ITT when you fucked up stories, ill start

ITT when you fucked up stories, ill start
>be me, 13 at the time
>always said racist shit with friends to be edgy
>one day, all my relatives are over downstairs
>me and friends upstairs playing some call of duty
>for some reason i forget all my relatives are downstairs
>say a ton of fucked up racist shit like "you're a fucking nigger who should go to hell" and "fuck off jew cunt"
>this goes on for like 10 minutes
>friends goes downstairs to get water
>comes back and tells me that my voice is carrying downstairs very clearly
>at this point i realize there is no more chatter from downstairs relatives
>ohshit.jpg
>parents don't talk to me for the next week or so

bumping for interest

Continue

any other stories op

>21 years old
>start working out every few days at the gym by my house
>become first name basis with the young staff that worked the counter in the lobby.
>develop crush on one of the girls
>one day I'm leaving the gym and im about to walk home
>it's raining
>the girl I have a crush on asks me if I could drive her home
>"YEAH SURE!"
>I don't even have a license or a car
>oh god what do I do what do I do
>keep getting deeper and deeper into lie
>she's telling me which part of town she lives in
>"ready to leave?"
>"yeah okay"
>walking out into the parking lot
>still have no idea what the fuck im going to do
>her phone starts ringing and she looks into her purse to try and find it
>during this time I start to sprint away
>never go back to that gym ever again.

kek

i'm sure she understood

that happens to people all the tim

Not OP
>be me
>20 years old
>always bantering and saying random shit with my brother
>mum's cousin comes over with his kids
>mum's cousin's wife left him for another man
>bantering with brother at breakfast table, completely forgetting that mum's cousin's wife left him
>"bro's wife left him"
>whole table goes silent
>mum's cousin has a sad look on his face
>his children, one 14 and one 12 give me the dirtiest looks
>shitfuck.jpeg
>stutter a few apologies
>breakfast continues awkwardly

I thought love was real

...

>be me back in 6th grade
>always jump and hang off of the bars on the pavilion before running the mile in gym
>coach tells me to get down one day
>let go and flail my arms down and hits some short kid square in the face
>blacked his eye and knocked him clean out
>he also shit himself
>suspended for 3 days

kek, dumbass

>be me 17
>Playing wow
>Dad just died
>Mom tells me to clean room
>I say ur not my dad
>Ohshit.jpg
>She is triggered af
>Idk what she gonna do

>be me
>tall and skinny and awkward as fuck
>constantly horny
>permaboner.gif
>first day of high school
>all the girls have tits and wear makeup and have nice hair now
>English class is morning class
>filled with smoking hot chicks
>morning wood is raging
>going around class doing introductions where we stand up and say our name
>dick is hard as diamonds
>sick feeling in gut
>teacher calls name
>start talking without standing
>teacher interrupts
>"now stand up user"
>start trying to stand really slowly while talking really fast to get my name and hometown and hobbies out
>dont want to stand fully and have my bulge exposed
>end up hover/standing bent over with my ass out like when trying to piss with morning wood
>nervouslaughter.png
>fast forward a few weeks
>got really good at just tucking my boner up into my waistband
>same English class
>morning boner raging
>get called to front of class to do some shit on the board
>I'm tucked up
>still nervous about getting up in front of all these qt 3.14
>boner starts to untuck as I'm walking to the board
>as soon as i turn around to face the class my jimmy john falls free
>instant humiliation
>try to focus on what the fuck I'm doing at the board but I can tell that the other students notice
>my height just makes it worse since I just feel like a gigantic statue on display
>theres a 9/10 brunette in the front row about five feet away from my denim drumstick and i can see her physically withdraw from me out of the corner of my eye
>absolutely refuse to make eye contact with anyone
>then look at the teacher
>she's wide-eyed and uncomfortable as fuck but doesn't know what to do
>I pretty much black out
>finish whatever the fuck I was up there to do and sit down
>fast forward a day or so
>walking down the hall and hear "bona' doo'" in my peripheral
>zero in on whats being said
>a couple of negroes behind me talking
>"yeah the bona' doo' that creeped out femanon"
>mfw my reputation in high school was the boner dude

>be whiteknight teenage me
>want to get laid/get gf
>no idea how to get one
>everyone online and my friends tell me girls like badguys
>stop being whiteknight
>stop trying so hard
>it kinda works
>girls give me attention, talk to me etc.
>never get anywhere though
>try even harder
>start playing super hard to get
>start dressing overly nice, drink expensive drinks at parties etc.
>comes to the point where I'm just completely ignoring girls and just boasting myself
>when girls come up to me I just look at them and talk to them like they are some kind of lesser being
>one qt 10/10 aryna virgin from my school was practically dry humping my lap and trying to fuck me but I just sat there acting hard to get for some reason
>I remember I used to shoo away women who tried to talk to me
>do this for a long time
>see everyone else get laid and lose thier virginity
>get even more desperat and try even harder
>at some point I stop going outside
>I'm acting so hard to get that I expect girls to come for me without me even having to go outside
>sit on computer all day, never go to parties or anything
>I tried being a normie so hard I overpushed it and fell back to the start
>still do this to this day
>I'm still a virgin

>be 17 y/o edgy boy
>volunteering at some event with buddys
>told them i had to piss
>friend jokingly says to piss in dumpster
>whytfnot.jpg
>step up onto dumpster
>comence massive piss
friends behind dumpster laughing their asses off
>hear from behind me "HEY!"
>awwwfuck.webm
>turn around
>it's my physics teacher
>wat?

>from then on English class was awkward, but the chicks always smirk at me when I make eye contact, so I guess that's cool
>fast forward a few weeks
>party at a classmate's house
>lots of weed, this was before alcohol parties for us
>pretty fucking stoned
>femanons are there and one is from my English class
>make eye contact with her group and three or four of the chicks are smirking at me
>feelsnervousman.jpeg
>they start coming my way
>nope nope nope
>start talking to me
>I'm socially awkward as fuck so I say a bunch of stupid shit and try not to look nervous
>girls constantly giggling and signaling to each other
>the girl from class can tell this is going nowhere
>rolls her eyes and she just flat out says it:
>"remember that time you had a hard-on at the front of the class?"
>allofmywat.gif
>freeze
>she jokes about wanting to see it
>I'm stoned as fuck
>her friends chime in
>"yeah user, I've heard what they say about guys with big feet"
>giggles
>entire party stops
>record needle scratches across vinyl
>negroes at party become enraged with their fearsome gonad
>massive black cocks whip out en masse
>more naked black males show up
>white males have their clothes ripped off and are made to stand beside black men in order to display their larger, obviously superior penises
>all the white women in the room get their clothes ripped off
>a white woman stands between a black man and a white man while holding both of their penises and shows obvious satisfaction with the black one, and dissatisfaction with the white one
>interracial cuckold gangbang ensues
>creampies while the women say "fill me with your black seed"
>head nigger looks me straight in the eye and says:
>how dis make you white bois feel?
mfw

>ITT when you fucked up stories,

>lifelong democrat
>don't like Hillary
>vote Trump "for teh lulz".
>surely he'll lose, Murrica isn't THAT stupid
>mfw he wins

You did good not fucked up the least, seeing hypocrite liberals rioting is the greatest thing in a long time.

>stuck my dick in crazy

If you live to be 100, you will always be glad you broke this rule.
ALWAYS

topfuggen kek

>be me, 20 years old
>eating cookies like pic
>decide to put one on my finger because why the fuck not
>cant get cookie off finger
>panic mode ensues
>roommate comes home to find me desperately trying to remove cookie from finger
>"Just eat it"
>I may be retarded

>me, 18, graduated high school
>going home to change for HS football game (spectator)
>see abandoned building that's been there for for years
>realize I've never seen inside
>park my car on the side of the building
>climb up wall to only window that's not boarded up
>see tons of stuff inside, decide to go in to check it out
>find files on students from the last 8 years
>discipline, medical, etc.
>find mine
>it's twice the average size, all discipline
>toss the whole file, get insane rush as papers fly
>start throwing handfuls of files everywhere
>find dead friend's file
>practically nothing in it, set it down on shelf
>throw the rest of the box at once
>throw another box by its handles across the room
>start exploring the other parts of the building
>map out an escape route JIC
>start breaking everything I can find that will shatter
>mirrors, dishes, TVs, windows
>fuck around for like an hour
>spray 4 fire extinguishers all over everything
>hear footsteps outside, voices
>open the front door
>cops
>thought about running
>put my hands up instead
>now I owe the state $30,000

Fucking giga-kek

>be 3 years ago
>be NEET
>gather courage to get a job
>get interview at fish slaughterhouse
>take buss for 30 minutes to get there
>huge and profesional looking place
>during interview he asks me a bunch of questions
>losing my spagetthi
>asks me why I want to work here
>I really just want money
>for some reason I say "I love animals"
>looks at me like I'm some kind of retard
>asks me if I have any pet
>I never had any pet
>"no"
>never heard from them again
>still neet

That fucking sucks m8, definitely sounds like something i would do

Kek

>be me
>16 at the time
>slappin' my putty to one of the best porns i have ever seen
>been edging for about an hour
>parents get back home
>racetothefinish.wav
>hear the door open as i finish
>try to contain it in my hand
>overflows and gets all over the chair and floor
>dinner was awkward

it must be pretty difficult to be that autistic, sorry user

Cont'd
>get to the jail
>"face away from me and strip"
>take clothes off
>wearing bright red panties
>take that off and they see my perfectly shaven ass
>hear cop scoff
>"bend over and spread your cheeks"
>do so and expose shaved balls too
>not even gay
>just like the feeling
>tells me I can keep my "undies"
>screaming internally, so fucking embarrassed
>get into the jail jammies
>given a cell alone cuz I'm young, white, sexy
>they don't want me to be raped
>get to my cell
>I throw my panties into the toilet, flush
>all evidence gone
>start socializing in jail
>make friends
>they call me Bacon n Eggs
>BnE
>Breaking n Entering
>my last day, the family guy/simpsons crossover is on
>"user, it's time to go"
>"can I just finish this show?"
>uproar as everyone is yelling and pushing me out
>oldest guy in there punches me in the jaw saying how i should be happy I'm out
>"at least I'm no fucking junkie, right?"
>guards start swarming
>cell block in lockdown as I get released

dude, what