Hey Sup Forums
I broke up with and kicked out my bf of almost 3 years because he was drinking and being somewhat controlling, and he would act kinda erratic whenever I left to hang out with my friends, a couple, and accused me a couple times of sleeping with them
Now it's been a month and a half and he said he's changing himself and working now, maybe getting medication
And wants us to be a couple again
What should I do?
Bad blood
You can't go back to how it was before. Doesn't matter your relationship, when they one doesn't trust the other you can't have a decent relationship. They may say they change, but more often than not they'll revert back to malignant behavior after awhile
This
What is he even doing to change? I doubt he's even trying.
>What should I do?
Show tits or gtfo. You know the rules.
We both drank alot, i used to be a severe alcoholic, he never considered himself to be one, even just before he left, he refused to label himself an alcoholic but hes started going to meetings for it...he has had alot happen to him when he was younger, he was abused so that's why I tried to be so understanding and put up with it
He even decided to go to an abuse survivors group
Him having a job is a good sign, he seemed so lazy and almost unwilling to help himself or get a job
If you make the terrible mistake of dating him again, you'll just find yourself back in the same place you were when you first dated him. Don't do it.
That is not the rules, newfag. She didn't explicitly say she's a femanon or unnecessarily camwhore. Trick her into saying she's a femanon first.
If it is due to issues that serious then no way is it going to be sorted out in just a month and a half.
It took me years to sort out my personal problems and mine don't seem as bad as his.
I'm giving him the cold treatment, making think doesn't have much of a chance if any to get back with me, even though I think I still love him
He has said he loves me very much, more than anyone he's ever met, saying shit like he'd do anything for me and I am his life and stuff like that
I'm thinking of being his friend no matter what because I care about him as a person but I don't know if I should give him a chance
Oh yeah, the progressive part of the world, where homos fuck themselves, my bad.
Anyway, writing that you've thrown a grenade into a cesspool, we won't get any candy from that.
tl;dr - go fuck yourself with a retractable baton
>accused me a couple times of sleeping with them
So the un-asked question is: Did you?
Being his friend is fine. I think you'll both be more helpful to each other as friends. However a relationship would just bring back old trouble.
kek wut
Tell him to talk to the hand. And give him the cold shoulder.
I admitted to him that in the past I did sleep with an acquaintance of my friends and tried a threesome with those two friends, the couple but I've been on the level with him about everything, I haven't slept with anyone since we officially got together
I did get really drunk and tried to kiss another girlfriend of mine and unfortunately lost her and her husband as friends because of it
I didn't remember it until the next day and I broke down and cried and told him I did expecting the worst but he just hugged me and said it was alright and thanks for telling him and I felt so odd
On the issues side, he said his dad beat him when he was younger, but has a good relationship with him now, they talk every week and hang out sometimes, and he claimed when he was drunk that he was molested when he was really young, and his mother was/is mentally and emotionally abusive
I believe he has severe abandonment/codependency issues as well as bipolar
I am bipolar too so I can't say much about that, but I take medication for it and he didn't/doesn't
Are both your ex and your former friend's husband's complete faggots? Am I the only one who would see that as an opportunity for a threesome?
This just confirms it's not going to take a month and a half to sort out issues like that. Be there for him as a friend.
So, to be fair, you can see where his mistrust originated at, right? I don't think it's really fair to hold that against him.
But to your original question, if you can both get dry and stay dry, and agree to some boundaries about behavior, then there is no reason you can't explore the possibility of reuniting. Take your time. Do lots of talking together. It's not like you have to commit right away. Date for a while and see how it goes.
Just remember that this relationship will be a new thing. Don't expect it to be just like it was, good or bad. Treat it like a new relationship.
One suggestion for both of you: No friends that aren't friends of the relationship first. If your friends make him nervous, then it's important that they know your relationship comes first, and that he knows they know that and agree with it. Same for his friends.
He said early on and still kinda held the ideal that our relationship would just be us, no one else is to be involved on it except us
He did half-heartedly joke about or bring up having anonymous sex or some kind of sex party and I made the mistake of admitting I am open to it and if he knew someone
I have a bondage fetish and he at least for a while indulged my fantasies of tying me up, choking my, slapping and just indulging me with what else I wanted experiment with/stuff I haven't done but wanted to try
He said eventually that he couldn't hit me or choke me because it hurt to hurt me and I stopped asking him to do so
We still tried non violent things like tying, blindfolding and he tried more sensual things like erotic massage which I really liked but I just like I couldn't be open with him with out him getting upset about hurting me or sleeping with other people because he just felt so vanilla
I don't agree at all that he had a right to be upset about it though, he made me feel like he could have been in any mood when I came home
Yeah sometimes I came home drunk and yeah sometimes I stayed out until 4am but he has no right to get drunk and grab me and tell me to hit him and accuse me of cheating
Even if I was cheating he has no proof and no idea what I'm doing so why should he have the right to just assume I'm being a slut?
I've been in your bf's position. Won't change. you can still bang tho
100% This
One of my mates had a crazy ass gf. She had daddy issues, was controlling, obsessive, even when he got a new number she still somehow managed to get it. And she also really annoyed me because he'd stop doing stuff with us because she demanded so much attention.
Eventually after much encouragement from all of us he broke up with her. They still hang out and even bang but they're not in a relationship and they get on just fine.
Bump for more advice
Thanks to those who posted
Here have tits, not OC but still
>Even if I was cheating he has no proof
so you did cheat on him
Bumping to say thank you for the tits to say thank you for the advice
I'm not being unreasonable am I?
I mean his drinking and being irate was outta control, he said he felt so lonely with me leaving every time bit that's his choice and those are his feelings I don't control him
He decided to act like an asshole and accuse me and get drunk everyday and use my money to do it
I just felt so sick of feeling like my actions dictated his emotions
I'm not in the wrong, right?
Not at all. Also the fact he used your money is pretty beta.
bitch, you are keeping facts from us
you are speaking from a guilty conscience and you want us to validate your side of the story...
show us your tits with a timestamp or get the fuck out of here...
Jesus Christ newfags get your fucking heads out of your ass
No I didn't and I told him that many times until I wanted to scream at him, and I will not admit to something I didn't do
Even though I've told him a hundred times, he still thinks something's going on to which I say that's his problem
He's has said he thinks I'm being very inconsiderate of him to which I say I wouldn't have stayed with him throughout all our shit if I didn't
I've known this couple a long time, my best friend for almost 15 years now, and her now husband for almost as long
He's 51 and she's my age, 24 so I can't understand why he thinks I'd sleep with someone I almost consider my sister or someone twice my age, it's gross
>demanding tits from someone who could be a faggot for all you know
>replying then demanding tits
The newfaggotry is strong with this one
But since this is brought up if OP is cheating she (or he) might as well say it. We are after all anonymous.
Stay away OP that quote is used by guys who haven't changed
can confirm, i say it solely to fuck all my ex's when i kick the new ones to the curb
>He's 51 and she's my age, 24 so I can't understand why he thinks I'd sleep with someone I almost consider my sister or someone twice my age, it's gross
Didnt you say you already had a 3some with them?
I think she has cheated but is not saying it here and dosnt think it is relavent cuz her ex has no prove
I been with my bitch for 8-9 years
we been together that long cuz we work thru our problems cuz we loves each other.
There's a difference between a few problems and a controlling partner/jealous partner.
I'm this user btw. So trust me when I say this. It was a nightmare for me and his other friends and we weren't even the ones dating her.
kys. it's the only way
What a great picture this is.
>pass user
shitniggerwtfrudoin?!?
I've ready most of the replies here, and honestly, I'm on your bf's side.
The guy has a drinking problem, a past history of sexual abuse and (clearly from both of these) some severe issues surrounding trust and betrayal.
You have a drinking problem, a past history of threesomes and flirting bad enough to end friendships and (clearly from both of these) some severe issues with taking responsibility for your fucking actions.
You know he had trust issues, yet you go out until 4am and come home too drunk to stand and get pissy with him. You've told him about prior promiscuity with people, then continue to see them alone while he sat at home dealing with the depression that comes from repressed sexual abuse. You know he has trust issues and know he has prior reson to doubt you, yet you make HIS illness and HIS trauma all about YOUR feelings. GTFO.
In all likelihood, you were as much of a crutch to him as the booze was. His attempting to return is probably a relapse into prior, destructive, patterns. The poor fucker needs to stay away from your toxic, self-obsessed ass if he wants any shot at recovery.
i agree with this guy. Well said
All relationships are different
I was that jealous type guy but she put up with it and made me trust her.
Sounds like op aint up for doin the same with her man
>tl;dr
faggot
Yeah, but I wasn't on medication yet and I was crazy, plus I haven't ever had sex with them or anyone while we were together
To be fair to the guy it does sound like he is trying
Going to the meetings
I think both of you need to stop the drinking tho or else its prolly just gonna turn into a destructive relationship again.
Its not really fair if he stops drinking that you carry on and will most likely lead to him drinking again.
I think this is the first time in Sup Forums history someone's actually changed their opinion on something. I was speaking against getting back with him (but still being his friend) but you do have a damn good point, user.
Also this is a great point. It goes both ways.
That post says he needs to stay away from her lol
I dont think i would work out between you two unless if you are both sober.
I know what its like to stop drinking. I was a total pisshead. Now I havnt had a drink for about 5-6 years and I dont regret it all.
Totally forgot about alcohol after being sober a year. The first few months of not drinking was the hardest doe
Op here, done asking for advice
Thank anyway I guess
Now those are nice tits
are they yours or nope