Anti can we get a super power thread?

Anti can we get a super power thread?

Anons post a super-power they'd like to have, and others add a downside.

Example.

>The ability to walk through walls.
>you actually walk through them, causing massive damage to the wall

To open up, I'd chose flying.

the power to end my suffering
>no downsides

The ability time travel but only at the normal speed of time.

You can't die

>you don't fly like superman, but rather must flap your arms as hard as you can.

>your anus leaks heavily every time you're in the presence of a woman

Slightly stronger than the average man

>you move 2% slower than everyone else

>the power to end my suffering

>the average man is now 78 years old

You get just that, in exchange for a suffering for greater or equal value with another anons.

I don't want to shoot porn images right out of my hands like shitting explosive diarrhea from my palms.

Lazer vision, but only while sneezing.

>every time your suffering ends, something new arrives to bring it back

I have to add, you just granted me immortality but I have the power to end myself any time I choose.

>no downsides

>you don't have a nose

You can only pass it on to your loved ones

>it's opposite day

The suffering is my existence

>Your nose disappears. You now look like Voldemort.

>Become invisible and visible on command.

Oh that's a good one.

Kudos d00d

don't? I mean do!*

>can only do it when no one is around

Fair play.

>it's always illegal materials, leading to your eventual arrest

Blind when invisible.

At least I have something to exchange with the prisoners. Not so bad. And solitary confinement needs to be something violent in nature or a matter of national security, so I'm solid.

The power to cause 5 minute long super intense crippling orgasms in everyone arround me in a 100 meter spherical radius.

Targets children too. You get arrested and put in permanent isolation on a tiny island with nobody around but cameras.

At any time someone can summon you back from the void of non existance using a meeseeks box type thing.

The ability to spawn humans into a giant maze of deathtraps and broadcast it live on T.V. on every station. Like that one Ratchet and Clank game.

>games don't make people violent

Super speed that doesn't negatively impact my physiology

The final boss for everyone you spawn in there is you.

Sounds fancy, I'm okay with this as long as I retain my powers

The orgasms kill people you are sexually attracted to.

The (controlled) power to get someone to like/fall in love with me.

You cause massive collateral damage from sonic booms every time you use it. Also it destroys all your clothing every time you use it

The power to give people orgasms by staring hard at them.

genius intellect far beyond that of regular human
Downside is lacking ability to move

They also fall in love with people you hate the most.

>implying he's sexually attracted to living things

I can live with that

>Become invisible and visible on command.
It's not your command

To take a shit without having to wipe

If he's sexually attracted to a fictional character they get erased from the internet

You are blind and have no idea why people are moaning and screaming all the time.

Be crosseyed

Your ass bleeds after you shit requiring you to wipe the blood instead of your shit

Every shit you have takes 2 hours to pass and is extremely painful

You are permanently permeated by shitstink.

the ability to spawn any chemical/chemical compound known to man, including synthetic drugs and gold

I'd like to eat spicy food without taking massive shits afterwards. That'd be super.

When I play hockey, any shot I take scores a goal

You fully comprehend the true nature of the universe and, in an attempt to free yourself from your newfound eternal mental pain, you an hero all over yourself.

I've never had a problem with this.

In the wrong net

For you.

The ability to have Chris Chan shit and cum all over you, on command.

The power to set up savepoints in my life that I can start up again if I die or fuck up something.

You can only spawn things if you turn a person into that item. The item is in their exact form and it is excruciatingly painful for them and takes 5 hours to complete the process and you have to be in contact with them the entire time.

but the food is tasteless

When you're not playing hockey, any shot you take score a hole right in your liver.

They spawn in your stomach and you have to shit them out

You're now a Mexican.

the downside is it's chris chan

The power to shoot guac out of my hands with the pressure of a firehose

Check out the story "Suicide Engine".

That is your curse.

>>The ability to walk through walls.
>>you actually walk through them, causing massive damage to the wall


So you are Juggernaut then? Faggot.

You have to murder someone to set up a save point.

FUCKING KEK

You can only use it when verbally given permission from someone who is clinically brain dead.

Your create way too much stuff, so your shenanigans devalue the substances to the point where the world's economy collapses. Congratulations, you caused the fall of society.

Ooooh thats a damn good one. Top marks user!

Each ounce costs you $1

you become ¡yeb! and suffer an embarrassing defeat in the run for president

Sounds like my life.

Nice lmao

A "Get out of anything I damn well please." card that even works on whatever the downside is nomatter what and of sentence period. exclamation point. hashtag fuck you

>win

the power to physically transform into any solid liquid or gas

Well hey, at least I'd be a serial killer with a purpose

damn. Solid choices

you're really stinky tho

the ability to perform mundane tasks an average person can perform.

The ability to command any woman at any time to stop anything they are doing and have sex with me and not be charged with any crime or offend anyone.

You can never transform back to normal

...

You evil fuck.

you will always be average at everything you do

Any time you don't spend doing the mundane tasks is excruciating pain and suffering

Yeah. I can see that. Hell you could only use it to go full dexter on all the criminals.

Lmao.

but you can never reach climax

but you only receive sex in the form of unenthusiastic handys

each one give you a new and every more debilitating STD. The "Women" are also all MtF

Your solid form is completely unable to move.

Your liquid form will kill you if it separates into two parts.

Your gas form is autistic as cubed cheese.

if that woman is in a relationship the dude beats the shit out of you after you have sex with her and he also cant be charged with any crime associated

Got heeem!

there are some i would like to have but not at the same time:

Telekinesis by contact: the power of moving objects with my mind while it's in contact with another object that is in contact with me

Void generation: repelling matter and energy at will around me or from a specific place

energy manipulation.

then there is this power to create temporary structures and machines with my mind that can only be seen by me or people with a similar power. Like a green lantern but without needing the ring, also it will seem like normal telekinesis to the common folk.

Power to make girls diarrhea uncontrollably when cumming

The ability to alter the size and shape of my dick any time i want and still be able to return it to exactly how it was before i altered it

My special power is everyone just assumes I'm allowed to be doing whatever I'm doing.

Breaking into places, taking shit that's not mine, grabbing pussy in the locker room... The female locker room...