ITT: Work stories. Greentext preferred

ITT: Work stories. Greentext preferred

>Am on Sup Forums
>Don't have job
>mfw

>eating fries at job
>Amerifat

>at work
>shitty job
>dumb old hag keeps bothering me
>trying to boss me around
>finally stand up to her
>she flips out and threatens me
>tell supervisor
>dumb cunt gets fired next day
>nobody liked her, coworkers proud of me
>notasinglefuckwasgiventoday.jpg
that happened this week..
hows your week going so far?

>be me 19
>shitty minimum wage security job
>have to sit in broken shack and watch an empty building for 8 hours
>fuck thay shit.pdf
>use phone to look at porn
>midget clown porn gets me diamonds
>beating my dick like a 1950s housewife
>feels good man
>right when I'm about to nut company phone rings
>dick becomes a fucking canon and my jizz hits the fucking ceiling
>boss is on the phone they're at gate
>I'm fucking fired.zip
>stuff dick back in pants and go greet them
>mfw it's a random inspection
>show boss the shack
>pray to anything that would listen that boss didn't notice the jizz above their head
>"everything seems fine user, have a good night"
>boss leaves
>rest nod the night was quiet and boring

And that's how I almost got caught masturbating at work.

> See this thread
> Relate to you folk
> 25 white male and floating through life
> Useless degree, uneventful past military career
> Addicted to porn
> Have fucked 31 fat chicks on tinder the past year ( I keep a list)
> Steal dey panties
> Listening to Spooky Black, sniffing dat nasty panty,
>Think about all my heroes I had growing up
>Look at me now
>This is the pinnacle of my life
>Regularly debate suicide
>Work at a retail store full time
>I brought shame to my name
>Have read over 50 /lit/ books this year
> Realize you can glorify any path in life, all are just as important as they are meaningless
> Mother has been in mental institution since I was 6, but had a bomb ass dad whos my pal
> Where do I go?
>Whats next?
> I done crazy shit
> Past few months start smoking more weed, embrace the anxiety attacks
> Listen to myself in my most fearful and vulnerable state
> Learning more about myself like this
> Anytime I think I know who I am
>I can shatter that image, and tend to do that alot

> Wanting fast food right now
> Wanting a babe right now
> Wanting to be proud of myself
> Boutta smoke instead, spin into psycho thoughts, and drink alot of water bc I like doing that in general.

>be me
>16 at the time
>work at a game store
>notgamestop.gift
>cleaning a N64
>brushiebrushie.jpg
>in walks this older retarded chick
>"welcome to not game stop can I help you? "
>you got any movies
>show her where the damn movies are
>go back to cleaning that N64
>retarded chick walks over
>starts talking to me
>being a good employee I pretend to listen
>then it happens
>twas a sound that could rival Zeus's mighty thunderbolts
>sweet baby jesus
>then the smell hit me
>smelled like a garbage water enema
>90% sure she shit herself in my store
>she's laughing the whole goddamn time
>I try to escape by stalking some shelves
>she fuck in follows me
>for 20 god damn minutes she followed me around the store like a shit encrusted retarded puppy
>finally she leaves
>without buying shit
>walk up to my manager
>"sorry dude her mom was in earlier and asked if we could keep an eye on her"
>tfw I got shit on by a retarded girl for nothing
That's why I hate the public

>gets trips posting about shitty life
At least you have that user

>working night shift at a rehab
>help patients work hard at their recovery in the evening
>take them to a 12 step meeting
>go back to the facility
>lights out, patients in bed
>go smoke crack in my car

pretty much every night for me.

Thanks broseph,
Didn't even notice that as I have been extremely high and drinking water

I never really feel bad for myself, just feel like im watching myself being stuck as a lost wild man in a world of normies

Do you think your addicted to it? Never done crack

I definitely am. I got the job because I was a recovered addict. Relapsed pretty quick into working there.

No dude I feel you I'm 23 and I spend everyday hoping that some assholes tries to rob this store I work at in hopes that I catch a stray bullet

Does it worry you that you are? Or is it not really an issue?

I just wanna be wild. bang everything, do cartwheels, or sleep next to the window light like a cat. My desires are regularly inappropriate and lunatic so I feel repressed,like the best part of me is

>are you me?
I feel you man, like I just want to pack up everything and travel around with my dog, I wanna smoke shit tons of weed with a random butch from tinder, then engage in some hard core bdsm, I want to spend a whole day by the river softly playing the ukulele, I want romance, I want hard core primal sex, and I'm pretty sure I'd like to discuss the entirety of the universe with someone, I feel like my existence is a pain, but I also feel like dying at this point would be useless

>be me
>perform standing work piling boxes at a fast pace
>work 8 hours without breaks
>is this live?

>be me
>tech at Acura
>driving a car out of shop
>almost hit foreman who was driving an nsx
>he was doing at least 30 in the parking lot
>gets mad at me for almost hitting him
>mfw

>amerifat but not irl fat
>8/10 let you fuck me
>be me, 26

I fell you man, ex military in school living off gi bill.

Ya, that's life. I worked for 5 years in fast food through high school and a year after. They typically don't care too much about breaks, etc. I was head cook and worked 6 or 7 days a week, sometimes 13 hour shifts , (didn't help that everyone else was unreliable as fuck). Management never batted an eye when I got 30 hours of overtime a paycheck. Saved up enough money for 4 years of university though.

Just remember what the job is for (money), and balance that with what you value in life.

>be me 27 year old
>witnessed 2 suicides on my ship while in the navy.
>stopped 2
>out of military now dealing with ptsd from horrible command while in.
>back in school, having a difficult time.
> start to drink and smoke weed heavily
>feel like i haven't done anything with my life.
>just got a DUI
>doing fucking horrible.

>three years ago
>3 am
>in car parked on runway
>browsing Sup Forums
>watch porn

>be me
>working at farmers market in Edmonton
>be a meat vendor
>some old guy wearing a cowboy hat walks up to me and throws his meat on the counter
>go through the normal checkout routine, would you like a bag, etc.
>"your total is 19.22, will that be cash, credit, or debit?"
>he fucking looks dead in my eyes
> "canadian dollars, son."
> mfw

go into the jungle with a knife, a baggie of mescaline, and a satanic bible

How do you get PTSD from a shitty command you fuckwit?

>plastic money
>why even live in this country

it's aight. it's pretty much a microcosm of America, but free healthcare

but our leader is a dirty fucking liberal

>Be me
>17
>working at mcdoobles
>front counter and in walmart
>basically payed to sit and watch a bunch of fat people
>best minor job of my life despite stereotypes
>Everyday get to see these fat fucks roll by
>mfw half of them are dumb as fuck or ghetto as a crack pipe in a dirty thong
>November rolls by
>have to start asking people if they want to donate
>super annoyed at having to ask these landwhales because most of the time they pull dollars from their sweaty bra's/back pocket
>absolutelyhallal.png
>One day accidentally asked if the person wanted to donate to ronald mcdonald hairy house
>fuckingautism.bat
"Yeah sure I'll chip in a dollar."
>wat
>Realize that these walrus's don't even listen when they order
>Get brilliant idea
>begin making up charities and creating a 'quota'
>get 10 donations to fake charities in a day, reset if caught.
>Mfw I got people to donate to.
>templars
>KKK
>autism queefs
>ronald mcnonald hairy mouse
>bush did 9/11 foundation
>Adolfs birthday
>Victorian children's workhouse fund
>weiner beaner association
>continue for until charity ends
>never get in trouble because boss is awesome

If you ever want an easy and entertaining as hell job, front counter of mcdonalds in walmart is where to go.

I'm in Ontario, essentially America but cleaner.

as i said, Edmonton. It's not the worst, but by no means the best.

>be 19 year old me
>need a job bad
>housekeeper.jpg
>my boss steals my tips by "inspecting" each room before I get to it, and walks out with cash
>my co workers don't speak english except for one guy
>put up with shit pay and no tips for a month
>co worker that speaks english cool as fuck and buys me booze
>he quits because they treat us like shit
>I hang in there
>start sniffing panties of 11/10 qt's and milfs
>start wanking and cumming on the bed
>kek
>start pissing in the sink
>fuckyeah.jpg
>quit one day and boss flips the fuck out
>snitch to the GM that she's stealing tips
>he knows
>sadface.jpg

>be me work tech support
>am answering a call from a lady
>tells me that somehow her computer screen got mixed up with her phone screen
>phone is completely independent of her computer and has no video input whatsoever so it's not even possible
>trying to have her explain to me what the fuck is going on and how her screens got mixed up
>end up saying fuck it and just go there and see it in person
>i go there and take a look
>i see her phone is turned off
>i see her monitors are turned off
>i see they were both on the same power strip
>i see the switch on the power strip is switched off
>i switch it on and the monitors come online and the phone starts booting up
>this lady thought because the phone screen was black it was showing what was on the monitor which was also black but in reality they were literally just turned off

Edmonton is a shit town and everyone who lives there is either an alcoholic redneck douche who spent all his savings from his first year in the oil patch on a fucking pickup truck, or an overweight and dull government drone who drives a 12-year-old pontiac minivan.

What?!? You're supposed to tip housekeepers?

You can do all of those things though. Just stop wanting; let go of your desires and the world will reveal itself to you like the attention hungry whore it is. Hit rock bottom user, let it flow through you, and then let life build you the ladder you need to get out of the pit you've dug for yourself. It's hard brother, it gets harder every day. But the moment you rise above it, bliss is found in the apathy.

HAH look at this amerifat, u missed some chances to tip people u derp!! haha

well, gotta disagree with ya there, m8.

Canadian actually. Just amazed that people actually tip housekeepers.

>Be 17 at the time
>Work at local Chinese place
>I was a dishwasher
>Work with two other dishwashers
>One of them was a friend from school
>Fuck around for the most part as it was never really active
>Get an idea
>Gooks can't speak English
>For the next week we teach one of the cooks to say " Nigger "
>Keksimus Maximus
>Never got caught
>Quit like 4 months into job

Well you're obviously one of those two groups then.

yes, housekeepers work harder than waitstaff for less money and a hell of a lot less respect.

Having worked in both industries, housekeepers deserve tips. If you don't, you will probably sleep in cum stained sheets in a sink I pissed in. Your family's clothes would not be safe either. Your mother, daughter, sister.

Tip tip tip.

>sleep in cum stained sheets in a sink I pissed in
kek

Well it's good I never actually use housekeeping then. I just leave the do not disturb sign up all the time.

Anyway, people who do work that animals or robots can do don't deserve tips.

You're a good man.

I always keep the do not disturb signs up too and leave the room prepped when I leave. I also never use the sheets at hotels, I bring a sleeping bag.

I liked the job though, the pool was closed off, and sometimes I would watch the girls through the windows swimming, then find out what room they were staying so I could lick them panties.

Fuck I'm creepy when I'm bored.

That's why I like to have jobs with coworkers and teams, as it will deter me from being a creep.

>be me, cashier at shit restaurant in my late 30s
>stupid art degree got me nowhere in life
>can't even play my instrument in a wiskey bar
>only audience are my retarded neighbors
>Other than that, i have a shit pay
>boss is money-hungry asshole with fat whale of a daughter
>She sometimes comes to the restaurant to bitch about her life
>hours are terrible
>no benefits
>contemplating suicide daily
>Worst part is that im a squid
>Squidward

>be me
>work at auto body shop
>fix some college slut's car after getting rear ended
>she brings car back to shop complaining that her seat doesn't work now
>this would never happen from rear ending
>look under the seat to fix and find pic related

Kek

Lol who the fuck puts an air freshener under the seat.

lucky
ever cum on little girls' panties?

Got me there.

it was for the dildo

too easaaaayy lmao

never been hunting in my life, nobody in my family owns a pickup truck, wealthy family, in shape parents and siblings

Brother. If only we could meet. I live in Baton Rouge Louisiana. Id never think you wierd as long as you never would think I am.

Dat GI BIll stipend a nice monthly bonus tho, huh? I used to love the beginning of the month calling in to confirm enrollment to get the deposit

>be me
>19m
>working summer job as lifeguard
>everyone else is in hs, im home from college for the summer
>autists everywhere
>hate that fucking job
>on stand one day watching part of the lazy river
>some fat fuck floats over to be in a tube
>tries to get my attention
>terminatorlook.jpg
>"excuse me! what time is it?"
>tell him its ten til 4
>"did you say you've got tree fiddy?"
>look closer at guy in water
>strange long neck
>green scaley skin
>80 feet tall
>"goddamn lockness monster get out of my pool"
>blow whistle at him
>boss yells at me later for yelling at a patron
>mfw

anything was fair game all ages, I cannot confirm or deny that I did. But hypothetically if I did, I very hypothetically enjoyed it. Hypothetically speaking. The smell, the feel, the idea of how wrong it is.

>mfw
no pic

I like Edmonton. Bet on Oilers last night. Oops. Still it's a cool town.

10/10
had a good kek

>mfw someone uses mfw without posting a face

>work front desk of shitty cheap hotel
>have all sorts of strict and weird rules because of all the mayhem that went on in the past
>customer arrives to check in, pulls his car in front of the hotel
>start his check in
>doesn't have ID
>I actually have to inform him this isn't going to fly
>he gets upset, leaves
>hour later
>he comes back with a passport
>tell him he has to pay a remaining $9.81 in fees due at hotel, it's on his confirmation
>proceed to go Ayrshire, banging on counter screaming he won't check anything and that he paid and that he wants his key
>tell him to call his booking company if he has any questions
>starts to threaten me
>tell him he isn't getting a room at all and he can leave
>says he's going to kick my ass and starts walking around the counter
>my collapsible baton goes *rrrrtt* as I flick it
>he stops and taunts me from the other side of the desk daring me to step out
>stepping out I tell him all I want is to not cause him permanent damage over this stupidness
>tell him I don't care what happened to him that night, that I have shit I'd like to take out on someone too, and I could with him, but I'm not an asshole
>he says he'll even things up and goes to his car
>"aw shit this asshole has a gun"
>nope. He just got his 9 inch tire iron that came with his '97 corolla.
>I look at him and hold my baton in front of me in my palm, reminding him
>he screams at me, indiscernible but obviously threatening my life if he ever sees me in the street
>later get a call from his booking company about a refund
>"sorry, but the conditions of his reservation state that it is nonrefundable"
>decide to look him up
>he is a local wannabe Christian music artist and he's on YouTube
>salivate...

I'm still deciding what to do since this was days ago. Wannabe kid actor turned wannabe Christian singer who preaches. I might go to that church and give testimony on how god stayed my hand and I showed an unarmed man mercy while he was threatening me over $9.81

sorry forgot pic lol im retarded

name?

Fucking kek

If you live in America, it's actually a crime to not get breaks over like four hours. You could easily win a ton of money in a lawsuit.

was expecting you to go over there and fuck her brains out

I dunno....I don't think I hate the guy THAT much.

I mean, he didn't even stay so he isn't technically a customer, but still.

nice dubs

lol, never bet that the oilers will win anything ever.

I think it should be known that someone is trying to use the christian music market to solely make money.

I get that it happens all the time, but it is very rare to actually be able to expose someone. If your story is real, this is your chance to do just a small note of good in an increasingly not-so-good world. Providing his name should not be seen as giving him to the devils of Sup Forums and Sup Forumsananas, but rather saying that this man is a lier and willing to step on others in order to better his lot in life.

This is your chance, user, to take this one back from a cold world, constantly sucking away at any chance of happiness or success you'll ever have.

What's his name?

No it's not. Unless you're a minor, under there are no federally mandated hours in between breaks. A company could literally work you 24/7 and it would be legal. No one would work there, but they'd be within the law.

Ahh yes, the old shitposts

It actually goes by state. So there is no federal punishment, but every state has laws about it. So you can still sue them.

>be me
>69
>work IT
Mfw I copied a normie meme

You just want a target.

Listen, I'm not religious but I did get pretty pissed seeing him preach peace on YouTube and ask people to hug the person next to them when he was making that gesture where you pull an imaginary trigger on a gun while he said he'd kill me next time he saw me.

It's real, happened last Monday.

Mfw your an extreem fag

C'mon user, it'll be fun. We'll expose this asshole for who he is, and we'll enjoy ourselves while doing it.

>Work at shoe store
>We do custom printing on shoes and shit
>See a girl and her friend pick up some customized shoes
>Ask if I can see them
>They're all flowery and shit when i see in the corner by the heel
>'Animu' in cursive
>"yeah... it's an internet thing."
Also fuck tourists

I gotta give it up for trips.

You get almost nothing. Only a name, and I'm only giving it out not because I don't think you'll find him but that I have doubts about you being able to do anything past that point. Jafet Ortega. Tell me when you think you have him, I'll confirm at least.

the tiny penis of this one is speaking to me

Thank you, user. Something or nothing may come of this, it depends on how I'm feeling.