Ok Sup Forums, it's already 3:00 a.m. here, I can't sleep...

Ok Sup Forums, it's already 3:00 a.m. here, I can't sleep, I just can't stop thinking of my life and what I am doing with it. I'm just typing this because I want someone to talk to all night long, or someone to just listen to me.

I'm a 18 years old guy, I dropped out college because I just couldn't stand it, besides I was in a major I didn't really enjoy. I'm currently unemployed and live with my dad.

My dad is a 50 year old man, a hard working person who loves me and my siblings. He really hoped I would made the grade, that one day I would be successful person since he always believed I was smart. I just can't forget his face of dissapointment when I told him I left school. Now I just can't stop feeling like a failure.

And the fact I am the black sheep in my family just makes me feel worse. I see my siblings hanging out with their friends and gf/bf. And I am still right here, with no friends, I'm even a kissless faggot. My social skills are just way down the average, the enough to get acquaintances but never a true friend. I don't really care if I die alone, I already accepted that destiny.

Thinking of finding a full time job as soon as possible so I can afford a college to study a major I want. But I have this bad habit negatively of everything I don't know why. I was actually diagnosed with depression by a psychology back in high school, and told me I am the one who stops myself from moving on with my life. But I just can't stop thinking bad about myself.

Any thoughts/advice Sup Forumsros? Thank you for reading my pathetic life .

Here's a picture of my ex for ya

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Try an antidepressant

are you the same guy from earlier?

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Stop taking things so seriously. You're going to be dead eventually and none of this will have mattered at all.

Also, comparing yourself to others never leads to anything good. Pursue something that makes you happy, regardless of whether it meets others' expectations

I don't think so.

Where's mom?

Don't quit

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>you're going to be dead eventually

You're god damn right, life is meaningless anyway. I'm trying my best to do what I love, but I just can't stop feeling kinda usless for being the only one in my family who dropped college, wasted my dad money and now is unemployed.

Sadly my mom died of cancer when I was 10.

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To be fair, spiderman thread often cheer me up, so thank you.

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If I were you I'd be looking for a major that you would actually enjoy. In the mean time you could just work a simple job like me (i deliver pizzas xD). So you have some money when school starts. And who knows you'll actually like your new study

Do they really work?

hey. I know how that feels when a parent dies of cancer. you are young and lived through some rough shit. I know that when you have depressions anything seems pointless anyway, but you have to set yourself some goals. and I don't mean status-related stuff, but goals that put you into a direction that will satisfy you from the inside. if you don't ndo that the vicious sicle of feeling like a failure will just continue, because you have nothing to pove yourself othewise. and if you don't set yourself goals, you won't get far because of your low motivation. I know doing what I suggest is hard and exhausting, but it will finally help you. set yourself realistic goals though. maybe go back to school. if that is not possible, do the next realistic thing like finding a small job or something like that. you can also set yourself goals concerning the development of your personality like becoming an honest person or whatever. I*Il give you a hug' - now move on

Do what said, my friend. Not everyone goes to school right at 18. Take some time, save up some money, maybe take a few tests to see where your interests lie.

You will hopefully build up social skills at your new job and make friends with co-workers since you'll see them every shift. Try get a job at a place where lots of young people work, like fast food. Great life experience working at the bottom of the barrel.

You remind me in some ways of myself when I was 18. I eventually went back to college, graduated top of my class, and am now living in Asia doing what I want.

I know this will sound like cliche advice perhaps, but instead of just saying "exercise" I'll suggest to you what greatly improved my mind and outlook. Go running at night. Just put in some headphones and listen to a podcast or music you like and go running. When you get home, take a shower and go to bed. You'll sleep so much better and the next day you'll actually feel better. It won't take long before you'll want to do that more than anything each day. Try it and see if it makes the same big difference for you and go from there.

OP just out of curiosity can u post a pic of yourself? I'm not going to be mean, jw

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A little tricky to tell by the glasses but you look to be a normal 18 year old who could get a girlfriend if he wanted to. I know guys way uglier than you with decent looking girls.

Chin up mate, you're young. It's normal to feel how you feel.

Not me.

I know its hard but try to get back into school and get involved with shit you want to do. It's the easiest way to meet people who are about the same shit you're about. Try to pick a major you enjoy, you can always change too so its not that big a deal.

Good luck to ya man

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Everyone is depressed OP. It's natural. Nut up or check out.

OP here.
Well I do have some life goals to distract myself. I'm currently learning other program languages, and learning to do some animations.

I know my interests, I would love to study music or animation and digital. But artist here have a really crapy life, none of my family supports such dreams.

Sorry I would like to stay user for a while.

See I had a feeling you have no reason to feel like you can't have a social life, idk your sexuality but from a females perspective you are good looking, so stop doubting yourself, seriously having just a small amount of confidence will help your social skills a ton. You are soo young, you have no reason to feel like a failure yet, I know you feel like you need to figure out your life right away, theres so much pressure to do something meaningful with your life. But you have time, so use it to figure out what you actually want to do and not what your family or society
wants. Everyone struggles to find and maintain friendships, especially after graduating, what I've found helped me find real friends was following my interests. Figure out what you enjoy doing, like say art, watching live music, video games, comic books, whatever it is, and go to events and join the communities where people share your interests. You will be more likely to meet compatible, like minded people. On average most ppl these days have many acquaintances, and only a few close friends, this is normal. Work to keep the good ppl close and the rest are whatever. I feel like I'm constantly running into other young ppl who have crippling self doubt and lack social skills, yet they are decently attractive and intelligent, I feel like the social media/internet and the media have affected our generation, many of us doubt ourselves, thinking we are alone, and failing in life. We, you, are not doomed to be lonely, awkward, failures for the rest of our lives. Just take a breath, trust yourself a little, and meet some worthwhile ppl. Then work on what you want for your future, take your time and you will make it, your dad will be happy eventually, and you can be happy now.

That's not really me thou. But I'll pretend I'm really that good looking and say thank you.

And well, it actually makes me feel better to know there are others who feel this way and I'm not the only one. Thanks for having such gentle talk with me.

OP here.

For those who wonder, what I'm looking forward to do with my life. Well thou many told my dreams are unrealistic, childish or stupid; I would love to make comic books, make cartoon series and make music. Because pretty much those things keep me alive.

But yeah, it is pretty much hard to accomplish when no body really support you with such life goal.

Yeah I saw that after I posted, I am betting you arent as bad off physically as you think, your worst critic is yourself, and our self perception is distorted. There are a lot of ppl out there feeling the same or worse, we walk around in our private misery, silently suffering for no reason really. Seriously if you reach out to others you will find an army of self doubters out there. I spent years having high anxiety, worrying about what I'm doing with my life, and having little social interaction. Finally I started taking to ppl and found even attractive, seemingly self assured ppl are freaking out with doubts, and I realized it's all self inflicted torture. I'm not trying to pep talk u into "positive thinking fixes everything", just that most of your anxiety and doubt is probably unwarranted, and self inflicted, if you stop being so hard on yourself, be a little bit more confident, or just less negative, you will see a difference in your social skills, and overall happiness. Get your self together and then you can get your life together. Your welcome btw

It's not an easy trade to get into but keep working at it, sharpen your skills and keep trying. You won't get anywhere unless you try, and f#ck everyone else who dont support you. This is your life, you have to do what makes u happy, they can eat their words when u make it. If you want to be careful, come up with plan B just in case you don't like it or something, just a 2nd skill to fall back on. Maybe do like the other poster said, join your local comic book community, go to events, meet other ppl into comics, or aspiring artists. Start learning and networking, maybe you will meet ppl who support you there.

Fag u left your own post

Nope I'm here, thinking of what you're telling me.

I really wish there were such events in my city. I've had some casual friends who had same interests like me, but eventually lost contact.

Rape everybody to death.

Do you have a comic book shop? If not in your town, in your county, the neighboring county, or somewhere close in your state? Have you checked crgslist? You can always try other interests, photo galleries, or start following indie comic creators, they do tours at book stores, malls, etc. What state are u in?

Not really from the U.S. I'm from Mexico. And a really good comic store is to the state next to my city. I may start going out more often.

There you go check that out. Most shops host events, or play games. Or check out art galleries and meet other artists, go see music you like (punk can be great therapy), see some comedy, or go to a book reafung... Whatever you like. Lll
Look up local events and start meeting ppl with common interests, or that are in or interested in the comic industry. Network, and get tips and advice for starting out. Start being proactive, that's pretty much putting in some effort.

No they don't trust me. They usually just make you feel worse specially at the start.