So I've been cumming in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as fuck. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake.
He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease.
Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as fuck.
What are the chances I'm a dad?
Brayden Moore
what the fuck is wrong with you
Brayden Hall
100 percent.
And if you're greek, then it will probably be a retarded poor cunt too.
Liam Myers
that my friend is a good question
Cooper Richardson
...
Joseph Johnson
No chance 0%
Landon Clark
quickly move away
William Jones
Does your shower happen to be inside a giant freezer? Fucking idiot....
Carson Thomas
There is less than a .000000001% chance it's yours, OP. Don't be a dumbass.
Sperm die very quickly and you're shooting them into soap and chemicals that have a snowball's chance in Hell of making it inside her anyway.
Hunter Nelson
The body wash would have killed any sperm you idiot
Charles Baker
you're right
Adam Taylor
Zero percent chance bucko, no way in hell your supermarket survived the body wash, and hell, no chance she's taking straight body wash and vigorously rubbing her vagoo with it. Let alone the temperature problems. You're not gonna be a dad, you're not ever gonna be a dad you autistic fuck.
Carson Edwards
Maybe she Just fucked someone else, who know
Luis Thomas
If he did it every day?
Samuel Green
idk but i can google
>How long can sperm live on environmental surfaces?
>They die as they dry out, so it depends on how quickly they dry. They also are killed by fresh(tap) water due to osmotic shock(they "explode"). Soap and detergents such as those used for laundering and hand washing also kill them, as these substances strip off the cell membrane("skin") of the sperm. These methods kill sperm very quickly.
>Please note, while sperm are relatively easy to kill on environmental surfaces, do not try to use water or detergents to kill them in the vagina or female reproductive tract. The female tract and the jelly-like consistency of human semen protect them from mixing well with water once inside the female body. In addition, water and detergent can be harmful to the tissues. This is not a good birth control strategy!
Grayson Howard
0 the sperm dies in the soap idiot. And even if it didnt sperm can only outside the Body for half day bc temperaturen and bacteria
Levi Perez
seriously go die in a hole
Samuel Baker
You are awesome. To bad your son will never know and will be raised by a cuck.
Jayden Moore
Ah and also I can give advices: start cumming in their food, tyler durden style way safer and funnier
Oliver Foster
They'll know as soon as the ultra sound the bitch and see the nose
Isaiah Cooper
0% as the sperm dies immediately after it comes into contact with the acidic body wash solution.
Joseph Robinson
0. Fucking gross idiot.
Ayden Campbell
What Sup Forums has become. Fucking shameful.
Jayden Flores
Gynecologistfag here, you have an extremely high chance, as a few of the chemicals in body wash are made to preserve organics. The sperm can stay alive for a short period, usually between 3 and 6 hours before the last of them die, depending on the bodywash.
James Wright
The only scenario that would be viable is if there would be a lot of dead semen in the soap already, you came freshly in it, and she took a shower right after you
Nathan Davis
The truth is OP banged his mates Mr's. What a poor excuse.
Zachary Jenkins
OP here.
She uses a cheap floral thing that doesn't really seem to have much soap. Mostly scent.
I work at a coffee shop, so I shower at around 4am. She showers at 6am.
I do it around three times a week.
Tyler Bell
That's the exact scenario
Jaxon Wilson
Mr's? You mean Mrs.?
Michael Cox
That's weapons-grade autism there folks.
Bentley Lewis
Typical stupid Greek fuck. No wonder why your country is a shithole.
Isaiah Sanders
actually my GF goes retarded when she cleans her pussy she opens it the fuck up and reaches deep inside every time.
mfw she spends 5 minutes over cleaning her pussy
Jaxson Torres
Εισαι αισχος, ρε πουστη. You're a fucking disgrace.
Landon Young
Gotta rinse the nigger cum out, right?
Adrian Carter
Clearly never had a gf
Ian Johnson
Believe me, not with body wash. That stuff burns. >thirteen year old mistakes >lessons learned
Jonathan Ross
/rekt
Logan Thomas
Actually your vagina smells best if you don't wash it. Obviously wash away sweat and shit from the crotch area and get water all over that area, hut the vagina itself is self cleaning, and soap will fuck up it's pH levels and give you a gross smell from bacterial overgrowth
Cameron Rivera
...
Dylan Morgan
Nice bait almost got me/10
Ryder Garcia
since when are funny stories b8, whether fake or not
Jace Barnes
This is obvious fucking bait
Owen Lee
he likely joined Sup Forums last summer when the gr8b8m8 thing was really popular
Liam Walker
Gynofag here. There is a chance.
Nathan Cooper
When they're asking u for advice on that shit faggot
Noah Baker
0% take a high school level sexual education course.
Jaxon Evans
I did. In the us. It consisted of "if you have sex she'll get pregnant and get HPV and cervix cancer and then her and your baby will die praise Jesus"
Elijah Parker
Holy fuck this is hilarious. What a legend.
Landon Gomez
Do this OP. In the cream of mushroom soup.
Aiden Carter
lurk more
Justin Mitchell
Dude if it can survive the shower gel then it's some buff ass shit
And why would she rub it in there
Connor Young
op is clearly a tard.
Chase Nguyen
semen will not survive 30 sec in body wash.
Blake Wilson
mein neger
Gavin Flores
Sounds like a bet! Mine could probably last about two minutes, but they're fighters.
Joseph Foster
it's all part of the immersion user, you'll get used to it
Daniel Adams
More like affen
Noah Martinez
A ripe, passive-aggressive, Mediterranean zero fucking percent, you imbecile.
Better yet, you should ignore any advice on this thread and find out in nine months.
Like anyone on Sup Forums is a licensed GP.
Brody Morris
this
John Baker
ikr
Jack Morgan
It doesn't take a licensed GP to know that sperm doesn't survive in body wash
Carson Walker
The only chance is if the entire soap was replaced with your jizz. Dont be a fucking dumbass and know what youre doing before doing it
Asher Rodriguez
Wasnt that last year
Brandon Nguyen
My ape? Thats rascist
Elijah Myers
You really think your cum would survive in a bottle of shampoo?
Is op this fucken stupid?
Grayson Ortiz
Dude you got her pregnant. Run away asap b4 he finds out
Luis King
>greek Yes he is
Elijah Williams
>Is op this fucken stupid? It's not OP who is stupid; it's the people who take notice of his posts who are.
Tyler Hall
I laughed irl. It is 12am and i'm sitting by myself in a dark room and you made me laugh from just reading a few sentences. Take some pride in that
Jackson Richardson
0%
Ian Sanders
probably not because youre shitty greek sperm was probably too poor to get anywhere. FUCK GREECE
Cooper Hall
Zero, your cum almost instantly dies when in contact with air and especially in body wash
Julian Smith
>supermarket fucking phone users
Jordan Myers
Have the decided what there going to do with the baby?
You better hope they don't find out.
Jayden Cruz
Μαλάκα, don't say you're Greek when you admit to shit like this, you're making us look bad.
Christian Richardson
I thought greeks are white?
What do you look like?
Post a pic of yourself, non identifying if you're scared of being doxxed.
Samuel Reed
2 months means the thing i already stinky and slimy. how is she not noticing something is wrong with her soap?
Ryan Morales
Not OP, pic for reference.
Aaron Adams
As long as girls can get pregnant through their skin, and not when condoms break inside their vaginas and unload fresh living semen directly into their ovaries, 100%.
Which is to say 0%.
How the fuck did the Greeks create Sophocles, Epicurus, Aristotle, Zeno, Euripides, Plato, and then you? Faith in humanity, whoosh, all gone.