Sisters birthday last week

>sisters birthday last week
>her and her friends are having a party downstairs
>she begged my mom to let her do it somewhere else, but my mom said that she would make sure I wouldnt bother her and her friends
>she is 15 and her friends are around the same age
>all her friends are vapid cunts and I dont want to risk losing my virginity to anyone but my 10/10 virgin dream girl so I decide to stay in my room
>just finished watching a couple episodes of mlp
>those qt ponies always make me parched
>sneak past mother and go downstairs into the kitchen to grab another two liter mountain dew
>I crawl on the floor like a snake so I can slither by them without them see me
>their slut senses must have picked up on the fact that Im only wearing my semen stained undies
>they start to leave the kitchen revolted
>out of the corner of my eye I see the most beautiful semen demon you an imagine
>pig tails
>short shorts
>no make up
>she couldnt have been older than 12
>literally perfect
>I run over to her and grab her to take her into my room
>she starts screaming when i put my hands on that soft pale skin
>all the girls seem really scared
>lol. like I would be tainted by their gaping cunts
>i hiss at them and drag this beute up the stairs by the root of her hair
>dad must have heard the screaming and came to see what was happening
>right before I get into my room he hits me in the back of my head with a closed fist
>"user bad!" he screams
>i drop the girl, turn and hiss at him.
>barely make it into my room with my life

Didnt get any sweet loli puss, but mom and dad got a visit from the police with the girls parents. kek. those sluts wont be coming back anytime soon

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Good god man, have some decency! You don't just go about kidnapping girls.

You're fat, your mother's a whore, and I wish you had been in Auswich.
Good day.

>decency
>on Sup Forums

Check out OPs faggy youtube channel youtube.com/user/peezyworld420

Next time, time master

Topkek

Oh gawd, so much bullshit I couldn't get past the first half.

Good post op, had lulz.
Now kill yourself faggot

>an average Sup Forumstard

Yeah cause we all think it really happened and didn't just read it for the laughs

Nice copypasta you faggot

>everyone is out of town for the weekend
>have mdma and viagra stashed away
>ultimate fap weekend is a go
>pills kicking in, things are feeling good
>want to grind my dick on something soft, wander into sisters closet
>she a huge raver so costumes and fun fur is everywhere
>start rubbing cock on a fluffy legwarmer
>something inside me snaps, and i see a pair of her nylons
>start putting them on, holy christ it feels good
>pills hitting hard now, eyes are rolling
>put on panties, then pair of big fur boots, dick rock hard
>grab a corset and start squeezing myself in, every time i pull the strings to make it tighter i feel like cumming
>put on a fun fur jacket over it, then a poofy tutu
>oh god we arent done yet, she has wigs
>big sparkling pink wig goes on, i start playing with makeup and cake it on my face
>dick is dripping through the panties, im swishing around in her raver costume now and dancing
>she has a big fur hood, thats what i need to complete everything
>oh ho, whats this, a pair of handcuffs under everything, sis is into bondage
>without thinking i snap them on my wrists behind my back and start bouncing around, the drugs practically have me cuming as i feel the furry outfit squishing all around me
>trip and fall down, core strength is weak and the corset is tight, can barely move
>try to get up, its not happening
>fun fur and wig blinding me, cant shake them off
>terror strikes me just as the drugs start peaking
>oh fuck it, start grinding against one of the legwarmers on the ground
>within a minute i have a mind shattering orgasm and scream like im being sent to auschwitz
>sudden commotion downstairs
>"ARE YOU ALRIGHT"
>oh shit
>someones home
>im high as fuck
>im in a fur raver costume
>feet coming up the stairs
>rolling frantically off legwarmer, huge cumstain leaking out from panties onto floor
>door opens

Auschwitz?

>Auswich
>american_education.jpg.exe

This isn't real. I need pics of raver gear or not buying it bro sorry

...

>Auswich
An Australian Sandwich? With genuine kangaroo meat?

>i hiss at them and drag this beute up the stairs by the root of her hair
>drag this beute
>beute
I'm German and I fucking laughed at that. Never saw it as an English word.
Also, OP's fag.

>those qt ponies always make me parched

Top kek

...

>opening presents for 31st birthday
>mom hands me her and dads gift
>knew it was going to be a gift card
>open that son of a bitch up
>wait what the fuck
>what the fuck is this
>200 dollars to a fucking clothing store?
>"Where the fuck is my GameStop gift card you fucking whore?"
>"We were hoping you could pick yourself out some nice clothes...."
>"I don't need clothes you cum eating slut. I have plenty of trenchcoats and cargo shorts already."
>"user you're going to have to live with it."
>"Live with this you nigger fucker!"
>pull down my shorts and start diarrheaing all over the fine carpeting
>a beautiful brown sludge flies through the air and hits my mom square in the face
>dad tries to tackle me
>"Heh... too easy" I whisper as I evade his bear-like body in a beautiful seamless ballet twirl
>my ass covers him with shit as he falls into the coffee table
>cat was under the table and dies horribly, blood and shit all over
>"ill be in my cave, don't call me unless you fix your mistake"
>mfw they got me a 300 dollar GameStop card within the hour

>Auswich

user bad!

Kekd

Where I can find more?

>user bad!

Visit robots. They aee the original

you seriously and more than likely look like that frog

Guh, seriously. You are boring.

>trying this hard
2/10

>I crawl on the floor like a snake so I can slither by them without them see me
>their slut senses must have picked up on the fact that Im only wearing my semen stained undies

Forced, seriously. You gotta build up to that level of rediculousness. These stories are funny when they're relatable and atleast somewhat believable, or they successfully parody some real life trope. You just went straight to shitting on people, that's old hat. Also you curse too often, it loses its zing when you overuse bad language.

Kek

>Birthday last week
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever

dumb frogposter

better luck next time

>Mom gets off work early without calling first
>Finds me in the pantry emptying my poop jug into the cat's litter box
>Starts yelling at me, saying that I'm fucking disgusting
>Tell her that it's all her fault for breaking up with my dad when I was six
>She tells me that I need to be an adult
>Cry and scream and even throw my shit jug at her
>She says that from now on I have to go to bed before midnight
>Tell her to fuck off and go to my room
>Don't go to bed because it's fucking bullshit and I'm not a god damn wage slave
>She opens the door flat out at like one AM and is really pissed
>Tries to push me away from the computer, but I'm too heavy
>I start yelling at the top of my lungs
>She rips my computer tower out of the wall and takes it up to her room
>Knows I'm too fat to climb the stairs and thinks shes won
>Lay down at the bottom of the stairs and scream until my throat hurts
>Still no computer
>She goes to work the next day
>Wake up at like 3 PM and no computer
>Bitch has fucking overstepped her boundaries now
>Go into the bathroom and lift top off toilet tank so I can shit in it
>Sitting on tank and begin to turtle-head when I get an idea
>Pucker up my ass and waddle into the kitchen
>Take huge shit in the microwave and set the timer for three hours
>Mom comes home an hour later and the whole house fucking reeks
>She's screaming about a fire in the kitchen
>Can hear her crying for hours and even hear firemen stamping around
>Later that evening she comes in sobbing
>Sets up my computer tower for me
Flawless victory