At what point is it OK to cheat on your girlfriend?

At what point is it OK to cheat on your girlfriend?

We've been together for four years, and our sex life has declined drastically. We are both very busy, but, whenever we do have time, she always has some excuse: either being busy, not feeling well, whatever BS. I'm lucky to have sex twice a month. I'm 30 and she's 28. I've all but given up even trying for the last 6 months.

Now this incredibly attractive girl that I work with has started flirting with me hardcore, and I had to turn her down the other night because I've never cheated on a girlfriend. She's never cheated on a boyfriend, but is in kind of the same situation where her BF has been distant and they never have sex.

I think we're both just looking for sexual release. She told me she hasn't orgasmed in two years.

Pic related. My dick could be in there.

sounds like your gf is already fucking around behind your back

Tell your bitch that your going to start getting pussy twice a week. She gets to pick if it's hers or not.

/micdrop

I have had that suspicion, but haven't seen anything to prove it.

There's a paid service you can use that will spy on her cellphone. texts, calls, emails, photos, any social media. Gotta bring her into line.

and what service is that exactly?

I snoop through her phone a couple of times a month. We live together, so it isn't hard, especially when she passes out drunk. Either she is very good at covering her tracks, or she hasn't actually been up to anything.

Just be a man and break up with her. If sex is this important to you, what makes you think things will be better in the future? If you have given it a serious try to fix your sex life and it hasn't worked, then dump her. Don't be a fucking coward and cheat on her. Do the right thing and go your separate ways, telling her she just isn't meeting your requirements sexually, so you are moving on.

There is never a reason to cheat. Grow some balls and be a fucking man.

Simple answer: Never.

If you're unhappy with something in your relationship then you need to tell your partner about it. That might sound beta as fuck, but if you put aside the "hurr durr alpha" bullshit that most of the 15 year olds on Sup Forums like to communicate while sitting friendless in their rooms, you'll realize that it's really that fucking easy.

Now, what happens from there is up to the two of you. Perhaps you're just not going to stay together, and that's just fine, too. It'll hurt some, and then it'll get better. You'll fucking live, in other words. Then again, perhaps you'll figure out your issues and realize that this is something you can fix.

Either way, be an honest human being, OP. If all else fails, at least you'll have that going for you. Not a lot of people do these days.

yeah that's kind of why I haven't done it yet.

But a break up would be exceptionally messy right now. We have 5 months more on our lease, and she is about 4 months away from graduating with her Masters. I want to see if things get better once she is finally out of school, but I have a bad feeling it won't. I've kind of made a mental ultimatum that if she continues to not care once she is out of school, then I would dump her.

The last time I expressed my concerns about my needs, she basically told me she didn't care. So I really don't think things will get better. But for the first 3 years, we had sex 3+ times a week.

This

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very interesting.

Some of this I do know, but big chunks of it make sense, too.

i knew a couple of those bullets, thx for the other insight

Underrated post

Then in the mean time look for a new place to live, and drop her ass and move out the second the lease ends. Until then, do what you can and don't cheat. You're a man, not a fucking primate. You can last a few more months with shitty sex.

ask her... sounds like she's been getting dicked down on the reg

Agree to have an open relationship, and be honest about it. Then the both of y'all can get whatever poontang is desired without cheating.

All of this is true, but I posted it on here kind of half jokingly, after a few glasses of whiskey.

Kind of terrifies me that Sup Forums is giving out real advice now. I actually feel like this has helped me. To be honest, I was hoping for a bunch of "just cheat on her" posts so maybe I'd draw on that and care less if I did.

fucking cheat on her pussy

she is sexy as fuck, no one will get hurt, and fucking a new sexy bitch for the first time in years will feel absolutely glorious. like you are having sex again

This

i cheat quite often... happy to answer questions

it's never okay. either break up with her and then fuck the person you want, or renegotiate your monogamy.

dude, no. at what point is it OK to cheat? never.
if you are unhappy with your partner, TRY to fix it, and if that doesn't work, you need to move on because it won't fix itself mate. you need two to tango.

if it all fails then at least you can walk away knowing you actually tried to fix it, as well as walking straight into some sweet new sugar walls. good luck op, new girl is a babe, would appreciate some nudes if it comes to it.

She have a lot of study sessions for school?

Me and my wife have been tighter for about 13 years now. A few years ago she started to act not interested in sex and didn't want to have sex hardly at all. I talked to her about it once or twice and she didn't seem to care about my needs.

So I was like fuck it I'm going to sink this marriage. I cut her off completely, no sex when she decided she wanted it, no cuddling, no hugs or kissing. I wouldn't take her out and do anything with her. Spent most of my time with friends. After about 6 months of that shit I came home one day went to bed and she attacked me and gave me the fucking of my life. Ever since then when I don't even have ask she's always initiating the sex.

Im not him but google the truth spy

just flirting with her at work makes me feel like I'm in high school again.

I usually wear my work key ring on a belt loop with a carabiner, and she kept unclipping it and moving it to the belt buckle on the other side, and grazing my cock on the way. Not fucking her tonight was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

She even made a comment that my dick seemed more anxious than I did, because she could tell it got a little hard. She is so incredibly sexy about things. It annoys me that this girl I've known for 5 months turns me on so much, and then I get home to my GF and she barely says hello to me.

You turned that down? What are, gay?

>This.
Don't pussy out op.
Don't back down if she responds unfavorably at first.
Be confident once, let her see that you are in charge of you. That is all it will take.

she has clinical and work and school a lot. Very rarely does she do projects or anything else with other people. And if she does, it is part of her FB group of friends, all of which are girls that I know. She might be cheating, but she's hiding it well.

hmmm. I suppose it could be possible that this would happen. The last time we did have sex, she initiated it. I have barely tried for the last few months because I always got turned down for whatever reason.

Go for it, life is too short. Just make sure your gf doesn't find out if you are serious about the relationship. And wear a rubber...

It was possibly the most difficult thing I've done. I've been hit on while I was in a relationship before. I've always been able to turn it down. Some of the girls were pretty cute. This one, though, is the most attractive. She could easily be the most attractive girl I've slept with.

what does she do for school? Any dudes in her class?

Go for it Op.. Stuff some guts and bust some nuts.

She's finishing her Master's in Nursing. So... yes, but not many.

>guy posting his life advice on Sup Forums
>that proves he's successful in life and that his advice is valid.

flawless logic.

but seriously, like the guy after that OP said: some of that things are true-ish generally, some are true w.r.t. some women, some are borderline bullshit. I've fucked girls without any gymnastics or without playing; it's usually enough to be at least 7/10 looking, 7/10 smart and 7/10 confident, and to simply get them drunk, high or exhausted (by e.g. many consecutive hours of dancing, sports, talking etc.) at the first occasion, and, if you'll get at least to 1st base, keep up the pace later on. You'll fuck her eventually - the question is not "if", but "is it worth it".

For me, nowadays it just ain't. I prefer a single woman instead out of pure convenience. I've taught her to act *against* her instincts, and to fuck *according* to them. Makes her ditzy enough in the sheets, and spares me most of the maintenance problems. She's a nice girl, so I think she deserves to learn how to *not* be a stupid bitch, instead of being enabled to it.

How does you gf look compared to her? any pics?
Its just comes down to feeling guilty after it all.

>She told me she hasn't orgasmed in two years.
She is being neglected by her bf? Fuck her right in the pussy.

You have needs. She has needs. You each could satisfy those needs for eachother. What is there to think about here? Your gf cares so much about your relationship that she is leaving you sexually starved. Her bf cares just enough to "not be in the mood" for 2 years.

At worst your current gf finds out & her bf finds out. Most people would leave the "cheater" so you would both be single shortly after. Then nobody would be there to make you question what would be right or wrong about it.

>Tl;Dr: Man the fuck up op. If you are going to end up doing something, don't stand around with your dick in your hand waiting for permission, just fucking go for it.

My girlfriend isn't as attractive. I could post a picture, but I'm not going to. When we met, she had some fantastic qualities, and she is cute, but, quite frankly, the girl hitting on me is significantly more attractive.

extremely underrated. I've done it, and, after going through all the drama (and after actually having to fuck other puss for some time), she finally came to her senses and realized that fucking is not a visit to a dentist's. If she's not in the mood, she can fuck without the mood; I don't have to be in the mood either. I don't need to be in a mood for hugging to hug her. IMO that's what partnership is about; you sometimes do things for the other person, either because you care for him/her/it or simply so that he/she/it can repay it in some way later. If you can't do that, it's not a relationship, it's not even a relation.

more pics of any of those girls, or GTFO.

OP here, really one of the things I struggle with. She'll be "too tired" to do anything. I actually really enjoy handjobs. She could jerk me off for 6 minutes and I'd be at least somewhat happy. But then when she can't fall asleep, she wants me to snuggle with her for 20 minutes because it helps her fall asleep.

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thanks OP, good to know you're not the usual faggot.

I'd certainly fuck without hesitation BTW, just for the sake of it. Good to have some prime quality memories of manhood so when you're too old to acquire HQ pussy as that without paying $$ for it, you won't feel like your life was a total pile of shit.

Believe me or not, but it's easier for me to live as a happy bastard, than as a sad fail - and it's hard to be happy as a man without knowing you are or at least were able to score high in your life.

it's a man's job to set the boundaries. If you can't, she can blame you for it, because you're the one to blame. If you can neither force her, trick her or convince her to cooperate with you nor leave her nor cheat her, then, with all respect, you deserve to be miserable, and she's right she's not caring about you, because you're not caring about yourself either.

>and she's right she's not caring about you, because you're not caring about yourself either.

kinda hits home. I try to think about myself, but I end up doing whatever crap she wants first.

"I'm horny"
"Well, I need to do this load of laundry and finish a little homework before I can think about that."
**spends 20 minutes on facebook, finally takes care of the other shit she talked about."
"I'm just too tired now."

i was with my ex gf for 6 years. she actually put out, and gave me bj's several times a week, throughout, but eventually when i went out of state for a month for work, she cheated. i had multiple opportunities to sleep with other grills while i was with her, and i regret not taking advantage of those occasions, it sounds like your relationship is unlikely to work out ultimately, so i would fuck the shit out of your coworker, enjoy yourself, and then when you and your gf break up, you won't have missed a good opportunity for nothing, hell your coworker might end up the love of your damn life..

This... never miss chances in life.

She's telling you she wants you to do more of the housework. Help her out and you'll get laid.

So, I haven't said this yet, but I'm actually her manager. Which could create some issues, but I'm not at a corporate place where that's a deal-breaker. Morally, that is a reason I've considered against it, but the other reason was that I was worried it would be more than just sex. I might be falling for her for more than just her looks. That kind of scares me, too.

Basically, you want to fuck her, and came here to get reasons to convince yourself of something you already decided. Just fuck her already!

We did actually have that exact conversation. We had a lot to drink, and she told me that she was really annoyed that I didn't do more around the apartment, and I asked her if she was holding out on sex because of it, and she basically said yes. I'm not opposed to keeping a clean apartment, but she is OCD about some things, to the point where it serves no purpose for me to do it. If I load the dishwasher, she moves everything around so it's to her liking.

I kind of like this answer. I'm really not one to consult social media, but I had a few drinks and was curious what Sup Forums would say. The "popular vote" of this thread seems to be leaning more towards fucking her now.

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don't spend money on this, user..
try to seduce her all over again, talk to her, you're both adults now, express what you feel, she will do the same. or else dump the bitch

i wouldn't worry about being her manager. if you still want to try and see if things work out with your gf ( by the sounds of it i doubt it ) .. then just keep it discreet with the coworker grill for a few months til your lease and other shit is up.. then time to make an executive decision.

She's trolling you to see how far she can push you. Tell her if she wants the dishes done a specific way she either has to teach you properly or that has become her job from now on. Since she won't do the former, it is now the latter. You are not a child, and she's treating you like one and if she's going to do that, the door is always open for her to GTFO. It's a relationship, you don't need a new mommy.

user's truth is true truth

>implying women could be humans you should care about
Monogamy is a Meme.

It's always OK, why would you be faithful anyway?

Her sex drive didn't change. Either she's masturbating or getting it from another guy(s). Dump her and watch her find a new guy within a month.

She'll move out, you'll see each other less and less. Will start hanging a lot with a guy who is just a friend.

You guys will get even more distant. And some day she'll just dump you out of the blue.

You will never know she has been sleeping with that guy for 6 months before that.

Been on both sides.

It makes me hurt, but I've felt like if I dumped her, she would end up with one ex in particular. He's a real piece of shit, and I'm really not that jealous of a person.

She was engaged to someone about 6 years ago who ended up being gay. She still spends some time with him, which never bothered me, until our sex life started to fall apart and I kind of wondered if they both were reliving the old days.

lol engaged, hes "gay" .. riiight.. is he married to a dude, have you seen him blowing one? lol.. i'd be pretty fucking skeptical of that BS and wouldn't allow a gf to hang with an ex fiance.

It's never OK to cheat. Just break up with her. Your relationship has been over for a while anyway.

When we very first started "hanging out" we never made things exclusive. This is just more than four years ago. We were sleeping together and had some sort of agreement that we would tell each other if we were sleeping with someone else. I ended up hooking up with an ex. She got really mad about it, and we started to talk about becoming exclusive, but then a couple of weeks after, she hooked up with an ex. It was clearly revenge sex. That was the only time I know she kind of cheated on me.

Whats her name OP?

dude dont listen to these fucks, just go talk to her. say. Tell her that you bumed out of the relationship and need more. Either she is gonna jump on board or she is gonna turn you down at which point you leave and fuck other bitches. dont cheat on her tho its just a dog shit thing to do.

He has come over with a boyfriend. I don't mind hanging out with the guy (no homo). He seems incredibly gay.

this. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Man up and force a decision.

Trust your gut user.

She's guilt tripping you that you are not trusting her. She's giving you reasons not to trust her.

If you ask me, it's already over. She's just seeing how far she can push you before you break.

Talk to your girlfriend about it. If you don't like where the conversation goes then break up. You'll have to live with the fact that you cheated for the rest of your life if you go through with it.

I'm not going to answer that. There's more than a few of my friends who hang out on here. For all I know, some of her's do, too. I've been nervous to offer pictures of the other girl, but, for whatever reason, I don't want to post anything about my girlfriend

White knight confirmed

fem here

just got done dealing with pretty much this situation, i cheated after our sex life dropped.

in hindsight, it wasnt worth it. in hindsight, i should have just said "look, this isnt working for me and if we can fix our sex life, i want to see other people." those words alone would have been enough to jumpstart shit and put some fear in both our minds as to what COULD happen if we arent meeting eachothers needs.

if youre at the point where youve weighed the options and cheating sounds like a good deal just leave her.

>But a break up would be exceptionally messy right now. We have 5 months more on our lease, and she is about 4 months away from graduating with her Masters.
This is probably why she hasn't broken up with you despite losing that loving feeling.
But don't cheat, it means giving up the moral high ground,

>"We started talking about going exclusive"

>Sleeps with someone immediately

Look back at all the shit you put up with. List them all and imagine she did that in a month not in 4 years.

Would you still be with her?

>The last time I expressed my concerns about my needs, she basically told me she didn't care.
Should have dumped her after that.

Why do you even care about her lol, she doesn't care about you. What a waste of time...

I didn't talk to her for a few days, and she knew why. Then we fucked twice in a day, and then it took another couple of weeks before anything happened.

she should change the manufacturer of her pill.
sometimes "reduction of the libido" is an adverse reaction.

She's manipulating you with sex. She doesn't even enjoy it.

If you're still here OP, here's my advice.

You do what you want, but you do it smart. You want to fuck this chick, do it but cover your ass. I'm married, have been for 3 years, been cheating for all 3 and I've never gotten caught because I'm damn fucking careful.

I'm kind of a romantic. At this point, there is a chance that she is just really busy with things. She works 30 hours a week, has clinical for another 16 hours an then has class for another 20ish.

I guess I kind of wonder if the chance to take care of myself now could actually help me get through a rough patch and see if things get back to normal when she isn't really busy.

You're a moron, I hope this is bait. The only reason she's still with you is because she apparently depends on you to hold her over till she got her masters. You're right now helping her achieve her goals while you get nothing and she's already fucking another guy. And given she was able to straight up tell you that and you took it from her, you deserve it.

could be an option. I know she has changed her birth control in the past.

say straight to your girl friends face what you think, if I understand you correctly:
Tell her the relationship got stale and you want to spice it up again:
You want to have Sex again with your gf, maybe invite her somewhere awesome like a cool restaurant.
Tell her you know that she is unhappy and tell her you will be more active and manly again.

Ignore this bitch at your work place.
You are not a nigger who goes for the next best bitch to fuck.
If your gf is not changing, leave her

I have not looked at it in that exact way. Some different combinations, maybe...

But she dropped out of college previously to spend more time with a shitty bf... she used to tell me about it all the time. Not so much recently, but she could be using me as moral support with plans to move on.

Why do you focus on her? Investing time with any female is just WASTING your time. There's tons of pussy out there and none of these can feel anything but ambition.
No love, no compassion, no kindness, no respect. Every single woman just go for what they really want in life, using only reason and never letting emotions kept them away from their own success.
DO NOT LET THEM CATCH YOU. Just use them as the only thing they're worth for the effort: FUCKING.

Ask yourself. Who is paying for things. Who is keeping her afloat as she finishes of her masters. Who is keeping things running. You said your situation was messy to pull out of but most of that was refering to how it would impact her.

If the answer is mostly you. Then right now you're basically just the person paying for her stuff and enabling her to do the things she wants and she very much doesn't have to give you anything in return. Which means the moment you stop being useful in that regard, she's gone.

Which would mean, nuking the entire situation right now is the way to go. As otherwise she'll basically jump ship once she is done with it and sets fire to it while she's at it too. People going "but that's soooo unfair" would be people who'd advise you to go for some online scam aswell, because not falling for it would be unfair to the scammer. You yourself said she has no interest in sex, she finds various ways to blame everything on you to justify her own behaviour, if she's actually leeching off you she has a good reason to not dump you yet. Find clarification quickly, work this out for yourself soon because otherwise she ends up having fucked you in every way but the one she did someone else and gets to walk away from it laughing after.

Big pieces of how I feel in here. I just still get the feeling that she cares about me. I have been with her for four years. This current girl blatantly wanting to fuck me has been the biggest trial so far.

But it wouldn't be a problem if I was having sex even a couple of times a week. We make about even money, but I do offer my money towards things much more frequently. I do not pay for any of her schooling, but I do pay for nights out, entertainment and booze while she rarely offers to pay for such things

We'll split the cost of nights out occasionally, but more she never covers my end, and, more than not, I pay for her part.

Just simply fucking say I think we should "see other people."

Meant to make that reply to OP

I've come really close to just saying if she can't handle my sexual needs right now, and doesn't care, then we need to break up, or I'll sleep around. This stuff with my coworker has been really recent; only the last 3 days where I knew she wanted to fuck me. So I'm trying to figure out what the fuck I need to do. And I've considered all of these options, but It's still hard to decided on one.

tell her how you feel, you soft willed cunt

you're an adult

It's never OK. You can find excuses for it, at least for a while, but you're not supposed to enjoy cheating like "oh fuck yeah! i fucked other holes and my wife doesn't know! Ain't that awesome!"

The bottom line is that cheating is lying to your partner and lying to yourself. You can do it but don't expect that you will enjoy it after you cum.