Tell me about the time your mom caught you masturbating

tell me about the time your mom caught you masturbating

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make something up if you never got caught, i'll still get aroused by it

She didn't. She died when I was 12.

peenus weenus

one time my mom caught me masturbating.

Sorry man.

youre lucky man.
when my mom caught me it was embarrassing

>fap a lap tap tappin
>mommydad come in look like a big dilly
>say "wittle bittle boywoy needy peeny chop
>before i can cum mommydad pull out knife and cut me down there
>bleed and have to go to hospital
>always lock door now

What happened?

she looked at me, left the room and we never talked about it.

Never did. I always fapped in the bathroom so it seemed like I was taking a shit.

Until when I got out and went back in to actually take a shit and it seemed fishy.

My mother opened the door while I was masturbating when I was 14. She was looking away from the computer though so I managed to hike my pants up and close the tab before she saw anything as far as I know.

Check'd

What's the point of locking the door if it have no dick to jack off with

>be 37
>be fapping to anime in my bedroom
>mom comes in
>punches me in penis
>hear my dickbone snap
>she laughs while I roll on the floor ejaculating blood
>mom bends down
>rips my penis off at the root
>sticks it up my anus
>bites my testicles off
>cooks them in a rich tomato sauce
>meatballs for dinner

Parents walking into a teenager's room without enough warning are asking to see shit they don't want to see.

Kek

>dickbone
Fucking what

lollers

>wanking using ipad for porn
>mum walks in
>hide dick under ipad
>she stares
>i stare
>she walks out
>mfw

this raises so many questions

did you finish your wank?

yet explains everything

>37
>anime
>living with mom

it's a terrifying vision of the future for us all

if you replied to the threads she would live now

She abandoned me at a very young age. My sister caught me once. She just made fun of me mercilessly for 5 years and would tease me about it in front of other people.

momma didn't raise a quitter

> Be 15
> Mom's at work and I can hear when the car pulls up so no worries right?
> Looking around pornhub
> sexytime.exe
> foreplay so dick out ready to go
> hear loud footsteps on porch
> holyfuckwth.bat
> stand up and click the close button on the window
> windows xp has decided to leave this window open and keep the video playing because I neglected to close the 4 pop-behind windows
> realize my cock is still out
> start fumbling with my pants stand up tuck cock in pants and start zipping
> zipper_is_not_responding.jpg
> what the actual fuck
> mom walks in with lunch and sees a close up of some, admittedly disgusting looking, pussy on the computer screen and my pants undone
> keeps a stern look on her face and walks over to close the window while I finish with my pants
> I go to my room until she leaves
> I eat the lunch she left me
> next day she tells my dad she walked in to a screen full of pussy
> says pussy like 4 times
> what the hell
> I'm 24 now and dad still laughs about mom saying pussy so much

do it again in front of her, make eye contact establish dominance...

>29
>Out of the house for 10 years
>Get laid semi-consistently

No. It isn't.

I feel you bud

really guys it's not as bad as you think it would be, pretty funny thinking back on it tbh

go to bed levi

kinda related, I went into the lounge once and saw my sister's bf with his hand up her vajayjay

did u cheer him on? or help out?

how would you even cheer someone on in that situation

just stand there from the doorway clapping? what the fuck?

>WOOP WOOP
>AIRHORN
>MEXICAN WAVE

My dad caught me once. I also caught my best friend masturbating with his dad once wich was really weird.

give us more details damn
guy or girl? were they just wanking near each other or were they helping each other out?

>Walks in to room
>See sister getting fingered
>Start thunderous applause and vigorous cheerjng
>Sisters boyfriend shoots you a knowing smile
>Starts really going to town
>Sister starts audibly moaning
>Cheering gets louder
>Squelching intensifies
>Sister has an orgasm
>Boyfriend jumps up and gives you a high five

My mum walked in on me once, I was watching tentacle hentai at the time and had my hand down my pants. Thankfully she didn't see the screen but I know she saw my hand down my pants.

one kid at school had his reputation destroyed when someone went round his house and found him in the bathroom, masturbating with the handle of a sink plunger inserted into his anus

>last man out of nam
>sisters are all a decade or more older than i am
>parents are emotionally separated but stay together for financial reasons and supporting their kids
>each sister has their own room as does each parent
>i get the basement or i can share dads room
>dad snores louder than a chainsaw and farts louder than a firecracker in the least soundproofed room of the house
>take the basement
>literally just a box and matress on the ground
>open floor plan and no good place for a door to be installed on the way downstairs
>anyone walking downstairs has an open unimpeding view damn near everywhere in the basement
>get used to basically being on display 24/7
>generally time periods of nakedness or masturbation and the like to when traffic will be low
>family is used to occasionally seeing me buck ass naked and shrugs
>sisters are mature enough not to make fun of it and parents realize the shitty position i'm in so they don't give me flak
>turn 10
>find out about doujins one day
>read it almost religiously but recognize that its the same shit kids in movies hide from their parents but drawn
>don't know about masturbation yet but still have the drive to read that shit hardcore enough i'd fake being sick vomitting and all just to skip school for it
>computer is in the only immediately out of sight pocket of the basement that i increase with a fold out wicker wall thing
>11 now
>read basically any new doujin as it pops up on the site
>discover pandora radio
>listen to music on my huge ass studio headphones
>generally ensure i keep one earcup open just in case
>finally decide to try that shit i see guys do in the doujins aka jacking off
>instantly adds a new and undeniable dimension to me already insane addiction
>jacking off to doujins and blasting rammstein from then on
>as previously stated if it was new to the site i read it so I didn't really differentiate between genre's
>home one day for winterbreak
>start my routine

Next time she'd cut his butt off.

she hasn't, she died because she didn't reply to this post

Being the son of my father's wife I was caught masturbating.

...

Never got caught by mom but got caught by gf

>be me and gf in bed in the morning
>she gets up and goes to the bathroom which wakes me up
>seeing her ass as she walks away gives me morning wood
>start stroking myself
>grab phone from table next to me and look at her nudes
>straightup fapping now
>see her in the corner of my eye at the door
>cover dick and phone with covers
>before i can even say anything she says "hey keep going!"
>slowly pull down covers and start stroking again
>she starts biting her lip and rubbing herself
>motion for her to come here
>we have morning sex

>maybe an hour in i'm reading some shit about a shota who rescued an injured muscle girl futa furry warrior from some vaguely arabic rape squad and it obviously leads into the kid getting plowed in his exhaust pipe
>turns out it was cold enough that moms work called off that day so she decided to do laundry
>laundry room door is almost directly next to and adjacent to computer nook i made
>not sure how long she was there watching but she dropped the basket and I didn't even hear that through the headphones
>entirely oblivious to her presence
>ends with me cumming pretty hard to the scene or the furry going berserk and finishing/ripping the kids head off
>goes the 3 foot distance to land on her face, her shirt, and the laundry
>didn't hear the basket drop but i definitely heard the screaming over my music
>no talk about it afterwards just really REALLY awkward
>maybe 3 days later my basement is getting a $10k reconstruction and redo that puts in a hallway and several rooms all with doors, decent enough insulation that a human body will keep the room warm all winter and a drum kit can't be heard, and everyone has locks on the inside

And thats how i got my own room after a decade of technically felonious child neglect.

>thunderous applause

Yep, that's how we do it in 'Murrica.

Relatable

jesus christ why would you not lock the door

Hahahaha I laughed way too much at this.

>my mom died

>lucky prick. Mine was alive and saw me yanking it.

It happened with me 2 but with grandma instead

>family be absolutely dirt poor
>share bedroom with sister until I'm 18 and move out

seriously, once you've walked in on your sister doing her thing and she's walked in on you doing your thing a few times it gets so you're terrified of fapping

Every time I got caught it was obvious what I was doing. Sometimes I feel like she caught me on purpose. One time tho I was asleep in the living room in just boxers. Had to be around 13-14. I was awoken to sounds of the door opening, then got told we have breakfast. Slowly came to my senses, and when I finally did I noticed I was fully erect and sticking out of my boxers. My dicks 8inches now but at the time, maybe 6. I've always been out of proportion when it comes to dick size :P little body, big dick.

Hapened with me 2 but with grandma

Hapened with me 2 but with grandma

Hapened with me 2 but with grandma

Never been caught masturbating.

Well my parents are hardcore Christians. I was too scared to watch porn on the computer (of which there was only one on the computer) because one of them was always home. So I used to go to the local bookstore and rip out pages from playboy, etc. sometimes I would print out porn from the local library. I stashed all this porn in the attic next to my bedroom. I even had bestiality horse porn, like girls fucking huge horse cocks. I did this for years until they decided to change the insulation in the attic, behind which I kept my porn. Well they found it and they both came upstairs after I got back from school and told me that porn is the devils work and that I have to start going to church not only every Sunday but also every Wednesday. They said the bestiality was one of the most deviant sins and that if I don't change my ways I'll be going to hell.

Needless to say, I am now a sex addict and am bi and couldn't wait to get the fuck away from religion.

wasnt my mother but instead the inlaw. Ended up staying at hers because my place was getting new floors put in so i spent a week there. her mother is a 40 something and about a 5/10, nice ass not bad tits but she isnt overly attractive. anyways the gf goes out, im home alone, or so i thought, so decide to use the time to have a quick one. in bed with cock out and tugging it like a monkey in a banana tree at which point hear noises coming from room next door, turns out the bitch was listening to me the whole time. she walks into the room with nothing on and already dripping wet. she says that i dont need the porn, so takes my phone puts it on the side and instead grabs my dick. this goes on for a few minutes before she just straight takes my cock to the balls. she gags for a second or two before bobbing up and down like a churchill buldog in the back of a tank, and then, out of no where says i havent had cock in months, i gesture her to ride me and so she does. wierd part is i always kinda fancied a 3-way with her and her daughter, but that never happened. instead we had about 50 encounters of where my gf went to work and me and her would fuck like crazy people on her daughters bed. good times

nice retarded incest fantasy user, but you need to work more on the "i think she did it on purpose" part of the big fat fucking lie

Hapened with me 2 but with grandma

haven't laughed that hard in a while, thanks

...

And people say wanking isn't good for you.

>be me 14
>just finished school
>suddenly need to fap
>get naked
>photoshop sister's face into 100 boy CP pics
>print them all out
>arrange them all on the floor
>prop up a mirror so I could watch myself
>keep fapping and edging it for about thirty minutes
>moaning YOOU NASTY LITTLE WHORE GIVE ME YOUR HAIRLESS DICK I WANT TO BITE IT OFF
>ejaculate boiling hot jizz all over the pics
>collapse panting and sweating
>nearly black out from the joyful orgasm
>look up
>realize I'm in McDonalds

aye but what if i could prove it, say with screen caps from a small hidden camera i had planted in her room at the time of said encounter?

edgy mom ftw.

youtube.com/watch?v=6Yy_LLSa5bQ

oh boy this reminds me

>be 14, have gf
>shopped pictures of gf with jizz on face
>did this with other girls in class
>sister saw it
feelsbadman.jpg

That don't work, tried that on my mom and she beat me with a newspaper

Haven't been caught, did catch someone though.

>Be 15
>Mom's friend has kids that are staying the night w/my sister
>1 am
>One kid (like 13 or so) already asleep in my sister's room, other kid and my sister sleeping in living room
>Go into sister's room (I had a bookshelf in her room BC it didnt for in mine) to grab book
>Lights are off but I hear rustling
>"Sorry"
>Wtf.gif
>turn on lights
>See kid touching herself
>"If you want to watch you can"
>I do of course
>Goes on for a few minutes
>"If you wanna do it too I don't mind"
>I start jerking off
>She finishes a couple minutes after
>She attempts to give me a handjob, fails miserably
>"Nobody's awake; we could have sex"

Used to masturbate in front of my grandma... So that happened. I moved to Poland with my dad for a year when I was 11. We stayed at my grandmothers. When my dad left, my grandma would tell me it's time for a bath. She would bathe me sometimes and I would always get hard af fuck in front of her. The very first time it happened she did it for me. She told me she was washing it :P I believed her lol. She would smell it and say it's still dirty and would keep going. I eventually orgasmed and must of loved seeing it happen. After that she told me to wash while she watched and she would do the sniff test to let me know if I needed to keep going. She even came home with a porn mag one morning. She gave it to me and we looked through it together lol. It was some hard core stuff.

Damn...

>not beating HER with the newspaper and rubbing her nose in it going "bad! BAAAADD!"
He said ESTABLISH DOMINANCE not roll over.

Sounds great

she didn't but she caught me full on crossdressing once, with lipstick and painted nails, it sucked..

Kek

Checked.

Your mom looks youthful af.
lucky motherfucker..

is there more?

rather fap than get your girl back into bed immediately

>lay on sister's bed
>take off her shirt
>Not sure what to do at this point
>"Just stick it in"
>We start doing the do
>5 mins later
>"I'm about to cum"
>I pull out; cum on her chest
>She tells me to lick it up
>"I'll tell your mom you raped me"
>I lick it off her chest
>"That was good"
>Have sex three more times over the next few months
>Her mom and mine don't talk anymore

continue pls

hahaha

Dude are you me?
I had exactly the same experience!

>be me and grandma in bed in the morning
>she gets up and goes to the bathroom which wakes me up
>seeing her ass as she walks away gives me morning wood
>start stroking myself
>grab phone from table next to me and look at her nudes
>straightup fapping now
>see her in the corner of my eye at the door
>cover dick and phone with covers
>before i can even say anything she says "hey keep going!"
>slowly pull down covers and start stroking again
>she starts biting her lip and rubbing herself
>motion for her to come here
>we have grandma sex

My sister caught me crossdressing a few times. She told everyone and they have a been making fun of me over it for the last 16 years.

5 New chan, best quality pic's, hot tread try it if u want :) new xgirls.site

...

Haha your girlfriend sounds a lot like uncle Todd :D

never do painted nails, too much risk
lipstick is aight if you got time to take it off

>Boyfriend jumps up and gives you a high five

>a sopping wet highfive

>a highfive sopping wet with you sisters love fluids

this is my fetish

Never got caught by my mom but my grandpa sorta caught me, he walked in my room without knocking and saw the porn on the television, luckily my dick was still in my pants, warming up so to speak, he blew a hissy fit, as if he never jerked it to his playboy collection. Hypocrite.

I'd lick it up

It's way more embarassing when you caught you father wanking

vouched.

ex-crossdresser of 1 year.

2014-2015

think I'm over that experimental stage

old people are fucking jerks I swear

Get the dress on, show boipussy.

>look at porn
>wanking
>father has entered room
>shocked, he sees porn
>nothing happened, he said he wished he had this stuff when he was young