop is 2021.

OP will there ever be an artist as good as Kurt cobain or anything like him?