It's 3:40 AM, you wake up and head to the kitchen to get some late night snacks, but as soon as you turn on the lights...

It's 3:40 AM, you wake up and head to the kitchen to get some late night snacks, but as soon as you turn on the lights, you see him. What do you do?

ask if he's hungry too

Ask Jesus where's the tortillas, taco meat, mexican cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and sour cream? Oh, and a Jaritos would be great too.

wake up

wow jesus you're pretty white for a mediterranean jew

Water into wine, meow!

Tongue punch his holy fartbox.

Woah. It's white Jesus from Europe.

I'd ask him how the Bible was so wrong and he's really not from the Middle East, but from England.

I hope this isn't your crusade

Lamentations 4:7

I'll take "verses written before Jesus existed" for 1000
also
>their bodies more ruddy than rubies
-lamentations 4:7

Ask why a Euro male with a weird hat is in ah nigga's crib

Her Nazarites were purer than snow, they were whiter than milk, they were more ruddy in body than rubies, their polishing was of sapphire:

ruddy means reddish essentially, healthy red tone. only whites have this feature.

but what you are doing is idolizing whiteness, should be honoring God.

oh ok

alright

Fuck your blood thirsty egotistical mythical God.

Found the Heretic.

that's great buddy but jesus was a jew from the mediterranean region so he was olive skinned. jews didn't become white until after the diaspora when they intermingled with european populations.

If you understood him, you would reread what you just typed, and felt stupid. But you don't, so it's fine.

I'd ask him why all the iconery of his mom looks so much like a vagina.

Like lapis lazuli? Blue Jesus?

I think I need to sit down.

...

shoot the intruder.

That's me. Right proud too. Blasphemy is a blast for me.

get snacks, eat them, and go back to bed.

what kind of stupid question is that?

you misunderstand the term jew, firstly.


Romans 2:29
Philippians 3:3
Galatians 3:16

Tell him the wifi password and ask if he is planning to stay the night or just wandering around.

How do you spot an atheist?

The same way you spot a vegan.

You don't even have to ask.

you sound euphoric

How can you understand that which never existed? Even Paul, who supposedly wrote most of the NT never met your JC, only his ghost on the road to Damascus. Imagine me acting like an authority on you? I've never met you but, nevermind, let me write a fucking TOME...

Ask Him what took Him so long

pass the snacks Jesus, I'm hungry, wait!, I need to take a piss first.

Triggered much cupcake?

The NT is a collection of recorded scripture, you trivialize this. As if it's importance has absolutely nothing to do with you. I assure you, this has to do with all mankind.

Nah, I really don't. Originated as polytheistic canaanites. Canaan. Middle East

Boo, Halloween is over assnuts. Your bs threats don't bother me.

Whoah!

Don't cut yourself on hat edge faggot.

Why don't you go jerk off to dawkins or sumthing?

I'm abandoing thread anyways.

Poor quality thread.

Saged.

Hug and kiss him then say I love you

Not him but thanks

You mean I'm not the only non-believer.?

Caanan worshiped Satan.

Acts 7:43 "Yea, ye took up the tabernacle of Moloch, and the star of your god Remphan, figures which ye made to worship them: and I will carry you away beyond Babylon."

Amos 5:26 "But ye have borne the tabernacle of your Moloch and Chiun your images, the star of your god, which ye made to yourselves."

look up the star of Remphan on google images, find out.

get some more drugs
obviously the last batch was a good one

Satan is not the evil character in your bible. Your god is. Who drowns all but 8 people? God
Who tells Abraham to gut his son and burn him on a pile of sticks? God
Who sends three she-bears to maul 42 children to death? You guessed it, your deity

I'm aware of the gods that canaanites and ancient Hebrews worshipped. Pick up a book called "Yahweh and the gods and goddesses of Canaan", might learn something

Ha-Satan in Job is actually not a devil, but a member of yahweh's divine council, the "sons of el". El was the head of the Canaanite pantheon, who Yahweh subsumed attributes of as the Israelites moved toward monotheism. That pantheon became the Yahweh's divine council, the sons of el

The same God who has died for, even your sins. God knows what he does and why he does it. He is just. Like it or not, those in opposition to the creator of all life, can never win. He is the path, the truth, the door, he heals, brings whoever he wants from the dead. He has this power. He wants none of us to perish, but different times equalled different laws, the punishment for sin then was death. The law today is simple, love everyone as he loved us.

but mostly white pride world wide amirite?

In the OT, when your god ordered his genocides and put you and your loved ones to the sword, he was finished tormenting you. Not so in the NT. It takes meek and mild Jesus to come up with eternal torture. You are obviously brain washed to this belief. Carry on...

I stopped hearing voices in my head years ago, I was hoping my mild schizophrenia was gone. Looks like its back.

Reasons. Your frustration is off putting frankly. He is what he is.

I ask him if he wants to join me for some tacos and a beer.

A monster that would be far more sinister than Hitler and you want to grovel at his feet for eternity. A being like that is not worthy of praise but condemnation. Thankfully, he's not real.

When God makes a judgement, his judgement is clear, and pure. He sees the trajectory of your seed, your choices. All you see if your life, this one life. He sees ALL life, all times, all future. HE IS the life. The giver of life.

For all you know, those deaths then, represent your joy today, but you wouldn't know it, or even take it for granted. Like most of us take the actions of the military for granted, but without their sacrifices, you wouldn't even be shitposting here.