What's a quick and painless way to an hero that looks like an accident?

What's a quick and painless way to an hero that looks like an accident?

Bump
I'm looking for a way too

Shoot yourself in the face and leave a note that says "I thought it wasn't loaded :("

Shoot yourself in the eye so it looks like you were looking down the barrel and it went off accidentally. Make sure your other eye is closed.

Fake a mental illness that gets you on drugs that don't play nice with liquor.

Then 'forget' and get blased

Shoot yourself in the head, and use your blood to write "oops" on the ground before you die.

I typed out the perfect method, but deleted it. I don't want to tell you how to do it. it's retarded to do it. We love you, meng, and other ppl do too

heroin

Head under truck tyres when moving.

Your brain becomes pulp meaning no impulses from central nervous system, so no pain. And unlike decapitation, you're not conscious for a short while afterwards.

As long as the truck is moving the right way, this is 100% guaranteed.

This isn't a joke post I need this, please user

Walk into a pharmacy, steal all the medication you can. Walk indo a dark alley and get under some cardboard boxes. Take ALL the pills and go to sleep. you'll be gone in minutes.

High speed car crash is probably the easiest and most convincing way. Just floor it into a wall with no seat belt or something.

Take video and arrange for this to be posted to Sup Forums by timer or third party.

Also your a fucking idiot if you want to end your life. You realise you only get one chance in life, so you might aswell make the most of it rather than taking away the one thing that should mean more to you than anything else that you will ever have. Eat some fucking chocolate, talk to people you dont know. christ your most likely young, just get a job and get blazed everyday, its what most of us on here do anyway.

Hang yourself by the neck with your cock out and a huge dildo in yer bum

Best option here

Just make sure this is on a road or freeway so the squish has maximum effect

Do a diving headbutt off a chain onto the corner of a table/counter

Get romantically involved with Courtney Love

having an accident

If you care enough that it needs to look like an accident, then you obviously aren't so far gone that suicide is your only option.

You're right I am young, but I'm already so messed up, I can't burden the world with myself anymore.

who is this? got more?

Moar of that girl?

Failure to post in a Teddy thread.

>And unlike decapitation, you're not conscious for a short while afterwards.
I doubt this is true.

>The victim "accidentally" fell underneath a speeding truck in the middle of a 4 lane freeway.

Yeah that's real fucking believable...

Don't make it obvious, just walk or cycle alongside and pick your moment so you catch the wheels on the trailer - the heaviest load by mass.

Why does it matter if it's painful? You're going to die none of that shit will matter once you're gone

Yes it is! I just want my brother to not get too fucked ups afterwards

It won't matter if it looks like an accident.
You won't be around to care.

You don't need a fucking note. Just get a gun and a bottle of hoppes and a bore snake. Just make sure you leave the bottle open, put one in the chamber, drop the clip on the table and shoot yourself in the eye.

Airtight.

take a shower and then "accidentally" lock yourself outside in the cold. you'll freeze to death and it's quick and painless.

If it hurts yo much I won't be able to go though with it

Then you care about your brother and shouldn't kill yourself.

How could you be conscious when your brain is spread out over 9 square meters?

Oh, and it takes place in like 0.02 seconds, so you arent going to feel it.

But dont do it OP. Get help, or at least join the French Foreign Legion so you can shoot darkies.

Freeze to death. Maybe not the most painless, but the end will feel like a warm cuddly blanket wraps around you and gently sends you off.

Go hiking or shit like that and jump down a huge cliff. Just make sure to land on your head, otherwise its gonna be a painful ride

I have to

I meant I doubt you are conscious when decapitated.

On a motorcycle dumbass!

And due to the weight of the vehicle it doesn't need to be traveling fast, you wasted sperm! The skull would be crushed and brain obliterated before the impulse to feel pain can catch up.

Go fucking crawl back up the sphincter of a walrus you cunt!

Why? Is someone holding a gun to your head making you commit suicide? Because if they are, then let them kill you instead.

Kek
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k

I'm not good at anything

Buy some fentanyl and snort half a gram

Oh. No, you definitely do live for a few seconds. They cut your neck, not your brain

You're so 12 it hurts.

Nothing suspicious about buying a motorcycle and killing yourself with it the same day.

You need to take whatever advice is given to OP and kill yourself you ignorant little nigger.

choke youself while masturbating. sposed to be fun, and even famous people have died that way.

Then you will probably fuck up suicide and be a vegetable for life being a burden to your brother.

HEROIN

I had an elderly German plumber once fit my new shower. Only he seemed to have connected the system to gas pipes instead of water pipes.

When I pointed this out he apologized of course, saying "Old habits die hard'.

Would you like it if he came to your home to cut a shower op??

my skype is
>Pempheridae

U mad?

He mad

>Shoot yourself in the face and leave a note that says "I thought it wasn't loaded :("

Yes

Your brain can survive a few minutes without oxygen, you're right that this isn't consciousness

You'd probably have a weird anxiety dream before truly dying

Why do you assume so much you flaky assed faggit.

Why do you not think op doesn't already have access to motorcycle?

Also, why are you so fixated on freeway when a normal Street will do? What about behind a busy loading area?

Do not, under any circumstances, get any girls pregnant as we don't need ultra-autism on top of the retards already here.

jump off a semi large building, put something up there in a dangerous place so it looks like you tried to get it and fell down. then jump off the building, you'll likely get unconscious during the fall. and if you don't, it's too late to pussy out.
but actually ... don't do it op. we love you.

Or

"I thought it was a hair dryer"

Lauren? Is that you?

Not mad

That's just how I talk to idiots and autists IRL.

You don't even now me

Depends, who are you?

want to get to know my dick in you butt?

Drown in toilet

Leave note saying you're bobbing for apples.

Your friend. Your prince.

Heroin overdose op.

Easy and peaceful

Lauren come into the kitchen and talk to us
At least pick up your phone
Please

>Why do you assume so much?

Why do you assume OP has a motorcycle? Why are you such a faggot?

Why are you so fixated on being a butthurt cocksucker?

Do not under any circumstances not kill yourself. We don't need anymore (you) in the world.

Heroin

My phone's not ringing

Relevant to my needs

Personaly prefer drugs o/d but that truck tire head splat technique sounds good too!

Samefag

I've tried to picture you sitting at your computer, but I'm finding it difficult having never seen an angry down syndrome dude before.

You enraged??

Don't damage your face, your too pretty

definitely.

What's the problem OP?

Samefag samefagging

I'd love to get to know you though ...

...

I love you OP, you seem like a good guy

I'm a paramedic, I've seen a lot of suicides. In fact I just got back from one about 1 hours ago. There's not many ways to make it pretty.

If you are worried about how it will effect someone, then you clearly have people who care. Think about that.

It's the most selfish thing you can do. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

If you kill yourself, you're gone. Why not do the same thing without the death?

I wish I could be you some times. I wish I could truly have nothing to live for. I would somehow get whatever money I could, by selling everything, and buying a plane ticket somewhere. I don't care where. I'd walk across Europe, beg for food if I had to. Work odd jobs where I could, hitchike, just be completely free from everything that ties me down now.

Worst case scenario? You die on the journey, but you were going to do that anyways.

Life sucks some times. That's what makes it interesting. It's the bad days that make you stronger. Trust me, your life isn't that bad. You have access to Internet since you're posting, you have at least a little education because you can type, and you have ever people that care since you want it to look like an accident.

Accident or not, you'll mess up a lot of people's lives. It's not worth it. Don't be selfish.

Start over. Move somewhere, start a band and travel playing at dive bars, become a monk in a temple, move to a tropical place and live on the beach in a shack surfing every day. Whatever man.

10 years from now you'll look back and be thankful you're alive. Ask me how I know. I was pretty low once.

It gets better.

I'm stupid, failing all my classes no matter how hard I try. I'm ugly, no matter how much I exercise and don't eat I can't seem to get thin.

Are you that faggit who hit pussy punched by Justin Bieber?

the shock sets in immediately, so even if technically your brain is still functioning for a few seconds, you arent aware of it.

buy a poster. get next to a wall. carry some nails in your off hand and then beat yourself to death with a hammer.

Lauren (484)xxx-xxxx

Am I warm yet?

Believe me, you don't

How do you know me?

Who Dis?

get completely smashed drunk and pass out in a snowbank

I failed out of all my classes, it's normal to have trouble in school. College I assume? And I'm sure you're not ugly, that's a common thing for people to think about themselves. Weight doesn't have everything to do with attraction, just try working on your personality and you'll meet someone. Trust me, I've seen some ugly ass motherfuckin dudes still get dates. Along with that, most people generally say I'm pretty attractive, but I've only ever dated one girl, it's hard to find someone you really like that likes you back for everyone

Pics or it didn't happen

I'm the guy who randomly compliments you on Snapchat

you don't know me either, so how would you know? if that's you in your picture, I would.

my kik is shockingboring, if you want to talk.

You're retarded.

I can't take pics of stuff like that. The woman shot herself in the chest. Wasn't that gory or anything, but it's still never pretty.

I worked until recently on a suicide hotline.

It was going well until I took my first call and asked the guy to hang on.

Yes why

So you claiming you can't crouch besides her and do a smiley thumb up pic?

You do know you're on Sup Forums right?

GTFO!!

You still haven't guessed who I am?