G-got anything worrying you, Anonymous?

G-got anything worrying you, Anonymous?

Come, have some tea with t-this silly maid and talk about your troubles

Do you eat ass?

...

Alice!

You're cute~

Can this therapy cure stuttering?

I'm shaken but not stirred, and that's how I'd like my tea too.

Why do you still bother Stuttercunt.

Hello Alice

Fuckin moonbitch

"Where are you from, Private?"
"Sir, The Moon, Sir!"
"The Moon? I didn't know they had bitches on the moon!"
If you have not seen Full Metal Jacket, leave this thread now.

Wow this is gay

H-hello

girlfriend has blocked my number for 3 weeks,thinking about fucking 2 of her best friends but the thing is i dont wanna hurt her because you know that 4 letter word

Fucking moonbitches. When do we get our Spacewall

lol jesus fucking christ

She's not your girlfriend if she blocked your number lmao

Ooh, I like it! It took me a while to acquire the taste, but once you like it, you love it.

Are you a boy or a girl

Doing pretty good, hope you're holding up

I really need help, I let her go, she was my crush since middleschool, and somehow i started dating her, i was so dumb that she left me, but i didnt realized she was my everything, i got depressed. She got another boyfriend, a redneck piece of shit, she got her into drugs and now she is just a bitch of the hood, man, i felt like that was my fault, maybe she thinks that all the boys dont know how to love, i wish life gave me another chance

...are y-you still together if she blocked your number?

I'm q-quite fine.

I am f-female, thank you

Afternoon Alice. I'm driving rn I'll talk later

SHOW US YOUR THICK, SWEATY COCK!

I AM A FUCKING SKELETON

LEEE LAA LUUUUUUUUUUUUU

show me that dick girl.

it's really weird to contemplate how much of my own reality (in terms of the memories i have and the way i view the world) is based on a guy playing a toohoo on a chinese image board a decade ago

I t-think maybe you n-need to let go; where someone goes isn't just caused by s-such a thing.

Don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault.

D-don't have one, sorry!

body of a man

mind of a childish fat ugly virgin

yeah, fuck off you retard

I wanted to send an e-mail to you last time but I forgot, can you post it again? And is there any other way than e-mail that would work?

How long have you been visiting Sup Forums?

Every time you are here, my cock starts to get hard Princess Alice..

L-let me pour you all s-some tea, while w-we wait for more Anons

you crossdressing anime sissy bitch SPREAD YOUR BUTT FOR US

J-just Alice, please.

[email protected]

I also h-have steam and skype.

S-since 2004.

S-sorry, I don't cross dress

So strange it's good!

S-so, who needs some help?

I've got a problem with a girl Alice and I need advice.
Long story short she's super high maintenence, and I'm a monkey compared to her. I'm trying to improve myself but I do not think I'll ever get to her status
What do?

Today's my birthday and I was laid off of my job.

Oh d-dear. I'm s-sorry to hear that Anonymous, b-but I can get you a birthday g-gift if you have steam

And h-how does she think of you? Does s-she feel the same way, l-like you are under her somehow?

II WANT TEA! HOT LIQUIDS POURING OUT OF MY RIB CAGE

Steeeeeeem?

Show us somethin then, shit.

Aneki Margatroid

D-did you not like my gloves?

Sorry, Alice... and you are already helping ;)

Don't I always, Alice-chan?

Idk, we got into an argument a year or so ago, and stopped talking. Yet now she's messaging me. So idk anymore

SPREAD YOUR BUTT FOR US WHETHER YOU ARE BOY OR GIRL IT DOESN'T MATTER THINK ABOUT IT

And don't say 't-thanks' the first syllable of thank isn't a TUH sound it's a "TH" sound putrid anime swine.

this is my favorite of those pics

Hahaha, foolish Anons! I have poisoned the tea! Do you wish to know where the antitode is hidden? If so, you must solve my riddle!
...
It's a historical misconception that I'm made of wood, and my second word is made of metal. I live right next to my brother, whose job description is the exact opposite of mine. What am I?

Alice,

I'm having a problem with relating to other people.

I have high-functioning autism. I can generally put on a good mask of faked body language and tone-matching, so people tend to think I'm a normal person intentionally hurting their feelings. I can provide examples if you want them, but it usually has something to do with over-explaining things "condescendingly", or not understanding what people were wanting to hear from me.

How can I explain that I don't mean it without sounding like I'm copping out?

>G-got anything worrying you, Anonymous?
Today I keep having these bouts of nausea. I have to lay down til it passes and my thoughts become disjointed and confusing.

POISONED TEA?! WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THIS ALICE?!

This the MRA thread?

Is it okay if I friend you to talk even if it's for something positive? I'm just super excited about something and I don't have anyone to be excited with

Not so fast, Riddler!
George Washington's teeth are thought to be made of wood, but they're really made of bone and ivory. A machine is made of metal, so you must be talking about a washing machine. To be certain, a washing machine is right next to the dryer, which is its brother, and does the opposite thing, drying clothes instead of making them wet.
That means the antitode is in the washing machine!

my favorite. I'll take mine black.

Excellent pouring skills, Alice. Thank you.

I have steam, but I don't need anything like that. Thanks for the offer.

T-thanks, but n-no thanks

I'm out of weed :(

Daily reminder that anti depressant use is essentially substance abuse, and that psychology isn't backed by science

Can we see the bottoms of your feet, please?

>Are y-you doing any drugs of any s-sort?
No, been clean a long time. Dont even drink these days.

I do. I got a irresistible urge to punch you in your smug roleplaying face.
YOU are my problem.
Stop rp'ing here and please leave you humoungous faggot.

Hold on, hold on. You weren't supposed to solve the riddle that fast!
Do I have to bring another comic book character in to fix this mess?
this tbh

washing machine?

IM DEAD

It's m-my pleasure

Have you been a good Christian today?

Why do you stutter in every sentence?

And yet, through those trials I grow. I suppose you could say even my pain is precious to me. One day, soon, I hope to be happy.

Daily reminder that fuck you.

Wow I'll sure trust random user over medical professionals.

this one is also a primo alice feel

Thank you for putting on the persona of a maid, rather than a psychologist. I know that may have been a difficult decision, but it was an honorable one.

Fuck it, I'll bring in Matter-Eater Lad. I'm sending him in now.
Damnit, this is falling apart because Riddler didn't think this through.

h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-ello d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you (died from parkinson)

Is it okay if i unzip my pants, Alice?

>Okay, let me rephrase. HAVE you done hallucinogens or other drugs in the past?
Oh yeah, tons. Pretty much everything.

Yowzers! What am I doing here, guys?!
More importantly, what can I eat? Besides everything, of course.

...

Kek, checked.

I'm q-quite nervous

I've been coming down with a terrible cough. What do you recommend?

Hahahahah. You still do this? Well I gotta admit, your dedication to the disenfranchised masses on the internet is admirable.

Jesus I just can't believe that anyone is this nice. Call it my personal hatred for the world.

alice, I have a math test tomorrow but I'm talking to you here instead.
I have to study but I want to stay and talk with you.
what should I do?!

stop "stuttering" its not endearing you faggot

why the fuck do i stick my neck out and help all my fucking friends when they NEVER help me?

its complicated

This is clearly a fucking dude. And if not then tits or gtfo. What has happened to Sup Forums these days, christ.

*chomp*
Mmmh, what a tasty curse! Thanks, man!

You are not even close to a real therapist

Oh Alice, I need your help!!

I got this new job in a new town, been here 6 months ago. About a month ago I start talking to this girl who I think is pretty (8/10 but all I want is fucking that p*ssy). And shes been giving me this signals, the usual stuff (texting, talking a lot, etc.) She has a boyfriend (who is 30 yo than her) and every in work says that she is and easy slut, and been fucking with this security guy who is the ugliest in the company.

How to I get this girl to leave the security guy and convince her to start fucking with me???????

You stupid pathetic moonbitch

I would probably settle for being content.

H-have you been to a doctor? That c-could point towards a lot of things, but m-most likely cause is generic cold, flu, or pneumonia.

Chicken soup helps, as does ephedrine if the coughing is too bad. But I'm not a doctor, so don't take that as the end all be all.

I'm kind, n-not nice

>I suppose you could say even my pain is precious to me
Cherish it, pain and discomfort are the only ways we ever grow
through adversity I rise motherfucker

When will you show us your pretty face?

I can't believe your still helping people here. I need no help but have a good day/night.