What's the difference between a blonde and washing machine?

What's the difference between a blonde and washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

ITT we post jokes

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

when is it ok to spit in a middle eastern ladies face?

When her mustache is on fire.

What's the difference between a 10 pound bag of coke and a toddler?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a 10 pound bag of coke fall out of a window.

What's the best was to empty a bathtub full of babies?

With a Pitchfork

What's green, has 8 legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of tree?

A Billiard Table

Your so called joke wasn't funny a bit but the image you posted is.

What's yellow and hangs out of trees?

Monkey Snot.

are you like 8 years old?

what do you call a black man flying an airplane?

a pilot, you racist prick

But ... buuuuuut ... hasn't a pool table only 4 legs ?!
MUH BRAIN !

What's red and sits in the corner?

A baby playing with razor blade.

Nigger with a white dot on his head goes to doctor to get rid of it.

Doctor gives him a pill and nigger says.

"Urghhh this pill tastes like shit"

Doctor says

"It is, you just needed a topup"

Nice

How do you make a niggerette pregnant?

Cum on the dirt and let the flies do the rest.

Why did the farmer win a trophy?

He was outstanding in his field.

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

Holy shit

That was terrible. I love it.

What do you do when you see a nigger with half a head?

Stop laughing and reload.

Why do niggers stink?

So blind people can hate them too.

What's the difference between a nigger and a pile of dog shit?

The dog shit will finally turn white and stop stinking.

Why don't blind people skydive?

Their guide dogs don't like it.

Bear and rabbit in the woods having a shit.

Bear turns to the rabbit and says

"Do you find that shit sticks to your fur too?"

Rabbit thinks for a moment a replies.

"No"

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

who much do you open your door when a refugee is outside?

9mm

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells,

‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’

He replies.

‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’

why was the white chocolate invented?

so niggers dont bite their own hands

What do ya call a vertically challenged dwarf whos never had sex?

OP

I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Where does the king keep his armies?

UP HIS SLEEVIES!

...

Two Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine.

He lasts over 10 minutes.

His mate goes

'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!'

Guy replies

'I get lots of practice'

'My wife's an epileptic'

Why are femanons like clouds?

Eventually they fuck off and its a really nice day.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?


A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What's black and hangs from the ceiling?

An Irish Electrician

What's the worst thing about being Jesus?

You can't hold onto your smarties.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You can hide your own easter eggs.

Im more familiar with those two-wide-along-the-side-legged pool tables

"Knock knock."
"Whose there?"
"Ma'am it's the police your son was killed in a car accident the driver was an alcohol."

What do you do if your daughter tells you she was raped by Spider-Man?

Change to a Batman costume!

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor

Mom and daughter are taking a shower together on a Sunday morning. Daughter looks up and says mommy what's that?

Mom says "oh honey it's a vagina"
Girl says " when will I have one of those?"
The mom replies, " you do honey you will get older and will look more like mine!"

Monday morning moms getting ready for work so the daughter has to shower with her dad.
She looks up and says "daddy what's that?"
He says, "oh sweeties is a penis"
"A penis? Will I get one of those too?!"
Dad replies back saying " you will in about 20 minuets when mommy leaves for work"

Do you know what the best thing is about toddlers?


You can deepthroat them from behind!