Hey Sup Forums, I really need some advice. If you don't wanna read...

Hey Sup Forums, I really need some advice. If you don't wanna read, I know it's a lot to read so I'll TL;DR at the bottom. I beg you to search for the soft and rational side inside you to answer this question, because this is really fucking me up and I need some real advice.

**Im gonna give some background info first. If you dont care for it, you can just skip down to the important part below which I'll mark.**

So I had been single for 2 years after coming out of a 3 year relationship. Mostly felt disgusted by most chicks because Im pretty picky to be honest. Not to be cocky or anything, but I'm very much ideal as a person and I expect the same from a girl, so I don't want to be in a relationship with just any chick. I also take my relationships seriously so I wanted to wait for a girl that I could actually fall in love with.

So what happened was I was kind of just swiping around on Tinder (greasy, I know) and I met some chick on there, and her and I hit it off and we talked a lot. I took her out once, it didn't go extremely well because she was kind of shy, but I figured she had potential so I asked her out again and it went well, we ended up making out in the back of my car and whatnot.

So anyway I had been talking to her for a month and she made it pretty obvious that she liked me and she'd be down to date me. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend one day when I had her over at my house and she said yes, so yeah that was pretty cool.

******HERES THE IMPORTANT PART*********

So as of now her and I have been dating for a week, and it's been great. We've talked about me going to meet her parents and we hang out a lot and we've made good advances sexually and whatnot, and so far everything had been okay, but then one day she told me she wanted to talk to me about something so I went and picked her up. What she told me is that a month ago she pretty much got raped. Cont'd in the replies.

Now, it wasn't rape rape. It was just non consensual sex. One day she was super drunk and had no way of getting home, so this guy picked her up and instead of taking her home right away offered to take her inside and feed her, and while they were up there he basically just turned off the lights and went at it. She was too drunk to do anything about it, and he dropped her off home later.

She got super fucked off of this and her self worth dropped, and she ended up just hoeing around and sleeping with a lot of guys. She fucked five guys over a month by just going to parties and whatnot. Hasn't gotten any STDs or gotten pregnant or anything, but yeah. She even told me that she met up with the guy who raped her again. Didn't tell me if they had sex again, but she told me they met up later.

I'm 19, I'm still a virgin (by choice, not that I cant get any. I'm kinda just "waiting for the one"). I've never done any hookups or anything, only ever been sexually involved with people I was in a relationship with, and honestly hearing her tell me all this shit FUCKED me up so bad. Like I always think about it and it just makes me feel angry. I was just chilling with her tonight and I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't want to break up with her because I really like her and honestly shes perfect in every other way, her personality is perfectly compatible with mine. I dont have any concerns about her loyalty, her and I have made that part super clear, and she's acted upon it and everything, so I don't have fear that she'll cheat on me. My only concern is how the fuck do I deal with this on my own? How do I tackle this insecurity of mine?

If anyone can offer advice, that would be great. Thanks a lot for reading. I'll TL;DR in a separate reply.

TL;DR:

New girlfriend got raped once in the past, it made her self worth go down like hell, and in an attempt to validate herself, she fucked 5 guys in a month. I came along and she fell for me so she stopped being a hoe. I dont want to break up with her. How do I handle this?

Kek. Don't touch her. She needs to get tested.

She has been tested. Plus tbh I've done some examination of my own, I know she's clean.

1)stop being a pussy
2)stop being a pussy

you barely know her, her past doesnt apply to you

So you mean I shouldn't care about her past? Cause tbh I know I really shouldn't but it's just something that bothers me.

This is so naive lol

Can you elaborate on your opinion?

Honestly OP, the best thing to do is to talk to her. If you treat relationships as seriously as you say, then going into one with any false pretenses could lead to resentment and anger in the long run. Being open and clear about how this makes you feel will start a precedent for a open and honest relationship. Plus, if she flakes out because of the discussion, she probably isnt worth the time to invest in her anyhow. That's just my view. Wish you the best of luck.

you shouldnt i mean

you trust her right? so hwta if she had her phase, the avg sex parthenrs is like 8 i think i understand you are a virgin but you need to relax

when you start having sex and you get your tally up you think a girl not dating you cause you slept with 5 other girls is okay?

Just know that basically any girl you'll have a relationship with in the future has probably fucked at least 5 guys. The time period is irrelevant i think...

I agree, honesty is the best policy.

Ive already talked to her about it and she was extremely supportive about it which I loved, but at the same time Im still not over it and I dont want to keep talking to her about it because I dont want her to feel like Im judging her

I mean I wouldnt have cared as much if it wasnt all at once. Like 5 guys in a month. If it was over a year that would still be pretty fucky for me but in a MONTH?

So OP. I am somebody that is in your boat. I waited tell this year (I am 18) to finally lose my virginity to a girl I felt really deserved it. She was really, really special to me. Tho here is where we relate. I had never been with any other girl before, but she had slept with 2 other guys. Not a big deal right? Well to me, it tilted the shit out of me. The first one she fucked, basically was her douche bag ex. He pressured her into doing absolutely everything for the first time. You name it, they did it. She isn't a prude so she was down for anything but that didn't mean she wanted to do it all, but of course he made her. So they had done every position, and every hole together, multiple times with him usually forcing and borderline raping her to do it. This obviously tilted the fuck out of me, because I felt first times were something extremely special (and still do), so the fact that I only got to do maybe 2 things for the first time with her had me really hurting when I thought about it.

The second guy she fucked was some guy after she had broken up with her ex. Just some random guy that she had feelings for and used her to fuck her once. This also pissed me the fuck off because how could anyone use my girl like that? I would think my self into anger and just want to knock these dudes out for what they did. But here is what I grew to understand, and what you need to.

Girls have so many options and pressures to fuck. Hell, if us guys had girls asking us every single day to fuck, dam right we would be slaying pussy all day. Girls for the most part do a good job of not fucking up, but occasionally they do, and we can't fault them for that. Sure, she fucked some guys, she fucked up. But it is in the past, we are all human. And the number one most important thing you need to realize, is that girls think way fucking differently than men. If you two fuck, she won't be comparing you to them, or thinking about them at all like you might think. cont>>

so what? if you had the opportunity to fuck 10 beaiutiful women in 10 days you wouldnt?

+1

She will be 100% focused on you, and all of her feelings will be on you if she truly wants you. Trust me, it is how girls minds work. Trust her, and trust yourself mate. In the end, she fucked other guys and I know that is hard to deal with. But she is yours now, and none of those dudes can say that. None of those dudes can say they have her affection like you do. Cherish that man, you will get over it. It is all just to do with the male brain, and wanting to be sure we are the only possible father to the child we subconsciously want to produce. Trust me, I talked to my psychologist about this. Good luck OP, love that girl.

Did he atleast feed her a bowl of eggs?

Not proud to admit it but this made me half laugh and tear up at the same time because you've basically captured exactly how I feel. You're so right its scary, but like how do I go about getting over that feeling of anger or insecurity?

God I sure hope he did or else why the fuck did he even bring her in??

Nick plz

>guys caring about their vcards

top kek

you should of had that shit lost

By pounding that pussy and asserting dominance and that your dick is the only thing she wants

No he's just an idiot. Obviously you should care about the past. If you met a chick who spent 20 years in prison for being extremely abusive would you really just say "welp that was the past I'm sure it has absolutely no bearing on her character"? Fuck no, you would turn 360 and walk away if you possessed even a modicum of rational thought. And you should. And if the genders were flipped the girl ought to do the same. Don't play nice guy and feel bad about judging someone for their stupid decisions, we judge people all the time and we do so for our own benefit and safety.

Now that said, I'm obviously not implying that her going through some kind of hoe phase after getting raped is as bad as spending 20 years in prison for abuse charges. It's up to you how harshly you want to judge her for that. I'd probably give her a shot but keep my eye on her for any possible sign of her lapsing back into hoeing, and be prepared, emotionally, to cut ties to her if it happens. But there's really not right or wrong reaction here. It's more a matter of personal preference. Flat out ignoring it, however, doesn't make you a "nicer" guy, just a more naive guy.

Yeah tbh I know, but like I spent 5 years of my life in relationships and we were young during the time so sex was never really brought up until now, and I dont fuck with the hookup thing so it was only a matter of when I'd get into a new relationship.

Honestly it would be this easy for me if I wasnt a virgin, but I fear that on my first time I wont be able to perform incredibly well. I can kiss well and I've made her come every time I ate her out, but sex is new for me so idk how I'll please her. Any tips?

If you can't get past it then you should break up with her. But you should totally just get over it because sex doesn't mean as much to everyone else as it apparently does to you. My girlfriend has slept with exponentially more people than I have and I don't give a fuck because you don't reach back in time before your relationship to find shit to be upset about. She's got no STDs, she isn't cheating on you, and she likes you. Obviously you care about her because you're jealous about something you could never have any control over, so you should stick with her. Be her stability, make her feel good about herself again. Let go of the petty jealousy.

Also fuck this captcha shit for real

Having not read any of the other replies

1) Stop thinking about yourself and focus on helping her get over being raped

2) If youre upset about the fucking five guys thing, literally no one is a snowflake anymore. If she was safe and smart about it, its literally no problem. In fact, you stand to gain, as she'd be a better fuck, if only slightly.

Bottom line is, help her get over that, and move forward. Her fucking dudes in the past is completely irrelevant.

Completely agreed. I like the way you think. This is pretty much exactly what I was looking for, as well as that one guy up there ^. Very rational

Her and I had a talk about the rape thing and I told her I wanted to help her get over it, but she told me she doesnt want me to help her because she doesnt want me helping her to get involved in our relationship, which is understandable. Plus, she also said she hasnt really been emotionally scarred from it or anything.

As for your second point, yeah, you're right about that.

First time i fucked, my problem was staying hard (but this was when i was drunk and with some random hook up). You probably wont have this problem with your girl. If you give her head well and make her feel amazing/make her cum, you could fuck her for 30 seconds and she wont care. Pussy feels really good but i think it's easy not to cum fast if you put your mind to it.

Basically if she gets her nut because of you, that's better than 90% of any other guy thats had her

Honestly my concern is a bit on the contrary. One time she was giving me head and she legit went for 45 mins and I didn't come. I was hard as rock the whole time so its not an erectile issue but like I just couldn't come. She also told me when it comes to sex, she doesn't come from penetration, only if the person "uses their hands" so I assume she'd want me to play with her clit or something. But like, lets say I feel like Im not gonna nut, when do I pull out and just start eating her out?

Same user here.

What you are feeling stems a lot from lack of self worth OP. That is a big demon many people face, but it starts by telling yourself that it doesn't matter, no matter how many dudes she has fucked. This is hard, and trust me I know it is. You ever wonder why some guys can date pornstars or strippers and not be bothered by it? Well I can tell you probably have, and I will answer why for you.

They don't think to themselves "Oh she is going to compare me to them" or "What if I am not good enough" or any shit like that. Those dudes just know they are the man and their girl only wants them. When you can force yourself to think like that, you will feel a lot more confident.

You can talk to her sure, but don't do it too much. Girls don't like if you continuely show that you aren't confident in yourself. Trust me when I say it is good to be open, but sometimes you gotta have some bravado for your girl. You are the man OP. Her man. Own that and the rest will come. What you are suffering from will only be fixed from a great deal of mental conditioning. Waking up in the morning and telling yourself that you are good enough when you look in the mirror. You got this mate.

About not being able to cum:stop jerking off for 2 weeks. It will be really difficult and require a lot of willpower, but do it, problem solved. Also just chill because she obviously likes you enough that not performing well doesn't matter, she will still be with you pretty much whatever happens in bed.

On your second point im not really sure what you mean by that, if you are going to cum then just pull out and nut on her stomach? Make her cum with foreplay, play with her boobs and pussy, finger her and rub her g spot, put in like 10 or 15 minutes of work before penetration and she will melt in your arms.

Also lay off on the porn and death grip when jerking

That's not terribly abnormal for a girl. Dated a couple of women like that. Typically I ate them out before the sex so I could pretty much just focus on my own pleasure during the actual sex. Kinda not as fun as women who can cum during sex but it's not difficult to work around.

I was going to take this really seriously before I saw that you're 19. Holy shit kid, grow up. Everyone does shit in their life that other people find odd. You having an issue with it is your problem. Is she still fucking other people? No? Then it shouldn't bother you unless you don't trust her and think she will do it again. Expecting girls to have been reserved princesses and suddenly become all sexy just for you is retarded. most girls are on a similar level of horny as guys, and have fucked more than guys. Get over it...... (I know this sounds insensitive, but honestly in a few years you will see that it's like this with s so many aspects of life, not just sex. You have to accept that people are their own and getting stuck on things you don't like will only make YOU miserable)

Considering your average 19 year old has an average cock count of 30+ I'd say she's almost as pure as they get. I wouldnt be surprised if she got wasted and cheated on you though. sorry, "raped".

I actually love you man youre telling me exactly what I need to hear. Ive been doing okay at the whole confidence part. Outside of this scenario I've been playing it off well. I mean she was asking me if she could go to her friends birthday party knowing it would be the turnup type and I hit her with a calm "yeah go enjoy yourself babe" or whatever with a smile even though I lowkey wasnt too keen on it, so I've been doing okay with that. I know you might not be down with this but like is there some way I can keep contact with you? I like the way you think and I feel like you could really offer me guidance when I need it.

This was good advice, thanks a lot. I'll keep this all in mind.

I feel you, but I might play it the other way around, cause as far as I've seen, after she comes shes mostly done for a while, so Id like to fuck her til I cum then eat her out afterwards

It's alright, Im gonna need some insensitivity tbh. I get that I'm being kind of a pussy and I need to toughen up so I needed to hear this. Thanks a lot.

Yeah I feel you, but at the same time she's not really going to be partying or anything. She's been in two relationships and they both were like 2 years plus and she never cheated, so Im not very concerned. Plus she goes very extra on making sure I know she wouldnt.

>I don't have fear that she'll cheat on me

>being this naive

She wasn't raped. She just made a preemptive cover story for her promiscuity so you don't drop her in case you discovered her sexual history.

A friend of hers who's been my close friend for years validated the story. What youre saying is plausible but like this is something she's legit seen counseling about and all her close friends know about it, so I doubt it.

I didn't read the rest of the thread but if you find her that good for you, i'd say go for it. She obviously feels comfortable enough around you to talk about this, so it should be a good thing.
I had a pretty similar experience, she was almost raped, but being clear headed she was able to avoid it (at a party, no way to get home, and it was the host so she had to spent the night there while her friend was getting wild next door with her own bf). But this had to total opposite effect, she wouldn't do anything more than making out and touching for a long time. But in the end it was sooo worth it, best 5 years of my life.

So yeah go for it, get over this and maybe help HER to deal with it since it must still bother her a little bit, and is right, don't be a pussy!

>user here again

Yea for sure, just made a new Kik: Jamesman618

Yeah I'm not trying to be a douche. I recently went through a breakup with a girl I'd been with for four years and lived with, but I'm now coming out the other side happier because I had to deal with all the internal emotional shit and feel stronger because of it. someone else said confidence is the biggest thing. this is true, for EVERYTHING in life. People only see your outside, put on a brave face and people will think you're strong, and in turn you will feel stronger (obviously you have to deal with things properly, but it's a starting point, and it really helps). Also think, does the bad shit really matter? Even if it is bad, does feeling shit about it help? The world is full of horrible things, THAT YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT, so you have to focus on yourself and the good or you will go crazy. And most importantly: time. Stuff like this seems really intense and it's easy to ovvereact and panic and do something stupid. Always try to remain calm and think before you act, don't do anything rash. In time you will either work through it (good!) Or still be bothered by it (time to move on)

Great, I'll add you up.

Yeah I feel you. Thanks a lot.

This is all very true. I see what you mean. I just need to get my confidence up and sort of tough through it

Oh and your first time won't be great. Whatever you do to prepare better, it will be meh at best. But since she isn't a virgin anymore she will be able to guide you a little bit more so it's a good thing. It will quickly get better though.
And what are you saying pulling out to eat her out before coming? Except if you think about it as a contraception method (which is a baaad idea), you will miss the best part about actual sex man, especially if she's on the pill and you don't use a condom. Just ram it as deep as possible and fill her up, there is no real classy way to say that, but this feels just fucking amazing.
THEN you eat her out

LOL unfortunately she literally just came off the pill like a week ago so I wont get that leisure unfortunately.

/thread

If the problem what hormonal, go with a copper IUD (since the hormonal one would fuck her up at least as bad as the pill).
But still, coming inside her with a condom is a pretty good feeling. Or there is a lot of other ways to come without any fear of pregnancy