Autistic things you do that you think no one else does.
>Piss in the sink on toilets which are located in buildings you dislike
>Listen to german marching music and pretend that you're an SS soldier while walking outdoors
>Have a fetish for female teachers. Simply for being teacher (doesn't have to be sexy at all)
>Watch porn without fapping
> Pretend to be an SS soldier
Kek. Do you any friends at all?
Yes
they don't know
>Watch porn without fapping
Have done the German marching music thing before OP. I thought I was the only one!
i once finished fapping to some porn and after i finished i kept watching to see how the storyline played out...
Nybögar Nybögar överallt
Can you recommend good German marching music?
asl min neger?
31 man gbg här
I used to hear to the ride of the valkyries while playing a flight simulator
Squasha lite beef?
School shooter confirmed.
p12 confirmed. MODS! ut med honom
Jag är fan 15 abo
>watch porn without fapping
lol you have no friends
actual autismo here, prepare to cringe:
>be me
>be 23
>be socially awkward as fugg
>be working out in calisthenics park
>do human flag
>see hot girl (who later turned out to be a pole dancer) walk up to me
>"hey user, i took a picture of you, hanging like that", want me to send it to you? what's your facebook?"
>spill spaghetti all over the floor
>say: "i dont have facebook" (truly didnt)
>grill asks phone nr
>give to her, cuz why not
>she says: "i wont do anything with it or anything, just for the picture"
>retard me not realizing i could've gotten laid
enjoy
>Piss in the sink on toilets which are located in buildings you dislike
I don't do this exactly, but I do piss in sinks sometimes, just cause it amuses me to do so. Also they're way better than urinals.
the ss soldier part is so fucking relatable. it also reminds you to keep posture, and walk properly.
> insert coins under my foreskin
> walk around in malls n stuff
> they fall out then down my pants leg
> take hidden camera photos of people picking up my cock coins
> so far 78 people
> majority are kids, guessing adults don't care about a quarter
i used to play around with coins in my mouth when i was young.
I like them they have weight but are thin they make a good feeling when my foreskin retracts
>>played nes and snes roms on computer and listen metalica over the background music of the game.
lol they are dirty as fuck. wash your dick after.
Non autismo here, but I've had my moments
>16 years old
>girl from school comes to my house and asks to go for a walk
>err weird but alright?
>15 minutes in were are walking through a park
>she says 'i'm so horny'
>I saw 'oh really haha'
>she clearly wants the D
>she says 'I hate when you're at a party and you want to have sex but you don't have a condom, I sometimes do it anyway'
>I laugh
>we keep walking, nothing happens...
>never ended up fucking her because i couldn't tell she was interested LOL
I know how you feel user, i know...
Me lotsa times. But i only claim no facebook because i have trust issues.
>be me late fall early winter 2008
>went for a walk in the park. Wore my only coat which is a trenchcoat because cold as fuck.
>took my pipe because i used to smoke pipe because im a snob and refuse to smoke cigarettes.
>back of beyond at this park/ nature preserve, a wild bench/cobble stone wall thing appears along the path!
>sit on it and smoke and think about life and listen to the wind in the trees and generally space out to some peaceful quiet nature.
>girlbeast emerges from the path. Wesring big fluffy coat and thick warm yoga legging pant things thst are skin fucking tight. Has on one of those sweatband hair things and has hair in a ponytail.
>she sees me. I stay still as a statue. (Their sight is based on movement and i didnt want to be seen just left alone)
>she snaps a few pictures of me doesnt even say hello just fucking tskes my picture like some kind of soul collector.
>comes up and talks to me
"Hi im doing photography studyclass blah blah natureblah blah people in nature blah blah lookit me an gimme free stuff im cute and have tits and a pussy and if yoy gimme sfree stuff i might maybe possibly but not actually ever give you sex lol teehee blah blah"
>"uh huh. So what did you want exatly?"
>permission tonuse the pictutes of me. Shes probly gonna use them anyway and splice justin beibers fsce over mine because female dumb bich.
TBC
>>Have a fetish for female teachers. Simply for being teacher (doesn't have to be sexy at all)
this is me, but are you sure you know what "autism" means?
fake and gay you faggot.
Continued.
>"no. In fact delete them bow please before you go and i want to watch you delete them"
>she is taken aback by this. But she sidles up to ke snd leans herself back against me her perfect ass pressing into my crotch. Go away boner not now!
>she uses ignore. Shows me her pictures on her phone and starts deleting them as they slide one by one on to the screen. Then a picture of a vagina with some leaves comes on the screen
>then a picture of tits and the sky behind them as its raining with raindrops on the nipples perfectly.
>she is just scrolling thru her pictures now boner has acheived liftoff at the art she has made.
>wiggles ass againd muh dick
>"is that yer keys?"
>"uuh yeah one of them"
>"huh weird key almost feels like a... Omygod!"
>"well yer the one thst pressed yerself against me and started showing me your nudes what did you expect?"
>she blushes beet red.
>"ohmygod i have to suck yer dick now!"
>"well thats a wild leap in logic"
>"no seriously you have to fuck me now! Those are the rules right? If s girl shows a guybher nudes and he gets a boner they have to fuck?"
>"are you retarded or something? Fuck off!"
>i walk away she follows demanding to fuck or she could go to jail we both could.
>"what fucked up world do you live in? Go AWAY!"
>she folowed me to my car making demands along the way one of which was marriage. No idea what her deal was. Half way hone punching myself in the head cuz i coulda got laid. But i didnt want to stick my dick in crazy
>implying his dick is cleaner than the coins
AHAHAHA
Any time i get invited to something im too socially awkward to socialize. Infind something electronic of theirs that i can fix.
I go to parties and fix the computer, mod the xbox, repair phones etc.
I hate parties.
Even if i do get some liquid courage the females are never interested because all i tslk about is fixing shit and computers and gsme systems and other tech related nerd shit.
I can fix just about anything but i am too socially awkward to get a date.
>Half way hone punching myself in the head cuz i coulda got laid
No broh, you perfectly did the right thing!
ayyylmao you sound like a real HANDY man
Heh
Well they do call me "mr hands"
>at small party with friends
>everyone doing Molly
>go lay on bed in room by myself tripping for a bit
>girl comes in and lays on adjacent couch
>starts rubbing her cunt over her clothes
>licking her lips staring at me
>I just stand up and leave
Gave her a ride home later and got her phone number.
Never called her
Went to zombie bar crawl 2008 in ft worth texas.
Get zombied up by a makeup artist woman who was a friend of a friend.
Cutiepie chubby not that bad lookin heart of gold thing goin on. 2 kiddos at home and hubby organised it. Great gal all told.
But she is not the focus of this story.
Let me tell you about beckie.
Beckie was a cute tallish busty not skinny but not chubby brunette with a smile that could bring summer to volstok station.
And she had a heart of pure platinum.
We met during the bar crawl shebcsme up to me and asked why we were all zombies and why i was drinking dr pepper instead of beer.
I was a designsted sober guy to help keep ppl organised and together.
We chatted snd clicked snd she told me about where she worked etc.
Fuckin magic with this girl.
I ask for her number.
She happily gives it
I test it to mske sure its not animal controll or some shit.
(Had a couple of bitchqueens pull that crap on me after they chatted me up)
Normally i am so awkward its impossible for me to even look innthe direction of a cute girl even if i am checking the time and theres a clock over her head.
Not with beckie. Not with beckie.
The night waned snd the zombies had to move i offered to bring herbwith us but she refused snd msde me oromise to call.
Even got a goodbye kiss.
Night drags on its all over go home.
Check phone.
Phone dead. Wtf?
Thats ok its all saved in memory right? Right? Sure it is!
and as lex luthor once said:
WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONGAH!
Get home plug in phone its fucking wiped clean.
She has my nuber its all good.
She never calls.
Stop by her work.
Not there. Ask after her.
"Theres no beckie thst works here sir"
Couldnt stop myself already been corrupted by /b at this point: sperg out!
"THEN WHO WAS BAR!?"
Confused looks.
Confused museum patrons.
Confused security guy.
Confused me.
I fuck off