>Autist shit you've done lately
>Be me
>Hungry
>Go to fast food place
>The drive thru speaker is right next to the outside patio thing
>There's a gaggle of qt 3.14s sitting right next to the speaker
>Don't want them to hear me order food and judge me
>Go home hungry
Your turn, Sup Forums
OP, the only option you have now is to find the highest place you can and hang yourself
I'd probably go to Home Depot to buy some rope but somehow get the vibe that the employees were onto me that some skinny pale faggot came into their store and bought only rope to kill himself and proceed sperg out without the rope
You're a prolific faggot OP
You're a disgrace to humanity. kys
Thank you
I'll post another since no on else is contributing
>Got first job in retail when I'm 19
>Was taught literally nothing growing up
>Have zero life experience outside of fapping, eating pizza and playing vidya
>Have to work as a cashier
>Ohfuck.exe
>Get nervous every transaction
>Don't know how to actually engage in a two way conversation so just commit to apologizing prolifically the entire transaction until it's over with
>Due to aforementioned lack of life experience, have no clue how to fold clothes at all
>I would take the bags off of the bag holder thingy and put them on the ground and then pretend to fold the clothes outside of the customer's vision and toss them in the bag
>Forgot to give people their change all the time
>Too scared to ask for a manager
>Just tell them we don't give refunds, that makes sense right?
>Fuck up all the time and give the wrong amount of change back because I'm nervous af all the time
>Eventually get fired for having too much money missing from my drawer
not to rag on you but what's your problem, man? for real. that shit is embarrassing and really inconvenient for everyone involved
stop caring about the pieces of paper with the numbers on them u fuckin normie
god damn
>be me
>no fatty, but no skinny either
>gets fastfood shit 1x a month
>goes to 5 diff fastfood shits so no one at fastfood shit thinks I eat so much of their fast food shit
>goes home, eat and is happy
cocksuck
I was just a socially inept autist for awhile. Probably brought on by a year and half stint of being NEET and suddenly forcing myself into social situations which I knew nothing about.
in other words, you're a faggot
OP here. I've almost been there. I sometimes go to the same place like 14 times in a row and think that I should go to a different location so they don't think this is all I eat, but then I think about how much worse I would be making it by actually going to a different place.
But it's sort of painful going to the drive thru and they recognize your voice and order.
>in other words, you're a faggot
No denying that :^)
thats why I never worked in retail. there are other jobs man
I don't think they care as much as we do, OP. dont know why I still do that shit though. worst part is, the food from the first place is cold when I get home.
That's shyness because of your low self esteem not autism.
I take it in the ass faggot
Your order?
You always order the same thing? Fucking weirdo. I only very rarely have orders that loosely resemble each other.
>normie
appreciate that, bro. didn't mean to offend you by my original comment.
My job after that was at an office supply store, I'll let you guess which one.
>Get hired on originally as sales
>Most of the time just greet customers and ask them what they're looking for, take them to the aisles
>Management says that's not good enough
>INSISTS that I engage the customer
>Most of the time just end up being really annoying and ask them if they're finding everything alright every 2 minutes
>Always deferred actual sales of printers, computers, etc. to the older employees since they were more knowledgeable about the things
>One day they just make me do it
>Stuttering all over the place, fumbling over my words, lying out of my ass because I know nothing about the Brother 447x Laser Jet Printer
>Somehow manage to sell it to the guy because it was a rich area and he already has mind made up
>Eventually they have me working freight in the back
>Place goes out of business a few months later
Continue to eat lunch in my car because I don't want to talk to coworkers for Spaghetti reasons.
If it makes you feel the slightest better about yourself I can get pretty autist too when working as a cashier. I've said some really stupid shit, along with forgetting change and shit. It's hard being a cashier and fucking socially inept
Yeah I order the same thing usually. I always say the # of the item, isntead of the actual item name because I'm too embarassed to say the actual name of the food I'm eating
>"I'll take a #4 with large fries and a lemonade
instead of
>"I'll take a Baconator with large fries and a lemonade
If a place doesn't have numbers, and only has the names of the food I won't go there. Been wanting to get Taco Bell for the longest time but can't bring myself to say that I want a XXL Grilled Stuffed burrito.
Used to order Chinese food from this local place online. They recently stopped accepting online payments. Can only make orders over the phone now.
Looks like I'm never having chinese food again, guys
appreciate the clarification, man. reading your next story () it seems like your social skills and confident issues are getting better now?
>be me
>working at a retail to fill up stuff in the shelves
>goes like this:
>cut open boxes
>free stuff from wrapping
>put stuff on shelves
>on my last day there was a new produkt, sunlotion or some shit
>cut open boxes
>free sunlotion from wrapping
>put stuff on shelves
>while putting up other stuff, co-worker comes to me
>"why are the sunlotions standing apart? they should have stayed in the wrapping. we have a special where u get 2 for 1 but only those in the wrapping"
>pretendIdontknowhathestalkingabout.jpg
>itmusthavebeensomeoneelse.jpg
>it's my last day anyways so nobody will ever know
>feels stupid for not having the balls to say I've made a mistake
>co-worker goes around and tries to find the person to blame
>I get more and more nervous and it's obvious it was me
>everybody is throwing me glances
>never returned to that store again
Used to be an autist fag like you, then I started man out and eventually got more and more confident about myself and my social skills. This happened to me an hour ago
>trying to study
>decide to move to my usual coffee bar
>cashiers, waitress and employers in there are female only
>they always flirt and make their move on me cause i'm not retarded like most of the customers in there
>order the usual coffee and start flirting back
>eventually got asked to take something together after their shift
>moreover got my coffee for free since "I'm handsome and really outgoing" and also promised to receive something else as a present after their shift
You could live the dream OP. Stop being such a beta cockmunching sperglord and try to enjoy the moments you share with other living beings.
Yeah, I'm much better now. I'm reminiscing, over exaggerating and omitting certain details for sake of humor.
I've worked several jobs since and one thing I've learned is the majority of the time, it's not you who is being awkward, but the people around you who make the situation awkward.
Awkward situations arise all the time at work and it doesn't ever phase me unless it's some extreme shit, in which case I just shit talk about it amongst fellow co-workers after it's over.
Become more sociable is a process and you'll always retain a little bit of your autism/awkwardness no matter what so there's no point in killing yourself over it.
>it's hard being a cashier
Jesus.
Not your fault if a place gives their food faggot names
I don't order food if it has a lameass name. That's the fault of whatever jackass made the menu. And in that case they deserve to go bankrupt and die.
this, OP. remember, this won't happen over night. try small steps. smile at the cashier next time you buy something. make eyecontact. the simplest things you can think of. it will go well eventually. move on to the next step from there. baby steps.
my ass got cock bitch
>wake up for work at 5:45 this morning
>think about greentext
>roll over and look at gf, still asleep
>wonder what she would greentext about
>realize she doesn't understand the concept of greentext
>never met a girl who does
>think about what my daughter would greentext about
>mfw she's 1
>can't even triforce with her blocks yet
>mfw girls can't greentext
>mfw all girls are newfags
Fuck life.
this never happened. you are more autist than the OP and we can see right through it... nice try though :^)
This wasn't supposed to be a feels thread
>>can't even triforce with her blocks yet
kek
I buy medicine at different stores because i think that they think that i cook the medicine i buy to make drugs. And also because they might think i have a creppy thing going on for the pharmacist who is actually really pretty but i want to run it lowkey but it just actually make me look autistic since i look like a shaking red pimple who doesn't know where to look when making a transaction, i hate myself wheres the nearest tree i can hang
That's pretty funny man
>be in public bathroom stall
>pull down pants and sit on shitter
>door opens and then footsteps
>butthole tightens up and refuses to work
>they must not hear my plopping
>wait silently until everyone leaves
>explosion
Anyone else do this, Sup Forums?
> Be me, in college.
> Taking a class from a professor that I think is so fucking pretty, she's probably in her late 40's and has such a tight fucking milf body.
> Im kind of a teachers pet, probably becacuse I wanna get in that ass hard
> Start thinking maybe she secretly wants the dick because of sort of personal relationship forming
> Go most of the semester suppressing myself and wondering if she knows I want her and wondering if she wants me
> Having an open study session last week in the class
> Studying, asking questions, getting late
> Everyone eventually leaves besides me, who is still asking questions that I know the answers to just so I can be around her a little longer
> She is standing next to me pointing out a figure in the textbook, explaining it to me
> Mid conversation I just put my arm around her, like resting my hand on her back, but low. Not on her ass, but right above it.
> Gives me an awful look
> Removes my hand
> finishes explaining the question
> Says she's leaving now since its late
> I just sit there
> autism
absolutely
You just randomly put your arm around her?
the thing is man that you actually made a move, most autists wouldn't actually make it that far
duuuude
but at least you have some balls
>I don't hear any pee!...
hey you tried. and you failed. but you can never win if you dont try.
>autism
not knowing how to interpret human signals is actually autism so youre right user
>things that never happened
cant even blame you about the chinese thing.
those places always have the loudest background noise with the person who understands the least amount of english using the shittiest phone of the century.
>be me
>in 8th grade
>first day of class
>everyone takes seat
>teacher initiates introductory rituals
>teacher requires to recite your name, class last year and offer virgin sacrifice
>notthisbullshitagain.jpg
>tfw i have to speak in front of class
>tries to practice what to say in head to soothe anxiety
>"my name is user, one-star last year"
>"my name is user, one-star last year"
>"my name is user, one-star last year"
>seat mate sits down
>"it's your turn nigguh"
>stands up, whilst struggling to suppress autism
>i say
>"my name is user, star last one year"
>i sit down
>everyone in awe
>after a millisecond
>all bursts out in laugh
>teacher cant handle it
>mfw she stops ritual after me
>mfw I was virgin sacrifice
>only order cool food
>nothing as cool as me
>order nothing ever
>starve
kys
kekkles
anyone? everyone.
you gotta be an old senile bastard or a shameless fuck to just blow up the toilet with people in there
>Chinese food
oh shit that reminds me of another fuck up of mine:
>want to order some sushi cause maybe it's better than the supermarket crap
>orders from an expensive store but hey must be good if expensive right
>leaflet says they need 2h do make that sushi and deliver it to you
>no problem!
>notice I don't have any money, so I need to go to the bank and get some
>still-have-time-can-do-it-later thinking
>plays some vidya
>half an hour passes
>bell rings
>shockedface.jpg
>opens door
>japanese guy stands there with a lot of food and demands money
>sweats.jpg
>"um do you take visa?"
>"no, only cash"
>FUCK.jpg
>"um, can you wait? I just run really quick to the bank and-"
>"you no pay?"
>"you were quicker than I thought, I-"
>"no problem, you pay next time, have a great day"
>he gives me the food, I apologize ten thousand times like a dork
>redface.jpg
>never ordered from them again
>that was 3 years ago
>they are out of business now
I always do this too. I hate eating around people
But was it nice?
Shameless fuck it is then.
>go through phase of doing a weird high pitched robot voice when alone
>well trained by parents so ok in social situations when sober
>job interview
>great opportunity
>at large office complex, every going great, hi every1
>told to go get coffee while waiting for delayed interview
>go into cafeteria
>open door, room empty, sweet
>get coffee from machine while saying "oh what do you want today user? oh will have hot choccy thankyou sir" in robot voice
>hear people talking, almost shit
>table behind door with three people
>stay for interview
>get offered training position
>never return because hidden door people
>Be me
>Police comes
>go in hospital
>don't give a fuck
>tell them to go to hell
>2/3 of them leaves hospital
Since I love you, I tell you : it's reality thread to me.
>I want a goddamn liter of cola
Also, not starved to death or else I wouldn't be posting.
I just don't like when places give "clever and witty" names to their food. I know for a fact I'm not the only who thinks like this.
food was good. but felt so shitty that I havent payed, I avoided the street of them like for a year
>Be me
>fight against devil
>with Love I win
>some other souls want to go against myself
>I think they will find love in he'll with me too...
Good luck for love, my friends.... I love Sup Forums too! XD (winner smiley)
You did well.
the fact a "clever and witty" name to a fast food meal will make you not want to order it is autistic enough.
pathetic
>I want to run it lowkey
Sure thing my man
I do this. Though sometimes when it's chocolate shotgun time I let that shit blast away. Always helps when someone giggles.
>implying I eat fast food
Find another reason to call me autistic
I used to do this obsessively, to the point at which I would spend 30 mins to an hour in the bathroom because people would keep coming in. My solution was to take my headphones and listen to DMX and just shit as loudly as possible. Now I can clear my colon in 5 mins or less.
or you could of went inside the fast food place instead of the drive thru
that's not a bad idea
I love a bit of bullshit from time to time
ha, I used to be like that when I was younger. Now I just don't care.
This was fucking gold.
i used to be like that sometimes, you want to be nice quiet guy who keeps himself to himself and your worried they'll notice your awkward and different and make fun of you for it.
Fuck them ! just order what you want loud and proud, if someone giggles or points you out to there friends, just look right at them give em the finger and give them some abuse, doesn't have to be witty, something like hey whale the oceans over that way does the trick just fine.
bump. anyone has moar stories?
>am deaf
>just pooped
>no one around to hear it
Did it make a sound?
depends on how you define sound. if you mean the qualia aspect of sound then no. if you talk about the vibrations going through the air yes
These aren't autistic, just British.
You are a fucking loser.
Do you know how many orders fast food gets a day?
And you think someone is going to care because you order the Double Big Burford Burger?
Fuck no, we just press a button on the register and tell you how much it costs. Nobody cares you kike jew democratic liberal
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>be black
>be osama
Wat do?