Joke thread. Post funniest jokes you know.
I was walking down the street the other day when I saw a nigger carrying a TV. I thought "Oh shit! That might be mine!" So I ran home as fast as I could only to be relieved that it was still there, shining my shoes.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they
One day there were 4 niggers in a Cadillac and they all drove over a cliff and died at the bottom. But do you know the saddest part of the story?
The Cadillac seats 6
What is 9 inches long, pink, and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage
What is the hardest part about watching police brutality videos?
My erection
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between a preschool and an ISIS camp?
I don't know, man. I just fly the drones.
What do a nigger and a slinky have in common?
Fuck if I know but I sure as fuck like watching them fall down a flight of stairs.
Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike.
My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders.
>mfw I've tried it and it's pgood
Ghetto pregnancy test:
1) Stick a banana in pussy
2) check for bite marks
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My girlfriend came home earlier than normal last night and caught me cheating on her.
I don't know what she was more upset about
That I was fucking our daughter.
Or that the Abortion Clinic let me bring her home
what do you do if you find yourself surrounded by 100 niggers, 50 dead, 50 alive and all you can hear is the sound of laughter?
Stop laughing and reload
If a beaner and a nigger jump off of a skyscraper at the same time, which one will hit the ground first?
Who gives a fuck?
Oh shit that's a good one
what is purple, stiff and makes women scream?
cotdeath
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You take your foot off their head
Kek
What breaks when you give it to a toddler?
Their hips.
how do you stop a faggot from choking?
take your cock out it's mouth
I like my women like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
How do you make a little girl cry again?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
I like my women the way I play my golf game. Around 80 and handicapped.
How do you make a fag fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt
I love the word 'Racecar.'
Put it forwards, it's racecar. Put it backwards, it's still racecar. Put it sideways, and Paul Walker dies.
Drum kit falls down a hill
*ba-dum-tsss*
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What's the difference between a gun and my dick?
Kids don't cry when my gun goes off in their mouth
Fuck that's the cleanest, funniest joke I have ever heard
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because it was outstanding in it's field
What's the best part about fucking a transvestite?
Reaching around and pretending you went all the way through
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
What time does Gary glitter go to bed?
When the big hand touches the little hand
what do gay horses eat?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of underwear?
In case he got a hole in one
if you don't reply to this post with a joke your momma will choke to death on a nigger dick tonight
Fuck that's funny
An eight year old girl sees her father getting out of the shower and asks,
"Daddy, when do I get one of those between my legs?"
to which the father replies,
"As soon as Mommy leaves for work."
Your mommas so nasty she suck yo daddys dick then went to kiss you goodnight
What would say to Mike Tyson if he had no arms?
Nigger nigger niggerrrr
Honestly, I think all these types of jokes are funny depending on the delivery. Except abortion jokes because there literally is no delivery.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope
What's the best hotel in the world?
Auschwitz, 1 million stars
The funniest joke I've ever said was when a black girl came up to me and asked me to tell her every racist/fucked up joke I know. Time-lapse 20mins, she interrupts me and says "do you know any white jokes?" I quickly with a straight face and without hesitation said "why would I make fun of a perfect race?" Im also half black unfortunately
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Well it has to be more than 7, because my basement is still really dark.
This is why you can't trick aborted fetuses. Because, c'mon, they weren't born yesterday...
A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm not getting enough sleep, can you give me some Viagra?"
The doc says, "You do realise Viagra won't help you sleep, don't you?"
And the guys says, "Yes, but it'll stop me rolling out of bed."
How do you stop a nigger drowning?
Take your foot off his head
What's blue and fucks old people?
Me in my lucky blue cape.
I kek'd.
I just found my new go to joke
Thanks bro
I have already made this joke newfag
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
Whatever it is, it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre
What's the difference between a Cadillac and 12 dead hookers?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage
Missed it. My bad I shall now go and kill myself.
nice
I used to have a fear of hurdles...
I got over it :)
You are forgiven.
how many apples grow on the tree?
all of them
How do you teach a polish child how to put on underwear? Brown in the back,yellow in the front.
I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit. A minute later, some guy did exactly the same thing. I said to him, "I just did that." So, he punched me in the face and called me a dirty motherfucker.
Ohhhhh I get it, it's funny because you said nigger.
What do the twin towers and lasagna have in common?
They bith have ground beef in the middle.
Ha! Guess the bitch is dead then
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Gay?
I like my women like I like my whiskey; 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
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You stole that from noted film director and pedophile Roman Polanski
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na
I stole it from here like 8 years ago.
Dude. Seek help
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
What's the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
it only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus
If there was a funny white joke, I'd tell it, but other races aren't creative.
This is a jokes thread. As in, there are jokes.
What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure?
An improvement.
Kekkers