This is how I start/end every fucking day

This is how I start/end every fucking day.

I'm lost, Sup Forums, I don't know how to live.

Why am I so fucked up

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What are they?
Medication for recreational purposes or because you're screwy in the head like me?

I love recreational drug use so much.

But supposedly I need this prozac, ritalin, xanax and atarax to function

what you on?

start my day at 4 pm ends at around 6 am, used to be on anti-depressor but don't take them anymore. it's been like that for a few months. you're not alone in the shithole Sup Forumsro
also NEET.

I just quit all my meds cold turkey like 2 weeks ago.
Not felt this good in a long time... best decision I ever made.

Fuck man I hear that. I've been told by my docs to give prozac a go for years, but I only gave in 3 weeks ago, so still adjusting. I know I got some serious fucking issues and willing to try anything at the moment

Congrats though bro *cheers*

>he only takes 4 pills
please, im on 7

if i do this my brain legit short-circuits and its the most horrible experience ive tried

that gif is more relaxing then i thought a gif was capable of

Op here, this is what im worried of, is dependence inevitable?

I take celexa and visteril. I'm trying to get a script for benzos. I have agoraphobia and Xanax is the only thing that will get me out the door, but my doctor does a puss poor job and doesn't believe anything I say. Its like to him I'm just another name on a piece of paper. How long have you been on your meds user?

you're literally bragging about being more addicted to big pharma's unnecessary bullshit. fun fact, all other first world countries other then america have banned advertising pharmaceuticals,

depends on a lot of things really, i was warned that i eventually would need to slowly step it down for over a year if i were to quit them else id risk fucking myself even more.
but tbh the drugs are the only reason i can do anything at all

>implying im american

thats the thing man, they want to deal with yout shit and get you out their office, specially here in the uk with nhs they on government salary. ive been on my prozac for 3 weeks now, been on ritalin since I was 13 but used to, and somtime still do abuse it.

I hate being sober and left with my thoughts so i'll do anything to escape myself

im my worst enemy

fuck you all sounds like bitches needing meds
we never had meds back in the war, we had whiskey and a tommy gun to kill the gerries
now fuck off and grow up you fuckin sissies
whats the world come to :-(

fucken niggers and jews doe amirite?

just the jews, i didnt die for any jew

>please, im on 7

Yeah me too. I nice mix of lamictal, lexapro, and abilify.

you just taking whatever you can get your hands on?

shh grampa go complain to your local preacher. the world changes.

>needing help with broken bones
>what has the world come to :-(

My partner does exactly this. She has bp2 with rapid cycling. I'm curious to know, are those hours your natural body rhythm? If you were to try and sleep at night would you be unable to regardless of how tired you are? All the psyches keep lecturing us about the importance of discipline and exercise but no matter how much energy she expends she can't get to sleep. Just ends up tossing and turning and crashes at around 8am.

Used to be like that, no longer. I'm so fucked up, persistent low mood for over a year, few an hero attempts, I'm really out of options and willing to try anything

Ooh that's rough. At least in the states you can go to a private practice where the doctor will want to get to know you and genuinely care for you. Ritalin is fun to abuse from time to time, there are so many papers out there that talk about methamphetamine and Ritalin as one in the same. Good luck on the Prozac I hope it works for you but I hear it makes bipolar people suicidal so be careful.

I hate being sober too, some people can handle it but I can't that's how I know I have a mental illness. No sober person thinks about suicide on the regular or is upset just being themselves

Being on those drugs has only caused your more harm than good.

Quit those drugs, start exercising, eating healthy, practice meditation, smoke weed, do some psychedelics, and find things that GENUINELY interest you, and stick with them.

All of the drugs you listed are supposed to help depression/anxiety, and both of those are a problem simply because our current system tells people to be focused on money over their own happiness, and to put on a fake guise, rather than be introspective and be your true self.

I used to be depressed as fuck, and still have some anxiety issues (Used to get panic attacks from frustration or bullying as a kid). Also have had some serious head injuries which contributed to that, but I can honestly say that doing what I listed above has worked wonders for my mental health. I was also lucky enough to have parents that didn't put me on meds, and I think the tendency to prescribe pharms to kids at a young age causes serious problems with mental health.

do you think big pharma is only an american concept or entity...? my point is that in the country that consumes the most pills by a shitload, they advertise them. giving kids amphetamines left and right is insane practice

you wouldn't have lasted two minutes in the trenches
you have have shat your long johns and cried for your mother

op here, so are you sober now? What's your vice

I'm mostly hooked on weed and now prozac me thinks

Sorry for hijacking i'm a gurrl and also suffer from insomnia.

Same here. I spend nights playings bns and go to bed when my hubby wakes up. What do?

I appreciate your kind words and legit solid advice, but it's nothing I haven't heard before. I'm too stubborn, self-obsessed and needy

>implying that he would

oh absolutely, i dont endorse that kind of stuff, nor understand why they are allowed to do that. it should be a professional that prescribes what is needed, not the patient asking for X brand because of some idea they have or ad they saw during superbowl

>implying
id go to war and kill jihadis if i had to, but thats a story for another time.
also nah trenches arent my thing, too wet and cold

that's not at all the only method for big pharma, another is just loose prescription writing due to kickbacks offered by the companies providing the drugs they are prescribing. whether or not you realize it, it happens, and it's disgusting

Sorry, I've been trying to find the solution myself. Only solution so far is to take about 50mg of Seroquel before the time you aim to sleep. Different people have different tolerances but 50mg makes the missus crash pretty solid. Only problem is Seroquel is a tranquilizer and she'll end up sleeping for 14 hours then have a hangover to deal with. Living a productive life is hard.

How do you expect to change yourself if that's the mindset that you have? Have you ever tried doing those things for a long peorid of time (3+ months) and seeing if they improve your life?

>I'm too stubborn, self-obsessed and needy
By thinking that way, you will be like that. Believe me though, the journey is long, Took me almost 5 years to get to where I am now.

Just remember that there is no true instant fix, and the anxiety will never go away, it only becomes less and less, and goes more quickly instead of being over taking. You have to learn to channel that anxiety positively, and to be able to address what is causing that anxiety.

Only you can help yourself friend, you will not get over this if you don't try.

girl with rapic cycling bp2 here.
in my experience my day-night cycle changes like once every 2 weeks. imo its not how much physical energy you spend. its, in my case, the brain that is in overdrive.

true, its why im glad the docs here, afaik, cannot make deals with their drug providers. any sort of bias or undisclosed stuff like that is fucked

Yeah I'm sober. If you're doing alright with weed and prozac rhen stick with it, its working for you and its better for you than drinking or doing hard drugs. Just keep talking to a therapist and it will get better. My main vice right now is Skyrim and Diablo 3 for my xbox1. Its a pretty lame vice but it keeps my head clean while I detox from all the alcohol I used to drink. I can only afford to play vidya because I'm on disability while my therapist and I figure out what's best for me.

Most of your sleep issues probably come from looking at your phone/computer/electronic device too close to sleeping. Weed helps, but also having a pre-bed routine that involves putting your phone away, and doing something for 15-20 minutes has helped me a lot. I used to watch YouTube videos before trying to sleep, but now I set my phone to charge, do my physical therapy stretches, and meditate for 10 minutes either sitting or lying down. Haven't had too many sleep issues since.

yea weed helps me a fair bit too, too bad i cant do it that often due to blood work.
idk ive tried meditation a few times but i cant seem to stop thoughts from popping up at all. some times ill just lay in the bed for 4 or 5 hours trying to empty my mind

Thank you for the suggestions. I haven't heard of physical therapy stretches but I'll definitely look them up. The pre-bed routine used to be followed strictly but they've started slipping since they didn't seem to work. I'm guessing just staying off the electronics alone isn't enough.

Try it while your high at first, and instead of trying to focus on a point, try to think about what is causing you anxiety.

The way I figured it out was to focus as hard as I possibly could on a point between my eyes, and repeating a 2 word mantra in my head to meter my breathing to.

Definitely made it much easier to clear my head after taking psychedelics.

A couple LSD trips till you get used to the feeling of inward looking, and then a 30mg dose of 4aco-dmt, and meditate when you peek.

The meditation part is what helps the most. The physical therapy part is because I have scoliosis lol, if I don't do them twice a day I have severe constant back pain. But doing yoga poses would be a good substitute for that.

I'm on Zoloft, Concerta, Gabapentin, a BP pill and a high amount of Klonopin. I haven't slept more than 90 consecutive minutes in months. Ambien didn't work.
I'm losing it.
Long story short: at your lowest, their is always somewhere lower. I feel like I'm in the world's basement. It's so dark and so cold, I'm afraid I'll never see light again.

Hang in there OP.

That'll change. I've tried this method. The mania and euphoria goes away.

it doesnt hurt to give it a few more tries, ill have to see when i have to have another blood test done first though.

>be me
>xanax script, 2mgs a day. Only take 1mg. .5 to get to sleep, .5 to wake up
>rest get banked
>have a shitload, don't like taking during the day because they make me too bored, too flat
>smoke green instead
>everything working as intended
>life is kk
>benzos dangerous mayne

OP here,


remember the lower it gets, thats just more chance of shit getting better

Op here,

I swear weed is more effective then any perscrip anti-anxiety/anti-depressant I've ever done

Amen brother. But after 12 years in a downward spiral, you tend to set up camp at rock bottom.

>ambien

Yeah that shit is terrible for sleep imo, especially if you legit have a sleep disorder. Made the mistake of running out of xanax one night, took an ambien like I normally would, tripped balls all night. I've since quit the ambien all together. All it does (supposedly) is increase the amount of REM sleep you get. But if you cannot fall asleep then you are burnt. It does fuck all for getting you to sleep. Best thing for sleep?
>xanax
>heroin

I would've liked to have tripped!
10 MG did nothing every time I took it.

Ritalin isn't the same as methamphetamine and not really close.

It's adderall that's like meth. Adderall is amphetamine salts. The meth in methamphetamine just means there's an extra carbon hanging off the 6-carbon ring that both drugs share.

I know rock bottom like the back of my own fucking hand

But you know what mate, I'm so unsure of myself Idk if I'm depressed because I'm just making myself, or if I really am. If that makes any sense. Idk what's my fault and whats not

Yeh, Benzos are not something you want to be on long term. They force you to be anxious.

Weed breaks the wall between subconscious and conscious, and allows your conscious mind to process your anxieties without you being aware of it. It doesn't force you to be unanxious like benzos do.

/agree

I have legit reasons for the script, mostly to help me get to sleep. Not so much for anxiety or panic but I will take them for that if it comes up. Xanax originally was designed for sleep.

But as mentioned when on the shit I cannot feel anything.
>not happy
>not sad
>not interested
>don't care about anything
>fuck I cannot feel anything am I even alive anymore
I guess is why it's so great for panic/anxiety as well, because it makes you not give a fuck. About anything. To the point of suicidal boredom. That's where the green comes in. it fixes the boredom, puts a smile on my face, and makes me less of an asshole. My family has all noticed and commented on it too, I am much more pleasant to be around when I am stoned. Kinda sucks, but this is my life now since getting injured.

I think a lot of us feel that way. I was a daily drinker for years, and addicted to various drugs for years at a time.
But I never started feeling "down" until I sobered up and started taking psyche meds.

op here (do i even need to say that anymore? im still used to 3 years ago Sup Forums)

I've done meth, and honestly I'd take methylphenidate (ritalin) or adderal over meth any day

I ended up giving my last full bottle to my buddy, he said he would snort them and trip balls. Idk, not my thing anymore. I've tripped plenty in the past but I'm older now, and with all the shit going on with me it just isn't my bag.

marijuana makes me worry less about my problems, and focus more on the happiness and well being of those around me. It just makes me nicer. It gets me interested in things. Like vidya, hanging out with friends/family. All my doctors have said
>"smoke green instead of taking xanax if you can"

Which is what I do, my life is much improved.

I'd really like Xanax (I'm the one who hasn't slept more than 90 minutes at a time for months) but my insurance won't cover it, and due to a past history of drug abuse, the doctor won't prescribe it.
Ah.
Sleep.
I've started sleep walking, into increasingly dangerous situations. Any one experience this?

I'm at the point where I don't know if drugs and therapy can even help. I'm a 32 year old touches kissless virgin, there are so many moments I will never have, I'll never get the life I wanted and while I could blame all sorts of things really I can only blame myself.

I used to do weed, usually strictly recreationally but occasionally if I was down. I did that a few weeks ago and it completely broke me. If I get high now all I think about it my personal failings, all the things about me that will never change, and the problems that even attempting to change them will cause.

I partly want to go to a doctor, maybe get a drug but in reality just talk about all this shit in my head with someone who won't use it as a mean to make me feel even worse about myself, and I partly want to get so high that I finally go ahead and kill myself.

Whores.
Whores are the solution.

You got a lot of allergies mate?

I'm sorry, at least you don't have real drug problems :)

Xanax always gives me a really shitty "clinical" feeling unless I combine with oxy/opana
Can't stand it

None of those pills are xanax

Trust me if you saw me you would know thats not true, I couldent even get the crackiest of whores.

Go to NA faget. Clean of opiates for 5 years this March.

Higher power bs

>but my insurance won't cover it, and due to a past history of drug abuse, the doctor won't prescribe it

Alprazolam/xanax is actually super cheap. I think my bottle of 120each .5mgs without insurance is only like 40 bucks. That is a month's supply. Basically free with insurance, just a few bucks anyway. The active ingredient is super duper inexpensive. The doctor thing though, yeah that is a real thing nowadays. Doctors are VERY apprehensive about prescribing it anymore, cause it is so addictive. Similar situation to painkillers. Doctors are just afraid to prescribe it anymore unless your shit is fucked up.

My sleep mechanism was damaged, (post medial temporal lobe), so I no longer have a normal sleep pattern. Most of the time I just wake up randomly, at weird ass hours. Also difficulty getting to sleep sometimes. For the most part I cannot sleep longer than 6 hours at a time. I'll be on a thing where I am waking up at 3am every morning, then it will all the sudden swing wildly, almost to the point where I am sleeping in shifts.
>awake for 6 hours
>sleep for 3 hours
>awake for 6 hours
>sleep for 6 hours

Then it swing crazily. It sucks, is totally out of my control and I cannot manipulate it simply by staying up later, or going to bed earlier. The unpredictable pattern is just super disruptive. My instructions from my doctor is this:
>if you wake up and you're awake, just get up. Do you thing, your routine. Don't fight it, you'll just drive yourself nuts tossing and turning in bed

So that's what I do. My sleep/wake cycle is completely random and changes weekly/daily/nightly, and I have zero control over it. But it's not all bad. Being awake at night is nice sometimes cause everyone else is crashed you know. But sometimes it does get kind of lonely. Other than that idgaf. I don't really care what the pattern is doing, as long as I am GETTING sleep. Which I always do, it's just that the hours/schedule of the sleep/wake cycle is constantly shifting.

Lmao ya everyone needs pharmaceuticals according 2 doctors. Good luck with that. The doctor is loving all the monies he gets from your bs

Jew drugs! Chemical lobotomy, enter the lottery for cancer and suicide!

sort of agree. xanax on it's own has zero recreational value to me. To be honest I avoid taking it at all during the day if I can.

With a little green though, or a bit of opiate then yeah, it isn't bad.

no one likes a quitter.

ITT: drug addicts

go fuck yourself cunt