Tell me funny jokes

tell me funny jokes

A blind man walks into a bar
And a table
And a chair

A soup walks into a bar

Barman: "We don't serve your kind here"

what's white on top and black on the bottom?
society

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

I got some word plays that are pretty fun.
> You cant spell herassment without her ass!
Maybe not as much funny as a indication of our society, but hey. It'll give you some laughs at a party.

> What do you call a man sent to Uranus? An ASStrounaut!
You get it? ASS as in the ass of a human.

How do you sink a Norwegian submarine?

Dive down and knock on the door.

What's black and blue and hates sex

A rape victim

Fuck the very first one got me

>how did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
>they found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment

he said funny

Why does Beyonce sing to the left to the left? Black people have no rights

triggered

>norwegian

Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they start without their towers

A Frenchman, a German and a Norwegian found a magic genie guarding three magic pools.
The genie goes:
> Hello, I'll grant you each one wish, walk out on the diving board, say you wish and jump in. The pool will be filled with whatever you wished for.

The Frenchman goes first
> Money!
Poof the pool is filled with money

The German:
> Gold!
Poof, the pool is filled with gold, not the nicest of landings but he's happy with all the gold.

The Norwegian walks on his diving board, slips and yells
> SHIT!

What's long, black and smells like shit?
The unemployment line

Anyone here like updog?

> What's something that 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape

> How do you keep a black man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head

> What's 12 inches long and sees dead people?
Haley Joel Osment
And my penis

That's not being bad.
It's like saying, why is team x so bad? Because they start each game 0-10.

The better joke would be, why do they never win at chess.

What's updog?

There is only 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who dont

Yeah

Not much, I'm just chilling

Please tell me what updog is.

Cool man.

I dont get it
Do people think Norwegians are stupid

You must be Norwegian.

...

Real cool man.

Women's lingerie

nice quads

...

How long does it take a black woman to take a poop ?

Im English

Thanks, I've been doing a lot of squats

Hurr durr about 9 months KEK

Even though gestation takes 10 months

some guy walks in a café an plop

updog? whats that?

You sound more like a Norwegian. You dumb nigger.

>You get it? ASS as in the ass of a human.
no, I don't get it

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

This Guy is bagging tail everynight with this one weird trick, and basically your just sitting by. Click here to become just like him.

A guy walks into a bar
meets this hot chick, comes over, says hi
she seems interested
they get along and all that
they go over to...his house
they have a few drinks, chat, and straight to banging after
once they're done they stay in bed
the man says "do you wanna see a magic trick?"
"sure" the woman says
the lights go off, suddenly you can hear door knob being turned
"what the fuck?" she says out loud
turns on the lights
he gone
stays till the morning hoping he gets back
wakes up, suddenly...
...knock on the door
its the cops, they burst into the building
"get on the ground now!"
so she does
they search the apartment
find a kilo of cocaine in her purse
off to jail she goes
turns out she got knocked up by the guy
had the kid in prison
the kid is black, tried flushing down the toilet
won't work, gotta raise it
she got her family to raise the kid
12 years later she got out
come back to her kid, says "hi, do you remember me?"
kid rushes into his room with tears in his eyes
"das not rite, she be gon fo' too long! I ain't got no moda"
kid turns on the computer
goes online, enters his favorite website
starts a thread "tell me funny jokes"

Why are you so mad

>What do you call a Mexican midget?
"A Paragraph". Because he's too short to be called an Essay

Why did chick cross road?

Penis.

most norwegians are dumb and ignorant like stupid amerifags.and i consider myself one of the smarter norwegians. and the norwegian jokes are funny. i like it.

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

Women deserve equal pay.

trump won

What does a Mexican kid get for his birthday?

Your bike.

Women's rights.

How do you fit 15 jews in a car?


>in the ashtray

Whats the different between a jew and a pizza


>a pizza dose not scream when you put them in the oven

What kind of sick mind would rape a black person?

A Jew, Mexican and nigger walk into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says, "get the fuck out"

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench?

>A park bench can support a family of 4.

Because you insist on denying your Norwegianness.

Someone who likes his nigger blue

Kek

What's pink and dusty?

>madeleine mccann's bike

good one. if he keeps denying he is even more norwegian.

kek

whats black on top and white on the bottom?
Rape

What do black people get after sex?

>25 years in prison

What's white and eats pussy?

>cervical cancer

What's 9 inches long, pink, and my girlfriend screams when I put it in her mouth?

>Her miscarriage

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do whatever a man does?

>Wrong

How could she scream with a dead fetus in her mouth? You sound like one of those Norwegian liars. Go to hell!

...

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

>None

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?


Niggers!

Good jokes are like children with cancer, they never get old.

Baseball has it wrong. A man cannot walk with four balls.

Why are children and mobile phones similar?

>If you’ve lost one and haven’t found it in a couple days, chances are it’s probably dead.

> What's something that 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape

> How do you keep a black man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head

> What's 12 inches long and sees dead people?
Haley Joel Osment
And my penis

Why can't orphans play rounders?

>They don't know where home is

Kek

How many niggers does it take to start a riot? -1