In May, rumors began swirling that actress and comedian Jenny Slate and Chris Evans (aka Captain America) were dating

>In May, rumors began swirling that actress and comedian Jenny Slate and Chris Evans (aka Captain America) were dating.
>On Saturday, the couple appeared to confirm the news when they made their first public appearance together.
>The two didn’t pose for pictures outside but they did appear in a few photos together inside the venue — and they weren’t shy about getting close.
>“I haven’t really had a large premiere before, so it’s nice to have someone who knows how it goes,” she said, adding, “it’s kind of like I got my dream seventh grade boyfriend.”

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She seems like a qt.

What is the problem desu?

>chris evans will never ask you out
whats the point even

Christ Evans must have low self esteem or he's been utterly brainwashed by living in hollywood for so long

maybe she is his high school or college love

who knows

he's been fucking 10/10 women for over a decade. you're just a butthurt nigger

>rejected by Captain America and Loki.
Who will have her now?

>Perez Hilton photo
This is almost worse that image.jpg

>0.11

what did he mean by this

...

This statement actually says more about you than Chris. Look at Chris doing anything and ask yourself when the last time you were that happy was.

Hawkeye

>no mention of the fact that she was married when she met him

Jesus Chris calm down, that user wasn't even being nasty.

Or orrrrr

he cares about more than physical appearance in choosing his women he spends time with

What a concept fora virgin like you

...

hi chris

>Chris is a homewrecker
He's a slut.

>a lister actor,9/10 looks, millionaire,white
>only manages to date THIS
why even bother trying

Hi Henry

Jean-Ralphio sister?

I am mad only because I'm in love with her. How can I compete?

You deflected that masterfully. Really. No one could tell.

They were on Anna Faris' podcast together insisting they were friends and Chris was friends with her husband.

Captain Homewrecker.

>Captain America cucking a jew
Kek

she has a nice butt and she seems like a slut (she sleeps topless)

the guy used to date prime biel and youre giving him shit for dating a reportedly funny jew kek

She has a cute voice desu. I don't know how much that compensates for looks, but if I have to listen to a woman's bullshit I'd want it to be in a voice I enjoy listening to.

She's the WWOOOOORRRRSSSSTTT

>implying Chris isn't dating down so he doesn't have to worry about her cheating/being a regular woman

I bet she is a total size queen and has a bratty princess persona in the bedroom
>yeah give me that big dick
>god your cock is so beautiful
>yeah, yeah, stretch me out
>oh hi user. have you met my new bf chris? his dick dwarfs yours. you are a little boy and he is a big boy. and only big boys get to play.

I think the actual implications are much more dire than that.

>A list actor who everyone loves with 9/10 looks has dated pic related
>A list actor currently dating barely even average woman
>A list actor with 9/10 looks has no problem switching between the two
>any woman has a chance with 9/10 bro actor regardless of looks
>now even average qts are unwilling to settle for the likes of you

Chris doesn't understand he's upsetting the balance.

Hey, as a guy who sleeps topless I resent that. I mean I am kind of a slut, but fuck you anyway.

>famous man dates 10/10 models only
>Sup Forums accuses him of being gay and just needing a beard

>famous man marries 9/10 woman
>Sup Forums concludes she's cucking him and will divorce him for all his money in 6 months

>famous man dates 8/10 or lower
>Sup Forums calls him a faggot for dating an uggo

She's 18

what is this from

>ywn have a best female bro with whom you're totally compatible
>ywn slowly realize your feelings for your best female bro
>ywn decide to choose your best female bro over all the 10/10 models vying for your cock
>you will never live the irl anime that is Chris Evans' life

This right here.

>tfw that one guy who spams Jeremy Renner is gay
>his ex wife

That stealth dick press tho

As someone who lives in Texas it's impossible to make it through the night without losing at least my shirt

I live in Scotland and sleep naked

Get good AC you cheap ass
Currently in Texas enjoying my cool home

You sound like a slut.

I'm male

>ex wife
>ex
Gee, I wonder why that is.

Shes a 4/10 chris wat u doin?

You sound like a slut.

You must have a slutty boipussy desu sempai.

perhaps Jenny legit just has great charm and personality and is overall a real fun person to be with

also how long now until she gets him to guest on Adventure Time?

That hip waist to ass ratio is pretty good to be completely honest.

>legal

And?

For a guy who loves to laugh as much as Chris, a female comedian makes sense. She probably doesn't even need to be all that funny, just be able to handle the bantz. Since he can and has dated much more attractive women, he must know something we don't. He probably realized conventionally attractive women are a meme. This is something you can probably only truly know when you can have your pick of them.

She's 34

>that thick Jewess body
Evans has good taste

What does this mean?

ALL THE STARS ARE HERE

some user said she is an anal queen

I wouldn't doubt it, but I'd still question that source.

>He probably realized conventionally attractive women are a mem
The truth, most women you are basically dating a fuck doll
all women like anal

Boohooo she was married when they met. No fucks were given

Ahhhh yes. The naked fenian. I love it.

Most women are a meme. You guy ever noticed how they all have the same rose gold iPhone?

10/10 post

>can fuck everything that moves
>fucks an owl

For some reason all the hot air goes to my room. Even if it's cool in the other parts of the house my room is like ~4 degrees hotter

Shes a shit wife and mom?

>hotheads

Whatever you say, Jeremy.

Ah there he is.

she is a hardcore SJW who is tweeting about her period

i mean he seems like a faggot so it's probably not easy for him to get a serious relationship with a nice cute girl

ITT: Nobody mentions the fact that Chris Evans is a homewrecker who broke up Jenny Slate's marriage

TONY HELP ME

I legit miss Elizabeth Olsen posting.

>rephrasing exactly what I said

I don't know anything about her, but her voice is so fucking obnoxious.

I can't imagine dating someone with that grating of a voice.

youtube.com/watch?v=A848xpsDJbw

I like when Norm trolled her at the YouTube Comedy award thing

>you could never do this unpunished
i'm wasting my life

What if she has really good heroin that only she can get?

>Lucky pinder

Post more user

that ass, it's fucking perfect

AH YES, ALL THE STARS ARE HERE

youtu.be/A848xpsDJbw

when in the video does this happen?

It's not like she's ugly.

Did that camera continue filming while she was in there using the toilet?

>not knowing the power of good jeans

I bet you think everyone with a pushup bra has fantastic tits too

owls are rad

>Jenny Sarah Slate (born March 25, 1982)

How do I fake laugh like Chris?

I try doing his motions, but I just don't look convincing at all when I play it back on the camcorder that I'm using to record my fake laugh practice sessions.

You basically just asked "what if she has good poison?"

I have literally no interest in heroine because I have an addictive personality and as soon as I try it I'll be sucking dirty dicks under a bridge for more.