So I've been cumming in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as fuck. For like two months...

So I've been cumming in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as fuck. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake.

He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease.

Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as fuck.

What are the chances I'm a dad?

what the fuck is wrong with you

100 percent.

And if you're greek, then it will probably be a retarded poor cunt too.

that my friend is a good question

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No chance 0%

quickly move away

Does your shower happen to be inside a giant freezer? Fucking idiot....

There is less than a .000000001% chance it's yours, OP. Don't be a dumbass.

Sperm die very quickly and you're shooting them into soap and chemicals that have a snowball's chance in Hell of making it inside her anyway.

The body wash would have killed any sperm you idiot

you're right

Zero percent chance bucko, no way in hell your supermarket survived the body wash, and hell, no chance she's taking straight body wash and vigorously rubbing her vagoo with it. Let alone the temperature problems. You're not gonna be a dad, you're not ever gonna be a dad you autistic fuck.

Maybe she Just fucked someone else, who know

If he did it every day?

idk but i can google

>How long can sperm live on environmental surfaces?

>They die as they dry out, so it depends on how quickly they dry. They also are killed by fresh(tap) water due to osmotic shock(they "explode"). Soap and detergents such as those used for laundering and hand washing also kill them, as these substances strip off the cell membrane("skin") of the sperm. These methods kill sperm very quickly.

>Please note, while sperm are relatively easy to kill on environmental surfaces, do not try to use water or detergents to kill them in the vagina or female reproductive tract. The female tract and the jelly-like consistency of human semen protect them from mixing well with water once inside the female body. In addition, water and detergent can be harmful to the tissues. This is not a good birth control strategy!

0 the sperm dies in the soap idiot. And even if it didnt sperm can only outside the Body for half day bc temperaturen and bacteria

seriously go die in a hole

You are awesome. To bad your son will never know and will be raised by a cuck.

Ah and also I can give advices:
start cumming in their food, tyler durden style
way safer and funnier

They'll know as soon as the ultra sound the bitch and see the nose

0% as the sperm dies immediately after it comes into contact with the acidic body wash solution.

0. Fucking gross idiot.

What Sup Forums has become. Fucking shameful.

Gynecologistfag here, you have an extremely high chance, as a few of the chemicals in body wash are made to preserve organics. The sperm can stay alive for a short period, usually between 3 and 6 hours before the last of them die, depending on the bodywash.

The only scenario that would be viable is if there would be a lot of dead semen in the soap already, you came freshly in it, and she took a shower right after you

The truth is OP banged his mates Mr's. What a poor excuse.

OP here.

She uses a cheap floral thing that doesn't really seem to have much soap. Mostly scent.

I work at a coffee shop, so I shower at around 4am. She showers at 6am.

I do it around three times a week.

That's the exact scenario

Mr's? You mean Mrs.?

That's weapons-grade autism there folks.

Typical stupid Greek fuck. No wonder why your country is a shithole.

actually my GF goes retarded when she cleans her pussy she opens it the fuck up and reaches deep inside every time.

mfw she spends 5 minutes over cleaning her pussy

Εισαι αισχος, ρε πουστη.
You're a fucking disgrace.

Gotta rinse the nigger cum out, right?

Clearly never had a gf

Believe me, not with body wash. That stuff burns.
>thirteen year old mistakes
>lessons learned

/rekt

Actually your vagina smells best if you don't wash it. Obviously wash away sweat and shit from the crotch area and get water all over that area, hut the vagina itself is self cleaning, and soap will fuck up it's pH levels and give you a gross smell from bacterial overgrowth

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Nice bait almost got me/10

since when are funny stories b8, whether fake or not

This is obvious fucking bait

he likely joined Sup Forums last summer when the gr8b8m8 thing was really popular

Gynofag here. There is a chance.

When they're asking u for advice on that shit faggot

0% take a high school level sexual education course.

I did. In the us. It consisted of "if you have sex she'll get pregnant and get HPV and cervix cancer and then her and your baby will die praise Jesus"

Holy fuck this is hilarious. What a legend.

Do this OP. In the cream of mushroom soup.

lurk more

Dude if it can survive the shower gel then it's some buff ass shit

And why would she rub it in there

op is clearly a tard.

semen will not survive 30 sec in body wash.

mein neger

Sounds like a bet! Mine could probably last about two minutes, but they're fighters.

it's all part of the immersion user, you'll get used to it

More like affen

A ripe, passive-aggressive, Mediterranean zero fucking percent, you imbecile.

Better yet, you should ignore any advice on this thread and find out in nine months.

Like anyone on Sup Forums is a licensed GP.

this

ikr

It doesn't take a licensed GP to know that sperm doesn't survive in body wash

The only chance is if the entire soap was replaced with your jizz. Dont be a fucking dumbass and know what youre doing before doing it

Wasnt that last year

My ape?
Thats rascist

You really think your cum would survive in a bottle of shampoo?

Is op this fucken stupid?

Dude you got her pregnant. Run away asap b4 he finds out

>greek
Yes he is

>Is op this fucken stupid?
It's not OP who is stupid; it's the people who take notice of his posts who are.

I laughed irl. It is 12am and i'm sitting by myself in a dark room and you made me laugh from just reading a few sentences. Take some pride in that

0%

probably not because youre shitty greek sperm was probably too poor to get anywhere. FUCK GREECE

Zero, your cum almost instantly dies when in contact with air and especially in body wash

>supermarket
fucking phone users

Have the decided what there going to do with the baby?

You better hope they don't find out.

Μαλάκα, don't say you're Greek when you admit to shit like this, you're making us look bad.

I thought greeks are white?

What do you look like?

Post a pic of yourself, non identifying if you're scared of being doxxed.

2 months means the thing i already stinky and slimy. how is she not noticing something is wrong with her soap?

Not OP, pic for reference.

As long as girls can get pregnant through their skin, and not when condoms break inside their vaginas and unload fresh living semen directly into their ovaries, 100%.

Which is to say 0%.

How the fuck did the Greeks create Sophocles, Epicurus, Aristotle, Zeno, Euripides, Plato, and then you? Faith in humanity, whoosh, all gone.

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