Okay Sup Forums I need some advice . I've got some lads after me and I need to defend myself incase I get jumped...

Okay Sup Forums I need some advice . I've got some lads after me and I need to defend myself incase I get jumped. A sharp object or something heavy that I can have an excuse for carrying with me. I can't for the life of me think of anything. I don't ride a bike so I can't carry a toolkit or screwdriver or anything like this. At the minute I'm thinking of a stainless steel pen as I study but wouldn't mind having something a bit more sturdy and preferably dangerous to defend myself in the even of several random chavs jumping me?

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>chavs
fuck off britfag

why not carry just a pocket knife?

A laptop

Why are they after you OP?

Keys. Easiest thing. Make a pair of cheap brass knuckles. Key within each finger.

Fork

Move to a country where it's legal to defend yourself from low brow knuckledraggers.

a crutch

The purpose is if i end up having to use it I need an excuse to have it on me. The police would deem me carrying a knife as me intending to hurt someone. However if I stab somebody in the face with an umbrella and ita raining I can just be all "Wel! It's raining"

Get som pepper spray, then you can fuck em up bigtime

Dubs
Have to respond

This.

but a simple pocket knife is questionable really

Bunch of coins in a sock/bag?

A lock on the end of a bike chain.

didlo
also you may want to ask

Or just make your own. Google knows.

Was just walking to the chippy and they started shouting abuse at me so I offered them out. Thy said they didn't want to fight because there were witnesses but they were going to "get sum lads" and come back with a knife. Basically they're just scumbags with nothing better to do

buy a padlock and a bandana. attach the lock to the end of the bandana, put lock in pocket, let bandana hang out. fashion/mechanic/handkerchief whatever is your excuse for having that. and if you have to fight, use it as a swinging weapon, open the lock with the key and throw it away and all youve got is a bandana.

carry a ball bat and glove....smell me

I'm trying to avoid lying to the cops as I have prior . I need a way that they can literally have no reason to arrest or charge me with assault / murder in the event I'm attacked

Don't be a stupid but. I hate you Brits but I will help you out. No knives, pens, shanks or anything sharp. Legal trouble, only works against one, and I would just use it on you if you tried that shit on me. A roll of quarters make a good fist pack but you are a pussy. Make some non mace, or better yet get a tiny can of axe body spray. Spray them in eyes, you have 3-7 seconds to do something. Follow up with nut kicking or if you have a heavy metal flash light hit on back of neck. Then run away. If they chase you, as they reach for you at top speed do a summersault and pinion your legs up. If you do it right they fly about 10 feet and their weight helps you on your feet without losing momentum. Jump on his chest with both feet and continue running. I fucking hate brits

Get a chef knife set and start filling your google and youtube search with cooking shows

Chefs bring at least 7 knives with them at most times, cause they need it for work. Easy peasy

They come in a carry bag too, so it's easy to carry them around

So the next time he goes to a chippy he's using a Chef's knife to cut up something fucking fish and chips?

Buy a Hurley (Irish sport) carry a sliotar (ball) if anyone asks your going for a puck around, how else can you legally carry a 3" club around? If the cops say anything about it tell em it's part of your culture

Body spray and a flashlight are good. Thanks user
What a guy lmao

Yup

A knife is a knife, and good quality ones are better than most knifes you can get from some random store. More expensive too

Good advice user thanks

I live in England
Grew up there been jumped twice once around 15 maybe 16 and the other when I was 19 I'm 6ft2 I work out and I'm a black belt I'm not fucking shitting you when I say the only defensive option to being jumped is not being jumped you run outta there you're not Bruce lee kid you might die

Damn user I'm also 6 ft 2 but I never fight this incident is a one off. Best advice so far . I will keep this in mind . The knife like object is just incase I get caught and strangled or have my head booted in to randomly start stabbing in all directions . I appreciate your advice though.

He needs to be free of them before he can run away you nig nog

It's easier to do that when you have a weapon you can swing to make space

Although to be fair, that doesn't seem to be his plan, but having a weapon around is still a good idea

Are though guys getting married?

Fuck the cops bruv.

Grab a knuckleduster and rock it on your back pocket. beat their teeth out of their mouth and see if they are willing to fuck with you again.

This ia my point . I need a trump card in case. I'm a legit guy these guys are disgusting lowlife chavs . I fear not to inflict serious damage if i literally have no other option

I fought back the second time these group of lads followed me out of a party and as I was walking they shouted something so I turned around and saw about 15 of them scattered in the street.
I ran up the road when one of the faster of the group caught up with me and asked for my phone like straight up 'give me your phone' so I said no he punched me I dropped him and as he was going down and I was about to throw another shot i think I was flying kicked in the face possibly a knee and then kicked on the ground I managed to protect my face abit with my forearms and my body with my knees but they still busted my lip chipped one of my front teeth in half and gave me a shadow under my eye but my ribs were fucked for ages. user just make sure you don't find yourself alone walking in their areas just use your head

Oh and the real bullshit was they thought I was someone else

Its all talk mate

It's all talk until you offer them out to a fight. Should have just shit talked them back and laugh at them if they tried to fight you.

Roll of coins in a fist makes your punch mean as fuck

Also, move to a country that isn't overrun by retarded liberal mentality, you fucking cuck

Get brasserie knuckles and get rid of it once you have fucked them up.

>Get a Bullpoint Pen
>make it Sharp with a Pen sharpener
>PROFIT

Also aim for the stomach or neck , that are the best points to get people down & R easy to hit

get two long socks (double them up inside, to make it one single more durable sock)

fill the socks with rocks, loose household parts like spare door knobs, or shit that would fucking hurt if it got swing at them.

Trust me, you can fuck someone up and if the sock is long enough, you can have range on them. Just make sure to fill it with a decent amount but not so much that it becomes cumbersome.

good luck., and for future reference, buy a fucking gun.

Just accept getting banged out, lets be real the/b boys aren't gonna be able to bail you out of this one nerd

and what are you going to do now that there's a public record of your intention of fashioning a weapon?

jesus christ you're retarded

Not an option I'm not going back to jail.

Their area is incidentally my area.

get yourself one of these bad boys

Liverpool Sup Forumsro here, dealt with a fair deal of chavs and ketwigs in my time. Just give them a lucozade and a pot noodle each and they'll let you off lad

You must be from one of those cuck countries in western and Northern Europe except Switzerland. I'm American so I can carry guns and knives everywhere totally legal. I also thought that if you defend yourself in those countries you will get fined and or put in jail really sucks.

Living in fantasy land is fun from what I have heard.

Christ..
I read "bandana" as "banana", twice, and wondered WTF you were on about.

OP - depending on how long term this is, take up contact juggling. A single 4 inch clear acrylic ball, in a sock, will do shit loads of damage to someone and you keep them in socks to stop them getting scratched/ setting fires if left in direct sunlight.

Prevention being better than cure, just stay inside for a week or two until they've forgotten who you are.
Or just move to Argentina.

Maybe but he was a pretty crazy guy. He just kept shouting and shit I couldn't help but wonder him up
to be fair he insinuated fighting me I just called them on it
Not even going to argue
Just looking for advice
All I'm asking is if there is something I could be carrying that wouldn't be illegal.

Niggers are always a problem

God that's such a cucked country to live in

>what is intent

jesus christ you underage faggot, you've literally confessed to criminal intent in this thread

you're COMPLETELY FUCKED now if you get in a fight and do physical damage now once the police subpoena your ISP

Chavs are basically UK niggers , yea.

invite them round for tea and poison them with strychnine

This will fuck up your hand and fingers
Get a walking stick stupid. they're legal in england.

Yes we have already established this . I need advice not obvious statements.
That would be a pretty huge coincidence. I'm asking how to have deniability not how to go out and stab people .
Also I know the girl in this picture which was posted to b a few days ago. Couldn't believe it. However although I'm certain its her all sandniggers look basically the same to me

Find the biggest and meanest asshole and beat him up bad and if you can, disable him by breaking enough bones. Works great in most situation if you know how to handle yourself.

If you want a real show, break the opponents collarbone, that shit will disable even some junkies that are high as fuck. If you don't have enought strenght barehanded, use a crowbar or a baseball bat... or someting blunt and heavy.

T. user

ballpoint pen or a magazine.
not joking. you can wreck fucking shop with a pen or a magazine.

This op.

So let me get this straight. You're saying that on your island, you can KNOW that your life is in danger and you still can't carry a weapon in self defense?

When the bobby's ask me why a young fit strapping young lad has a walking stick what do I say? Think mcfly!!!!

He's not in prison you retard.

> Wasted quads

Holy fuck 6666 ,,but yes as I've already said I live in a shitty beurocracy controlled ass country okay? I need advice .

Fuck user this made me laugh

You say it makes long ass walks easier, a hiker friend showed you
I'm talking a straight up staff like as tall as your shoulders at least, you use it like a bow staff, the rest of the day you clack around town switching it back between hands, pushing against the ground, makes walking like 40% more efficient
Only problem is you can't conceal it.
If getting jumped gets you killed how did you survive getting jumped 15 times?
I'm just kidding I see your point but who was jumping you, 5 year olds? Senior citizens?

Neither was I when I did it you retard pussy nu-male. I was in school and now 15 years later i'm still not in prison. Why? Because the guy had an ego problem so he didn't tell who did it, else others would know how easy it was to beat him up.

You act like not going to prison is this big accomplishment, guess how we know you're a nigger.

and what, pray tell, is a brasserie knuckles?

You guys kill me

what am i looking at here?

Haha you couldn't be more wrong, i'm white. Your generation is just too soft to do anything really, all talk and nothing else.

I assume you're not in the good ol' US of A cause i carry a knife always but this is an UZI tactical pen should do the trick

just don't be a fucking pussy

what did you do to piss these people off?

>The police would deem me carrying a knife as me intending to hurt someone.

Well no shit. I CC because i fully intend to hurt anyone who tries to hurt me.

Get yourself a lil Gerber razor blade folding knife. I keep losing mine but while I have them I'm oayched

Stop being a whiny bitch and just take the ass whoopin you probably deserve.

You ride the bus any? Carry a roll of quarters in your pocket, makes impact a good bit worse when you make a fist around the roll and swing like hell. Just my two cents, good luck user.

If you carry it for a safety tool like incase in a car crash and need to cut a seat belt or thoughts like that you should be fine

buy one of these, you say you have french origins, you tell you have one because you like to eat with it," its your grandpa that gave it to you."
Also nice to make real sandwich or cut some fags
laguiole-attitude.com/57-couteau-laguiole-artisanal

Also on the juggling theme you've got whip cracking, throwing knives and juggling knives. Juggling knives might be blunt and fuck but when you've got one in each hand a dumb chav wont be able to tell and you'll always have a spare as you need 3 to juggle.

Where in the Uk are you?

fuck off 9gag

Unless you wanna deal with the charges after you stab them I suggest just going with a blunt object. Maybe an old broken phone or something. That's what I used to do when I was in my shitty hometown

I can't believe no one has suggested this yet. Use your house/car keys or use a spare key that you don't need/use.
Clench your fist and hold it between your index finger and thumb and then go for the faces. It's also good to use a wrist lanyard or grip the lanyard in your hand to avoid dropping it.

This has got me out of some trouble several times. No questions are asked as to why you were carrying a key on you.

Good luck user, post another thread telling us what happened. IF it happens.

real life doesn't have gangs of psychopathic bad guys stalking innocent citizens.

So first of all, anyone who's got people out to get them is probably a criminal themselves, and nobody wants them carrying around weapons. Better they get hurt than some innocent bystander.

Second of all, escalating is never a good idea. As I said, it's very unlikely that an innocent person will be attacked by a full on psycho who will actually kill them. At worst it'll end up in a beating, more likely some pushing and shoving and maybe a black eye. If you introduce a knife into the mix it exponentially raises the chances that someone will get seriously hurt, and by no means is it guaranteed that it'll be the assailant.

Third of all, the best strategy for a victim is simply to run the fuck away. Allowing them to carry a weapon just encourages them to make the stupid choice, i.e. to stay and fight.

Call me a pussy all you like, but personally I like living in a country with murder rates that are less than 1/4 America's

It's called civilisation. You should try it some time.

use mace and run like a bitch, or by a .380 handgun you kike.
Police are going to be understanding if a bunch of niggas roll up on you.
In the state I live in, there is this gay law about not being able to carry a knife bigger than your palm, but since I am a tiny 120 lb sissy trap, the only time I was ever searched by police they didn't give a fuck I had such a big knife on me

This is terrible advice. You'll hit one guy and maybe break your finger giving a guy a cut face then the other two will throw you on the ground and kick your head in because you can't box one person while you're wrestling another. Also this won't knock the guy out he just have a cut and be really mad so he go apeshit trying to fucking hurt you when you're already outnumbered.

You will likely lose regardless if what you are armed with for that reason. If you are outnumbered you will almost always lose in any situation where you are attacked by more than one person simultaneously because people who really want to hurt don't take turns attacking you one at a time like a Kung fu movie, they will grab your clothing and hit you from different angles simultaneously, there is no defence for this.

Gun or knife might save you from them but not from getting throat fucked by bubba for 10 years in prison after you murder someone.

Best defence is running away or de-escalation by being a good or reasonable person or by paying them.

-31 year old lifelong martial artist, BJJ purple belt, training kickboxing since teenager.

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