ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
Other urls found in this thread:
scribd.com
twitter.com
Once I called someone a newfag.
>Alpha as fuck
I did have this day last week where I just felt insanely confident. I am usually pretty awkward but when I was walking to work there was this bogan faggot going off at some asian man, making everyone really uncomfortable and as I walked past I just sternly yelled "Cut it out!" and the guy actually didn't stab me so that felt really good. Does that count as alpha? That's about as big as accomplishments go in my life...
>learned to wipe my own ass
Alpha as fuck
Ive been experimenting with just asking for sex of strangers, last week it worked.
>fat and lonely
>go to the only website where I know I can get attention
>post about hurting animal
>guaranteed now people will talk to me
>alpha as fuck
ok you can tell us more about that one.
>edgy as fuck
>talks shit about people getting attention
>gives those same people attention
...
honestly make a thread on that, I'm interested
> can't control temper
> takes it out on a cat
> beta as FUCK
> autistic
walk into a brothel
find a hot hooker
fuck the hooker for free
return again
then again and again
start getting feelings for slut
become bf gf
a month later im in love
move in with her and live together
alpha as fuck
>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
Joined US ARMY, year later 9/11. Deployed to Afghanistan killing sand niggers. Then, deployed to Iraq killing more. Alpha as fuck.
HAHAHAHAHA AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAAAAA HAAHAHAHAHA
sums me up well
>trained in gorilla warfare
>over 300 confirmed kills
That's beta, she turned the music up on you. If a forced blowjob was in play or if you fucked her; that would have been alpha as fuck.
that's not alpha, that's being a little bitch. kys
i remember that pasta
>go alone to an afterparty
>meet a dentist
>discuss teeth I got knocked out in a fight
>get an appointment next week
>alpha as fuck
>every time at public waiting place with magazines to read
>always laugh about the fat feminist journalists
> fucking girlfriend from behind
> she asks what I want for dinner, fucking up my groove, boner starts to soften
> punch her in the back of the head
> she starts crying and yelling at me
> bone comes back, 2 fold
> pull out, flip her over, punch her in the face and cum all over her face
> in the end her face was covered with tears, mascara, blood from her nose and cum
> I tell her to only talk when I give her permission to talk
> alpha as fuck
its a old pasta take it easy reddit friends
>Copy a greentext
>A shit one too
Newfag as fuck.
It's Anonymous!!
Fag.
>be me
>have lung cancer
>don't know how to pay the medicine
>I'm just a teacher
>find pupil from old times
>he's good in chemistry
>we cook meth
>cancer still didn't kill me
>say my name
>be taking a shit
>farts echoing out like judgement day trumpets
>stench of my fecal matter is peeling the paint off the wall
>squeeze out a mighty log of stinking turd
>it's three feet long and thick as a child's leg
>too big to go under the water, protrudes from the bowl and hangs over the edge
>wipe
>flush
>turd will not flush away
>try once more
>leave it
>turd is still there three years later
>alpha as fuck
>be 35 year-old virgin NEET
>wake up at 6pm
>glance at my GBP board
>*gasp*
>momsey raized my Tendies by 5GBP EACH!
>Fucking makin me a bitch boy
>Go online lookin for advice
>I heard Reddit is helpfull
>Crawl through forest of NeckBeards
>Fined haven of the Gods!
>/r/Redpill
>Turns out momsey is just a whore needing an Alpha
>Must sell Beta Bux for RedPills
>Check Momsey's drawers, normie bitch has packets of Control pillz !!!
>Controll pillz will suffice
>Tear open packs swallow every last fucking Control pill
>I AM ALPHA
>I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH
>I AM REDPILL
>Momsey walks in screaming at me, give her knowing smile, punch that bitch in her baby maker
>I AM ALPHA! I continue to shout while beating my chest like a Silverback Gorilla
>Pull out my peepee n slap momsey as she cries salty tears
>Belly is all Rumbly Tumbly, Control pills must be workin
>Start slapping Momsey showing my true dominance, I don't need no GBP I scream in her fucking normie face!!!!
>Black the Fuck out
>Wake up in hospital, stomach freshly pumped now Im hungry as fuck!
>Momsey crying in corner
>MFW nurse gives me pile of chicken tendies...
ALPHA AS FUCK!!
Hillary Clinton?
>kicking a cat
>getting cucked by a whore
>punching siblings
>internet tough guy pretends to be in army
CRINGY AS FUCK
kys faggots
Yeah, sure. Shitfag
Zozzle
cool life try not to get a retarded son
Zozzle
chill negro, it's only a fucking cat and a girl, who gives a shit
I used to be in the army dumb FUCK.
Please teach me
I'm american and actually know what bogan means. That makes me alpha as fuck.
i agree make a thread or greentext. that's pretty alpha.
>fuck an ugly girl in the ass
>shit on zobi
>Alpha as fuck
i was at this club with some work friends, and i saw this girl that was kinda hot, i might have been high or drunk, so i started doing a really ridiculous dance (google wkuk dinosaur rap), i point at this chick and approach her, buy her a drink etc
long story short, ended up at his house and her nephew gave me a bj, original girl got tired and went to bed
Lol how many attempts did it took?
Wot in the world
forgive english, i am Russia.
i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.
We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.
I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
Underated post
>be some random gook
>buy Sup Forums
>stick shitty advertising all over it
>impose 2meg file size limit to stop people posting any decent webms
>shut down Sup Forums
>alpha as fuck
alpha asf
That wouldn't make you alpha, that makes you stupid as fuck.
You sound like a child with no control of his anger.
Alpha, my ass.
I got fucked in the ass fucking bitch
what troubles me the most is that i think i was actually sober
and i meant *her house, not gay or anything
not that theres anything wrong with it
I didn't wipe until age 9. I was scared of poop.
ptsd? need a safe space?
>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck
I think you mean niece I guess??
Initially I was just planning on practicing my small talk, and started talking to random people to see how long I could keep them talking to me.
recently I've changed my tactics to just ask.
After a lot of rejection, I received a kiss that then progressed into a bj.
the girl was ok looking 5.5/10 at best.
Old pasta
Funny I was a virgin until 3 weeks ago. Made a tinder, posted good face pic and me dancing, I'm 300 ponds by the way. Anyways spent 10 bucks on unlined swipes and went 2 town on that shit. Matched with a 21 year old chick weigh about 130 a solid 6 out of 10 pushing 7 anyways I nervous as fuck go to town doing foreplay ect... ( Ps: I learnt how to tell when a girl is asking 4 it with their body language it's weird it's like she sends a signal and u just pick it up like tome freezes) anyways foreplay and shit start kissing my way down 2 her vjj Jesus Christmas it smelled she might have had a yeast infection. Anyways lost my boner so I figure her end up making her squint 4 times by then my dick is responsive again but still half Chung (5 inches by the way) so she blows me for like 15 minutes until I get hard she slaps the condom on and rides me. Anyways my point is expectations vs reality is world's apart and try tinder and just like everything. My first text 2 her was Netflix and chill cause in my bio I has Netflix and chill.
Do you plan to continúe im this or just give up?
>everyone is out of town for the weekend
>have mdma and viagra stashed away
>ultimate fap weekend is a go
>pills kicking in, things are feeling good
>want to grind my dick on something soft, wander into sisters closet
>she a huge raver so costumes and fun fur is everywhere
>start rubbing cock on a fluffy legwarmer
>something inside me snaps, and i see a pair of her nylons
>start putting them on, holy christ it feels good
>pills hitting hard now, eyes are rolling
>put on panties, then pair of big fur boots, dick rock hard
>grab a corset and start squeezing myself in, every time i pull the strings to make it tighter i feel like cumming
>put on a fun fur jacket over it, then a poofy tutu
>oh god we arent done yet, she has wigs
>big sparkling pink wig goes on, i start playing with makeup and cake it on my face
>dick is dripping through the panties, im swishing around in her raver costume now and dancing
>she has a big fur hood, thats what i need to complete everything
>oh ho, whats this, a pair of handcuffs under everything, sis is into bondage
>without thinking i snap them on my wrists behind my back and start bouncing around, the drugs practically have me cuming as i feel the furry outfit squishing all around me
>trip and fall down, core strength is weak and the corset is tight, can barely move
>try to get up, its not happening
>fun fur and wig blinding me, cant shake them off
>terror strikes me just as the drugs start peaking
>oh fuck it, start grinding against one of the legwarmers on the ground
>within a minute i have a mind shattering orgasm and scream like im being sent to auschwitz
>sudden commotion downstairs
>"ARE YOU ALRIGHT"
>oh shit
>someones home
>im high as fuck
>im in a fur raver costume
>feet coming up the stairs
>rolling frantically off legwarmer, huge cumstain leaking out from panties onto floor
>door opens
Surprised you got laid. You type like an autist.
>be me
>16
>at a party
>chatting up a girl
>pretty obvious we're going to make the sex happen
>her girl friend comes over
>starts flirting with me also
>we all chat for a bit
>I ask if they wanna go somewhere quiet
>we go to a bedroom
>I have a 3some with two gorgeous fucking girls
Hope your son dies when you have him in your arms
For sure.
although only one success thus far, I did start to recognise that I could get more personal, and felt close many times before.
Interestingly I have found that women who dress more promiscuous, were less interested in my advances.
>Read stuff about being alpha on /fit/
>Hear someone say, "Just BE alpha. Stop thinking you'll one day become alpha and just BE IT NOW."
>Decide to start doing that.
>Next time at grocery store, I'm walking down the cereal aisle.
>Hot girl comes up same aisle. We're all alone.
>"Be alpha," I think.
>"Hey," I say, "Hey, you're pretty fuckin hot, girl."
>She stops and laughs once, obviously taken off guard.
>"Umm..." she says, "umm... okay, wow. Wow. You've got confidence I'll give you that."
>I smile. "Wanna go back to my place?" I ask.
>She grins and looks away, shy. "Well..." she laughs again. "I don't usually do this kind of thing... geez... well... okay. But what would you want to do?"
>"Pleasure you all night, girl."
>Go back to my place. She takes off her shirt and I start licking her boobs.
>"Do you like my boobs?" she asks.
>"Fuck yea," I say, slobbering all over them, sucking the nipples. "I love your tits."
>"I've always been kinda self conscious about them. I think they look weird."
>"No, they're beautiful," I say. "They remind me of my mom's."
>"What the fuck?" She pulls back and looks angry.
>"I'm mean not that I've sucked my mom's boobs... I just mean they look normal like hers."
>"Wow. Just fucking wow. Figures. I need to go."
>I pull down my pants and start masturbating. Just sitting there masturbating as she gathers her things and walks out.
...
cont?
I don't how to describe how I felt coming across pic related.
.....but, " Finally!" was one of the first thoughts.
>be me after working as chef in restaurant
>someone's birthday at the bar
>shots
>tequila x 10
>go out to clubs
>coworker and I are dancing like mad
>he asks me if I want to go
>drunk me wants quiet
>lets go back to my place
>too drunk to know he gay
>we get in front door and he is all over me homo-style
>excuseyou.jpg
>he upset because I don't put out
>too late and stormy to send him home
>but also no couch so we share a bed
>make him breakfast the next morning and explain to roommates that I didn't get blacked
bump
bumperino