>be in awesome relationship except for one problem >bf has phimosis and won't do anything about it >literally >8months since we had sex >live together n shit >at the point now where i just hate myself so much bc i'm so very narcissistic that i feel like it's about me >but seriously i'm hideously ugly and unattractive and undesirable to the point that my bf who i live with won't even touch me.
>Be not too attractive guy >Day of Facebook comes around >Start looking up people I knew in elementary and high school. >I find profiles that appear to be the person's full name. But a lot of the profiles don't have a pic. >Add them anyway >Friend request sits there for months, years... >Look them up again and again. Can never find the girls I was very close to. Not even the girls who I was just friends with. >Eventually make a trolling facebook to do other shit with. >Decide to look those people up on the trolling Facebook. >EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM SUDDENLY SHOW UP. >It turns out each one of them had blocked me before even adding me. They blocked me without even talking to me. That's how much they disliked me. Even the girls I was buddies with and I got friendzoned with. >Slowly start to despise Facebook after that. >Every girl I've dated has not even had me on her Facebook friend's list.
Charles Diaz
When I say no sex I mean literally no anything. :(
:( shit tonne of make up and shit to pretend that I'm not rancid looking haha
Hudson Parker
you are hot and i would love to impregnate you :D
Jaxon Baker
Post tits.
Dominic Powell
stop caring man.
Grayson Adams
Post timestamp with naked ass bent over. I need to know if you've been giving your bf the phimosis.
Alexander Collins
Step 1; drop the weeb get up step 2; kill yourself step 3;
Michael Miller
>be me >happily married for 6 years >2 awesome kids >amazing wife, 10/10 >start drinking a bit too much at work >becomes a more than a habit >wife and i fight all the time about it >one time i hit her, worst thing ever >spent the whole night crying in the cellar, woke up early and cooked her a huge breakfast, pretty much begged for her forgiveness >she threatens to leave me and take the kids if i don't stop drinking >agree >stay sober for like 2 weeks >start drinking again >one time wife calls me after work and says she's working late and needs me to pick up the kids from childcare ohshit.jpg >been drinking since like 8am. didn't go to work that day >drive out to pick up kids off my dick
you can probably see where this is going
i drove off the side of the road with my 2 kids in the back. my beautiful baby girl died instantly. my son has brain damage and will probably never be able to go to a normal school
everything is over Sup Forums going to end it soon already have the rope
Oliver Sanchez
fuck you sound pathetic
Grayson Baker
You should definitely kill your self.
Ryan Robinson
It's all good, man.
Evolution favors the stronger person.
All your reproductive equipment is still in tact.
Stay alive long enough to either fuck your wife again and get more kids, or find a new one and get more kids that way.
Mankind needs you to stay alive and reproduce.
Luke Richardson
no. not relevant anyway. only feels Sup Forumsros
working hard on step 2 dw
Connor Turner
bullshit
tits or gtfo
Colton Carter
your eyes are lovely
Jack Phillips
that's so shit man :( well, it says more about them than it does about you i suppose
unless you're like full autist bugging them and stalking creepily and shit ... you did make a fake account.....
Gabriel Robinson
yeah not bad cute face,who know probley has low T or hes just lonely and just needs someone around who knows just asking and be transparent
Elijah Long
sex is an important part of the relationship, but so is communicating, tell him how you feel without any yelling or emotions getting out of control and fix his dick, for both your sakes.
Jacob Collins
I made the fake account for Sup Forums purposes, back in the day.
John Thomas
That pic hit me hard, for some reason.
I was wearing that exact same jacket today and was thinking roughly the same thought on my way home from work.
Fuck...
Adrian Parker
check your dumb ass into rehab jesus fuck
Aaron Cruz
>>drive out to pick up kids off my dick maybe you should use a different phrase when talking about children.
Julian Flores
its a slippy slope m8.should of prioritized.
Dylan James
that pic isn't op (me) lol but yeah he does have a low sex drive. nothing to spark it obvs. shit feels
Colton Young
oh then you might just be ugly then i though that was you,well yeah you need to be real and say i want to get fucked and if he acts like a bitch about it tell him he should just be asexual or something and move on,dose your life really revolve around one person if it dose then that's sad
David Ward
you say that as though it hasnt been the case already. i'm medical. i know how to approach issues sensitively. it's just that once it gets that bad... it eats away at me inside. i try to bring it up and he just dismisses it i know it's hard for him. it's difficult and scary and involves admitting that there's something "wrong" with his dick. doesn't make it any less shit. it's not really about sex itself. it's about what sex represents. the intimacy, the fact that you share something beautiful with someone. just sucks lel
Robert Reyes
glad it touched you man. one of my faves hope you're doing ok
Kayden Green
still id be finger banging mf GF if i had low T,
Landon Kelly
If this is real you should either kill yourself or find something good to do with your life that will probably result in death
Go fight Isis Offer yourself as a living medical test subject Get your body clean and free of poisons, write a suicide note saying you'd like your organs donated to kids, blow your brains out in a hospital lobby with the note tapes to your chest
Adrian Parker
yep. i'm the second one that no one commented on haha. it's g though didn't post for that anyway, just people asked me we've discussed sexuality before. specifically asexuality. he says he isn't, that there's just a lot aof anxiety and stuff going on. i want to be there, i want to help him and see it through with him but it's killing me.
Joseph Morgan
seriously i would die to be as sexually active as a 15 yo virgin rn
Carter Gomez
still communicate how you feel, say you feel neglected, if you give him attention when he wants it then you are entitled to attention too, dont assume he knows how you feel either, explain everything in as much detail as possible.
guys are a bit thick headed, I know I've been guilty of being a dumbfuck myself.
Jackson Adams
>find litter of kittens in my shed out back of house >all of them dead and starved accept for one >mother abandoned them for awhile >not even a cat person but took pity on him >researched and fed the little fella from a ear dropper nearly 5 times a day for 3 weeks >he slept under my chin everyday, all night. >soon he was up and running, he was charming and had a certain wit >could point to things he wanted, could open cabinets doors and such >grew to love him, I had been a lonely stoner type of guy for awhile, living on my own >he would always sleep on my chest like he was that little kitten, despite the fact that he was a 10 pound fat ass >he would always sit and purr when i would smoke my bong and try to write songs with my shitty little acoustic guitar >we actually went through quite a lot together, for a long time, it was just me and him >years go by, i get married >Lyric(thats his name) shows her the same love as me >have a baby girl, Lyric was always so gentle with her even when she pulled his whiskers and tail >2 weeks shy of his 8th birthday I find him dead on my front porch >someone had shot him in the head with a .22 rifle and on his little red leather collar was a note "keep you fucking animals in your yard asshole" >basically fell to my knees, cried so hard that no noise came out >went into panic attack and passed out >grieved for weeks about him >who could just shoot someone's best friend without any moral gumption about who might care about someones pet >the rage has haunted me for about a year about this >still haven't found the fuck who did this to us I buried you under that big camile bush you loved to lay out under on a cool summer day Sometimes, I wake up in the night and think I can still here you meowing. tears fall as i write this, I will always love you man, and ill never forget you Lyric.
Matthew Brown
Had a shot with two seriously cute woman recently. One turned out to be involved with someone already and the other went from chatting and laughing with me to seemingly forgetting I exist.
Could be better, but could be worse. Been a rough few months.
Elijah Green
crying reading this man my cat is like fucking sunshine i can't imagine how you must feel
what an absolute scumbag piece of human garbage. can't imagine what creature would do that :(
can we see a picture of lyric? he sounds like he was wonderful
Anthony Gutierrez
Man, the feels...
Isaiah Davis
I feel ya Sup Forumsro
Dylan Barnes
I had a dream (I think) that my mom scolded me for being attracted to her.
What does it mean
Samuel Phillips
My pets have been my only true friends my entire life, I've spent more time crying over their deaths than ex girlfriends/getting evicted/having no life. I feel you Sup Forumsro.
Blake Baker
It means you subconsciously like cigars.
Chase Lewis
Here he is, my majestic lil bro.
God I knew that i should have made him an inside cat, but i didnt want to deny him that wild spirit he possess in his heart.
I knew something may happen to him eventually, but I never knew I would feel so hollow without him, he took a piece of me with him.
And Its pieces like that you really never get back.
I wonder if the person even knows how much pain he caused someone.
Some redneck fuck, who sees an animal and shoots it for not other reason that to have a reason to fire " muh guns ".
Lincoln Price
he looks beautiful
it's so wonderful and beautiful that you both got to share a wonderful life together. that dickhead can never take away that away from you
i'm devastated for you user.
Benjamin Powell
I got mentally fucked up awhile back when I discovered I really was useless. I watched a man die. Nothing any of us did helped him, he died on the side of the road like a deer hit by a car. I didn't see how it happened, but supposedly he simply lost control of his motorcycle. By the time I'd gotten there the highway was backed up. Pulled over to help, but not me or his family could save him. He was dead before the ambulance arrived, but we kept at it anyways. Lying to these peoples faces, telling them he was strong and would pull through broke me inside. Moral of the story is wear a real fucking helmet, not one of these pic related ones.
Caleb Jones
I see what you did here Psychology joke for those who don't understand Its referring to oral fixation and the stage that a child drinks breast milk. It's ironic because this famous psychologist I can't remember the name of technically had oral fixation that he described, but he said "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Gabriel Rogers
some people cry fraud but I think they just cant spell.
Aiden Mitchell
I will love these two even more to honor the memory of your cat.
They are my fuzzy little shithead love sponges. The calico is a female and she sleeps on my chest. Every night.
Josiah Ward
ive been awake for 36 hours sorry m8
Lucas Barnes
....
Brandon Torres
I was making a joke ,friend , his name is Sigmund Freud, go get some sleep please.
Eli Rivera
I tried to commit suicide on my harley once. I was wearing a helmet like that one. 50 mph off the back of a harley into the back of another car at a stoplight should have killed me i wasnt wearing any other protective gear. I should be dead. The cops told me i should be dead. Still dont know why i didnt die. I walked away from that wreck without a single scratch or bump or bruise. And i remember the impact. It was harder than anything i have ever been hit with.
Cameron Parker
Nice pasta you little bitch
Camden Evans
Then you should thank whatever entity blessed you with this second chance at life. What have you done since?
Jacob Phillips
ps not sure if you know this, most chicks are fucking "hideous" without make up, at least by todays standards. If you want your bf to be sexually active with you just greet him with a bj when he gets home and progress from there. Still a likely chance that he thinks you are really frigit and don't want to have sex with him. Keep in mind alot of guy wont make to much of a move anymore due to "rape" and and rejection.
Isaiah Martin
i would very very rarely say this but you should actually kill yourself, or join the army. Either rid yourself of the world as the last kind favor you can do for anyone or join the military and serve as a killing robot in the war to come.
James Foster
This guy knows what's up
Luis Thomas
You should have been less of a twat in your formitive years.
Isaiah Gonzalez
Haha not quite but thanks for the input
We live together. I wear makeup like once a month if that, only for events and shit. My point was that's about as good as it gets.
I'm pretty open talking to him about sex. We're not 12 years old ffs
Landon Thompson
I ate a 1000 count bottle of bayer pills. Over 5000 mg of the stuff. Didnt even feel queasy or sleepy. Didnt have my stomach pumped. Ended up shitting alot of them even though drsnk enough water to dissolve them most of them just passed thru my system. I know this next part will sound kinda fucked up for a suicide attempt but.. When i shat them out they made a ratatatat sound as they litterslly sprayed out of my ass. Couldnt stop laughing at it as it reminded me of the greentext story of the guy thstbput glass beads up his drunk wifes ass to mess with her. Seriously i damn near passed out from laughing so hard and so much while shitting out this continuous rapid fire of pills. I imagine it sounded really disturbing. like pure insanity. Ratatatat of pills hitting porcelan accompanyed by laughter that stsrts as a chuckle and then starts to erupt like the laughter of dr evil ending with maniacal laughter of s guy thst just set the whole planet aflame.
Jonathan Anderson
>be me >in bed >wake up at 9:00 AM >feelscomfyman.jif >masturbate in bed >feels great an comfy >30 minutes later >get up >decides to run to my pc as fast as i could to start shitposting on Sup Forums >wall in the way >ohshit.jpg >i stub my toe really hard >mfw >tfw it still hurts
this is the last time i run to shitpost ;(
Eli Brooks
Also tried jumping off of a 3 story building and only got slightly dazed with a slight crick in my neck when i hit the ground head first. "Well... Heregoes. (Freefall head first) whump-oww. Geez what the hell?"
David Torres
cont.
i suppose what i'm saying is that i appreciate the advice but i'd rather commiseration. i think i'm doing all i can on my front.
i'm open with him about sex. we've discussed other potential problems re: sexuality, low sex drive etc i mention to him semi-regularly that i understand it's out of his control and he has his own anxieties and stuff surrounding sex and treating the phimosis i bought him medical-grade silicone stretchers designed specifically to treat phimosis. he used them like once i even got him to see a sex psychologist - someone who specialises in issues surrounding sex etc. he went once. i've never gotten angry at him. the worst i've done is gotten upset, because of how it makes me feel about me. and even at the time i can acknowledge that that's not fair. i can't help that though
Zachary Lewis
Exit bag. Pass out. 12 hours later wake up late for work to find out i have pissed and shat myself and thstnive been stewing in my own filth long enough to get a slight rash.
Luke Perry
hope that cheered you up, because it made me laugh pretty hard.
Cooper Jenkins
i can totally see the humour in that. when you're fucked up you find humour in dark places. rat tat tat shitting out the pills you tried to kill yourself with is pretty funny
hope you're doing better Sup Forumsro
Michael Nelson
you sound pretty tough, you should train up and become an MMA fighter, win some decent money and if you're still depressed maybe somebody will kill you in the ring if you throw the fight.
Eli Torres
It did at the time. But then i tried the 3 story building onto my head jump. Slight crick in the neck and slightly dazed. Then i tried an exit bag. Passed out snd woke up 12 hours later lste for work and stewing in my own piss and shit with abslight rash from stewing in my own piss andnshit for however long it was i had been there. My boss blowing up my phone angrily trying to find out why i was late is what woke me up.
Lincoln Bell
this is the worst thing to have happened in this whole post
Owen Perry
did you tell your boss what happened?
How are you doing currently?
Leo Hill
Then i tried stepping in front of a bus. Now i know how a worried clark kent feels when he gets thrown. The weird thing is i got hit and got thrown 100 feet by the bus but i flew really slowly. Much slower than i should hsve snd then i was able to turn in the air to face the bus and while making eye contactnwith the driver land on my feet like superman without so much as a slight wobble and then walk away calmly while people either gaped or wondered why others were gaping or just didnt fucking notice.
Leo Sanchez
are you Bruce Willis in Unbreakable what the fuck?
Nolan Lee
>found the 12 year old comic book fanboy
Matthew Wood
sound like god has a plan for you
Angel Brown
At this point don the cape and become a hero user. Worst case some thugs shoot your ass and you dir
Jordan Lee
So afyer all my suicide attempts. I figured God was fucking with me. So i got pissed off at God raised my fist to the sky and screamed at him. "ALRIGHT FINE YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I GET IT. YOU CAN KEEP ME FROM DIEING. WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK. YOU. FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR BULLSHIT. IM GOING TONFIND A WAY AND THEN YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SAVE ME YOU ASSHOLE! FUCK. YOU!!!" Aaaaaaand then i joined the army planning onntaking an mos that gets hit by ieds all the time (back in 2010) Now i am deployed... In kuwait. In the rear. With the gear. Shit you not assigned to keep a log of the navy ships that go in and out of port and when they do so. Kinda funny actually. In a "God is a dick and can fuck with your life however he damn well pleases" kind of way. So.. fuck me i guess. Ultimatly i took up writing star trek fanfiction. And since all the books are oficcially non cannon. Hopefully i can get published.
Cooper Lee
Actually yeah i do love comic books. They are a good bit of clean fun escapism. Bit formulaic and contrived tho.
Anthony Brooks
Is your boyfriend black? Is that why you have a septum piercing?
Owen Fisher
Dude i seriously.. Just. No idea. Its like i have a death immunity or. Situational immortality. The fucked thing is incan still get hurt pretty badly. Ive had a couple of surgurys since joining up. Kidney and gall stones. But its like. If the ammount of dammage im abbout to take is life threatening. Then i dont get a single scratch. If its not then i get bumps and bruises and scrapes just like anynother normal guy. Inseriously have no idea wtf is going on with me
Jeremiah Peterson
Yeah a plan to fuck with me.
Asher Nguyen
just change a few names and you can get around any legal loopholes, thats how that piece of shit did it with 50 shades of grey, that shit was twilight erotic fanfiction.
Jonathan Watson
Cape? Really? Wouldnt that look just a tad bit silly?
Brody Carter
Oh i know. My wife was all about 50 shades when it was a fan fic. Before itbgot popular and published. Twilight was a cavalcade of vampire buickwolf comedy. I love those movies. Great hillarious time.
Jaxon Brooks
become the rider you were meant to be!
Matthew Howard
>buickwolf
what?
Sebastian Smith
Doesn't matter how silly it looks, if you get hit by a truck then just glare at the driver. Nobody will say shit
Angel Sanchez
CYCLONE. JOOOKAAAAHH! Yes i love that show! I am a huge huge nerd. And kinda funnily enough on a whim i designed a rider suit with bodybarmor and tazer/shotgun punch gloves/kickboots. I got bored. And then i got drunk. And then i got creative whike drunk.
Bentley Barnes
HAHAHAHAHAAAA yeah i guess yer right!
Hudson Martin
The werewolves of twilight are actually skin changers. But they are fucking huuuge. The size of a buick huge. Thus: buickwolf.