Chilling in the ragged flagon

>chilling in the ragged flagon
>talking to brynjolf because hes cool
>suddenly that new guy arrives
>doesn't really look like a thief but whatever
>goes to the boss with brynjolf
>after a while he returns and brynjolf tells me to give him guild armor
>that guy is armored with dragonbones and uses a two handed sword
>anyway i offered him the armor
>he takes it and after 4 seconds he sells it back to me
>he never came back after that
>mfw
>and brynjolf asks himself why its not going well for us

take the amulet of kings to brother jauffre at weynon priory

i giggled

Made my day.
Loving the remastered version

>be me, Greybeard meditating on High Hrothgar
>Dragonborn walks up behind me real stealthy like
>begins stabbing me in the back for 47 1/2 minutes
>try to keep meditating but the elven dagger in my back and disembodied war cries are very distracting
>Dragonborn stops stabbing and doesn't move for another 47 minutes
>steals my clothes and puts 30 eldar cheese slices in my underwear
>lights everything on fire, summons a storm thrall, steals all our plates and silverware and leaves
>the fate of Skyrim is in his hands

is this oc? i love skyrim greentexts

a kek was leaked, good one OP

>be me, Working in the forge on a cold morndas morning
>my nephew comes back from the helgen execution
>Someone is behind him, slashing the fuck out of his back
>a prisoner
>whatthefuckman.jpeg
>tells me the prisoner is good
>offer him some stuff to start him off
>literally fucking takes everything
>everything
>sitting there butt naked, can't do shit about it
>see him walk over to the forge
>takes all the ingots and shoves it in his pockets
>immediately takes them out
>makes 72 daggers
>holyakatosh.webm
>drops all the daggers in the river
>suddenly stops and doesn't move for the next three days
>mfw who is this demon

Just typed it up now actually

noice

im loving these make more y all

>Trying to tell people vampires are a problem
>Nobody listens
>They end up dead
>Move to a giant fort to protect us against the vampires
>New guy arrives and asks to join the Dawnguard
>Finally somebody wants to do the dirty work
>Send him off to find out what these vampires are looking into
>A couple days later he comes back
>Says he met a vampire
>Didn't kill her
>She had an elder scroll
>Let her keep it
>She wanted to go back home to her all-powerful vampire family in a giant castle on the other side of Skyrim
>He took her there
>Delivered the vampires exactly what they wanted and then comes back here asking me what his next job is
>bitchyourefired.exe
>mfw

Damn it i forgot the picture... try again

>Trying to tell people vampires are a problem
>Nobody listens
>They end up dead
>Move to a giant fort to protect us against the vampires
>New guy arrives and asks to join the Dawnguard
>Finally somebody wants to do the dirty work
>Send him off to find out what these vampires are looking into
>A couple days later he comes back
>Says he met a vampire
>Didn't kill her
>She had an elder scroll
>Let her keep it
>She wanted to go back home to her all-powerful vampire family in a giant castle on the other side of Skyrim
>He took her there
>Delivered the vampires exactly what they wanted and then comes back here asking me what his next job is
>bitchyourefired.exe
>mfw

im screen capping every greentext here to make skyrim greentext threads for the future

fuck i love these so much

>be me, guard in whiterun
>Usually i chill by arcadia's cauldron
>Bz lyf, bz schedule
>Only downside is, I need to stand here the whole fucking day
>Pay is baaically shit
>atleast I'm not a fuckig khajit, living outside the walls an sheit- is qhat i tell myself
>One day this weird fucking guy comes to town
>Looks suspicious as fuck
>Not in the mood for any problems today
>Guy comes right in front of me and just stands there
>Think he's trying to say something
>'Go bother somebody else' is what I say.
>Don't have time for any clowns today
>Guy walks a bit further away
>Stands there like a statue for about an hour or so
>Can't be arsed
>Other guards passed by him too
>He ain't none of my problem
>suddenly this clown walks right past me
>Look back, he's just standing there
>Don't give him any attention
>faggot doean't go away
>starts crouching
>mfw I realize that this faggot is looking through my bag and shit
>'Go ahead try to steal something faggot' I think to myself
>The retard gives up after a while and runs past me
>can't be fucking arsed to run after this autist
>I'm stressed enough as it is.
>Guard duty is fucking insane man.
>They ain't paying me enough

for great justice

...

same man i love these. i recall had a few saved don't know where tho.

>me, a simple whiterun guard
>going to watchtower with the jarls new pal
>cycles through 20 different weapons each weighing over 10 pounds each only to have them materialize into thin air
>Dragon comes swooning out of the sky
>divines help us
>we begin attacking while the strange man stands by doing nothing
>mystery warrior finally acts and kills the dragon with a dozen arrows
>the dragon bursts into flames and the savage sucks the dragons skin and muscle tissue into his body
>he unleashes a blast of demonic energy from his mouth, humps the dragon skeleton and vanishes
>I shouldn't have drank that bathtub mead

6/10
8/10
basically a retext of an old one so 0
7/10
tf is this 3/10
9/10 best one so far

what the hell man, mine wasnt a 6/10 it got the most positive replies.

It was good just coulda been better

thats cause youre op

Then you rate them

>be me, just running my shop
>One day this weird looking guy comes in
>asks me whats for sell
>Tell him that i buy and sell almost anything and everything
>without any hesition, guy suddwnly pulls out like a ton of loot out of thin air
>wutface.jpg
>Even before i understand anything he's giving me swords, sheilds, ores, etc.
>To my surprise i find out that i don't have any money left
>guy starts buying shit for me on exchange
>good old fashioned barter
>after he leaves I realize that I'm now stuck with a huge pile of junk and no money

>Be me, early 20s, fresh faced young woman with hopes and dreams; serve under Jarl Balgruuf
>Steady diet of grilled leeks and alto wine
>Shit starts to hit the fan with the Stormcloaks and Imperial Legion
>Hear every bandit, rabbit, wolf and elk from riverwood to whiterun has been slaughtered
>Rumors of bodies appearing everywhere with no clothes, sometimes in awkward positions almost like decorations
>Hear some stranger arrived saying he has news about dragons
wat.jpeg
>Proceeds to enter Dragons reach and jump on our dining tables kicking silverware and grilled leeks everywhere
>Everyone stares at him, he doesn’t care
>Really just kicked my fucking food halfway across the building
>Irileth checks him, thought she was going to kill him and put an end to it
>asks him to approach the Jarl
Bitchwhat.jpeg
>leave room in disgust
>Woken up by Prometheus at 3am and I’m suddenly assigned as this strangers housecarl and he’s named Thane of Whiterun hold
>apparently killed a dragon absorbed his soul and stripped him for bones and scales
>he can apparently shout loud as fuck like Tiber Septim
>All this happened in 5 fucking minutes
>My life proceeds to be a living hell

>Buys a house with all my fucking hard work
>He takes me to dungeons to kill shit for him while he stands back shooting fucking arrows at me and whatever the hell he decides to attack
>Continually makes me carry shit like a fucking pack mule and expects me to still be able to fight
>Have helped him kill every living being from solitude to riften
>Have been damn nearly killed by every damn thing imaginable
>Keeps asking me what it means to be a thane
>He shouted me off from the throat of the world one time I unknowingly blocked his path
>Has tried to steal from my pockets and I keep catching him and he runs out of breezehome and comes back in pretending I didn’t just catch him stealing from me
>constantly makes hundreds upon hundreds of iron daggers in Eorlund’s skyforge and sells them to him, he’s too afraid to say anything
>Keep having dejavu of seeing Adriane Avenichi get beheaded by him, yet keep coming back to my senses and she’s still there
>One day tells me to head to breezehome
>Experience heavy mental trauma from what I have seen with this bastard son of a dremora and dragon
>Haven’t seen him in 5 years
>Last I heard he was fucking a vampire chick while wearing General Tulius’ old armor
>Drown my sorrows in alto wine and grilled leeks he stole f5 years ago
>I never go outside for fear of seeing him again
taloshelpme.jpeg

I'm copying this.

I stand corrected. Best one so far

Thank you sire

It's cute that you think anyone gives a fuck about your opinion nigger

How about you cock slobbering queers stop rating shit unless you're going to rate it nigger/10 or 0/10 gtfo. You think your opinion matters? HURR DURR you're such fucking faggots GB2REDDIT.

Looks like someone's salty they got a 3/10

Sorry! Jeez I'm just trying to contribute...

Salty samefag spewing senseless slander over stupid Skyrim stories

Looks like someone thinks I'd waste my time writing fanfic like some cuck when I could hurt this queers feelings

I'm in awe of all that amazing alliteration

That's not me.

Cute how you're having a conversation with yourself not knowing I'm the one who rated all the greentexts. Consider suicide

Called out on his shit and dips

samefags gonna samefag

Nice try kiddo

i like this one more than the original hahaha

I'm just here for the stories

Good one

Then stop shitposting

oh wow, nice photoshop job kiddo.
Next time save it as jpeg so the artifacts blend together. Also scrub your exif data you scrub

Christ I'm going to have a aneurysm.
Stop this bullshit.

This isn't me