Walk into your bedroom

>Walk into your bedroom
>You find Chloe Moretz on your bed
Wat do???

run for my life

Assume this is not my room I entered or that I'm likely high as fuck.

Quietly exclaim "what the fuck" and ask her what she's doing here. Then worry about my room being messy and get embarrassed.

call to the animal patrol

WHY
ARE YOU WEARING SHOES
ON THE GODDAMNED BED
YOU IDIOT

Ask her to open some Jars i have

"Why the fuck are you in my room, and what kind of blanket is that? It looks soft as fuck."

Just straight up anal rape her.

Pic related

hello police?

cook her eggs

Ask if I can give her the "ol' lickaroo"

Thank god first of all.
Secondly I probably stutter and ask with no small amount of shock and excitement "why-why are you here?!"
Tears welling in my eyes already.
I assume just like in my dreams I just ravage her, against her will or not.
Eventually she always succumbs to her fleshs desires and we end up the happiest couple on earth.
I'll have a hard time leaving my wife, who has been so good to me.
But I'll use some of Chloe's money to set her up well once I leave for Hollywood with my a-list cum dump queen.

open her and search for a cold beer

Specifically her eggs?
Or you're going the cook her some eggs.

I would kindly ask her to leave.

...

GAYFISH

lmao

>You're rich, right?
>Can I have about $100,000? We can do anything you want if I can.
>We can even do butt-stuff.

make her dress up as hit girl and then wed play pretend karate masters and eat teddy grams

Will she absolutely HAVE to eat the eggs?

Offer her a cup of tea

Enlighten her about how corrupt Hillary Clinton is. Like most celebrities, she probably won't listen because she's so detached from the real world and is a puppet to her manager and the media. At least I tried.

Hi, you'r home early today, that's nice. Is dinner ready?

Elh

Hi how can I help you?

Shoot her and call the cops, as she is on my property and obvious is trespassing.

Are you referring to that video about consent where they use tea as a euphemism for sex?

Ask her if she wants a cup of coffee maybe...

Looks like somebody's about to get BLACKED. Maybe offer her an orange afterwards.
>pic related
>I have this body-type

i know people like to hate on her now but in all honesty if she was offering I would smash that pussy and hope she falls in love with me so she can be my sugar momma

GRAB A SNACK

would rather have avril in my bedroom tbh fam

...

scream how the fuck did you get in my house

I tell her to get the fuck out, bcs my GF is way hotter than Chloe

Bruh, she set the standard for girls 14 years ago for me. I remember being in second grade when her first album dropped. I'm 21 now and still haven't found my 11/10 qt3.14 avril.

A blonde sexy girl has broken into my house send help

would be neat to play that guy on fallout 4. can anyone make that character?

kek

...

I suppose I'd take out my 9mm and point it at her head, and then summon the police, as I would do with any intruder.

i feel you m8

I will make that face

I would offer her a donut.

>I remember being in second grade when her first album dropped
my boy, you're not a man yet, live your life and quit trying to play adult because you were raised by mtv

I see what u did there

Ask "her" to leave.

...

...

wtf? I thought school started already why is still so summer in here.

Wrong person, fucking moron

Call cops, sue her for all her money.

...

?

fuck the shit outta her, i dont care if she looks like a fuckin refrigerator

Nigga youre the one who gets blacked. Fucking twink

sex would occur on some level

is this now an avril thread?

I'm not a twiiiiiink. I really enjoy being thin.

yes

Tie her up, put her in a collar, throat fuck her. Take pictures and videos of her naked and getting fucked and post them to Sup Forums, write lewd stuff on her body, turn her into a mewling degenerate cum slut

good

I'd do a lot of things... but I'd probably move into a different room, just in case there were cameras installed in my absence.

man she really looks liek shit now

Very good

And it's fine to enjoy being thin, it's just that looking like that makes you a twink

cant believe she married nickelback

Time is friend to no woman, user.

She left him for me

indeed

Except Kate beckensale and Elizabeth Hurley. They both looked weird when they were young.

Is this shooped?

kek

...

...

Call the police. There's a fat and ugly intruder in my house.

World class dsl still

Ask how a whale survived out of water

Ask her politely to leave so I can invite an attractive girl to my bed

...

Don't lie. Your spegetti would be all over the floor

good one toddler

Just go ask your mom

Think to myself "why the hell is there a fridge on my bed?"

yup

...

I doubt that, user.

maybe the spaghetti from last night's dinner

>Never talked to girls. Never fucked a celeb. Lives with your mother.

Don't assume everyone is like fat and ugly losers like you.

Shoot her dumb ass for trespassing.

See
Cucks

It's so cute how she used to bra stuff.

See this picture from 2002

>Don't assume everyone is like fat and ugly losers like you.
What

Underrated post

Now look at this one

Same year.

I am a firm believer that anything more than a handful is a waste.

I like her tiny hiney

Would tip my Fedora and enlighten her