Ok folks

ok folks,
a viceroy of the dark one, i wanna hear your offers, if there good we can negotiate for the low low price of your sad otaku soul.

lets hear em.

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my soul is more expensive than you can afford you animal

Literally all the tea in china please

hmm im not so sure... give me your offer.

you want tea.... just tea?

sup satan

I'll totally trade my soul for an eventful and fulfilling life that doesn't involve me being a wage slave. I don't want to rule the world or anything crazy. I just want to tour with a band or get into stand up comedy or podcasts or something. Just give me a guarantee that will happen and you can have my soul.

Some tits to sweeten the deal, too

all the tea in china

you cannot grant me an immortal existence greater than that of your dark lord and therefore you cannot afford my soul

nigger

i want it all though, im sure i could get rich of it but it sounds more fun and satisfying then just asking for money

I will trade my soul for fortune and fame and to live till I am 99 with good health.

i can probably deliver on the podcasts.
you wont be world known though, you will have 3 relationships to pic from but one much later in life.

also not satan but i do have authority to give certain things.

confirmed.
you can have all the tee in china.

but i want you to think this through very hard before you commit

your asking a little too much. even im not given that and im stuck doing shitty recruitment.

Whats tee?

i cannot offer 99, your choices upon knowing this would reduce that number to nearly 55.

there is nothing material worth anything in this life

step your game up faggot

tea, tee, t is spelling such an issue that youd pass up the offer?

i cant speak latin or sumarian or sanskrit either but im trying here.

already engaged though mate

moderate success, enough to make a living and retire on sound fair?

more porn for the dark lord

oh im not so sure of that.

heroin and meth addicts dont seem to think there is anything better. and lets face it, when confronted with our addictions, whether there pussy or drugs or power, its all the same.

Its not like im passing up much, its only tea after all

i said offers of relationships.
you can see tits anytime you want at a titty bar you dont need me for that.

your podcasts will be moderately successful. youll need wage suppliment, perhaps a wifes income to be truely well off, but you will be in your required field.

youll work for a bigger company eventually.

also the dark one does indeed love redheads, well done.

up to you.
i simply made the offer. take it or leave it.

I dont think id know where to sell it, can i ofer you my childs soul for you to tell me the best thing i could ask for?

hahahahaha, drugs and all other consumptive means of enjoyment (food, sex, fame, wealth, etc) dampen rapidly with excess

the only thing that we have as humans that is worth anything is our ability to understand and know things

i want to know as higher beings do, and be as higher beings are, nothing else can remotely compare as worthwhile, especially not apeish entertainment

ill give you a two for one, for a guaranteed 17 years of good health with no illness for the child.

you want the ability to know and see more?
i can not reiterate enough that i am not "a higher being" just a medium between the two.

i can offer the ability to see more, or perhaps the experiences youd need to accept and learn more. would you like that?

son i can 'see more' when i put on IR goggles

i also 'see more' when i open the blinds in the morning

no deal, but i am bout to praise satan with a big fat fucking decadent grease slop sandwich from Wendys on my way to work though, best of luck pulling in the weak

Can you make me one of the best guitar players ever by tomorrow?

yes.
deal?

no you cant.
this offer isnt for the weak, its for the strong.

those who know that in life you could be more than what you are, at a cost.

A nice and peaceful life with the right girl.

Can you do that for me?

More porn for the dark lord!

*they're good

yes.
this is a very negotiable offer.

in fact because your offer is realistic, he will allow for possible future renegotiation.

this is not granted often.

hail prison school.

i hope your proud of yourself.

if he ever finds you at a minute of weakness, he will take as many hours of your life as possible.

I'm down.

We've got a deal.

Now how long do I have to wait to find this person? Anything I should know?

Whats up with the mother's milk logo?

no, funnily enough you've been offered a fairly good deal from what i understand.

you will know who this woman is in three years but im told you might already know them.

because i want you to be my suicide bunny.

Great! Thank you Dark One!

Not backing out of it; but just curious. What does a "fairly good deal" mean?

it means that peoples deals to not end nearly as good as this.

praise him. i made a deal not as good as this and renegotiated to recruit.

i hope you end up in the same boat. its not a terribly bad deal, you will always get the deal you were offered.

How bout a bigger weiner and some sweet drawing skills?

im sorry but i cannot make your dick bigger

Aight. What about making me a better artist?

can be done...

So, since that ain't much to ask for (I assume) maybe throw in the knowledge to summon a succubus?

I already sold my soul to the dark lord himself

What's it like bud? I'm holding onto mine at the moment, but I'm sure I'm going to hell anyway

Extreme pleasure for a short time, i didn't thought my deal through so i'm fucked eventually.

I want a romantic relationship with the one you serve. For this to happen he must change into a hot she. And you got a deal faggot.

I'll sell you my soul for your soul.

no. i cannot give you a lesser deamon.

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i just love this website
no nignogs

good night gents.

such a shame... a harvest for only one... ill be back soon for renegotiation