Ok idiots I need a differential

Ok idiots I need a differential.
Background: The patient is a 33 year old white male. 6'1, 265lbs, 1 pack daily smoker, kidney stones is only major medical history
Symptoms: For 2 weeks the pt has had intermittent tearing pains down length of L quad, headaches, n/v, profuse diaphoresis, reddened face, amber urine. For 30 days prior has tracked fasting bs and vs. Currently vs 160/97,113, 24, 99%, 98.9
Already ruled out DM and Lupus. Need a differential.

Go through all his shit and find out

Sounds like the Aids

Lupis?

Its obvyosly sarcoidosis

Nerve gas

Maybe the patient lied

I need a differential for a ford .....

>tfw leg hurts

its a dragon dildo stuck up the patients ass.

ill tell the patient we need to check his anus.

Aspergers it's definitely Aspergers

Kek actually non diagnosed I'm pretty sure

dehydration and a pulled thigh
did the patient just come back from track practice?

Sounds like a severe case of faggotory

when was the last time he had a homosexual experience??

DING DING give this motherfucker a cookie!

Football but still

Doping.

*flips table* look at the fucking bored!! All signs point to ass cancer!!

Nope not that extreme. Pt plays rec league football and has pulled muscles in his quad and the guy drinks 3-4 monster drinks daily

Elephantitis of the testicles

Football player or football cheerleader practice ? Ah he's injected steriods into his thigh and because he shared his boyfriend needle now has aids in the thigh muscle causing the pain.

Streptococcus meningitis

Diabetes from being too fat.

Did you read the op? DM ruled out

Normal otbs and a1c

Just cause he's not a Dungeon Master doesnt mean he doesnt have 'betes.

We need to go to his apartment and look through everything

im not about to break the law for you you fucking cripple.

Done. Dude lives like a fairly clean single dude. Eats like shit (evidence of less than healthy food), has a cat that eats dry food and has fairly clean litter box, and smokes marijuana. Took his volcano. Let's see him complain

Weak but kekked

*throws the keys to patient's apartment over*

First to find something gets a weekend off.

No poison found or environmental factors. Semi healthy diet from what we can tell from the fridge. There was a drawer full of dildos in the bedroom

Goddamn I love that show

Rhabdomyolysis

Fuck yeah dude
This thread probably made like 4 Netflix accounts re-add it their favorite lists. I know I'm gonna re-watch it all.

we need to insert a small piece of led directly into his brain

I'm starting to think you never went to medical school at all!

It's already torrenting for me. It's on my servers freeleach section

>muh dr cuddy

Toxoplasmosis!

New phone, but
>rambofingerguns.jpg

Dear god!...I just went through his phone....he's been on Sup Forums...he's a newfag...it's terminal

>picked up pts phone
>look at screen and see Sup Forums
>it's terminal
>literally AND figuratively

HEY Wilson im gonna go cut a cripples eye out ! Wanna watch?

Good times

Cantharidin poisoning

>guy drinks 3-4 monster drinks daily
Dehydration + caffeine level too high.

*install fluids*

Sounds like he has a tick lodged in his rectum. Duh