Feels thread? I'm having a really shitty night

Feels thread? I'm having a really shitty night

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youtube.com/watch?v=V8Qo46yrwNA
youtube.com/watch?v=wGfguhnvECc
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Whats wrong Sup Forumsrother?

hellmarchpeople.corgiorgy.com/

how this OP

Just a shitty night, pic in original post is definitely related

>I'm having a really shitty night
I'm having a really shitty life

Same, but tonight's extra shit

This is brutal! I lost my dad too and we both loved video games, this hit me hard

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boohoo a really shitty night, the fuck dude

Not sure if any one cares.
about 30 min ago there was a feels thread but i didn’t get to share this before it died so I’m gonna do it here… I don’t know what to do guys

Years ago i went to a private school where the students lived at the school. We where only allowed home in certain weekends and holidays

> Be me, about 5 years ago
> Every one is talking about what they are going to do in their holidays
> Im talking to a Scrawny kid that i talk to some times because no one really ever do so
> Scrawny kid, let's call him A, got some kind of disease, nothing life threading but it halted his groth
> So it's the same old, same old
> he looks weird, every keeps their distance
> Scrawny kid talks about how it's his birthday soon and every one is welcome to come
> We could throw a party and so, he says
> People being nice says it sounds cool
> Later that day i get a notification on Facebook
> A made a Facebook event
> Coverphoto made for it in Photoshop and shit
> Hereallyputeffortinthis.png
> He invited everyone from the year
(about 100 students)
> Click "going" and continue with my day
> The following week i see that almost every one joins in on the event
> Apparently his dad is this famous artist and his house is big af
> Last day before the holidaybreak begin
> Every one is happy because they are gonna see their families again
> But A... A have been smiling all fucking week
> I've never seen him like this
> usually he just sits in the corner of our computer room and plays minecraft
> He makes these amazing huge figures of dragons and shit
> Even when all the other boys are in there playing LoL, CS or wow, he just plays minecraft
> I asked him once if he wanted to play LoL with us and that i could teach him if he wanted
> "I dont want to be a burden for your team, user." was all he said
> And at this last day before christmasbreak this scrawny kid was the happiest i've ever seen him

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

Go on

BJ and dubs

Lucky bastard. I almost remember what those felt like

Sniffing loads of meth tonight, because why not?

It's 3:08am, I'm up for work in 6 hours and probably just gonna stay up all night...I feel happy and more like myself on meth...

Hope you're feeling better soon Sup Forumsro

> Fast forward to the day before his birthday
> Write on a group chat on facebook i had with my close friends if any of them wanted to meet up before A's birthday party
> "um no let's just meet there user i've got things to do" was the kind of respond they came up with
> Stupid as i was i think nothing of it
> Next day i get ready, dress up, look fly af
> Had to take the train a bit early to make it
> Means i show up about 30 min early
> Knock on the door
> Not even 15 sec and A opens
> He still got that smile
> That fucking smile
> He was so fucking happy
> I brought him a sketch book
> He opens it and looks at me
> I can see he's a bit confused
> "I saw the cool things you made in minecraft and the drawings in your room" I said
> "Thought you'd like some thing to draw in!"
> He said nothing just looked at me
> Looked at me in silence
> "Thanks, user"
> Never have i since heard those words with that amount of gratitude

sorry typing this part right now, forgot cont... Sigh, it's kinda late and i worked all day sorry user i'm tearing up a bit as well i dont really know what to do right now...

Cont..

Feels good man. Would recommend.

Hope you cheer up Sup Forumsrother. Life is rough, but you just gotta make the most out of what you got.

Oh I know. Broke up with gf about two weeks ago yesterday. Haven't gotten laid in 3 months. Damn I'm pathetic.

Just write man, thats all you can do I suppose

...

Also chek'd

Tl;dr

Thanks user, it means a lot to me.
All of you random strangers in Sup Forums are more caring than anyone i know. I love Sup Forumsros

> He brought it all for this party
> He got tons of snacks
> His dad brought him a whole lot of beer
> The 30 min is about up, no one else have shown up
> this is when i get the first text
> "im not gonna make it, user"
> "neither am i"
> these fuckers gotta be kidding me right now
> it's 10 min past the time he set the event for
> some girl i've never seen before shows up
> it's his childhood friend
> we talk and drink some beer, eat some snacks
> she is really cool
> 20 min goes by
> One boy i never really talked to from my school shows up
> he just sits there and drinks his beer
> i ask if they wanna play beer pong
> we are enough to make teams
> we play for about 20 min more
> i was on A's team and we did pretty well but we lost i think
> no one else have shown up
> 1 hour and 15 min after the event started 3 more show up
> A's smile was getting darker and darker
> This cheered him up a little
Cont.

Probs because most of the time we're going through something similar or the same thing as you are and understand that the world is a cruel cruel place. Sometimes you just need a little help. I getcha

Yes plz

:(

hey trips grats man... and thank you but it dont really help any so far..
Sorry for any typos, it seems i’m writing this faster and faster. my hands are shaking

> We are six at his party now
> the event got about 70 as “going”
> we play some drinking games and try to have a good time
> every one got the same feeling
> I was sure of it, we where all feeling how A was realizing no one else was going to show
> 2 hours since the event started

> after 3 the guy who was the 2nd to show up left
> He didn’t say a word just left
> It ends up being me and the girl left
> it’s about 1
> The girl tells A that she gotta go now because she got work tomorrow
> A is quiet and gets up saying he need to take a piss
> The girl looks down at the floor
> I can see that she is crying
> when A is gone she hugs me
> “thank you, user, you being here really means a lot to him”
> she turns around and hurry out the door
> Im standing here in this huge house alone for a moment
> the snacks is not even half gone
> There’s beer enough left to get a frat house drunk
> icanttakethisanymore.gif
> A comes back
> He tells me to leave because "he’s kinda tired now”
> I know its a lie
> bieng a stupid fuck at the time i just leave
> On the way out the main door his dad grabs my shoulder
> “Thank you for showing, user”
> “oh it was nothing, mr. A”
> “No you need to know that A haven’t always had it easy no one ever really talked or befriended him”
> Not sure what to reply i just tell him i was happy to be here and that he should have a good night.
Cont..?

Yeah man

>my grandma is seeing her final days in the hospital
>Her name is Jean
>Jean Jean the dancing machine! we'd chant as she drank schnapps like a fish
>those days of her dancing on the piano were over
>she lay bed ridden
>eventually she passes
>mom and my step grandpa are in complete shock
>the liveliest Irish grandma I've ever had, and my step grandpas greatest love had passed.
>mom and gramps go to the thrift store to try and forget the loss
>they come across a piano book to teach children
>inside is vid related
>a heart is cut out of the spine of the page
>this was jean's favorite song
>we cried, more than we've ever cried
at least I can rest easy knowing my Jean is dancing on a cloud with step gramps.

better to let it out imo

youtube.com/watch?v=fPmruHc4S9Q

vid from

Yes, continue

Please continue

Rip me

Im sure as fuck she is user, they all go to the clouds and enjoy themselves, right?

This will be the last one guys im sorry if you’re disappointed but there’s no lochness monster or any $3.50 just feels, and i dont know what to do with them other than pouring them out here

> Fast forward to School again
> Talking to my buddies not really thinking about A’s party at this point
> Then every one goes silent
> i turn around and see A passing by
> There’s no smile now
> He’s not looking sad either
> just an emotion less face

> This happened the final year
> I didn’t see A smile once
> Once i graduated i never saw A once
> I felt guilty
> I had just left him that evening like every one else

> Today i got something in the mail
> I got a worn sketchbook
> A worn sketchbook that i haven’t seen in almost four and a half years
> together with the sketchbook was a note
> "Dear user, I’m sorry for not handing this over to you in person, but I’m not sure that i could have done that. I can’t even write a proper letter either because i don’t have any thing to say to you other than the facts. Today, Tuesday the
15th of November A took his own life. He left a note for me and this book for you. I hope it reaches you. Mr. A”
> The first page of the sketchbook is all blank
> in the top it is saying “Thank you, user”
> For some reason i can hear A saying those words
> “Thank you for every thing, user”
> Never have heard those words with such gratitude
pic related (sorry it is in danish)


Fuck Sup Forums what do i do
I can’t go past that fucking page

>Everyone hates you and you'll die alone
That's about sums it up

You don't have to go past that page for now if you don't want to.

I can relate to that

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Go past that page and show us all, it may help with moving on. I'm sorry you to go through that.

why not have a look what he drew m8?

Give yourself the time to grieve, and then when you think you're ready, read it.

It doesn't matter if you weren't there for him all the time, you were there for him then. Would it have been nicer to keep in touch, yes, but no one is perfect user. You made a mistake, we all make mistakes.

It may seem to you user that there was something that you could have done, but that's just because in retrospective you can see the signs, in reality there is nothing you could have done, you were a nice guy and that's all you should focus on.
As for the notebook, go ahead, look on it, he gave you that because he wanted you to have it and read it, do it for him man it's the only and last thing you can do to honor him.

We're here to support you user. You were his friend and you showed up very early to his party. He didn't forget that, and he remembered that. He just didn't want to be a burden on anyone anymore. I've been where that guy was, only difference was I was too much of a bitch to pull the trigger. He thought he would set everyone free and they'd be happier without "that one weirdo people showed up for out of pity."
Don't be sad for him user, his pain is over

not sure what i am going to do just yet

Honestly i never really knew A other than he liked to play minecraft and that he drew some pretty cool stuff... not sure this book should be mine at all... why would he do this to me? am i a dick for not keeping in touch? i was just young and ignorant... still is though

>denmark
4.34, you're having some sleepless nights aswell huh

You were there him, there isn't much you could have done other than that. He gave you this notebook to read and remember him by. So do it, honor his final wish and look through it man. It'll help.

Look at the firsts words user, you were the good and happy side of his life, it isn't your fault

I'm pretty much living this right now, except I confessed to her and she said she didn't know how to respond.
Think I got friendzoned.

awww fuck why do i come into these threads

If you need some time, then take some time. You don't have to open it. I'd suggest just to listen to some music and think about your options. If you need some suggestions for music, I'd honestly suggest Nirvana, Kurt Cobain singing Pennyroyal Tea on the Unplugged album is a god sent. Thats just me though

Me everytime

Trips btw

I do it because I'm a fucking masochistic dipshit, I don't know about you

You are an amazing person user and he'd want you to turn the page I feel.

We like to feel sad, for the same reasons that we like horror movies.

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thank god im off tomorrow i've been working 8-18 and come home to this

thanks Sup Forumsro im already listening to some music - not sure why it seems to be worsening my mood

You speak da true true.

That actually makes sense

Music will bring out all the emotions of people, its kinda like taking acid alone. It'll fuck you up, but afterwards you'll feel so refreshed and renewed almost

a while ago, i had 99 percocet 10's.
i took one for each problem i had
it doesnt help

youtube.com/watch?v=V8Qo46yrwNA

Found this recently. Cheers me everytime.

youtube.com/watch?v=wGfguhnvECc

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Prepare to bawl your eyes out at either of these...

youtube.com/watch?v=EOAcRKZxjy4

youtube.com/watch?v=seolYuhGVvY

about all i had to dump

Thats rough, but well worded.

Seems like thread might die soon...
felt good to get it out and feel like at least some one out there is listening and cares. im gonna try to sleep now...
See you around in some other thread Sup Forumsros

Later Sup Forumsrother. Just remember, we care about you.

He gave it to you because you were the good part of his life, now that he is gone he gave you back something for what you gave to him. You are not an asshole, you are a normal guy that fell out of touch with someone we all do that man don't beat yourself.

Peace Sup Forumsro

It feels weird writing this to someone I were just talking with…

Remember?
The first time I ever wrote you was because of an idea that came out of boredom. This awkward, impertinent guy. It was too funny.
The more and more we wrote, the more I realized how drawn in I was.

The feeling to have someone to talk about everything was beautiful. Not to mention the jokes we always made.

The akward and impertinent guy started to open up to me aswell. I wasn’t expecting that at all. After all you were indecisive... nervously cheerful... a twit.

Even though you never told me specificly about your problems or about what makes you happy...it totally changed my live.

When I found out I could tell you everything and I mean really anything, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever pay back the time and effort you put in to listen while I talked
to you about me, my problems?

I can't remember when but one night, I remember me crying in my room and I knew that it would end sooner or later. Thats when it all started...about 3years ago it became serious.
I had it much longer in mind though. I just never had the guts to do it. I have a family..i could never do something as horrible as that to them - after all that would be selfish right?

That’s when I ran away.
I ran for what felt like an eternity.

And I lied. Just one simple little lie. The same little lie over and over again.
I lied and said that I was fine.

part 2 inc.

continued

Such little lies change a whole live. It’s weird, isn’t it?


One more time... one more chance


What do you think?
Do you think I made it into anyone’s heart?
I wonder if I made it into yours.
I wonder if you’ll still remember me.

Please don’t forget me.
Remember how I told you that one is only truly dead when no one remembers him?
Promise me you won’t forget me.

I’m glad we wrote so often.

I hope you don't do anything stupid. I can't bear that responsibility on my shoulders after what I will have done.

I like you.
I really like you.

I’m sorry I wrote you so much.
I’m sorry I was so selfish.
I’m so sorry.


Thank you for everything.

>We will leave our motherlands behind us, and become one with this earth. We have no nation, no philosphy, no ideology. We where we're needed fighting not for country, not for government. But, for ourselves.
-user Snake

:(

I waited to long and lost her. She found another guy the day before I was gonna ask.

kek, i know that feel brah.

I'm too exhausted to even feel emotions. Even though I'm absolutely fucking shitfaced drunk. And somehow that's even worse than being miserable.

I'll just share my story because I don't know what went wrong. Phonepostjng because fuck you I'm not getting out of bed. Quick info, im m/22, she's f/19. Been dating since I was 20 and she was 17. An honest rate 6-7/10 but she was loyal and had this smile that just lit up her face. She was great bros, loved cooking, hunting, fishing, and was completely loyal to me. Then she graduated high school and went to college. She started changing, quit texting me unless I texted her first, quit asking to hang out, quit doing things sexually for me, et cetera. I put up with this for three months because I loved her, but realized that who she is now is not the woman I fell in love with. So I let her go, after months of trying to get her to see how she'd changed. I just couldn't handle being neglected anymore

if evens it's time to start drinking Sup Forums

Sounds like for the best, man. People change but you'll find the one who will stay constant.

If numerical value it's time to start drinking :)

ay, you're gonna drink in the middle of the day too?

fuck man

OP here. Thank you guys so much for this it really helps, and i hope you all have good nights/days. If you ever feel alone, you'll always be in my mind. You guys are the closest thing I've ever had to real friends. I that all of you that are still searching for purpose find it, and never give up the search. Not even on your last breaths. Goodnight Sup Forumsrothers. I love you guys.

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Maybe in 6-8 years when I'm settled in my field making 80k/year. But it's not like Im exactly cassanova.

japanese guy sharing his story. Has been about a year now when he posted that, wonder how he is today.