I want to kill myself

I want to kill myself.
I always wanted, since I came to this place more than 15 yeard ago.
The urge to kill myself only grew stronger 8 years ago and is now at its peak.
The only reason why I havent killed myself is my mother. She loves me, she lost her homeland for me, my father was always highly suicidal and 10 years after losing contact, he turned into a bum and died somehow, nobody told me. I dont want her to suffer and Im not able to do anythi but I want to end my life, I ask higher entities to kill me, so my mother has not to suffer for it as a natural cause isnt something you can blame yourself for but a sucide is. My question is, how do I kill myself so it looks like a natural cause?
Thank you

talk with her about it

can't explain why

but i feel you should stay by her side

>more than 15 years ago
>fake and gay

She is very emotional and sentimental, she will understand but her life will get worse and she doesnt deserve it since her life always been very difficult.

Dubs dont lie and I can feel the same but Im selfish. Im yound and Im selfish and Im done. There must be a way to end it all without her blaming herself for it since she is a wonderful person who doesnt deserve any of this.

Watch Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Krishnamurti on youtube. All very effective ways of dieing to the false mind made self.

In order to make this look like a natural death what you want to do is get some gold cleaner from any nearby hardware store. slip some into your glass about 1/4th of a cup will do. Down it and ditch the glass wherever. you will fall asleep in about 45 seconds and then after 65 your heart will stop. Bonus points if you do it on stream. Feggit

>gold cleaner

Very high survive rate and vomit +post attempt brain damage are all a no go. Clean and nice, cant be too much to ask.

Nice trips and while I aggree that literature/film/music are often very helpful, as I already said, Im done.

That's why you don't overdose on poison retard. Don't pull a Napoleon.

Also whats a little brain dablage between friends?

Don't make her feel miserable. Kill her without pain an then kil yourself.

Clean, evidence less death is all I want.

Umm, worst advice ever

starve yourself

site your sources

dont do it nigger, I tried to it with pills, what I saw on the other side scared me so much I wont even joke about it.

Dont you think, there is much out there worth to live before suicide?

Symbolically kill yourself, and then start over dedicated to others.

Spiritual rebirth you could call it. It works. I worked and lived solely volunteering at a children's hospital for a decade. Healed my soul and now I am good.

Get the focus off you, and you'll be free.

does it seem to you like he's doing okay

dat trips

fagg

how do you afford to keep yourself alive if you're only voluterring

otherwise i'd do it too, right fucking now, today
please convince me so I can gtfo of my miserable ass life

absolute bullshit you cannot sustain

you live in your parents basement and makeup literal bullshit

I talked to her she blames weed and not the fact that she was a shitty mother, nor that my genitics are shit nor that im incompetent.

New thread question. How do I kill myself without suffering. At least I want my last breath to be soemthing I can even enjoy. Suggestions please.