A group of "urban youths" have just kicked down your front door, what do you grab to defend yourself?

A group of "urban youths" have just kicked down your front door, what do you grab to defend yourself?

Job application

I can't do anything. They dindu nuffin

Nig-be-Gone

An invitation to a father-son BBQ

I'm fucking dying

Give high quality belts and hope they'll go away

A Job application

You're not "fucking dying" I hate when Facebook faggots say that shit. All you need are some stupid emojis you fucking basic ass nigga.

See

I understand baggy jeans but why literally drop them to your ankles, how the fuck is that badass

"Responsibilities"

Paternity Test results

THEY DINDU NUFFIN

ok user, I retract, I am not dying. I did get a good laugh out of it. I dipped my hand down and smelled my sack and thought to myself "that was a good one bloke"

Haha he said basic ass nigga kys fucking faggot

My little sister. She's a better shot with an Mp5k than I am.

remington 870 packed full of 000 buckshot

prolly won't need it though...the dogs will work their magic on them dindu nuffins

They're not kicking shit wearing their jeans like that.

A moistened tea towel.

A paternity test

I like you

Turn 360ยบ and walk away

>A group of "urban youths" have just kicked down your front door, what do you grab to defend yourself?

I home carry a S&W .357 Magnum revolver loaded with hollow points. POP POP POP WATCH THE NIGGAZ DROP

Pump action 12 gauge 870 with extended mag by the side of my bed. Wife isn't going to be happy about the mess, but there is no time to worry about that now.

nah I'm pretty sure he died
sincerely, dead man

BODY FULLA BULLET HOLES

I live in a civilised country, it won't happen to me.

Hurdles

My handheld job applicator holds 30 applications per magazine

Dubs don't lie boy

a concrete dildo

>any country today being civilised

Sure keep telling yourself that

>scope and a flashlight

gearfaggotry at its finest

My stihl 440 chainsaw. There'd be nigger noodles everywhere

> run to fridge
> retrieve distraction tools
> have time to call local pest control

also your belly holds 30 cheeseburgers and your neckbeard has a collection of vapes inside of it

STOP:

This post contains serious edge. Proper safety gear is required.

too messy

best to just loose the hounds. :)

Keltec ksg

WE WUZ KANGZ

>keltec

zimmermanfag

god forbid he has a weaponlight, much better to shoot at random targets you can't positively ID in the dark. Smart, smart.

it worked tho

Oh shit guys, we have a real elite military assassin here. Please don't blind us with your flashlight.

I have a ruger 10/22 tac so fire my smokestick and pray they don't have skin thicker than tissue paper

you've obviously never handled a firearm

KYS

one of them's just doing the shocker lol

you're still a faggot :)

Welfare checks

Of all the things available in this room I'd probably grab my friends iguana

Muh balls, and start swingin my mitts

>jealous poorfag detected

I can accept that answer.

A Buckler shield.

Nigga you just used kys kys you fucking faggot

A weaponlight? Is that what you fags call it, to distance yourself from the fact that its just a fucking flashlight. When he vas younger, my nephew refused to sleep without his flashlights IN the bed with him. You guys are no different (well except that he grew out of it).

Why

Good Ole mosin nagant

nice trips

just remember, you're responsible for any damage/death/destruction beyond your target :)

keep getting triggered libcuck

I probably have more money than you because I don't waste mine on buying "weapon systems," and accessorizing them like fucking Barbies for men.

I keep a small orphan black child at the front of my door to deter them

Duh....

Shit in hands, rub smelly shit on face, take out phone, start filming and shout WUULLRDDSTAR and just blend in.

Thanks! And I hope you keep wasting your money buying overpriced toys and jerking it to your fantasies of shooting home invaders.

Realistically, my bow and a knife. Chair if one of them is coming to stab me. College dorms don't allow firearms. Hell, I'm not sure I'm allowed to have my bow.

20/10

Its called a surefire.

Oh I have trained for this.

Close ranged combat is my speciality. Given the size of my halls I would have little difficulty utilizing my hand sharpened, mirror polished katana.

At first I would stamp to reason with then. My house is my dojo and my relics from my ancestors need not be stained with the blood of my enemy.

If they choose not to heed my warning I will draw my blade. This will spell the end for these youths. For once drawn my blade must taste blood.

It would be over quickly, but and is a moment for me is going to be an eternity of agony for these youths. My skills of teleportation and mastered and my blade honed.

The dark side of me will dispatch them. And the world will be cleansed. All that remains will be a wall scroll with the names for my fallen foes written with their spirit animal.

And then I meditate. To cleanse the mind, from the fire of battle.

hey, cockwomble...a light gives anyone shooting at you an easy target.

do the world a favor and KYS :)

you just said 'haha' xD

Old faithful.

My fuckin 30-06 bitch I live in a castle state so I'll blast you right out the fuckin doorway.. then drag your dead ass in over the threshold

lol, beat me to it.
and nice trips, lucky 7's

wasp spray or bear spray. that'll bring anyone to their knees. :)

...

Or the new hotness. Just hope the leaf blower or brush aren't attached.

I need to see a big more than eyes and teeth at night

this

Whutt

drop my pants and run at them
>wouldn't be the first time it worked, either
not lying at all.

Did you tip your fedora after that?

I have a can of bear spray and a gas mask by my bed. If anyone breaks in, I can fumigate my entire house, thus avoiding shooting the neighbors kid because some gun company told me that a high powered rifle was the best bet for home defence.

at first i was like 'this lil bitch thinks he's being cute', but then he got dubs and i was like 'oh, ok.'

Fuck you. I laughed

>too meta 3 me

Damn son. You are a little cranky today. Go fap or something

Nothing wrong with a light, that's the first thing you would want to put on a carbine meant for home defense. 1-4/1-6 optic is far from ideal, I would at least have 90* irons on it for CQB. It shows how much you don't know that out of all u could have said about his set up u failed to mention the tacticool mag coupler as if he's planning on fighting a full blown assault team.

Winning Donkey

>this nigger has played Call of Duty
>he even read the manual
oh shi-

>bear spray

that's retarded as fuck. Bear spray isn't even as strong as police pepper spray. Most bear spray is 2 mil scovilles, police spray is 3-5 mil. Since bears have such highly developed noses they don't require as much capsaician content to work on bears. Way to go, faggot. PS: even police pepper spray doesn't always work on people.

my self esteem will hold them back. these rascals are looking for limits which i will give them. also i wil tell them to get their shit together.

I played in real life with the Fullujia expansion pack, faggot.

So did I, 30 years ago. you didn't even have time to eat a fucking falafel before you left. also, filename.

...