Secrets / Advice and Vent thread

Secrets / Advice and Vent thread

There is this shy girl that I am interested in.

She never texts first, but will talk for hours if I message her. Including some personal stuff.

Wonder, if there is a way to try to break down the wall preventing her from texting me

What could I do with her? Maybe try bringing up the fact of her not messaging first?

Something similar to this?

"I've noticed that you never seem to text first. Is there any reason why?"

Bump

Never seen one of these at this time, so whatever.
> Have 100GB Truecrypt container with very questionable porn
> including multiple videos of myself masturbating with things in my ass over the last 6 years or smth, also nudez of exes etc.
> fooled around with male friends at age of 10-12

Well..

no, please don't do that cringe overload. Maybe she likes you but is insecure or she's not that into you. There's no set reason for any behavior. Perhaps just say something like "You can always talk to me" which leaves the invitation open, but doesn't put any pressure on her

That is possible.

It is more so based of some advice of what a female friend said to do in this situation

am i doing it right?

bump

I had a relationship with my teacher on highschool she was really hot

I'm gay

I get off to little girl pussy.

Here's some legal advice for anyone who gets in trouble (in the US) with computers.

Go buy a shitty burner laptop, then hand over that one. If they don't know the model, and just come in for a seizure, and you chunk your old one, then you're safe. Destroy the HDD, buy a new one, and hand over the cheap burner one.

Read the fucking warrant in it's entirety before letting them enter your property. If they barge in and don't let you read the warrant, then you can counter-suit for breaking your 4th and 5th amendment rights.

If they try to take anything that's NOT on the warrant, instantly lawyer up, and push hard. They will be forced to drop charges if it's found that they secured evidence that wasn't on the warrant. There's some free legal advice.

Lastly, DENY EVERYTHING. DENY DENY DENY.

t. Lawfag

Yeah women ask that kind of shit all the time, but it's part if the reason guys think women are "crazy"

I fooled around with male friends from a certain age before puberty. Never once felt gay or weird about it, was just a kid exploring his sexuality, and plus they have to say the same thing. I wouldn't let it get to you.

Posting for advice.

I just got an insanely attractive gf a few days ago. She says she wants to blow me.

She doesn't know it but I'm a dicksuckless virgin. Most I've ever done is make out with some girl. Also I have a tiny dick. How do I make the experience not awkward and disappointing?

On several occasions I've had sex in the missionary position with my wife for the purpose of procreation.

I wish I was white.

YouTube my friend. Taught me how to do my first kiss

Just lay back and enjoy yourself.

Damn right you do.

Thx mang. Incognito mode here I come

I havent fapped in 2 weeks.

Don't over think it to much, get foreplay on the go and just roll with it

Any luck user?

Fucking pol/ has ruined me.

I really want to experience an ultra-hot girl farting in my face. I know it would smell bad, I know I wouldn't like it. But, it wouldn't kill me, and the slightly dominating aspect of it I think would turn me on boatloads. Not saying I'd make a thing out of it, just that it'd be nice to learn through experience whether it'd be something I'd enjoy or not.

I suppose.

I just really wish to get this kick started, so hopefully it can lead somewhere.

It does kinda seem like she might have some interest, but is very shy and possibly socially anxious. (Only has a handful of friends, and treats the professor as a friend. She did say that "I am just coming out of my shell")

And she probably knows that I am into her

No problem.

Also learned how to change the oil in my car, and switch from a HDD to an SDD from YouTube as well. It's a father, friend, and guide. Happy trails!

I blew up 9/11

Anyone else no fap?

I spent my good boy points on crayons and now my mummy won't give me more

No girl looks at me. I mean, I can make them laugh and shit, but they don't like me before even seeing me.

>Incognito
something about that word always gets me

it sounds like some faggot in a cape and a mask trying to impress girls by being mysterious

>I can't tell you my name m'lady, I'm *swirls cape* incognito

Kek

My main fetish is guys jacking off to the thought of me

I do. I get cranky and irritable the rest of the day when I do. It's literally the best part of my day. Nothing that happens will top blowing my load to exactly the kind of shit I wanna be watching while it happens. I don't give a shit what people say about it being pseudo-science, it's my life and it makes a hella difference when I don't. That being said, I fap occasionally to keep from going crazy, just try not to make a habit of it, you know, like you should do for most things and is actually fairly normal.

Ok, I think I'm ready for the hate brigade.

Sometimes I order 3 pizzas to my house and pick off all the toppings, put them in a containers, fill with water and stack them in the back of my freezer. Then I take the solid block of cheese, bacon and mushrooms and shit and throw them at Muslims

guy or grill?

I'm 34 but still look 22-26

I never lie about my age but put it off as much as possible til a girl really gets to know me

>Current girlfriend is only 20

Good lad.

my memory is so shit, if I had any secrets I wouldn't remember them to post them here

I crucify niggers on flaming crosses

2nd year at college, pretty much failing all my classes because I never go to class since I fucked up my body clock taking so many night shifts at work to help pay for college. Haven't told anyone, no idea what I ought to do at this point.

I derailed a train because of a rock I pushed onto a track

I once buyed a raw chicken from the supermarket. You know the ones, where head is removed and you have a hole??? I fucked that. I fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt pretty good.

Happy Thanksgiving

Drop out, save money, get counselling and then go back

...

I double dip

>You know the ones, where head is removed and you have a hole???
you mean like all of them?

also
>buyed

This is my first thanksgiving without my mom. I miss her so much

sorry for your loss, user

Yeah, a nomal raw chicken.

>>buyed
???

I took a shit on a passed out hobo

>>>buyed
>???
you mean "bought"?

also what does a chicken have to do with it being thanksgiving?

>fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt pretty good

At age 11 I had my 12 y.o cousin stick his dick in my butt, I had no idea what he was trying to do since I was ignorant of those things until I was 13, but now that I understand it the memory of having gay anal sex with my cousin haunts me up to this day

you asshole he's wearing round spectacles with a fedora

Thank you...

that too

Checked the double dubs
Ahh fuck grammatic.
Don't know. People are eating Turkey and stuff. That's why

Thank you lawfag!

And it's not like she obviously is not into me, but is in that area of limbo, where it is possibly either option.


>She is shy, and kinda doesn't acknowledge me unless I say something, then we can talk for a good while without issue. This is even when it is just us standing next to each other before class.

>I have seen her looking at me from a distance, sometimes locking eyes. (Once she began to crack a smile)

>When I asked for her number, she took my phone and punched it in. (It was the actual number, obviously)

>When I asked her to grab lunch the first time, she said she was busy that weekend, so I offered up Monday, which she accepted.

...

I started this meme, because i found it on FB

...

Tell your niggers to go sing about it.

What the fuck is this

Fuck you.

I am constantly bombarded with memories of every stupid, cringey, rude, or mean thing I've ever said or done.

that's jeff goldblum

A few years ago me and my wife when me and my wife were still dating we tried swinging for the first time ever. Turned out we were tricked and the couple we were swinging with was actually a male who hired a prostitute to be his wife.

Bet that shit made your willy pretty damn chilly

Stop digging for emotional support.

>not using Private Window in Firefox

Sorry

Girlfriend broke up with me and wanted to go back to her emotionally abusive boyfriend who drinks and smokes quite often. She started blaming me for ruining her life when I was the one that got her out of that in the first place. I deeply care about her but do not know what I should do about it.

Any advice Sup Forums?

Where are you from? Apply for academic concession.

Stop getting so easily attached to people, especially women.

They obviously have so co-dependant abusive relationship. Not much you can do, if she wants fuck herself up like that then let her.

>pedo detected

nothing you can do, you can't save people. just one of those sad facts of life.

24 y/o virgin.

Not entirely unpopular with women. Rejected a few. Asked a few out on tinder and never talked to them after they said yes.
I have no idea what I'm doing.

When I'm in college I eat lunch in the toilet. I can't eat in public.

I haven't worked a single day in my life and I want to kill myself because I'm leeching my parents.

I actually tried to off myself once. Ironically, I was on lexapro at the time. Never told this to my therapist.

I don't want a girlfriend because I would have to bring it home and I'm ashamed of the place I live in. I've been telling myself to wait until I get a job, but this when I finish college, and I'm a retard so there is no hope for me.

I asked my therapist if I am autistic. She said no. It means I'm just a retard.

Until I was 20 I always took my glasses off before fapping because I was worried there may be a hidden camera like in that Tom Cruise movie.
I still take my glasses off when I take a shit.

My dad called my mother recently. Apparently he was on the verge of tears. He said that I spend all my time locked in my room and I ignore his existence. I didn't even notice that I did that.
He told me the life I live is not a life. Talked about this with my therapist. She doesn't see a problem with it, she believes I have my own way of being happy that is different from others. I don't really know what to do.

I'm not sure if I love my parents. I don't know what love is. Their existence is convenient. I would miss them if they were gone, but does that mean I love them?

We have free college where I live. On top of that, I don't work. I don't have an excuse for being a failure. When I fail, I realize that I am a low-quality human being. Even if I eventually pass, the fact that I tried so hard it may mean that I should do something easier, like having a normal people job or shit.

Pretty sure I have foot fetish.

I am extremely into hardcore chain/metal bdsm. I just want to capture a bunch of girls, chain them up and force them to suck my cock and fuck their asses with hair pulling involved. Do I have a problem?

I almost fucked my little sister

I've been attracted to her since we were in high school (we're only a year apart and she has always had an amazing body) and got really drunk with her one night and found out she was attracted to me as well. She ends up sending me a bunch of sexy pics that night at my request but nothing really happens. Fast forward a couple weeks, she takes a bunch of Adderall with a friend which makes her super horny and she texts me that she wants to fuck me when I get home from work. I ended up chickening out and telling her I wasn't feeling good when really I didn't want things to get awkward between us plus I dunno if I'd really enjoy it as anything more than a fantasy. Still kinda wish I would've gone through with it, we haven't talked about it since and just act like the conversations never happened.

Rip

i've heard incest is pretty common. plus you didn't do it so whatevs.

for fucks sake user get a grip of yourself
jesus.
also get a new therapist, the one you have is shit

Would you actually do it or is it a fantasy?

>getting advice on females from female friends

You don't ask a fish how to catch a fish. There are exceptions to this, but generally, when a girl gives you advice on how you should approach a different girl, she's thinking about how SHE would want to be approached by a tall, dark and handsome 10/10, not you.

Like if it wasn't illegal and shit hell yeah

You guys are right. Thank you.
Makes my decisions far easier.

Well...it is. Would roleplaying suffice?

I graduated college class of 2016 and now live at home while I look for a job that's not at the pizza place I work at. What should I be doing with my time?
In other words, if you were in my situation, living at home with parents and stoner brother, what would you be doing?

Probably. Thing is I'm scared I can't have a normal relationship.

Fapping Fapping and more Fapping

>for fucks sake user get a grip of yourself
not sure how to interpret this


>also get a new therapist, the one you have is shit
I stopped therapy almost a year ago. I have plans to go the psychiatrist again because I need sleeping pills.

I once spent three months as a crossdressing sex slave for a wealthy tech expert.

He paid for me to live with him and dress like a teenage girl so he could fuck my mouth and ass each night.

I would have done it for free - but I was getting paid three times more than my previous job.

yes

Bumperino