You wake up in a forest. Can't remember what happened or who you are. There's no sounds of civilization (e.g., cars, people). Your watch is broken but it feels like morning. Behind you the sound of rushing water and in front of you the trees seem to clear quite a bit.
Roll for action. First post with last digit greater than 7 chooses.
i rape dogs
check pockets for stuff
You've got a rusty old fork. No wallet, no cell phone. Empty belly.
>ram into a tree
>memory comes back
>go home
>shitpost
Walk into the clearing
Re-roll
investigate water source
C'mon guys. Weak rolls.
go in the direction where the water comes from
I give up
Rolling
>unzip pants
>jerk off
>cum and go back to sleep
Check if I have a big cock
jack off
You give up. The situation gets to you. You grab the fork and stab yourself in the face. You lie in the ground, left eye bleeding like a broken faucet.
Fap, like I do every time I wake up
Your bloody eye gets you exceptionally aroused. You drop your pants and jack off, the blood from your missing eye makes for a good lubricant. Your post coital nap is interrupted by a gun shot. You look around, it came from the direction of the rushing water.
masturbate
Eat grass from the trees so i can survive
kill myself,go to hell,and start a new adventure there
Trips win above all
roll
Already fapped.
Then fap again you degenerate
but trips, so fap again.
Fair enough.
The danger arouses you again. You hide behind a tree and start yanking it again. As you start to go faster the bushes around you rustle. A large figure approaches as you ejaculate again.
Split up and look for clues
I stare at my watch.
Why the fuck am I wearing a watch? Who the fuck wears a watch?
Try to approach the large figure and fuck it
Shit and stuff it down my urethra
Alright this is fucking ridiculous. Peace out, cock mongers.
This is why we cant have nice things.
Holy shit haven't genuinely laughed on this board in ages
...
Fuck you OP, I'm taking charge
You're alone in your apartment when you hear a banging on the door. What do?
Check if my ass has cum on it
Kek
No, not even gay men would sleep with you. What now?
Check my ass again, just in case