Going to go shower

Going to go shower
Sup Forums decides how I masturbate
(Am obviously a dood)

Use Head and Shoulders as lube

You don't.

Smear shit on your moobs, and masturbate while sniffing your moms dirty panties.

Don't tell me what to do if it does not involve touching myself

Rollerino

Already tried that, seriously not that fun

Rolling

Try again

Use Hot Cheeto's dust as lube

Stick your dick in the drain

Roles Royce

Shove the bar of soap up your ass

Romain Rolland

shower head up butt. soap is lube

Winrar

Reroll

Winrarrr

Use habanero hot sauce as lube.

Slap yourself with a chainsaw in the face than run outside along a road of some sort with only a bloody hairnet, six pairs of rescue bots binoculars, and a bar of soap clenched between your buttcheeks.

Do it op

Auto erotic asphyxiation, minus the erotic part

Win rar

Double winrar

While reciting the Canadian version of dust in the wind in your best Gary Busey impression

upside down with your dick in your mouth