Are you all comfortable in your own skin?

Are you all comfortable in your own skin?

I'm curious how much effort you guys put in to your average day social appearance.
I used to be a pretty popular dude through my teens and early 20s id say I'm still social successful but in a more reasonable way now, ive got my core group of friends and I get on really well with most friends of friends, that seems to be the extent of adult socialisation other than work functions, imo. The issue is as I've gotten older it feels like keeping a reasonable public persona is a lot of effort, in highschool and slightly beyond I was always conscience that I was purposefully trying to be as likeable and sociable as possible but it didn't seem like effort to put in, just a choice to be social.

I'm wondering how much effort you put in to be who you are? Is existence simple in regard to the self? Or do you consciously control/compose yourself? I put in a lot of effort from controlling inappropriate jokes to looking comfortable on a train( I feel very anxious on public transport or in settings with a lot of potential for judging)

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I'd be more comfortable in other skin.

yea i don't create an image in front of my friends. i am who i am. i thought you would know that after years of this.

I was hoping everyone put effort in, ive put up a show so long im not sure what 'me' id, i act completely differently between different subsections of people.

To not be consciously acting doesn't feel normal to me even despite the effort.
Probably just a sperg I guess

well yeah dude you cant meme out at work and stuff. you have to allow people to create their own idea of you sometimes but you are you to the people that matter to you.

I dunno I feel like I miss something by holding a lot back even to family and close friends, for example emotions are completely non-existent in personal conversation to me as a man. Even a conversation like this would be too much for normal male conversation.

>your average day social appearance.
None. I don't go out unless out of necessity, and if I do I'm wearing the same clothes and only change them when they're far too stained with food and highly noticeable.

I only shower, shave, and get a haircut because my jobs makes me. I was going an entire month without showering back when I was unemployed and showered because even I could smell my own stench.

So, since I have a job, I'm good. Outside socially, same shirt, pants, sandles, and hat. Every day after work.

Forever alone, I've embraced that a long time ago.

none, i just game as myself

> tfw dropped out of high school
> tfw started my own business
> tfw failed my own business
> tfw started my own business
> tfw repeat
> tfw took about 5 years to become quite successful
> tfw 6 figures on auto pilot now
> tfw dress like a fucking mongoloid
> tfw talk however i want
> tfw walk however i want
> tfw do whatever i want
> tfw maga

but yeah im prolly way more autistic than you op, i just didnt want to deal with all of that public cosplay shit since i was a teenager

How do you go about approaching public social situations? Getting to work, being at work etc?

what do you mean. you cant feel or you cant convey your emotions?

Would you say during the day you don't even consider what people think of you other than common courteousy and stuff?

People seem to like me but i cant let people get close to me, thats why im pretty much friendless despite heaving many social contacts in school (24 btw).
I need to control myself all the time as I am socially really awekward and pretty much that guy in disguise. Im doing well and dont really care that much about how i appear socially, it helps keeping up my authenticity so I get the best of both worlds.

I'm pretty confident I can convey them but im never presented with an opportunity where that is appropriate, i hear women talk about their emotions all the time but ive never seen it so I don't know what extent that is.

That was just an example of though, I feel there's plenty of things everyone doesn't get to talk about

My personality is likable. The saddest people smile the most and try to make others happy hoping it would make them happy inside. It's easy to talk to people, it's hard bonding with anyone. My coworkers can call me their friend, but we're not really friends, we never bonded, we don't know each others deepest secrets, and we don't have an relations beyond the workplace. Everyone likes me, they say they know me, but none of them understand me. I've always tried to be kind enough to one day reach out to them, but my hands reaching out are invisible to them no matter how many times I reach.

i care less than what i once used to. i was like entirely too much into what people think. it really removed all the enjoyment and satisfaction from a conversation/relationship. now its like a clean plate. you stop talking and i have already forgotten what you said that perked my ears. i just stopped caring about all that petty shit

i generally sleep until 5--7pm so i mostly go out at night

but yeah i dont care much

i also try to gym every 2nd day so that might be at hand as well

Feels relatable to me, I'm not sad any more though id say I managed to become happy with life, I just notice more and more lately that socialising is a huuge drain.

I feel like conversationally im pretty fine, aside from self censor which is easy, its the appearance of the personality I present that's hard, I can't explain it well.

>the appearance of the personality i present
try to rephrase this for me

As an extreme example, my best friend from primary school grew up to be an extremely white trash dude, I love him to bits, but the way we interact is extremely lower class and genuine, his friends and people we come across don't think of me as some yuppie from what I can tell of their reactions.

On the other hand in highschool I got moved to an expensive all boys school and got a new group of extreme upper class friends who I also interact with wel and appropriately. These are polar opposite situations and types of company and require and entirely alternate approach to fit in with the class. Neither of these feel like 'me' but i am able to fit in with them perfectly, the only issue is when the two groups of friends collide and i dont know how to act.

Used to be a standard user: obese, greasy hair, old clothes I could afford to replace but never did, fat girlfriend, living with my parents, all my friends were online, cinycal as fuck, etc.

Through a series of events I lost the weight, got a real job, graduated from a great program, dating hotties, I've got a tight knit group of friends, I dress nicer and got my own apartment with a fantastic view.

Learning to love yourself means making a lot of changes. This all took me 8 years or so.

i know what you mean. something similar happened to me. I had recently moved to a new place in the world and this guy was a great fucking friend to me. we hung out for years. He and his friends probably thought i was a yuppie fuck too because i never went over and there was a bunch of other shit too but i chalk that up to listening to my parents and 'cultural differences'
one time he brought me beers to drink and shit and i was such a fucking cuck i said no.
then i had a burglary and it really fucked me up. it was just too much trauma or something. my dad said maybe he did it. i dont know what i was thinking or i why i let him hold so much sway over it but this thing fucked me up so much i started slowing it down. it wasn't even a manual thing, it just happened. then he left school to do a trade or something. printing i think. thats life.

this whole time i was hanging out with this bro i was like just undeveloped. i was immature, i really wasn't that smart, i didnt give a shit at all about my academics, etc.
after we just stopped hanging out, i made a new friend. it was weird but this guy wasn't even in school anymore and i just didn't have a fucking clue where i was going or what i was doing. i had an exam for a selective high school that year and i spectacularly fucked it. i always just thought that i was smart but on paper (then and even now) its pretty hard to show. It was a real turning point in my life. I didn't really like any of those other guys and with my bro gone i figured fuck it. im gonna toss them and actually make sure i have some future not just some fucking pipe dream that i never had a shot for to begin with. i hung out with this new friend some more. i became in some sense a part of his tribe. he taught me the ropes i guess and from then well its pretty much a normal story.

i don't think i am comfortable in my own skin, but everyone around me often tells me they like my confidence. i think i'm pretty quiet, and try and say only the most truthful things that i think people need to hear. i'll drop a white lie every now and then if i feel like i need to though.
i've worked in heaps of different industries and had friends from vastly different socio-economic backgrounds, and my parents have always tried to be upper-class people when the family is really perfectly regular middle class people.
i think a lot and internalise it, and i stress heaps and feel like a complete anxious fuck and disengage and go silent for periods of time, but few people ever seem to notice, they often act surprised when i talk about how i feel anxious. i can be really confident when i need to, i've been up on stage in front of hundreds of people and acted very well, and i tend to deal with the "elephant in the room" quickly and often. but i get so anxious about the most retarded bullshit and it's been a goddamn internal war just to get up and function some days.
i don't know who i am at all, but i like me.

No persona, I don't put much effort in. But I'm still slightly uncomfortable with myself in public. I was always conservative with how I dressed/acted even in my teenage years. So take that and tone it down a few shades of boring and that's who I am now. So this sort of thing usually leads to people ignoring/avoiding me, and sometimes without any effort on my part people think I'm a grumpy asshole.

But then again, I just don't care anymore.

I put in a moderate amount of work, but it's because I never learned to socialize. I try to mimic other people but fail most of the time. I stopped being social almost completely when I was 13, due to home school. Never knew how to stop being a young teenager up until very recently. I'm told I'm cringey. Doesn't feel like it though.

On high school being popular was paramount. I lived across the street from my high school and i would wake up 2hrs just to get my shit together. Pick cloths iron cloths made sure it would match pick shoes and hat. Made sure it had no stains
>inb4 cumstains
Basically image was everything and it worked. Had tons of friends and was very likable. Hanged out with the cool crowd and met all kinds of characters.

After high school image was less important as friends drifted apart. Plus getting a job in construction and coming home covered in cement less fucks were given. An occasional weekend house party consisted of pants cool shirt and jacket didn't matter the brand.

Now in my thirties, no FUCKS are given. Depending on the weather whatever i have on I'll either throw on jacket/sweater.

So in conclusion, as you grow older you give less fucks what you wear and what people think of you. As a young boy i would look as my father and laugh at what he would be wearing. Now i get it and I'm accepting my faith.

im very comfortable
youtube.com/watch?v=uDJI70huyT8

Are you me?

Not too much because most of the times I hang out with people that aren't my core friends (with them I couldn't give less of a fuck about my appearance) I'm a drunk bastard that just talks about shit while using a good rethoric and vocabulary to fool people into believing I have a clue.

I'm actually really stuck in my own world and draw schizophrenic shit and write weird poems to cope with my feelings.
People think this makes me deep or whatever and the occasional burst of emotions makes them think I showed them something special.

Hell, women are way too easy, just throw them a bone from time to time and they soon want more.
I dress up the way I want, often like a really poor guy to fool their first expression of me.

I'm a 25 year old dude that trabels a lot through EU programs and acts as if I am close to people while always forgetting about them a few hours later. The problem is when my own feelings get real, then I flip my shit.
Thank god for my best friend, she's always there for me and is the only person that can work against my outbursts

Cont.
I understand Peoples on a logical basis and can still their desire needs but I don't get the concepts of love and true friendship that comes with loyality so I am often paranoid.

It's hard to be close and let the closeness be something I really feel in my heart so I spend a ton of time with my headphones in and being alone or using some women for short intimacy to get my head to shut up. The occasional mdma, coke or speed helps me to shut off too. I stopped using drugs , except alcohol, on a regular (weekly to daily) basis and only get my fix once every other month.

Sorry for my english, it's not my first language and I haven't slept for some time

im in the same boat. i dont want to sound autistic but i think we are more intelligent? i try to talk about big ideas in the world but everyone bends the conversation back to talking about people. its so bad now i dont enjoy talking to anybody but my closest mates. we get drunk every weekend and let everything flow but during the week i strain to understand people thought process. im thinking about dropping my work and building my own company. i want to be my own boss never forced to talk to people i dont want. also its been a dream of mine my whole life so its not evan about the money all though i want money for power. sorry for getting side tracked i couldnt care less about conversations and socialising.

relatable so god damn much... i often mind girls think im hitting on them because i talk to them without the social bullshit. i have a lesbian friend that i talk to heaps at work because she doesnt try and prove anything and is emotionally quite like myself.

be your own boss doing what?

I hardly produce enough energy to put on a persona, and it's been so long since I've actually had to try I guess, y'know because work, school work, everything requires a large amount of energy to focus on those activities. I'm not comfortable doing anything beyond whatever I do around the house.
As for any past effort in being any identifiable persona, I've had a very busy life so y'know, I've been in quite the tad zone I don't see any checks previously.
If I could FEEL comfortable in my own skin, as you put it, I'd try to thrive to look forward to a career I'd specialize in. A casual life is what we'd all zoom for, and being comfortable means not even having to think about that, right.

- sorry about my shitty wording im an Australian
i was thinking of a I.T company, building websites, marketing and advertisments etc. outsourcing any coding work to india because its not my strength.

yeah why not. are you like a contract pm now or something?

hey mate, how do you go about throwing women a bone? i'm not terrible with women but i feel like i really suck at interacting with them sometimes and i'd like your perspective

we're cool dudes!

live in muslim ghetto in paris north suburb
surrounded by al qaeda militants
most of those that are not islamists are collaborators
these people are the scum of the earth, less than 1 on 10 is ok
i hate them all and i show them in public transports
one will probably kill me but ill try to bring him with me when that day will come
im a fucking white warrior

i work at bunnings - but im being offered a trade atm earning 80k AUS dollars for 4 years before im evan qualified, rising to around 150k good gig but i know if i put my mind to it. i have the ability to create, grow and run a company in any industry.

the one thing ive learnt after dropping uni is that the answer will never stare you in the face. you got to jump into the deep end and keep going.
i hate using the word but i desire the entreprenur life.

side note - its so easy to branch out into other areas of techonolgy and make money.

thank you for responding.

me again. - do you find overwhelmed in social situations in groups but as soon as its one on one i have allot of power and persuasion with anyone i want.

First you have to get the mentality out of your head that you want to bang her. That's important because it makes everything easier and gets rid of the pressure.
Then you just talk to them, find some topic that both of you like and keet it platonic. Give her the feeling that you don't want her but say flirty Stuff. The best way to learn this is to keep it on a fun level.
The number one tip I can give you, is being flirty and romantic but then break the tension by saying something really stupid or laughing in her face.
If she takes the bait she'll try the same and from that point on forwards both of you know what's happening but due to some social rules we don't explicitaly state it till both of you are lying on your bed.
Girls have this mindset where they brush everything of by saying "I'm just being nice".

It's can be quite tricky but that's why you do it with as many women as possible, especially some you'll never see again.
When you go out just sit down at some table with some girls and start nagging them in a flirty and still fun way.
Hell you can even put a sarcastic tone on and tell them "yeah, you're so pretty I definitly want kids with you" or do it the other way around "ew, who would ever bang you".
The trick is getting them excited so they want to know what's coming next.

King play is tallking to girls about how small your dick is and that you are still a virgin. They'll laugh it off because your confidence tells them, that's not true but they still want to see what's in yout pants

damn... you faggots gotta try to be likeable? enjoy your last few years of life, homie.

totally the opposite, i feel so vulnerable in one on one, but when there's a group i can appraise the vibe, like the group dynamic, and slot in like a card into a deck. i do not look forward to one on one interactions at all because i feel like i've got to do so much more thinking

thank you so much for putting this into words, i've fumbled my way through interactions just like you described and then think "how the fuck did i get laid last night, i was talking so much shit", and other times i fuck shit up because i go into the interaction like it's a sure thing we're gonna fuck, and i end up going home alone. you're a legend man, thank you for the clarity

amazing how people are so different. cheers man

no problem bro. fuck this is a good thread, everyone is legit, not a single shitpost

although i gotta say i just microwaved a sausage then put a condom on it and fucked myself in the ass and jacked off. man i feel dirty. someone from work gave me those sausages for eating!

No problems Sup Forumsrother!
Always nice to help out instead of being a complete douche here.

I was like you, always did it naturally but overthought it and by that often fucked it up.
As soon as you stop caring and just do your thing (sorry but the b urself meme is real) then there is nothing to stop you.
No expectations filled with enjoying yourself makes everything linked to women happen but you don't stress the fuck out.

When it comes to real feelings I can't help because that's where my mind flips the fuck out. I do manage to get the girls I am into but staying in a healthy relationship is hard af.

Holy fuck! Only on Sup Forums can this post fit into a nice and genuine thread.
I love this site from time to time

drugs helped me understand that haha.
got my first one nighter.

ruined

First onenighter?
Holy fuck, you are still pure.
I was so into drugs I often partied for 3 days straight and then ate shrooms for the comedown or I took md every day for nearly 2 months.
Made me realize a lot but also opened up one too many questions.
Took me years to get my head back to normal.

still miss those times tho. They were so simple

i'm copy-pasting your posts into a notepad because i have a date tomorrow night, and i feel like my game is strong but you are preaching the sermon that i need to hear.
i've been in this 4 year relationship with a chick and we're so so so close, we know so much about each other and it's so comfortable, but it fucking sucks. i hate her half the time and we both go and fuck other people behind each other's backs. we're not 'official' atm but we're still fucking semi-regular and it's just shit. hence why i'm dating other people. healthy relationships are hard as fuck and they require absolute transparency, genuine trust and real risk. the be-yourself meme might be real, but the true-love meme is a fucking mysterious miasma of misdirected meaning (it's probably not real)

yo at least i didn't eat it afterward

no i have seen many people take you're path and honestly you dont understand the game you played and one. you are fucking lucky not to be sitting in jail or a crack house. i drink and do drugs to lift me up never to cover or distract my mind

No, I have seen many people take your path, and honestly you don't understand the game you played and won. You are fucking lucky not to be sitting in jail or a crack house. I drink and do drugs to lift me up, never to cover or distract my mind.

Have a GF so not much. I'm trying to lose weight only to get healthier (used to run 5 mi 7'30" pace every other day and lift on other days). Girls still try to bang me when I'm fat, but prolly because GF.