Be 21

>be 21
>have a literal 10/10 gf
>like, literal 10/10. I don't know how the fuck I got her
>she's a really sweet, quirky, geeky girl, she's been through hell and back (lost both parents very young)
>loves me to death and shows it all the time
>however, she's very negative
>has good reason to whinge about many things, but whinges about minor shit
>will rant at least once, daily, over shit I would consider entirely unimportant
>consistently un-supportive in most aspects of my ambitions, wants, goals and dreams (i.e. want to build another successful business, she obsesses over the possibility of me valuing work over our relationship)
>rarely argue, but when she bickers and brings up what she perceives as negative aspects of my ambitions it literally sucks the fucking life-force out of me
>I literally feel like I could sleep for a week after her 'well, I just feel that...' sessions

wat do? do I break up with her? Is this realistically sustainable in the long term? advice from oldfags who've been there & done that plz

>pic somewhat unrelated

Other urls found in this thread:

nytimes.com/2016/12/01/health/hallucinogenic-mushrooms-psilocybin-cancer-anxiety-depression.html
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>you are a literal faggot

kill her parents

....wait

...

move on. i broke up with my gf who was way more attractive than me because she annoyed me. iv become much happier in the long run. looks fade. attitude lasts.

>you are a literal nigger

>looks fade. attitude lasts.

Excellent point user, never saw it that way.

bump

Sounds like you need to manager her, when she starts on the negative stuff try turn it around to something positive or try put a positive spin on her negativity. She's a 10 so worth the time & effort

Yeah perhaps when I'm just exhausted in the first place, it reks my ability to deal with it constantly.

The other part of me says "look at what she's dealt with, why would you complain over something as unimportant as this" which again makes me feel hypocritical, too

Not trying to be disrespectful but, do you really see yourself taking care of someone with emotional issues? Honestly that is what it will boil down to. My last gf was a 8.5-9/10 but her personality and emotional stability was for shit. My current gf is beautiful as well but she is all there and established. She is very supportive and I love her dearly.

Ex gf - 8 years so yeah, I know the long term

Yeah I need to see beyond the pretty face and tight pussy, I suppose my age somewhat contributes to that blindness.

I never honestly considered the long-term effects of losing both her parents before 20, as stupid as it sounds. She appears to have dealt with it all so well that it kind of melts into the background when seeing her day-in and day-out.

Do you want to be with a clingy beauty queen or someone who you would feel comfortable having and taking care of your children?

She's not even a 10.

sounds like you are just thinking with your dick. Try to think it this way: Is this the girl you want to have a family with? And should she be the mother of your children? Dont stay in a relationship with her just because she is pretty

If you don't want her, send her to my house.

Let's give Sup Forumstard pop psychology a shot:

You are her big fluffy teddy bear, and she fears change because she is traumatized by too much change (RIP in peace parents) in the past. She whines about small shit, because her ability to discern large shit from small shit is damaged, to her having the toilet clog when she flushes the toilet is like dealing with someone dying. Yes it is the fault of her damaged perceptions and no it is not your responsibility to change it.

Here is the crux of the problem. She will never change unless she can see on her own how she is damaged, and learns on her own a way to change, and then makes the changes herself. If you can put up with it, you do so at a cost. You already can feel that cost.

It may very well be that she won't change while with you because she has a big fluffy teddy bear to hug (You) when she get's scared. Why fix yourself when you have the things you consider will keep you safe? Of course the solution is also shitty, leave and she MAY fix herself, but will likely hate you for leaving. So she MAY get to be happy, just not with you. Or she MAY never improve, and might even get worse when her big fluffy teddy bear abandoned her.

All in all. You can't live with them, and you can't live without them. So go to the deep web and buy yourself a sex slave.

Leave your 3/10 gf user. We all know no one here is capable of 10s

Alice is that you? :)

I had exact same case with my ex OP ..

I recommended that she goes to psychologist.. so she did..

i did cheat on her and broke up anyway .. but now i regret that cuz she did fix herself after my advice ..

You say she has plenty of things to complain about but she complains about the minor things. Maybe she finds it easier to bitch and moan about little things than deal with the more serious stuff. Try get her to face some of it.

OP here, awesome summary. In your opinion; would counselling be something that could help her? I've suggested it but she's too anxious about it and not keen

But how do I go about this without destroying her? I want her to be able to cope with things but don't want to absolutely ruin her state of mind - I'm no psychologist (as is evident).

I have suggested counselling but she's reluctant, and I do know many people who have ended up worse from seeking psychologist help. Wat do?

Get her to take a Vipassana meditation course.

Also worth trying:
nytimes.com/2016/12/01/health/hallucinogenic-mushrooms-psilocybin-cancer-anxiety-depression.html

Had 7 GF's now. It's not nice but you can stereotype people and when you get damage done goods fuck them off. But that's me.

Ask yourself this questions and be totally honest and you'll get your answer immediately.

If you ever had a wife and you have a kid and the kid gets Down syndrome... do you a) out it down. b) raise a Down syndrome kid.

Answer A - break up with her
Answer B - stick it out

Damn, answered A.

But in all honesty I don't think I would ever raise a child knowing they had down syndrome or some other serious disability, for three reasons:

a) Quality of life
b) Having to go through life knowing my child will suffer disadvantage, bullying, exploitation and suffering at every step of their journey
c) Having to go through life knowing that my wife would be suffering the same

Do you have experience with vipassana? What's its premise?

Psylocibin/DMT/etc. are out of the question as I'd lose my clearance

In terms of how to do it.

I've done it 5 times. Like a bandaid.
Meet up with her and just say look - this isn't working sorry. I think we both know it. She'lll cry, she'll message you. She'll ask why. Just stick to the old 'were not a good couple and it's ruining both of us. you'll find someone you a perfect match with.'

Trust me - don't waste your fucking time and do it ASAP.

Met my wife at 24 after a bunch of hit and misses and found what an awesome relationship is. Fucking sooooo much better than the BS emotional luggage bitches. Like a car that works instead of a hand me down push bike.

hot:crazy ratio... crazy can fuck up your life. Later you'll be able to buy/sell/trade hot all you want.

All women whine and rant. They usually do it with each other. If you want into her friend zone, keep listening and give her justification to cuck you.

>says he has 10/10 gf
>she's negative, complains, and is unsupportive

which is it, faggot?

10/10 in looks my nigger

stick your cock in her mouth; skull fuck her; kiss her forhead and say, "Nice talk... it'd be great if you could go get me a drink."; help her up; hand her a napkin and push her towards the kitchen. Always be a gentleman and say, "You're welcome."

Yer most people say A. No one likes to admit it but quality of life works both ways.

The old saying 'There's someone for everyone' is true.

There's 16 personality profiles and each has a profile match to others.

It's how corporations plan managements and teams.

It's also applicable to relationships...

It's not nice to stereotype but fact of the matter is - you can.

A while ago they did some test for compatibility and published the statistics on it. Something's like everyone has 60,000 possible perfect matches or something crazy.

There are personality profiles where one person abuses the other ( you case) where's both abuse, where one neglects, both neglect on and on and on.
Seriously though. Don't even try to help because you're not the person she needs and you already know it. The worst thing you can do is keep hanging on. The best thing you can do is just cold turkey her and let her move on.

1) tell her
2) if you're considering splitting but she is supposedly 10/10 material then do couples counseling.

this isn't rocket science. it sounds like you want big change without putting in big effort.

Look, OP, the situation is not going to get better. In fact it will likely deteriorate as your relationship goes on.

If you're hoping you can change her attitude, you won't. So the question is, can you live with her acting like this in the long term?

>couples counseling
toppity kek

10/10's don't make you wanna suicide.

Sounds like she could just use some therapy. She lost her parents young and it's created some nihilism. Help her get help.

Okay, suppose I bring this up.

How's the best way to do it?
>I'm a tadpole in the pond of life
>I value the experience of you oldfags, oh wise ones

There's also a bunch of feeder personality types called enablers. They are the ones who will say dumb shit like 'you should give her support, let her down easy, take her to a psyc'

Trust me. There's a reason they are enablers lol. Don't listen to them unless you want two fucked up awkward people for life and to waste years of your life.

Also - there's personality matches for enablers too :D so they can Ben happy. Just don't get sucked in by one

Guess she isn't a real 10/10 huh buddy

> literal 10/10
> geeky

heh

I just broke up with a girl because I didn't like her arguing with me. Heheh.

Ok, honestly, I could have stayed with her. It requires a certain amount of maturity and inner strength to put up with someone's shit, which I seem to lack.

But women really do nag.

Well I'll tell you something, you are young and there a better girls and in any case, having a hot girlfriend isn't the point of life. Do what you want to do and find a girl who goes along with it.

But if she nags about it say something like "Well whether or not I change my ambitions is up to me, but let me know if there is anything I can do to help you accept to me without actually changing who I am."

I just thought of that line today actually. Maybe don't use it word for word, but really, it's about accepting each other. If she can't accept you then you can't accept her. Maybe you can help her to accept you... I think that is something you can offer.... like communicate about yourself differently. Show her that it's not you that annoys her, but it's her perception of you.

waiting for pics that will never come.

Are you talking about the MBIT?
If so; I'm an ENTJ

She's extremely introverted, not at all an intuitive thinker, meticulously organised. I feel like we work well and are a good match, but she just drains me with negativity at times.

just tell her to stfu, she either will and you win, or she wont and you'll break up, in which case she was never going to stop and you won anyway.

Too many anons put up with a crap relationship because "she's a 10/10". Doesn't make you happy, does it?

Doesn't matter how she looks. If you aren't happy, move on. There are women who are supportive, faithful, fun to be with, aren't drama queens, and loving. They aren't all 10/10s though.

Don't be that guy who passes up the right girl because some other one was two points higher on the scale. Not worth it unless your goal in life is to be miserable with a 10/10 on your arm.

She sounds insecure as fuck, and tbh that's probably the reason she's with you, because she doesn't realise she can shoot higher. for your sake, don't try and help her, if she builds her confidence and self-esteem up she'll probably leave you. Brutal Honesty

>Well whether or not I change my ambitions is up to me, but let me know if there is anything I can do to help you accept to me without actually changing who I am.

Man this is gold. This is exactly what I need.
You know I've kinda realised that relationships are largely in part built upon compromises. I mean this in that; say for example your wifey has always desperately wanted to live in Hawaii. Your dream job you've always wanted is in San Fran. A compromise would be you saying "okay, we'll go to Hawaii" or her saying "Sure, we'll go to San fran".

On a more realistiic level, I guess it means saying "Okay sweetie, I'm sorry and I was wrong - I love you lots." even when you're totally fucking right

I do the latter a lot, and I'm fine with it, but it's a whole lot of being expected to apologise for shit which I don't think warrants an apology. Gets exhausting.

I appreciate the honesty

She could literally get whoever she wants, so probably does make sense as to why she's with me in that regard - alluding to what said, I'm the teddy bear or safety blanket. Perhaps it's best, for her and me, for us to go and do our own thing.

I feel you. Reading this was like reading a snippet from a paragraph of my own autobiography... if I were to write one.

I've been with her for 12 years now...

Run.

Run the fuck away if you want to preserve your soul from growing colder with each day your dreams are shattered into a million pieces by a simple few words.

Just words.

But words of a succubus.

Get away my friend.

>You know I've kinda realised that relationships are largely in part built upon compromises.

I'm not so sure about that. Some relationships are, some relationships aren't.

You don't have to play people's games.

So what makes you stay with her?

>>be 21

stopped reading right there grow up you fucking faggot

tell her that her negativirty rubs of on you and makes you feel like shit, and if she cares about your feelings shes should change her negative outlook, you basically need to be her psychiater for a while, i went trough basically the same thing, she would just complain about everything and act like everything is bad and will never be better, and shed have these crazy moodswings, she needs to learn how to appreciatte what she has, but the only way to be succesfull when atempting stuff like this is that she needs to love you more than you love her, which, if you ask me, is the basis for any succesfull relationship.

Pro-Tip: A lot of gorgeous women are very insecure.

Just get her on some lexapro and see if it gets better. If it doesn't then dump her. I used to freak out about little things and was super anxious. 5 bucks a month and bam my anxiety is normal and I am a better person to be around. I had a traumatic childhood too and never realised how messed up I was.

This is true. Don't bother looking for someone to marry until you are at least 28. You can still find a good partner at 45 if you leave it that long. Focus on doing what you want.

Well I guess how would it be possible to have a relationship without compromise?
Level 1:
>I want mcdonalds, she wants burger king; no problem we'll go to burger king

Level 2:
>I want to study in michigan, she wants to work in DC. It's cool, she decided to let us move to michigan

Level 3:
>I want an investment property before owning my own house to live in, she wants to build a home. Okay, we'll build our own home.

Level 4:
>I want kids, but in around 7 years time. She wants kids now. It's cool, she agrees to wait until then.

Now imagine if no party in the relationship compromised at all: from level 1, you're screwed. What other option is there?

Post a picture of her you fucking cuckold.

Thanks for the headsup. Did lexapro help with moodswings and depression, too?

> my gf is superclingy

> what do

Tell her to shut up and stop killing your vibe?
make it a big deal and keep reinforcing that she has become the naysayer

over and over again, repetition untill everytime she opens her mouth to complain about you trying to get the job done she subconsciously feels ashamed and guilty

drop names like yoko ono, helen of troy, whatever just women ruining shit for everyone

Just fucking do it, win the fucking argument man

you need to find someone that will in clichéd terms, be the wind in your sails, not the anchor to your ship. Find someone that when you explain your ambitions they reply "how can I help" not "I don't think that'll work"

Well the mood swings might be from anxiety. Given what she has had happen it might be the issue. I felt wound up to tight all the time and would snap about everything. I ended up having panic attacks in my mid 30s. I went to doctor and he said sounds like GAD. Got on 10mg lexapro a day.

Pfuh. I got married at 22. Now 33. Best thing I ever did.

Whar kind if moron puts off having kids until your 40s and 50s? It's more difficult, more dangerous, and interferes with the prime earning period of most careers.

Taking life advice from the 20 year old virgin freaks here is stupid.

>literal 10/10
>rants daily
>unsuportive
>questions your value over your relationship and tries to keep you from reaching your potential

Sounds like a self absorbed brat.
>muh dead parents

Get over it. Sure it's rough but that doesn't mean she gets to be a bitch.

Ditch her and focus on achieving your dreams. She won't change. There's another 10 out there that will see you for who you are.

Women are stupid. Not even joking or mad about it. You've got to train them like a dog. Dogs are hungry for food so that's what you use to train them.

Women are hungry for attention and validation. That's what you use. Like a dog though, she's stupid and will fuck up no matter how good she is. You have to punish her too. Yours didn't have parents so she didn't get trained properly most likely.

If you can sexualize the punishment, even better. Eventually when you've broken her off the annoying shit you can make rules you both know she'll break just to force you to "punish" her.

Or just break up with her if you're shit ayy planning and executing because she'll just get worse and uglier.

user speaks truth. If you aren't willing on turning tables, time to get over her. Don't get tied at 21. It's the best time to be moving and active as to have an emotional burden.

Sacrifice means one person loses and one person wins. Look for win-win solutions

Level 1:
There are some easy win-win scenarios.

Drive a bit further down the road and go to both drive-thrus. Then eat in a park or at home. Both people eat what they want. Or take turns deciding where to eat.

Level 2 and up :

Assuming you've been together for a while, like at least a year, and it's serious, then you should already be making plans that suit both people. One person can't just say "We have to move to city X". No single person is in control. Once you get to that level of commitment you have to look at it for what is best for the partnership. What's best for the group? It should never be one person's will over another. This is different to sacrifice.

Yes it did help with mood swings and it is an antidepressant. After day 3 I woke up and felt normal for the first time ever. Like "oh this is what all the other jerk offs feel like". Seriously a godsend. I'm a better husband and dad and worker because of it. And no don't worry it doesn't make you a zombie or change who you are.

It takes a full month to hit full effect and maybe two for the side effects to die down. It does have some pretty gnarly side effects but your body adapts and they minimize if you stick with it.

Confront her about her behavior first. If she's bitchy about, then consider breaking up with her.

Awesome, cheers user

absolutely dont listen to this hillbilly. early relationships rarely last because neither know themselves very well or what they actually want out of life. you get pushed towards this cookie cutter life of getting married, having kids, buying a house and you dont even know if you want it.

20s and early 30s should be left for travelling and meeting new people. people are living longer than ever. no one wants to spend 3/4 of their life with the same person every day.

go live life. learn to be comfortable on your own. then find someone who you want in your life because you benefit each other, not someone you need because you are each others crutch.

McDonald's shit tier. Get her that book that exposes it's shit food.
Just move to NYC, it's best of both worlds.
Owning an apartment is a better investment if both parties wish to move a lot.

Tell her your not financially stable yet to support a child. If she's 30+ you're fucked

Good for you. I'm 34, I have a 7yo daughter but I separated.

>be hillbilly user
>turn 37
>live in a mobile home
>financially oppressed
>vote trump again. still needs 4 years to MAGA.

one of my best friends is like this, and we've been friends for years: express to her how and why that she is draining you and have a deep talk about it. honesty makes a big difference. enjoy the sex! :)

The same time as the first half of all the time of booking your hire car at different locations with our voucher code during checkout process which allows you to the right person who can help you find the best price for the weekend

/Thread