What would do if you had one of these?

What would do if you had one of these?

watch DVD's

...

Go back to 2007 so that I can fail all over again.

Pause time and jizz in every last woman's pussy, I would cuck every man in the world

nothing, I love the one I have

Where can I buy one of these props

I want to pretend to freeze time

insert it in my vagina?

Help Hitler win.

Everywhere I go, I must rape

what are the best remotes on the market?
post what you have
mine is this plus a dish remote

>that gun

>he still uses remotes to control TV

Get with the times, grandpa.

what do you use?
I dont like using my phone

your tv doesn't have voice or gesture control?

Rape

anime shit

Call the alternate universe version of my crush.

...

Considering it's just an useless metaphor about wasting your life, throw it in the trash.

>shouting commands at your electronics like a faggot
>flailing your arms at your electronics like an idiot

Pick neither, use a remote, and stop being so retarded.

>implying you need to shout or flail

A lot of crime, tbqh. Two that begin with the letter 'R'

That's right, racketeering is one.

The real trick is he should have only used the pause function. Fast forwarding and going through life on autopilot is what fucked him, but if he just used the pause function he could get all his work done in the space of a second and then spend the rest of his evening with his family to have the ultimate work-life balance in the universe.

What's the Hulu show about that?

I've used both, and you do.

like this?
I like the buttons, for when Im watching at night though
And I dont like voice activated/controlled shit

>Implying this monkey paw remote wouldn't find another way to fuck you over
Enjoy frozen time for eternity.

go to my nearest highschool and fuck all the girls

Not watermark it.

It learns usage patterns. When he fast forwarded, it was for specific things, like fast forwarding to a promotion, so when someone mentions a promotion it auto-fast forwards to the promotion. For the pause mechanic, the usage would be to pause and then eventually unpause. Worst-case scenario, if you pause at regular times you might get stuck with it pausing and unpausing on some kind of schedule, but it would have no reason to freeze time forever.

Hi user, my life fell apart then too, what a coincidence, fuck me, tho with this remote i would just pause and touch boobs. I dont really have great ideas....

stick it up my ass

Rewind my life and destroy the remote.

Imagine just walking into a high school or college classroom, pressing pause and stripping, feeling and having sex with every girl there. Then afterwards put their clothes back on, walk outside the classroom then press "play" and see the confused looks spread across the girls faces as they feel somethings happened but they don't know what.

use the remote once and never use it again. its impossible to make a pattern out of a single use

You're mom.

>He doesn't have a pc as his "cable" while he steals movies and shows and conteols with a wireless keyboard and mouse

lmao, are you aware of the current year?

>rewind to 2008
>buy 50,000 bitcoins
>throw remote in trash
>sell bitcoin in 2013 and become filthy rich

>not just going back a week and winning the lotto

You dumb son

Let's be honest.

>Enjoy frozen time for eternity.
>implying this wouldn't be glorious
>implying it wouldn't give me an opportunity to go full Omega Man
>implying I wouldn't round up all my waifus and pose them in my mansion like statuesque fuck dolls
>implying I wouldn't have a blast visiting every woman I know and impregnating their lifeless bodies and then pillage through people's shit and steal all of their dinnerware
>implying I wouldn't gradually disable every world government so that, should time ever unfreeze, the world will be mine and my harem of tens of thousands would bear me an army of white sons to remove kebab and end the reign of the jew
>or, worse case scenario, I spend the rest of my life raping and playing large scale human chess
Sounds just fine to me.

Wouldn't be as fun as you think
I doubt you can impregnate someone while they're "paused"
And I don't think having sex with human chess would be all that fun either. After a while you'd just get tired of it and want some actual sex but it'd be non existent, you'd only have glorified sex dolls. Not to mention you'd probably get very lonely since you'd have no one to talk to

>Not to mention you'd probably get very lonely since you'd have no one to talk to
You don't know me very well

I haven't seen this in 4 years, back then the common one was teen time

I would cry, even if I never expected it.

Ah I see
I'm the same I just assume otherwise since the majority of people need company

The odd thing about this situation is by the 100th rape I don't know if I'd even be interested in doing it anymore, regardless of how sexy the girl is I don't think I'd care. But I'd do it anyway, compulsively, the same way I always try to stop on >.00 when I put gas in my car.