Be me

>be me
>about 2 months ago
>move into college
>meet my roommate for the first time
>still day one, but our parents have left
>this nigga has 2 phones
>ask why
>ones for porn
>he then tells me he watches hentai
>he never wears pants
>EVER.
I got quite a few weird stories if anyone wants to hear them.
For reference, my college has separate bedrooms but we share a common room and a bathroom
Also, pic unrelated

enlighten me

Self bump

op is a fag

Share your experiences

dont believe you faggot. spy pics of roomate or delete thread

Lets hear it fag

>bio major, make friends with another
>she needs a textbook, doesn't have one yet
>comes up to my room to borrow it
>i leave my door open cuz why not
>were standing there talking
>enter roommate
>only in boxers
>starts talking to us
>this is like day 3 of move in
>then he goes
>"you have a girl in your room, good job" and claps

I'm good bud, thanks tho
He also will randomly walk out into the hall in only his boxers, a lot. In our Comp 1 class, all he does is read manga on his computer. In another class, he just sits in the back taking up 3 desks playing computer games.

that was it?

HAHAHA

More of this authentic autist

Oh theres more, I'm just not gonna shoot my load over a possibly dead thread
If he walks in the room and my door is open, he takes that as an invite to go strip to his boxers and come in and pace around in my room. Every. Damn. Time.

I too would like to hear more of the autism

Fair enough, seems like a freak to me though

I would like to hear more tard stories, please. Also the pic may be unrelated, doesn't mean it isn't appealing.

Moar

So, one of my friends, we'll call him John, comes over pretty often. Well, roommate has taken a liking to John. He'll see John and punch/slap him until John reluctantly agrees to play video games. Keep in mind, roommate is built like a small child, while John was on the D-Line in high school football. There was one time John fell asleep in class and roommate walked over and slapped John in the face to wake him up. The John stories are easily my favorite, but I'm gonna digress for a second before I forget something.
My friend has a cat in his dorm, and he brought it over while a couple of us were in my room watching a movie for Halloween. We were about to go get ice, which is a floor down from me, so we were just gonna leave Lola, the cat, in my room. Roommate walked out as we were leaving so I asked if he's allergic. He said yeah, and then added: but I won't have a bad reaction unless I shove it up my butt or something.

post moar autism

>Unless I shove it up my butt or something.
My sides! I'm imagining this guy to look like doofy from scary movie

Holy shit I forgot about this too. I went in his room with John to play vidya cuz why not, but this dude has a literal mountain of crumpled up tissues chilling next to his bed on the floor. John and I were gonna go to Wing House with some friends, so the friends show up and come chill in roommates room. First one of the girls in my group shows up, comes in, and sits on the ground. Right. Next. To. The. Tissues.
Somehow she didn't notice, idk how, but nobody did except me until a couple times later. He also had a mountain of empty pizza boxes, like over 2 weeks worth, eating a pizza every day, just chilling by his window like it's nothing.

The autism is real.

i lost you fucker

She later told me that she refused to look around his room because it was so disgusting (and still is), and as soon as our other friend got off work, we all bolted because this dudes room is absolutely nasty.
Another time, John went to go play games with roommate while were all chilling in one of the common rooms. I get a text about 2 minutes later that says "He turned off all the lights. Help me." I knew that was gonna happen because when I've played vidya with him, he turned off every light in our room because "it bothers him." I just laughed and ignored the text, and then I got another text that said "He just told me I'm his source of entertainment." I fucking died laughing at that one.
For this one, I need to preface it. One of my friends comes over quite often, and roommate interacts with him each time. Every time my friend comes over, my roommate forgets that hes ever met the guy and asks who he is. I don't know how you forget that easily but he does.

Bump

Two eating related ones coming up next:
First day, I didn't know anyone, so we went to the dining hall together to eat. He saw our RA so he went and sat with her, and I sat down too. There was already a dude sitting next to her clearly trying to make moves, but honestly, fuck that dude. Anyways, we're talking to her, and somehow parents come up, and she mentions that she's never met her dad. Now, my roommate doesn't have a sense of smell. So, his obvious reaction is to draw a parallel between the two. Now, what parallel would you draw? None? Same here. My roommate would disagree. He says, and I quote, "I think not having a sense of smell is worse than growing up without a dad." To our fucking RA. That we met 10 minutes ago (there were papers on our desks with a little bio about our RA and her picture, so we knew what she looked like before that).
Not too long ago, me and my friends are going to the dining hall, and we saw him sitting there alone, so we decided to go sit with him. This dude has an entire container of garlic that he always brings with him, which I get because it's all he can taste, but the dining hall has garlic that you can put on your pizza. Anyways, we're sitting there talking, trying to include him, but he randomly says "this is the first time I've eaten with people all year," which made me feel kinda bad, but then he promptly took out his phone and started watching a video. I'm pretty sure it was some anime video too.

I feel bad for this guy but at the same time it sounds like someone you'd love to punch in the face

What was everyone's reaction at the lunch table after he said that to your RA?

Seems pretty normal to me. There are a lot of people that don't wear pants at home, and sounds like he's socially awkward. Probably didn't have a lot of friends growing up, and doesn't know how to interact.

I think the real problem is having roommates sucks in general.

But continue with the stories.

can you green text plz?

also fuck your roommate and john is too nice.

fuckin a john, jab that nigga in the eye for once.

Sounds like the average Sup Forums tard to me.

John sounds like an alright guy. Roomie is for real autist.

He can be a straight savage sometimes though.
I'm far from living the movie college experience, but I am hanging out with friends most of the time and drinking most weekends. Now, I never really drank before college, so I'm still going hard as I can cuz fuck having a liver. I've blacked out multiple times, and the other day, I was leaving to buy alcohol for a party, and said see you later tonight, and he said "yeah, but whether you remember it is a different story all together.
The dude that was making moves legitimately got up and left, I asked him later if it was related and he said yeah, my RA didn't say anything cuz shes too nice, but when he got up to get a drink, I apologized for him. I think that's part of what keeps her from searching my room even though she knows I have alcohol.
He's not super autistic, just weird as shit, and you're probably right about the not well adjusted. I'm the type of person that jokingly roasts people and is jokingly mean to my friends as my sense of humor, and he tries to copy it. The difference being that I can pull it off (I think, but if not idc) with my inflection and such, but he's too deadpan about it
I am absolute ass at greentexting, sorry man, but yeah, John is wayyyy too nice

oh well, hopefully he won't shove your friends cat up his ass

>not having a sense of smell is worse than growing up without a dad
Is this guy actually retarded. like what kind of fuck says that to a chick.

I'm trying to think of more, but in the mean time, if anyone has questions I'll answer any to keep the thread alive.

This dude also eats popcorn ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I walk in my room and it smells like popcorn. One time, one of my friends wanted some, literally only one bag, and roommate goes "sure, if you have 5 dollars," which, I get not wanting to give it away for free, but his reasoning for charging so much was not wanting to go for like 2 hours without popcorn.
Also, every time he comes home, he opens my door. Every. Fucking. Time. Idk what he does when I'm not home, but he does it every god damn time.