ITT: Stupid shit you think only you do.
I'll start.
I pretend to be a samurai when I kill flies in my home.
I stalk around with the fly swatter and shout crazy Japanese sounding words.
If I hit the fly first try, I get a point. 3 points and I level up and masturbate as a reward.
If I miss. I swat myself in the face as a form of honor suicide. (I get three lives)
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Laughed/10
You might be alone on this one, Yojimbo.
When I scratch my balls/ass I sniff my fingers.
there is nothing
you are not special
everyone does this
si
I stare intently into my bathroom mirror naked for around 10 minutes before I shower.
I move all the furniture in my room about twice a day
I do it with my balls. Smellsgoodman.
Why? To keep the demons at bay?
Dude, same.
I just have to
>Being comfortable looking into the mirror for that long.
Get out.
I think you have something wrong with you.
Mein Neger. Also checked
I rap about what I'm doing.
Im comfortable with my mediocre face and body. Its social issues which hinder me.
yeah sure you do that
I'll file this under "Stupid shit I might try next time I'm bored."
Sometimes I act like an SS officer when I'm bored. I will go up to my cats and interrogate them about being jewish. When I play a game, I'll kill people that I think are jews.
I will act as if I'm a ninja and try to be as stealthy as possible. I do not have a points system though and if I feel like whacking it I'll just do it. Don't need to redeem points to do as I please.
>Good boy points
i live with my sister and when she sleeps (she sleeps with no bra and just panties) i sneak in the living room and fap over her and when i get ready to cum i pull back her panties and cum on her pussy feels good
I'm comfortable with myself, other people aren't
He's trying to tell us he's a slave in an interior design school
I quote stuff from people in the internet like th Angry Video Game Nerd while i´m bored
I talk to myself in various languages and answer my own questions. I should seek help.
When i play dota2 and I pick Centaur, as I'm running to rune spot I make horse sounds and scream "Giddyup Big Boy". My wife hates that I do this, but I find myself giggling every time.
I walk naked around my room with a book and pretend I am an ancient philospher or emperor. All this while I speak all my speeches about history or imaginay military campaigns. Also, I go with a ruler to pretend to have a sword.
I'll take shit that never happened for 2000, Alex.
>Plays DOTA 2
>Picks Centaur Warrunner
Did anyone else get on all fours and run around the house pretending to be an animal as a kid
When I shit, I squat on the toilet seat instead of sitting. (feet on toilet seat)
I don't change my underwear for long periods of time.
I wear the same pair of pants everyday and don't wash them for weeks on end.
While laying on my side, I place my hand between my ass cheeks and keep it their until I move then i SMELL IT! (YUM-O)
When I am alone I pretend to be some anime character and fight (flail arms and legs) invisible enemies.
I'm 27... I should grow the fuck up but the urge to do a kamehameha or a gum gum pistol is to great.
Try to throw tweezers like a knife. I haven't gotten them to stick yet. I do this after doing my hobby of watch repair
Op here.
I'm very serious about this.
Here's my shrine for when I'm not active
>When I shit, I squat on the toilet seat instead of sitting. (feet on toilet seat)
this kills the seat
At least you doin shit rite op.
It would be cool if it wasn't, you know...
Get checked for autism
Respect that you went all out.
Op here.
Sometimes when I've thinned their ranks too low.
I bait them by shitting on a plate and setting it by the back door while keeping the front door open (to let them in)
What lvl are you right now? is there prestige lvl?
Jesus christ...
Include me in the screen cap!
I'm currently level 7.
(The game resets at the beginning of each month)
Daydream about suicide bombing Tory Party conferences, murdering politicians and billionaires.
I'm not going to lie, today has been a really good day on Sup Forums. Am I the only one?
>I'm very serious about this.
>Here's my shrine for when I'm not active
This is great.
>when I wake up real early sometimes when I read a word from anything
>I say it in my head a few times then I spell it out a few times
>its always a random word
Fuck off Labour faggot.
Labour can fuck off as well you Daily Mail reading cretin.
...
browse the chon'
When I cuddle with my bodypillow I'm not pretending it's my gf, I'm pretending it's my daughter.
God damn it OP you're killing me kek
>2016
>Still reading newspapers
Sorry you're a lazy fuck and was brainwashed to hate Thatcher. Go do some more drugs and solve all the world's problems chatting to your retard mates.
i work at a kebab place.
inb4 sandnigger, am white male.
each guest i pretend to do different accents because im bored. (gay, russian, british, german did kermit once but customers noticed)
I enjoy popping zits. Not in a sexual way, but its satisfying.
Would love to see this kek
>I quote Billy Joel lyrics at least once a week.
>my go to Is "you may be right I may be crazy but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for"
Dude. You don't realise how much of a winrr you are
Fuck the conservatives... bomb the mosques.
Hahahaha dude you fucking rock.
haha, made me kek
Thats a fake shit you faggot.
Double Barrelled Surname detected
>acting intellectually superior
>reads brietbart and considers it accurate
Brainwashed by whom? The right-wing high school cretins who know absolutely jack shit about the world ruin this website.
sandnigger
I make the car noise when I'm driving, every time with no radio. All the way home all the way to work.
>skkkrrrrrrrr
That is not a fake shit.
I take my art very seriously.
You're a weird guy OP.
Its a fake plastic dog shit you faggot.
Prove me otherwise.
Good job op. Own that shit.
I something like that, when I stop in my car I make air brake and jake brake noises
Shhhhhhhh phfffff brbrbbrbrbrbr
I keep a cup on the tank lid of the toilet. When I have to pee, I pee into the cup, smell it for 45 seconds, then pour it into the toilet. If I dont do this I think something bad is going to happen to my rats.
Pajeet detected
I pretend I have a talk show or podcast and talk about tech stuff in segments, I do this whenever I'm taking a shit and I'm alone at home, I start with a "welcome to the toilet podcast". When I shit it takes me about half an hour hence I can do things like that, and yes I'm very lonely.
Nah, I am white middle class.
OP I have to find reasons to keep coming back here and dude you just gave me enough Sup Forums credit to waste the next couple days here without worry or thought
I actually do that. I call my show "Shittin' with Shaun"
Silly street shitter living in America doesn't make you white. Don't you have a customer service call to take?
This except for the leveling up and jacking off part what the fuck OP
I keep scorecards, (like at the olympics) for rating my shit when I'm done.
I always take a toilet selfie holding up he winning card.
I have a shit journal
When taking a huge shit i take off my shirt
My sides have exited the solar system
I play songs off my phone while I shower and sing along with them pretending I'm performing in concert. Afterwards I usually take a shit and talk about the meanings of the songs like I'm on a talk show.
I open a textbox in my phone, use a random Skype for my first word then make a random sentence from suggested words.
I have bonsai older than the other side of the United Kingdom.
I sometimes powershit too
i wash my pants just once a year
I do the same, can't shit with a shirt on.
you must be 7k mmr
Nice bro
Holy fucking shit.
I'm dying. 10/10
We are shit bros
Fucking kek.
Please stream one for us
me too
You have to show us.
I take two Oreo cookies and carefully scrape the cream out then sandwich the black cookie between two creme... Like a reverse Oreo.
Then before I take a bite I say "are you ready michelle?"
I pretend like I'm in a threesome with Michelle Obama and Barack is watching.
Dubs confirm!
Post a picture of the shit journal.
Goddamn you. Kek. Fucking kek.
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