I just went on my first date ever and got my first blowjob ever in the same night. AMA

I just went on my first date ever and got my first blowjob ever in the same night. AMA

Story OP?

How old are you? How does it feel to know you've gotten more action than a 28 year old?

I'm 20. Feels like there's still hope man

Story time coming just keep this thread from duing

okk

>be me
>20 yo virgin
>never been on a date before in my life
>got tinder
>matched with a girl that wanted to get to know me during the date rather than before
>7/10 body
>8/10 personality
>2/10 sanity
>she works at Starbucks so I took her to get some tea
>we get there and I'm nervous af
>engaging in small talk
>what's you fav flavor of icecream? Fav movie? Fav hobby.
>she starts getting deep and telling me all about her exs and how she first lost her virginity
>sat there like wtf because couldn't relate
>she spent an hour talking about other guys so I was debating heading to the washroom then leaving
>also rude af and used her phone a lot
>got really annoyed so asked her if she wanted to go for a walk...

you have my attention, continue

Continue faggot

>took her to Tim Hortons and bought us some donuts
>was about to head home when she asked if I wanted to go to the park nearby
>figured fuck it if I don't like her I can block her tomorrow
>spent 20 minutes trying to find this park because she can't figure out how to use a gps
>finally get there and start using the swings
>she tells me to ask her anything with emphasis on the anything
>so of course I ask "what are your fetishes"
>as soon as I asked it I was like shit I fucked up
>instead she goes "I like being dominated, eating ass, and watching tentacle hentai"
>half chub now
>started talking about sex
>she asks why I'm quiet and I admit I'm a virgin
>I also give her shit for talking about other guys on our first date
>she gets really upset and starts begging me to forgive her
>tells me she wants to make out

are you a beta fag?

5'11" ehh amazons aren't my thing

Fake af, this gay ads story is for the virgins of Chan,, only they could believe this shit

I am a beta fag
>told her I'm not really in the mood
>was getting really uncomfortable and anxious because I felt like a cuck on the first date
>asked if we could talk about something else
>she started telling me about how she ate out her best friend
>fuck now she's got my attention
>tells me all the details
>almost full boner at this point
>she can tell I'm getting flustered so I change the subject
>"you know tonight's the super moon, should we find a better spot to look at it?"
>"sure user. There's that climber over there with the slide. That should be a good spot"
>go over to the climber and get to the top
>shaped like a pirate ship and we are lying at the front surrounded by 3 walls
>watching the stars
>it's cold af in Canada and in only wearing blue jeans
>ask her if we can cuddle to keep warm

You asked her to cuddle? hahaha fag

Similar story.

>be me
>21 yo kissless virgin
>meet girl on tinder
>talk on phone for a week
>meet up with her
>awkward at first but we get over it quickly
>talk for hours
>cold outside so ask to sit in the back of my truck
>have first ever kiss and make out for a while
>play with her tits
>pull dick out
>says "Oh my God!" and that it's amazing
>see in her eyes that she wants to blow me
>doesn't because just had mouth surgery
>also because we were in a public place in my truck
>make out more before I leave
>grabbing her ass and her stoking my dick through my jeans

Gonna see her again in the next few days and we've been talking about fucking so it's gonna happen. She's fucking incredible.

...

post pics faggots

>not a cuddler
No wonder you're here laughing at someone whose gotten more action in one night than you have in your life. Cuddling is superior

cringed all the way through. good job op

>we start awkwardly cuddling
>was really getting into it
>she tells me she doesn't care if I'm a bad kisser but she can teach me
>fuck it
>start making out with her
>"easy user slow down a bit. Try to match my rythem"
>"fuck sorry"
>start getting some tongue
>I bite her lip and it turns her on
>made out for about 20 minutes
>"user when are you going to make your move"
>"uh shit I didn't know I could"
>continue making out and start grabbing her tits
>she's wearing a dress so it's kinda awkward
>she sits up and takes a boob out
>just pulls her dress down a bit then gets back into cuddle formation
>I start rubbing her nipple as we make out
>she starts moaning so I try to kiss her neck
>too much hair in the way so fuck it
>lean down and start sucking on her tit
>at this point I'm running her through her leggings
>I can feel her getting wet

From all of us, Cheers!

>no hookups
>blowjerb on first date

These bitches

how do you get laid not using craigslist?

>slide my hand down her pants under her panties without even asking
>she starts pulling my hair
>I knew I found the clit because she's moan when ever I rubbed it
>proud af at this point
>"ya you like that? Want me to make you cum?"
>"fuck yess user don't stop"
>her pussy is dripping wet and her tongues down my throat
>I make her cum 2 or 3 times before she pushes me off
>"lay back user. It's my turn."

Now things get really crazy

>without even asking

How beta are you

Pure luck

"no hookups" on a girls tinder bio means she's an easy lay

On a scale from one to beta I'm pretty fucking beta. I've accepted that. Anyways onto the last part of the story

highly doubt she actually orgasmed

What was his name?

He's Canadian--this is so backwards

this

Christine Weston Chandler

>Christine Weston Chandler
LMAO

>she unzips my jeans and pulls my cock out of my boxers
>jerks it for a little
>it's so fucking cold we're both shivering
>she starts to lick the tip
>unfortunately not as amazing as I thought it would be
>then she starts sucking
>full on deep throating at one point
>didn't feel amazing but it was either the cold or I was able to focus
>she sucked me for about 5 minutes and I started to feel it a bit now
>I was no where near cummjng but I was enjoying having my cock down her throat
>then I hear something coming from the other side of the ship
>quickly pull her off my cock and unzip my jeans
>mfw there's a fucking 6 year old playing on the climber
>hear the mom
>"sweetie did you find them"
>boner is dead and panic fills my mind
>"did you find them honey"
>we both get up and look over
>the mother looks up
>"oh sorry didn't mean to wake you two. My sons just looking for his toys he left here this morning"
>my date starts laughing
>"here I've got a flashlight on my phone I'll help you find them"
>spent a few minutes looking for these toys
>can't find them but the mom is satisfied and leaves
>go back up to continue the bj but the moments over
>we laugh about it as I walk her home
>gonna go to her house so she can finish the job next weekend

>not looking for hookups
all the sluts say this

She partook in my fantasy of fucking a black slave girl.

Fucked that up...

What was the guy's name?

Congratulations, you're a beta faggot but not as much as before.

Good story, OP.

good story

OG mudbone

Yes my thoughts exactly. Thank you.
I'm cringey af and a beta fag but who got their dick sucked tonight?

>took her to Tim Hortons
Canadian Confirmed

you give me hope

this
he's trying to sell tinder faggotry.
tinder whores are nasty and disease ridden, as it is with all whores.

Let this be a hope thread. If I can do it you can to. Also not gonna fuck her. She told me she still stalks the last guy she fucked because he ficked her then blocked her on everything. That was my game plan going into this but I think I'll stick to blow jobs and rim jobs until I find a less crazy girl to replace this one

lol fuck that I just want to share my accomplishments with someone and inspire other beta fags to say "ah fuck it" more often

fake and gay.
only good thing about this thread are the comments exposing what a lying beta faggot OP is

Where in Canada mate I'm going to make a tinder account soon. Any tips.

Just out for a rip bud

I mean it's not fake. Believe me or not that's up to you. Best part of the whole night was after on the walk home. She's like "you're a decent kisser so I don't know why you were so self conscious about that and you're actually pretty big. A good sized girth"
That made my night
But ya what sucks the most about all that is I missed the latest episode of the walking dead :(

Toronto. Apparently pictures are key. This girl said my pictures didn't say enough about me. Add your hieght in your bio. If you're just tryna get some put a joke in there otherwise put your interest n shit. Also take a picture with a dog. Bitchs love dogs. When it comes to saying hi say something personal to them. The way I got this convo going with her was: Normally I ask people to coffee but seeing as you work at Starbucks... Tea?

This is how we started talking.

>uhhyeah.bmp
>apparently has a room mate
>lives downtown
>we get on the bus and head to her place
>takes about 20 mins

Right on I'll make an account soon.

>its an apartment
>we go in through the lobby and elevator
>4th floor
>tl;dr
>Her room mate is in her room
>Doesn't come out
>we're sitting on futon thing
>"soo..."
>she's nudging closer to me
>start thinking about the potential sex i could be having with her
>get beta panic-erection
>I have tight jeans on so she sees it growing
>"ooooh hello"
>starts rubbing it
>Ugh oh god feelsgoodman
>Start thinking about my mother, girls shitting, trying to kill the urge to explode right there
>She stops and climbs on top of me
>starts grinding me slowly
>for some reason able to hold my jizz
>Her boobs were pressed on my face so i started moving my head back and forth like a retard
>i blinked and she was taking her shirt off
>tits are nice, pink bra
>gets off me and takes her lululemon pants off while she shakes her butt near my dick
>i think im getting laid
>she undoes my belt and i stand up take my pants off
>boner sticking out thru boxers, she pulls those down too and pushes me onto the futon
>shes teasing me just stroking me a little
>her head inches closer and closer to the head of my dick
>she's just about to open her mouth and start sucking it
>get overwhelming urge to shit
>whydidieatchipotle.jpg
>Try holding it
>No use
>pandemonium ensues as my fermented shit sprays all over her tits
>she starts screaming
>i start cumming
>blast the biggest load ive ever done
>shitting and ejaculating at the same time
>it's all over her
>she's just sitting there on her knees in utter disbelief
>room mate comes rushing out to see what's wrong
>sees her roommate covered in my jizz and diarrhea explosion
>Sitting there like a dipshit smiling
>She grabs me and pushes me out the door, crying
>throws my pants and shit out in the hallway
>The smell is putrid
>Don't know how I'm going to get home covered in shit
>mfw

post actual photos or it didn't happen
i'll wait.

Fucking legend. Hey man abbey man shit happens

They finally kill carl you missed it mate fucking hate that guy

Tf I was on my first date. Getting my first blow job. I wasn't going to ruin it by pulling out my phone and taking a picture dumb shit. Plus the last thing I need is physical evidence that I got sucked off on a children's playground

top kek

Good. That little cunt was useless without one eye

...

My fingers smell like fish and shit perfume too. Do vaginas ever actually smell decent?

Christ, this makes me really judge myself for going through such a dry spell.

You had to be told to escalate and are proud of then having the initiative to do 5 mins later.

I highly doubt she came 3 times however unless she's weird, usually going straight for the clit is rough.

but what do they say if they really aren't looking
for hookups?

I was too in the moment to count the orgasms. I know I made her cum at least once. I think I was being cocky but you can't blame me. I've never been so confident in my life so I thought I made her cum a lot but now I'm doubting that. Either way she was happy I am happy. I started by teasing her. I didn't go right to the clit but she was soaked by the end

Some are worse than others. It's weird smell than if too strong smells horrible but if closer to neutral smells alright and even great if you are horny.

It does get worse over time tho if you don't wash your hand for example.

You move onto the next one.

>oh look you're using your moms phone to pretend to talk to a girl on the internet
PIX, OF TITS, OR GTFO FAGGOT

Nice dubs autist

If they really arent looking for hookups they're either: fat, foreign, or smart. A lot of the time you'll know within the first night of conversation but the girl I had tonight had OK Cupid on her phone. She's looking for a relationship but man she's crazy. She told me she can read my palms and shit and sometimes she can act like a medium. I almost lost it there and went to the washroom to rethink my night. Glad I didn't leave

I've had weird reactions to the way girl's smelled. Some it was like they didn't fucking wash it and smelled like sweat and asshole. Some girls it's mild and if they clean themselves it's enjoyable to eat them out. Some girls its a big fucking nope to going anywhere near it with my mouth/nose.

You fucking idiot it's an iPod not even a phone

LOL
far more enjoyable than the faggot OPs madeup bullshit

We've already established that I'm a beta fag. Why the fuck would you think I'd have nudes this soon?

they don't use an app made for sluts desperate for dick

Is pic related?

>hurr durr she's wet so she must've orgazummd
fucking retarded children ruining muh b/b

she must be real ugly considering you wont post a photo of the skank.
also judgin by how beta you are she's definitely planning to cuck you, or is disease ridden, why else would someone be so desperate for such a fucking loser

Ive had a gf for about 3.5 years, and it kinda depends on the how sweaty she was or the last time she took a shower. If your girl is clean, it should smell and taste just fine.

Yes you're completely right. I made it all up. I'm actually not a virgin. I last 4 hours in bed and getting pussy is as easy as breathing through my nose. That's why I go on Sup Forums. I like to pretend I'm a virgin because it makes me look cool. Fuck off #triggered

Yes. With added shlong to cover the eyes

/thread

I don't have photos. I mean I've got tinder pics but I plan on getting my dick sucked again. I don't need any white knights fucking up my chances. If I fuck her I'll start a new thread and dump it all I promise. I'm gonna make this ugly bitch my sex slave. She's already down to be friends with benefits but she's fucked a lot of guys so I don't know if I'm down. Also daddy issues

Fuck yeah, OP. Nice work. Just don't get attached to your first.
Lay your champion head down and sleep like the BAMF you are.

Would you guys date a girl that you're completely uninterested in just to fuck her. I could maybe do the friends with benefits thing but idk. Still a virgin and I don't know if I want to lose it to this slut yet I'm afraid if I pass up this chance i might not get another one for a while

You make me feel so good user. This was the Shit I was looking for. I'm not an attention seeker but I'll take all the high fives I can get right now :D

No problem. I remember those good feelings of firsts. I'm 28 now, so they're pretty much long gone. Cherish that shit, bro.