Anons, I'm fucked.
I lied a little in my CV and put that I have at least 2 years experience as a DBA, and tomorrow I have to go to an interviu for a Database Programmer.
I know MySQL at an intermediate level and now I'm doing researches to not be fucked completed tomorrow.
If I succed to take the job, do you know how much money I'll make tho?
interview*
You'll be fine.
Just reinstall adobe flash.
go to Sup Forums
k
I read those stories on reddit.
You lied about being a DBA?
For fuck's sake, you might as well lie about being a gold medalist in the Biathlon.
You'll have about the same chance at passing.
In a pinch, start brushing up on:
- stored procedures
- views
- various kinds of joins
- what sort of weird situation would you actually need the "while" statement
- start memorizing the Normal Forms
- be able to talk intelligently about when to de-normalize data
- when would you choose MySQL, Postgres, or Oracle?
- with the advent of NoSQL, when is a SQL rdbms the best choice?
See how faking this ain't easy?
There's a reason DBAs are well paid.
" start memorizing the Normal Forms"
What do you mean?
Excellent post.
You won't get it so it doesn't matter.
>tip my fedora
>turn 360°
>walk away
Sorry to be cunty, but if you don't know what those are you'll already completely fucked.
"Normalization" is the part of how you organize your data model.
It seeks to ensure that your data model is effecient and capable of performing the queries you'll need.
The most common are First Normal Form, Second Normal Form, and Third Normal Form.
This goes up to five and include something called Boyce-Codd Normal Form, but it's unusual to go passed Third Normal Form.
The problem is that the difference between a DBA and a codemonkey that also does db work is knowing shit like this.
Thanks.
The worst part is that I'm not a DBA, but I know enough to realize how screwed I'd be if I had to pretend to be one.
I had a good laugh at this thanks op
Oh god as a CS student this is giving me PTSD. Fuck databases and normal forms.
Yeah, DBAs are a very different breed of cat.
In my early years, I used to think like that. Changed, when I realized, that you always need perfection for your database. Other than programming, where a lot of my colleagues made sloppy shit work.
But fuck ERs, they are retarded and everyone does them different.
I have a book and read about those common 3 normal forms and I'm still reading so I'll know at least one sentence about something tomorrow.
I'm devoted and for money I'll do anything, so it's only a matter of time until I'll know how to work.
Also the interview it's in english and all the work, which is kinda hard for me but I can adapt. It's my second language.
Could you please tell something about everything you pointed? Doesn't matter how small you talk about it.
I'll owe you a favor and after I'll get the job I'll send you the money you deserve for helping a fellow user who doesn't want to be a NEET.
Also, thank you for what you said! I'll do some research now for tomorrow.
DBAs are fucking jokes. I've never met one who knew more than me about DBs and SQL, and everything I know about it I picked up simply from being exposed to it. No formal teaching/learning required. Also, NoSql is the future and there is no real reason to keep using SQL in an enterprise sized application.
So you're saying I can learn from experience and from what I can read online?
I'm saying that anyone who thinks DBAs are worth the amount they're paid is retarded. you absolutely can learn what you need to know on your own. OPs problem will arise when they ask him where he worked before and what he did there, not from them quizzing him on DBA bullshit.
Just install Google Ultron and you're going to be fine.
imgur.com/a/iJD8f
The thing is I worked in a place, but I lied about my position.
I would say something like "Whew, that was a couple lifetimes ago, I'll have to brush up a little bit" never, ever admit that you lied. Even if they have a video of you saying that you lied. Learn from bill clinton
What did you work as?