How do I get in shape without doing anything?

How do I get in shape without doing anything?

I have rheumatoid arthritis in my elbows and knees and can't do much else than sit and type all day.
I'm skinny and I wanna look more muscular and put on weight without being fat

Is this possible?

Youre fucked m8

:(

you don't get in shape without doing anything. best case scenario is you starve yourself and become skinnyfat. you have to exercise if you don't want to be a lardass. if you joints hurt then you should try swimming, the water will support most of your body weight and allow you to move your joints without straining them.

not op but.... how about electro-shock muscle convulses.

Smoke weed and go to the gym.
It legitimately reduces inflammation, they give prescriptions for that..

Smoking anything and going to the gym sounds funny. Hey, it's that crazy stoner passed out on the weight rack again. Fuck.

You can't build muscle without causing rips and tears in your muscles that your body needs to repair. You sound like a candidate for low weight high reps. Honestly start off with body weight excercises. Do what you CAN. If you can't do something because you are unable, fine, find an alternative.

Any good physical therapist should be able to give you some very easy exercises to build up muscle around your problem joints. That's what you need to be doing. Then if you can reduce some of the pain / stress you may be able to progress onto things you couldn't do in the past.

It's all calories in calories out. Stop eating McDonalds and eat some fucking broccoli you fat sack of shit. Like your diet is poor. Cake isnt breakfast. No sugar. Lean meat and veggies. Keep it under 2000 calories. Once youre in shape you'll realize life is meaningless and your hot body doesnt make up for how terrible you are anyway. Hope this helps.

Eat or vaporize is obviously better. Nick Diaz a UFC champion was famous for vaping before training.

This! When I was rehabilitating from a car accident I had to train in water...
After I was rehabilitated I still kept going.

clenbuterol and trenbolone
gets you fucking shredded with no effort

Do Dennis' secret tension workout. Just flex your muscles as hard as possible for 5, 10, and 30 seconds at a time.

This is a bit of a lie. Calories in and out matter, but he said he wants to build MUSCLE. Muscle == more good calories + exercise that causes muscles fibers to tear.

So... while calories in and / out are important, what your intent (goal) is and what types of exercise you elect to do along with the quality and composition of said calories is important too.

Basically fuck you.

Start calorie counting or macro counting.

You won't get buff, but the weight you lose will be better for your joints.

Water exercise was a good idea, too.

When I help someone with losing weight, I tell them to write down everything they eat and drink for a week.
Then add the calories up, vs their weekly calorie goal. Then look at what the eat, and what they can comfortably take out to begin to reach their calorie goal.

Diet pops are just as bad as regular, although it has zero calories.

Godspeed.

STEROIDS YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>you'll realize life is meaningless and your hot body doesnt make up for how terrible you are anyway

holy shit are you me?

We are all each other.

Your first problem is being lazy. Rheumatoid arthritis isn't the worst thing to happen to someone. Athletes train on worse injuries (dislocations, ACLs). If you're not naturally bulky you need to do something. Steroids or exercise.

FDH
Friss die Hälfte!

>Smoke weed and go to the gym.
This is the answer to everything, right?

why do anti weed people think that people who smoke think it's the answer for everything. Pot does reduce inflammation whether you like it or not