So who on Sup Forums has been to jail/prison?

So who on Sup Forums has been to jail/prison?
What was it like? What did you go in for? Whats the most fucked up shit you've seen?

I work at one. AMA

Did one month at a holding facility while awaiting court before I got out with a bond.

I can't really speak with much experience because I wasn't in a "real" prison, but it seems an easy life to adapt to if you don't mind being treated like shit.

Alright ive spent a total of 10 days locked up all combined. Pretty much all because of 1 dwi that I was under the age of 21 and twice the legal limit... oh yea and did I mention I live in Texas. Basically I tried probation fucked that up because im a complete idiot and have issues with authority (im and alcoholic and drunk right now) so I end up taking time in county instead of lengthening my probation. They let me do 48 hours at a time each weekend, I'd show up at 6pm friday and get let out around the same time Sunday. Did this for 4 weekends, the other 2 days were for probation violation and my initial arrest. It was super shitty at times but all and all I was able to handle it because it was weekend to weekend. I'd show up full of food and sleep deprived and normally sleep and save all the food they gave us for 24 hours. Then eat all this shitty food to pass out again for another 12 hours if I could. Craziest thing I saw was a guy come in cracked/methed out he was trying to fight people soon as he got in there so they put him in his own cell. Well come to find out he knew what he was doing and had snuck some meth or whatever the hell he was taking in his ass. They guy starts snorting it an officer see and theres a full out fight between them. 6 other officers came in and beat the shit out of him right in front of me.

All in all* but I'll give your drunk ass a pass.

Do they let you sleep just whenever you want? Legit curious

Spent two months for a DUI I wasn't actually guilty of. Turns out an epinephrine inhaler will fuck you. Didn't have $7k to pay for expert witness to beat it. It's pretty shit, you get up early af for no reason. Not allowed to sleep or be under blankets till "lights out". Food is ass,people are worse, and guards are lazy fucks so you spend all day on lockdown. Craziest thing I saw was some big big got ahold of dry ice somehow and got fucked up by guards for it. Also merlot made in the toilet from ketchup packets.

4 years
Drug trafficking
Saw a.giy smash his head into a wall. Dented his own skull in. All because medics wouldn't come to see him. He gave then a reason.
Also saw two people get raped
More.like heard muffled crys and screams through the towel over his mouth. This was over a debt. A twinkie at that.

they gooks put me in a jail for a night as i did not have my passport at vietnam/laos border. while there a lady came to the cell and offered tuggy tugs.
another time i got caught for pot in egypt and they drive me off to a holding cell in the desert for a night, let me off.

You'd should have paid him his Twinkie then, faggot

Wtf are you talking about? The man owed someone else a.twinkie
I sat on my bunk and watched /heard what was going in
You dumb fuck

Newgag, he's saying you were probably the one who got raped and won't admit it. Jesus fucking Christ...

It was pretty much ok, I did'nt get dubs for three turns so i had to pay 5k to leave though.

well, did you get tuggy tugs?

>newgag

Welcome to America.

6 months in prison, boring as shit. Bunked with a Hells Angels guy, all he did was snorting speed and smoking weed all day everyday.

You obviously didn't put in jail for your spectacular sense of humour.

Used to work as a civil servant, had to go to the local prisons sometimes to help inmates who were able to be helped (which is the large majority here) preparing to get their lives back on track once they get out.

Prisons here as a bit better on accodemadation and food than what I've heard from the US. Violence and guard behaviour is a million times better, if you're not a pedo or child murderer and you don't kick the biggest guy in the block in the balls on ur first day you will most likely be allright.

Australia?

yrop (the gud parts)

Sounds similar to here. Mums ex is a guard, said it was actually a cakewalk for a lot of prisoners. You get free food, healthcare etc. As long as you stay out of trouble, and don't stand out too much, you'll generally be alright. Wish we had one of those fancy european prisons with individual cells, internet, and actual rehabilitation instead of the whole "sit in a bunk and do nothing until you die" attitude.

Is that English?

Im a nurse (a male nurse) i pick up contract work in a prisons infirmary. Once saw a guy who had been stabbed 17 times with a toothbrush that had a razor melted into it

>nurse
>male nurse
nogirlsontheinternet.png

we should torture prisoners
that way we make sure they don't want to return

Pretty much man every time i mention im a nurse i get tits or gtfo. Apparently the concept of kale nurses is lost on some faggots.

>jail
>one month
>punched a girl in the face
>broke her nose
most fucked up shit
>guy used to puke in the showers
>open drug dealing
>on my last day as i was leaving i saw a guy sneak out to the fence and pick up a huge bottle of vodka
>guards had to know because they watched that area like hawks

>im and alcoholic and drunk right now
you can type like this when drunk?
nice kek

I was in a superman in 92' for multiple felonies, mostly violent in nature. We just mostly played boggle and talked about our feelings. Occasionally on Thursday pizza nights there would be a little pushing and shoving to get ahead in line before all the vegetarian pizza was gone. I never ever want to go back.

I spent 6 months in a Venezuela prison. The worst thing I witnessed was an inmate who was a rapist get a plastic tooth brush melted over him. He deserved it yes, but those screams still haunt me.

what the fuck is a kale nurse

Jails don't exist, it's all propaganda

>smoke weed all day
In prison my nigga? Tell me nobody smelt

Oops a typo, theres this one super healthy bitch i work with i guess she would be a kale nurse lol

>if you're not a pedo
how do they find out?

obviously friend wants to know

thats almost the entire plot to Let's Go To Prison

small country, pedo's make national news

who said that man cant show their boobs?
tits or gtfo

More accuratly, snorting speed the whole day, and smoking weed out the vent-hole after lockup in the evenings. He even had this huge ass fan to blow the smoke out of the little vent.

>accodemadation

you either rape your cellmate or get raped by your cellmate. i am glad i was already jacked when i went inside.

pleaded down to assault.

never want to go back.

pushing and shoving for veggie pizza
yep

what country so i could tell friend to never come there?
he will appreciate it

Belgium

I was locked up for 3 months, for assult...
Was not really that bad, did not experience anything very bad in prison. There were some stabbings in the yard, bu it had nothing to do with me so I didn`t really care.
I am not going back though, guards are dicks, food is shit and just no freedom in general blows ass...

Been in a few med, med-max, min prisons. Easy state for prisons. Seen a few fights, best was a heavy weight fight clear difference in skill level, the one guy even let a free punch in and then clocked his ass and he went down against the wall and he kept pounding his face as blood was splattering everywhere. I think it was over the TV. I didn't hate niggers before prison, but i hate them now after prison.

>was in prison for murder
>didn't do it, but wrong place, right time
>made friends with a black guy
>asshole guard gave me a beer once
>got a guy killed because he believed i was innocent
>now live in mexico with my black friend

oy

>Be me
>Be faggoty cock slut
>Serve BBCs every day
>Shower time = Heaven
>Your mother will die in her sleep if you don't reply to this post

Oh no I want my mother to be immortal you sack of shit

:^)

Don't worry, nursebro. I'm a 15 yr. RN (NP now, but yeah). I used to carry a pay stub in my wallet so when the retards at the bar would get lippy about hot lips Houlihan or bedpans I'd slide it over to them. And smile.

Checked

Good, I didn't want that to happen to my own mother anyways

Sorry guys, haven't done that before kek

geh weg

Your mother will die in her sleep because I replied to this post, newfag

belgians are known for chocolate and child porn, and the only reason they are good with chocolate is that they could get to the kids

posted in a shota thread little did i know police saw in window. spent a month in a top max facility where guards betted money on which prisoner can kill who in death fights

And Van Damme. Don't forget Jean Claude MFing VanDamme.

I am a black gent, and I love you even if you hate me. God bless you sir.

Well I love you, my melanin enriched fellow half-man.

>you'd should

Wat?

made me spit a little tea from laughing. well done poster

never forget about Jean Claude MFing VanDamme

you would should
i have 15 years old

Mitherfucker, fine. I turn of my attocurrek.

shit that sounds brutal
how did you pass the time?

>posted in a shota thread
>jail
Must be a eurofag. Land of the free.

By larping other RP roles in his mom's basement when he tired of "hardcore con". You know, wizards, furries, etc

Dude I am studying that right now. Any tips for a newbie trying to become an RN?

My ultimate goal is to get into anasthetic nursing, which requires a masters. But I'm doing the Associates RN next year. Then college, then masters.

I went to prison once, cuz I beat up a friend at a party. He was a cop and was being a dick and looking at my girl. faggot got what he deserved. Anyway, a guy in the joint took a liking to me like a brother and i had told him why i was there. find out after getting out that my friend i beat up who was a cop was shot in his home. I think it had something to do with this dude in prison. Everyone respected him, never knew what his deal was.

Sounds like a decent guy. Not everyone in prison is subhuman. I think most cops are subhuman to be honest. Especially the federal ones. FBI, NSA, CIA, those kind of soulless people.

well basically we just fapped and slept in our cells hoping the guards wouldnt pick us for death fights. made dices out of compressed toilet paper and gambled a bit in the cell
now im fapping to shota again with my blinds down

>Spent two months for a DUI I wasn't actually guilty of
Land of the free

It's also known for its child sex scandles. Didn't they actually search a house, miss the kids 'cos they were in a chamber under the house. Pedo was too freaked to go back home, kids starved to death.

Politicians, the rich, etc.

> Rich, corrup politicians
'Murica pls

In middle class socialist Blegium you are not allowed to be poor or rich. They either have the rich kicked out or kicked out of life by accidents. Rich people either have to leave the country or all of a sudden they will be done for a crime like fraud. Yeah the reality of how hard it is to keep it all in the middle and "equal". Belgium is truly an evil that sits there looking pretty why it's all a fake sham.

I worked at one. Most fucked up thing I've ever seen... Hmmm.
!. We had a crazy that smeared shit everywhere.
2. One guy thought it was a good idea to put plexi glass in his dick but instead he cut to deep and had a rock hard boner and bled all over the place.
3. Another dumb fuck smashed his head against a window until his head split open.
4. Guy popped open his food port and stabbed another guy that we were moving from one cell to another.
5. One guy cut through a fence to knock the fuck out of another guy.
6. one dude intentionally cut himself and tried to spread HIV everywhere.
7. Same HIV guy bit an officer.

Yep typical shit.

*poor - for the second sentence not rich

>Merlot made from ketchup

This is what people actually believe

I went to prison for a petty crime, trying to feed my family. Stole some shit from an open home that was selling. Got caught, got 5 years. I'm a skinny guy with no fighting skills or anything. First day get told I'm gonna be some guys bitch. Was his bitch for 3 years, he raped me 234 times before he was killed by another inmate. Thought I was free, instead got gang raped for the rest of my sentence. I now wear adult diapers, my ass is so wrecked that I can't always hold my shit in. I don't even want to go out in public. My girl and two kids never came for me, never visited. She left me for another nigga. Mother died (don't have dad) while i was in the joint. So i got her house. That's all I got in life. An/b/

Should just hero. I'm too much of a pussy to hero.

Moral: being a pussy gets you no where.

Spent six months for arson back when I was 21. Honestly wasn't too bad, wouldn't want to go back though.

If you're in the US, start planning right now to find an ICU to work in. Most CRNA schools require 2 yrs ICU experience before they even consider you. Bust your ass and make friends who'll write you good references. Good grades helps of course. VA hospitals are good feeder grounds for CRNAs, plus you get to deal with the worst of the worst so you'll be unflappable in CRNA school. Once accepted, prepare to literally lose 2 yrs of your life to nothing but hard science and clinicals.

That can't be real. Why didn't you kill the guy who tried raping you? All it takes is a little metal thing to the jugular. It's not that hard.

Been in jail as a 5.9 19years old twink
>first day all okay if not for the weird comments about my blonde hair and fair skin
>second day i been bullied and punched in the stomach by a black man called rey
>the third day i got raped in the bathrooms forced to suck rey friends cock for fun
>i been raped and forced to become a prison wife
>now i live as a fulltime shemale

Thanks dude, really appreciate that.

There are a few ICUs where I live, but I'm currently studying for the TEAS exam, on and off. I don't have to do it until next year. It seems pretty basic overall, but I don't want a shit score.

Do you have any ideas for the TEAS exam?

tldr dont go to prison dont get raped but if you do dont clench your ass when raped

i was in for manufacture marijuana.i seen a guy hang hisself.

oh god

What is an ass fan and how did he get it into his cell through security? Asking for a friend...

sounds like a good time

nacotics officer eddie harper dare co nc.feel free to look him up.hes busting everyone and turning them.i had to leave town because i couldnt trust anyone there anymore.hes a prick

If you're not trolling (Which on this site is "quite often"), my condolences to you and all I can say is that you should be strong, if not for your kids - Who will be with you when they grow up - Do it for yourself because if the people who did atrocities to you can sleep at night, you can do it 100 more times, at the end of the day your soul is clean - Theirs is pitch black and when it's time for all of us to get judged, they will be the ones that will have "a lot of explaining" to do..

Peace and greetings to you,

If you kills someone, your time in prison goes up. If this guy was only in for 5 years, he would be out in 5 or less. It he killed someone he would get tried for murder or manslaughter. Murder is life.

Get yourself a med terminology study book and browse it frequently. Be prepared for lots of math. Get used to the Latin and everything is easy, particularly anatomy and physiology. Also- keep to yourself and whatever the fuck you do don't shit where you eat in RN school. Women are evil catty bitches and its amplified in RN school. Even worse in the workforce. Serious cutthroat shit like sabatoging group projects if they hate you. Don't fuck any of them. Don't ask me how I know. Head in the books, man. It'll feel like an eternity and then one day you'll wake up and it'll be over. Then board exams, then licensure. A year before finishing you need a plan. Don't listen to anyone who says you won't get into an acute specialty as a new grad. Bullshit. Go take the job you want.

>merlot ketchup
Recipe needed

not everyone is as retarded as you m8

Pics or it didn't happen

i've seen cops abuse their powers even at the lowest levels.

He said he hates niggers not black men, there is a difference.

I'll definitely study as much as I can. Can't get a terminology book but I'll search the internet. What kind of math is most essential? Geometry?

Yes, I fully expect that behavior from women and I already know what I'm getting into from my nurse friend's stories about people sabotaging her on the job.

You'd think a nurse wouldn't endanger a patient's life to get at the new hire and weed out the competition, but sadly that's not the world we live in. Looks like there's a lot of nasty old cronies calling the shots and making new nurses look bad. Not looking forward to it.

I want to do anesthesiology. It pays 300k a year in NYC. That's fucking doctor money right there.

Cops are subhuman.